by Alisa Easton
“What?” I asked breathless. I dropped the compact mirror in the process and then breathed a sigh of relief when I checked that it hadn’t broken. I wasn’t really superstitious but why take the chance on seven years of bad luck?
“Look at you. I’ve never seen you like this over a man, not even with that lousy ex of yours. This Adam must be something pretty special to have that kind of effect on you.”
“Adam? Wait…what?” I felt my heart sink into my stomach. Why hadn’t I even considered the possibility that Adam might show up looking for me? He only lived right around the corner after all. I shouldn’t have been surprised. It had been a few days since we’d spoken and I knew that we still had that unfinished business out there to attend to. I’d just been so caught up in my own little fantasy world that I forgot to check back in to reality along the way.
The smile on Mary’s face turned to confusion.
“I thought you and Adam were dating?” she asked.
“We are, I’m sorry, I just meant … of course, it’s Adam.”
“There is someone else,” she said noticing the disappointment that I was certain I could not hide from my face. I wanted to slam my head into the desk a few times to put Reese out of my head but I had the sinking feeling that even that wouldn’t help. For better or for worse, I’d gotten myself tangled in a mess and to think that only a month ago, I didn’t even have a date. I sighed heavily.
“No, of course not,” I lied as I left the office with Mary close behind me. No doubt she would be watching my interaction with Adam closely for clues as to what was really going on with me.
I smiled probably a bit too enthusiastically when I saw him in the far corner of the reception area with Tiger on a leash looking nervous as he sniffed around at the scents left by my previous patients.
“Adam! What a nice surprise. What are you doing here?”
He closed the gap between us and kissed me lightly on the lips. I could feel Mary’s eyes boring into my back when he pulled away.
“I had some free time and I know that you usually go out to lunch around this time so I thought maybe you’d like some company from Tiger and me.”
“That would be wonderful,” I said although I couldn’t help feeling a sting of disappointment. I had been planning on using the free time to reflect and relive the amazing night I’d had. Spending the afternoon with Adam would mean an hour of pretending that it never happened.
I played tug of war with my conscience as we walked to the deli shop a few blocks from my office. A part of me felt obligated to tell him that there was someone else while another part of me felt that it was still too early in our relationship to expect that we wouldn’t be seeing other people.
Reese was my own little experiment in a world of sex where I’d been too afraid to dabble before. I didn’t know at this point what exactly that meant but I wasn’t willing to let go until I figured it out. Adam didn’t need to know about it and if I really wanted to go all out in the art of rationalization, I could say that Adam may actually end up benefiting from my new experience. That part actually made me feel guiltier though so I let it drop and tried to focus on the conversation. He was going on about something at work that had him a bit stressed. Apparently, taking a break, getting some air, and seeing me were all part of his plan to de-stress.
We sat side by side on a bench outside the sandwich shop and enjoyed our lunch, which I admitted was nowhere near as good as the sandwiches that he’d made during our first picnic lunch together. Tiger didn’t seem to mind, however, and was grateful when Adam tossed him a bite now and again.
I felt his arm around my shoulders as I sipped my Coke. His fingertips grazed my arm lightly reminding me of the morning in his kitchen and I flushed with embarrassment. I felt like I should apologize but I didn’t know where to start or what to say.
“How was lunch with your mom and sister?” I asked. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he’d been thinking about that day as well but probably not about his family.
“They are good, thanks. You should have stuck around. They are really eager to meet you.”
I laughed. “I don’t think I was dressed appropriately to meet your family.”
“Well, not that time,” he said, “not that I am complaining. I think you should come by my house wearing that particular outfit again.”
I felt my face flush and looked away to avoid his eyes. He took it as a sign of shyness but really it was the guilt gnawing away at the pit of my stomach again. I’d been with someone else last night. Should I tell him?
“They would like to meet you,” he said. I looked at him in alarm.
“I couldn’t… I mean…”
“It’s a little early,” I know. He used the arm around my shoulder to pull us a little closer together, “They are just excited to meet the girl they’ve heard so much about.”
“You told them about me?”
“Of course.”
This time it was his turn to blush and I wondered what he might have told his family considering the fact that we still barely knew each other and I’d still managed to screw things up so much along the way. After all, I’d been nearly naked on his kitchen counter with his hands all over me only moments before his mom and sister had shown up.
“All good I hope?”
“Every word.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “They were curious about the lovely young woman who has stolen my heart.”
“Wow… I mean…”
“Not pushing, I know it’s still too soon and you don’t feel the same way about me, at least not yet. It’s okay though, we’ll work on that.” He released his arm from around my shoulder and finished off the last of his drink and gave Tiger a big fuss.
“I really do like you.”
“It’s okay, really, you don’t have to say anything,” he said turning back to me and giving me a reassuring smile. I wasn’t sure if it made me feel better or worse. Adam didn’t deserve to be strung along.
“I better get back to work.”
