Before It's Too Late (Troubled Hearts Book 3)

by Savannah Brooks

  Hindered by nothing more than a thin layer of silky polyester, Zach’s erection bobbed painfully, seeking attention and any sort of friction it could find.

  Zach managed a hoarse whisper. “Yes.”

  Cael placed his hand on Zach’s thigh, his fingers mere inches from the crevice between his leg and groin. “You sure?”

  Zach nodded, his gaze fixated on Cael’s hand, following each and every movement. Cael slid his hand over and carefully wrapped his large hand around the soft material encompassing Zach’s cock. He gave it a gentle squeeze then started fisting him, slowly.

  Zach’s mouth fell open as he dropped his head back against the cushion, and he closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Not only had it been a long time since anyone had touched him like this, but he also couldn’t remember another person’s touch feeling this wonderful before. He was already unraveling at the seams. “Fucking hell.”

  “Like that?”

  “Fuck, yes,” Zach growled.

  Cael increased the speed of his strokes. The heat of Cael’s hand mixed with the soft friction of his pajama pants had Zach on the edge in an embarrassingly short amount of time. He clawed the edge of the cushion beneath him, desperate for something to grab.

  The sensations Cael pumped through Zach with just his hand were too much too fast. Before Zach knew it, a guttural cry escaped him as he came, hard and long, spurting into his pants. The incredible pleasure pulsed through him. Holy fucking hell, he actually saw stars. Beside him, Cael’s breathing slowed and deepened as he continued to pump Zach until he was spent.

  As the tension left Zach’s body, he slumped into the deep cushions. Cael pulled his hand away, and Zach replaced it with his, using his pants to try and wipe the mess inside away from his skin. Blinking his eyes open, Zach looked up at Cael grinning down at him, and that’s when it hit him. Zach had just let Cael jerk him off and watch him come. He should feel awkward about it, but he didn’t. He was actually giddy about it.

  “What?” Zach asked, feeling his own lips stretch into an uncontrollable grin that almost matched Cael’s.

  “Nothing,” Cael smirked, humor dancing in his eyes. “You just look like you really enjoyed that.”

  “Yeah. So? Who doesn’t enjoy getting off, especially when someone else does the work?”

  “I didn’t think you’d actually let me do it.”

  Zach choked out a laugh. “You can thank alcohol and desperation for that. I probably would have let anyone do it with how hard up I was and everything I’ve been going through.”

  Cael’s smile disappeared almost instantly. “Yeah, I bet.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Oh, nothing,” he said. “Just what you said reminded me of something.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah. I’m good.”

  Zach felt a little hollow inside. “Things didn’t just get weird between us, did they?”

  “Well, it’s not every day a gay guy gets to jerk off his straight best friend, but I don’t think it has to be weird if you don’t.”

  “Not weird works for me.”

  Cael gave him an odd smile, as if he couldn’t decide between being happy or sad.

  “Okay, well, I think I need to go clean up before this dries. You gonna hang for a bit longer?”

  Cael stood before Zach did. “Actually I think I’m gonna take off. I’ve got an early shift tomorrow.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Zach didn’t hide the disappointment in his voice. He followed him to the front door. As Cael stepped outside, Zach leaned against the open door. “Hey.”

  Cael turned. “Yeah?”

  “I know I don’t say it enough, but thanks. I seriously don’t think I could have gotten through the last couple months without you.”

  Cael gave him a half-smile. “No problem, Pook. What are best friends for anyway?” His searching gaze locked on Zach’s for a moment. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Cael turned and walked away.

  Zach stood frozen in place, left in a daze as he watched Cael leave.

  Friends. Even if Zach decided he wanted more, that’s all they would ever be. Cael didn’t do relationships. He’d said it before. He didn’t want to be attached to anyone or tied down. That obviously included Zach, which was really fucking painful because he was quickly realizing he did want more from Cael, and knowing that it wasn’t even possible fucking hurt like hell.

  Chapter 6

  I’m a freakin’ idiot.

  As Cael stepped into the warm spray of his shower, dropping his head and letting the water run all over him, he reminded himself repeatedly how stupid he’d been tonight.

  Cael never should have let himself get caught up in that moment with Zach the way he did. He’d tried to pretend Zach was just another one-night stand while he jerked him off. It was obvious Zach had thought it was just him screwing around with him, and really, why would he have thought anything different?

  Even if Zach was into guys, he needed strings, and Cael had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want them, to the point where Zach would never see him as the guy who would give up any and everything if it meant being with him for the rest of their lives. That’s why Cael never should have taken the teasing to the level he had, but seeing Zach’s hard dick standing upright in his pants, he’d been unable to resist what might have been his only chance to ever touch him.

  Cael had never felt so close to having the one person he’d always wanted. Their skin never even touched, but the fact that Zach had let him do it, had given control to him, and had let Cael watch him fall apart as he stroked him, had Cael almost asking afterward if he could kiss him, even knowing it would be pure torture to taste what he could never have.

  Before he could, however, Zach reminded him that he didn’t see him the way Cael wanted him to. That’s when Cael had to leave. He’d reeled in his emotions as fast as he could and left before he ended up doing or saying something he would regret.

  But God, everything about those few minutes on his couch was beautiful and almost perfect. The feel of Zach’s hard length in his hand. The soft moans that became whimpers of desire as he neared his peak. The uninhibited pleasure that overtook his gorgeous face as his orgasm rolled through him.

  Absolutely beautiful.

  And heartbreaking.

  That moment was now the best and worst moment of Cael’s life, because now, it was not only a memory that he would treasure forever but also a reminder of how close he’d come to having what would never be.

  ***

  “I fucking hate hospitals,” Zach griped through the phone.

  “Sorry.” Cael scanned the breakroom vending machine for a somewhat healthy snack, but most had already been purchased, leaving primarily chips and candy. The Cheetos looked good, but Cael opted for the last blueberry almond Greek yogurt bar. He wasn’t crazy about almonds, but it would do in a pinch. “I take it you’re there now.”

  “Yeah.” The exhaustion in Zach’s voice came through loud and clear.

  “Pook, you’ve been going almost every day during lunch and again after work. Maybe you should give yourself a break. You’re wearing yourself out.”

  “I can’t abandon her.”

  “You wouldn’t be, but you can’t burn yourself out either. Taylor needs you, and Abbey’s not going anywhere without you knowing.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Seriously, Zach. No one is going to think less of you if you’re not by her side all the time. Heck, Abbey herself would be on your case. And it’s not like your mom and dad don’t visit as well. Chloe too.”

  Cael heard Zach’s loud sigh through the phone. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “‘Course I’m right, which is why we’re going out this evening.”

  “Who’s we, and where are we going?” The tone of Zach’s voice shifted from reluctant to interrogative and maybe a bit anxious. Zach didn’t like going out much, but Cael knew he needed the break.

  “Chloe in
vited us. You, Taylor, and me. Emma’s back in town for a MoMA exhibit and wanted to get together for dinner before she leaves town.”

  “Oh.” Zach sounded relieved and pleasantly surprised, which made perfect sense.

  Zach had always liked Chloe’s art history mentor and friend, Emma Garrett, and by liked, he meant as a friend. Emma was a couple years older than Zach, decidedly single, and dedicated to her career. Cael had asked Zach once if he was interested in her and his response had pretty much been an immediate scrunch of his lips and shake of his head. When Cael had asked him why, Zach had simply muttered, “She’s just not the one.”

  “Yeah, so, I thought it might be nice to get out for a bit.”

  “Okay.”

  “Cool. So, Chloe wanted to meet up at CK’s at about six. That shouldn’t be too late for Taylor. We ought to be able to get her home and in bed at a decent time still. You good with that?”

  “Works for me. Do you want me and Taylor to just meet you there, or would you rather swing by my house and the three of us go together?”

  “Do you have a preference?” Cael asked.

  “I’d say together.”

  Cael snorted, unable to pass up the opportunity to mess with him. “If you wanted to go on a date, Pook, all you had to do was ask.”