“We’ll walk with you,” he said standing up and reaching out to take my hand. I slipped my hand into his even though it felt awkward sharing such intimacy with him when all I could think about was tearing off my clothes and having my way with Reese.
“So, I’m free tonight, you know,” he said as we walked back in the direction of my office.
I looked up at him wondering what exactly he was implying. He hesitated and looked nervous before speaking again.
“I mean, if you wanted to ummm… surprise me again.”
“Oh…”
“I mean, only if you really wanted to, of course.”
“Of course. I mean, I don’t know. I think I might have plans with Sylvia tonight but I’ll think about it, okay?”
“No pressure. I just thought that maybe we could pick up where we left off and see where it leads. You never know. You might be pleasantly surprised if you gave me half a chance.”
We stopped in front of my office building and I paused nervously fishing for the right words to put him off any plans to seduce me without hurting his feelings or crushing him completely.
“I’m really sorry about turning up unannounced at your house like that,” I stammered.
“Don’t be. I’m not.”
“It’s just that, I didn’t mean for things to get serious so quickly.”
I could see the disappointment in his face as he looked down at Tiger instead of me and I felt like I would be in jeopardy of losing my lunch. I was never very good at disappointing people. That’s one of the things that always got me into trouble.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. I really do,” I said trying to explain myself and feeling like I was only making it worse. Worse yet, was I only lying? I wanted to be with Reese.
“All in good time, right? In the meantime, I have enough to fuel my fantasies.” He flashed me a shy smile that made me smile in return. He really could be very charming when he wanted to be. That would make it all the har
der when the time came to break up with him but I hated myself for even thinking that.
“Listen, I said,” just as he was turning around to leave, “I was wondering if you would be up for a double date with Sylvia and her boyfriend?”
He turned back to me and smiled again. Whatever it was about that invitation seemed to do more to smooth over the sting of rejection he’d felt when I’d been reluctant to show up at his house wearing next to nothing.
“That sounds like fun,” he said.
“I need to work out the details with Sylvia. She doesn’t actually know about it yet. To make a long story short, I’m trying to convince her to give her boyfriend another chance and I think the only shot I have at getting her in the same room is if I arrange a surprise double date. I’m going to lure her in by telling her that she’s meeting you.”
“Cupid strikes again,” he teased, “Consider me in. I’m all for Cupid.”
I giggled and he walked back to me taking my face into his hand and pressing his lips into mine. I felt him try to intensify the kiss but I held back and he let go and wished me a good afternoon.
Mary pounced on me almost the moment I’d walked through the door. Apparently she’d eaten her lunch in the office and had been watching and waiting. It was times like these that I wished our professional relationship hadn’t crossed the borders into friendship over the years. Mary was older, married for many years, and had a family of nearly grown boys. She’d taken on a motherly tone with me from the moment we met and I’d never done anything to stop that. I shouldn’t have been surprised that she was going to push for details even though I didn’t find it appropriate to supply them.
“You’re in love, young lady,” she said persisting and following me around the office as I prepared for surgery. I had two neuterings this afternoon and I was wishing I’d had a few cups of coffee to help wake me up. My lack of sleep was quickly catching up with me.
“I’m not in love,” I said trying to pass it off. I knew there was no fooling Mary but even still, I couldn’t face the possibility that I might actually be in love with a man that I didn’t even know.
“Not with Adam, you’re not.” She’d spoken out loud the reality that I knew we both were thinking. It definitely wasn’t Adam who had managed to so completely capture my attention. “So who is this big mystery man then?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She opened her mouth to say something but seemed to think better of it. I took my cue to lock myself in my little office where I could escape the awkward conversation. I loved Mary like she was a member of my own family. I didn’t want things to get weird around the office but at the same time, I didn’t need her to push into secrets that I wasn’t willing to share right now. There had to be a line and perhaps I would have to be the one to draw it. This was one matter which I was unwilling to discuss at work.
I pulled out my cell phone and flipped to Sylvia’s number on my speed dial. I hadn’t spoken to her since I ran into Ben at the grocery store so she still didn’t know that I knew the real reason that she wasn’t seeing him anymore. I didn’t plan to reveal this particular secret either. I sighed to myself. My life was growing out of control with secrets lately and I wasn’t sure at which point it was simply going to burst at the seams unable to contain itself any longer. I had never been very good at keeping secrets.
“Hello,” said a slightly flustered voice on the other end of the line when she picked up.
“How’s it going, Sylvia?” I said trying my best to act casual. I still hadn’t entirely devised my plan of attack.
“It’s been a full morning of divorce drama by couples that had no business getting married in the first place but otherwise, it is good. What’s up?”
“You’ll never guess who surprised me for lunch at work today,” I said knowing that I’d reel her in by the temptations of my apparently blossoming social life.
“Adam!”
“Yes, seems that everything is just peachy keen between us. Better even.”
“My, my, well isn’t this good news. So when are you dropping your panties?”
Sylvia always managed to get straight to the point, one of the reasons I loved her so much. I swallowed hard trying not to let her hear the cringe in my voice. Mary had seen through me easily enough. Given half a chance, so would Sylvia. Please god, I prayed, let me be a brilliant liar just one day.