  “Shut up. If we go together, it means at least one of us can drink.”

  “Uh-huh. Whatever you say, man.” Cael teased, unable to stop the wide grin on his face. It would be—could be—kind of like a date. Though Zach wouldn’t want it to be, Cael could pretend a little, maybe get a few laughs out of his best friend, and hopefully cheer him up a little, and it wasn’t often he got Zach out of the house for anything social.

  Cael glanced at his watch, checking the time before his next patient. He had about five minutes.

  “Anyway, I better get going. My next patient will be here in a few. I’ll see you around five.”

  “It’s not a date,” Zach asserted.

  Cael laughed. “We’ll see about that. Later, Pook.”

  Cael hung up before Zach could say anything else. He was already looking forward to the evening. God help him, he wished it could be an actual date. Cael didn’t care that they’d have a toddler with them, not to mention his sister and her friend. All he wished for was a moment in which he could feel like Zach was actually his. A taste of what it would be like if he and Zach were together.

  Cael sighed. Who was he kidding? That wasn’t ever going to happen.

  ***

  With a frenzy of butterflies swarming his stomach, Cael knocked on Zach’s door then let himself in. He shouldn’t be so nervous. He hung out with Zach all the time, even stayed the night on occasion, but there was something different about tonight. Maybe it was because they were going to CK’s—an upscale restaurant in the heart of downtown Denver—which required something other than his usual social gathering attire of T-shirts and grungy jeans. Or maybe it was because he and Zach were going to arrive together, dressed up with a toddler in tow, and people might think they were an actual couple.

  But how would Zach feel about that? He probably wouldn’t care or even notice, as long as Cael kept his emotions under wraps, but even that was getting harder to do lately. Cael couldn’t figure out why that was.

  A high-pitched giggle echoed from down the hallway followed by Zach’s frustrated yet playful voice.

  “Taylor, get back here, you little stinker!”

  Still standing in the foyer, Cael arched a brow just as the little dark-haired, barefoot cutie came running around the corner wearing a black top with ruffles and an adorable pink and black skirt with a poodle print.

  “Cael!” Taylor squealed, trying to run past him.

  Cael laughed and scooped her up as Zach appeared at the end of the hallway. “Hey, munchkin. Just where do you think you’re going?” He looked up and found himself caught off guard.

  Zach wore a white button-down shirt layered beneath a charcoal gray pullover sweater untucked over slim fitting dark blue jeans and a pair of black boots. The hair on his historically clean-shaven face had grown out enough to be a short beard and mustache that were now neatly trimmed and combed. His almost black hair had that intentional slightly spiked, barely messy look.

  Good God. The image took Cael’s breath away.

  It took Cael a second to recover himself, and when he did, he caught Zach staring at him as if he’d done a double-take as well.

  Cael smirked. “Hey, handsome. Need some help getting ready for our date?”

  Zach blinked and rolled his eyes, his lips quirking into a subtle smile.

  “You’re such a dork,” he said, approaching Cael, a tiny pair of white knee-high socks in one hand and two shiny black shoes in the other. “Do me a favor and hold her while I put her shoes and socks on.”

  “You bet.” Cael cradled Taylor in his arms watching Zach as he spent considerable effort slipping on Taylor’s socks and shoes. “Seriously, though, you look good.”

  “Thanks.” Zach looked up at him through thick lashes. “So do you.”

  Zach held his gaze for more than a couple seconds before returning his attention to Taylor’s feet.

  Jesus Christ.

  Cael quietly dislodged his heart from his throat. “We’d better get going soon if we’re going to make it on time.”

  ***

  The hostess led the three of them through the crowded restaurant. Carrying Taylor, Cael followed behind Zach and admired the exposed old red brick of the interior walls. The two-story building was built in the late 1800s and had housed numerous businesses, including a newspaper office. A few years ago, CK’s bought it, restored the historic building to as much of the original architecture as was possible, and opened what had become one of the hottest eateries in the downtown area.

  “There they are.” Chloe beamed as they approached the corner booth. Chloe sat against the wall with Emma on the bench next to her. “Wow. You two clean up nice.”

  “Hey, sis,” Cael said, sitting Taylor in the wooden high chair at the end of the table. “Hi, Emma. You look as beautiful as ever.”

  “Thanks, Cael.” As Cael strapped Taylor in, Emma pushed to her feet. “Hi, Zach. It’s good to see you both again.”

  “Hey.” Zach gave Emma a quick hug then stepped back as Cael did the same. Emma sat back down on thickly padded walnut bench, the cushions striped in wide swaths of deep plum and tan. “Cael’s right. You look great.”

  “Thanks, Zach,” Emma replied.

  “I see how it is,” Chloe jested, amusement shining in her eyes. “You guys don’t pay any attention to me.”

  “Who are you again?” Cael schooled his features into a serious, confused expression.

  “Shut up, you dork.”

  Cael laughed. “You’re always beautiful, sis. Right, Zach?”

  “A gorgeous masterpiece,” Zach said.

  “Aww, thanks, you two. Okay, you can join us now.”

  “So glad we have your permission,” Cael replied, his sarcasm evident. “Slide in,” Cael said, motioning for Zach to sit first.

  “What about Taylor?”

  “You need a break. Let me worry about her.”

  Zach opened his mouth, but Cael leaned in close and whispered in his ear.

  “Don’t argue.”

  Zach froze for a fraction of a second, his eyes slightly widened and focused on Taylor. Cael could have sworn Zach’s breathing deepened a bit but brushed it away as his imagination. After the momentary pause, Zach slid into the bench seat, pushing the diaper bag against the wall. Cael sat down beside him.

  Chloe’s red lips pursed and curved into a devious, knowing grin as she hiked a perfectly-shaped brow, but it was Emma who spoke.

  “Wait.” Emma eyed him and Zach. “So, are you two…?”

  “He wishes,” Zach joked, a wry grin teasing the corners of his mouth.

  “What?” Cael wasn’t expecting Zach to beat him to the punch.

  “Yep. Keeps calling this a date,�
� Zach added. “I think he’s getting desperate.”

  Chloe laughed. “Be careful, Zach. He might get you drunk and take advantage of you.”

  Zach snorted. “I’d like to see him try.”

  “I could arrange that,” Cael teased, though a part of him hoped he could. Zach had let him jerk him off before. Maybe he’d be able to wrangle a kiss out of him.

  God, what was he thinking? Cael couldn’t use his best friend like that. Never mind the simple, obvious fact that Zach wasn’t gay.

  Emma whispered something to Chloe. Chloe nodded, and wide, knowing grins stretched across both their faces. Zach’s elbow bumped Cael’s side, and Cael turned to look at him.

  Zach held out Taylor’s snack bowl full of Apple Jacks. “You want to hand these to her?”

  “Oh, sure.” Cael popped the lid and set the bowl on the table in front of Taylor.

  “You okay?” Zach asked.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “You just suddenly got quiet.”

  “Oh.” Cael shook his head, trying to make sense of his thoughts, but having Zach so close in a setting such as this was proving to be difficult. “No, I’m good.”

  The drink server arrived, delivering drinks that Chloe had apparently ordered prior to their arrival. She knew exactly both his and Zach’s alcoholic preferences. Moscow mule for Zach and rum and coke for Cael.

  Cael took a drink and almost coughed. This place definitely did not skimp on the alcohol or water the drinks down with too much ice. If the drinks were going to be like this tonight, he’d better stop at one so he could drive home. That way, Zach could relax and enjoy the evening.

  “So, Emma,” Cael said, “how’re things going for you lately? Enjoying Manhattan?”

  “Love it.” Emma took a quick sip of blackberry tea. “My job’s wonderful. I’ve got a really cute apartment not too far from the museum and close to Central Park. Plus, with my cousin Heather and her family there, I get to play aunt for her foster kids. Oh, and I’m four months pregnant, but you probably didn’t notice.”

  “Really? Congrats,” Cael said. “So, who’s the lucky guy?”

  “Guys,” Emma replied, trying to hide her smile.