“Soon,” I said deciding that it was better to keep it simple. Give her hope without elaborating and she’d be more likely to buy it.
“And you are going to give me all the details when you do.”
“Of course, Sylvia, but I’m not planning to rush into anything.”
“Oh, don’t be so practical all the time, Alex. It ruins all the fun. Sounds to me like this guy is getting pretty serious about you. How do you feel about that?”
“It’s okay. I think I’m finally ready to let go of everything that happened with Ed and move forward with my life,” I lied. I didn’t really want to think that Adam was getting serious about me. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“That’s big, Alex. I’m really happy for you. I think there is a lot of potential for you with this Adam guy. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“Yes, about that…”
“Oh! You’re going to actually let me meet this guy. This is big. This is even bigger than I thought. You’re falling in love with this guy, aren’t you?”
“Sylvia, I hardly know him.”
“So what, that didn’t stop you with Ed. You guys weren’t dating more than a couple months before you started sizing him up as husband material. You couldn’t drag that guy down the aisle fast enough. No wonder he took off running in the other direction.”
“Sylvia!”
I wanted to slam the phone down but I took a deep breath and tried to steady my nerves. Sylvia had the bad habit of speaking her mind even to the detriment of friendships or other relationships. I was better than most at ignoring her comments and understanding that she didn’t really mean any harm in them. This was one of those times when I found it more difficult to accept.
“Sorry, Alex, I guess you’re not quite over him.”
“It’s not that I’m not over him. Really, I am so over him and there are mistakes that I made with him that I never want to make again but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to make me feel bad about what happened. I didn’t force him to walk down that aisle. He asked me to marry him, not the other way around and when we said ‘I do’, I took those vows seriously. I didn’t deserve what he did to me.”
“You’re right. My comments were out of line. I’m sorry, Alex. I hate that he hurt you like he did. He’s a scum and you deserve so much better.”
“Thanks, Sylvia. I know you didn’t mean to say it but I know how you can make it up to me.”
“Anything, say the word and I’ll do it.”
“Have dinner with Adam and me this Thursday evening.”
“Absolutely! I would love to.”
“Bring Ben too.”
“Alex, you know I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” I faked innocence, giving her the chance to come clean about the real reason she was no longer seeing him even though I knew she wouldn’t admit it.
“He’s moved on. We’re not seeing each other anymore, remember?”
“Oh yes,” I pretended to be surprised, “You mentioned having a date with someone new last night. How did that go?”
“It was fine. I mean… well, it was okay.”
“Not quite as good as Ben?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m over that whole thing with Ben. I don’t know what I was thinking. You see, I gave the guy a chance and he left me high and dry. You can never really trust a man, Alex.”
“Yeah, well, you know what, Sylvia?”
“What?”
“I don’t think you should give up so easily.”
“I don’t care about the guy.”
“I think you do.”
“Well, you’re wrong.”
“I would really like you to bring him to dinner with Adam and me. Adam wants to meet him.”
“It’s not going to happen, Alex. I don’t mind being a third wheel but if it’s really so important to you that I have a date for the evening, I’ll find someone. There are plenty of guys lining up just waiting for a chance to go out with me. But I am not bringing Ben. He’s not worth the time of day.”
“Well, I happen to think he’s very sweet but if you don’t want to bring him, that’s fine. Just come yourself and meet Adam.”
“I would love to, Alex. I’m really looking forward to meeting him.”
After I hung up, I sighed heavily as I slumped against my desk. I didn’t really expect her to give in to inviting Ben but I was really hoping that she wouldn’t be so stubborn against the idea.
Chapter 15
I had to do a little digging but I eventually came across Ben’s phone number tucked away in my desk after our little run in at the grocery store. I dialed his number and held my breath hoping he would answer. I was in luck. He was home.
“We need to talk,” I told him.
I gave him a quick run down of the conversation that I’d had with Sylvia and her reluctance to the double date. Despite her stubbornness, Ben didn’t seem deterred to go ahead with our dinner plans. I hoped that we weren’t making a mistake by tricking her into the same room with him under the guise of meeting Adam. Even though I felt like the ends justified the means, it didn’t really seem fair.
I couldn’t expect her to talk about Ben anymore than I was willing to talk about Reese. I wished that he was the one that I was introducing her to at the restaurant on Thursday, rather than Adam.
I was momentarily distracted by images of Reese again and the amazing night that I’d had with him and I even felt a little guilty that I expected Sylvia to spill her guts about her feelings for Ben even though I continued to keep Reese a secret.
Thankfully, Ben was on board for my plans of getting Sylvia and him together in the same room. We sketched out the details together and by the time I hung up the phone, I was feeling pretty good that our plan might just work, well, to the extent that I’d get the two of them together in the same room. Beyond that, I didn’t know. A lot was going to depend on whether or not Sylvia made the choice to give relationships a chance.