Cael had kissed a lot of guys in his life, but this was the first time he actually worried about what he’d see when he stopped. But, God help him, he didn’t want to stop. He’d never imagined that he would ever kiss his best friend, yet here he was, and it was terrifying and incredible all at once.
Their lips barely touched as Cael slowly rubbed his lips across Zach’s. He nipped tenderly before pulling away ever so slightly. Cael’s fingers skimmed across the light stubble of Zach’s jaw before coming to rest loosely around his neck. Lingering close, his nose alongside Zach’s, their foreheads touching, Cael could barely breathe. Zach hadn’t kissed him back, and now, Zach just stood there, not pushing Cael away, not saying anything. Just stood there, so quiet and painfully close that Cael wondered if Zach could hear the hammering of his heart against his ribcage, or if he could feel Cael’s hands trembling.
“Cael?” he whispered, his warm breath ghosting over Cael’s lips, the smell of honey beer and mint teasing his senses.
Cael gulped. Zach used his first name. This could be good or bad. “Yeah?”
“I don’t do one-night stands.”
“I know.”
“Or friends with benefits.”
“I know.”
“Then why did you kiss me?”
“Because I’ve always wanted to… because I thought…” Deep breath. Just do it. Just tell him. “Because I love you.”
Zach tilted his head back and peered up at Cael. “You do?”
Cael nodded. “Yeah. I do.” Christ, I can’t believe I told him.
“You know I haven’t been with a guy before.”
A low ache burned in Cael’s gut. “I know.”
Cael closed his eyes, waiting for the words he didn’t ever want to hear. That Zach didn’t want him the way he wanted Zach. That he couldn’t be anything more than friends. His chest tightened as he waited for Zach to deal the crushing blow and throw the harsh reality back in his face. Dammit. Chloe was wrong. He shouldn’t have kissed him.
The brush of Zach’s lips against his startled Cael, and his breath caught as his heart crammed itself into his throat.
“But I really fucking want to with you,” Zach whispered against his lips.
His heart stuttered.
Zach could not have said anything more perfect in that moment.
Cael didn’t know what else to do, so he kissed Zach again. This time, however, Zach pulled Cael even closer and kissed him back, and it was like every dream he’d ever had of Zach come to life. Cael wanted nothing more than to inhale him as Zach sucked Cael’s bottom lip into his mouth, doing something with his tongue that melted Cael’s insides entirely and had his rock-hard dick begging for freedom.
Zach’s hands slid down to Cael’s ass. Zach squeezed and ground his hard length against Cael, drawing sounds out of Cael he couldn’t recall ever hearing himself make before. Zach kissing him, his hands skimming and squeezing him, was about the closest Cael had ever felt to absolute joy, because after all these years of wishing, Cael was finally wrapped in the arms of the one man he’d thought he could never have, and now, he was desperate not to let go.
Sappy as hell, but freakin’ true.
Zach softened their kiss, and Cael whimpered a little, not ready for him to stop.
“Holy fuck,” Zach panted softly against his lips.
“No shit.”
Zach pulled his face back a little and looked up at him. “I, uh… fuck. Is this for real?”
“God, I hope so.”
“What do we do now?”
“Whatever you want, Pook. I told you, this is your night.”
Zach’s gaze flickered down to Cael’s lips. “I think I want to kiss you again.”
“Thank God,” Cael breathed, covering Zach’s mouth with his, hungry for more of him.
Cael took him into his arms, squeezing Zach against him. Heat surged through his veins as Zach flicked his tongue over his lips. His hands found his ass again, keeping their groins crushed against each other. Zach rocked his pelvis, and Cael moaned at the delicious friction between them.
Zach slid his hands up Cael’s back, under his shirt, as he pushed his tongue between his lips and deepened their kiss. Whatever hesitation Zach might have had disappeared completely. There was an urgency now in the way Zach kissed him, as if he needed this as much as Cael did. Zach probed his mouth with deep exploring licks, and Cael surrendered to him and the feelings of bone-deep joy Zach gave him.
Still rubbing his denim-clad erection against Cael’s, Zach pushed his hands into Cael’s jeans beneath his briefs, and grabbed hold of skin, digging his fingertips into his ass cheeks. Cael swore he would come in his pants if Zach didn’t stop. Zach teased Cael’s tongue with his, luring Cael back to explore his mouth and when he did, Zach formed a circle with his lips and sucked Cael’s tongue between them. God, I’m so close.
“Shit, Zach… gonna come…”
Cael’s jaw went slack, and he half moaned, half grunted into Zach’s mouth as his dick jerked and pulsed, and Cael shot his load in his underwear, his orgasm ripping through him, shattering his senses. His knees weakened as his release continued to flow out of him, but Zach held him up as Cael braced his hands on the counter on either side of Zach. Zach’s arms locked around him, Cael shuddered against him, spilling into his cotton briefs until finally he was empty and breathless.
As the blood and oxygen slowly worked their way back to his brain, embarrassment took over. Christ, he’d never jetted in his pants before, and had always prided himself in not losing control so easily like some horny teenager that had just discovered what happens when hand meets dick. Cael always outlasted the other guy; not the other way around.
“Fuck, man. That was hot,” Zach whispered heavily in his ear.
Cael’s cheeks heated. “I, uh, don’t usually nut that fast.”
“Fuck, even better.”
Chapter 11
Zach’s lips hovered over Cael’s. His hands still shoved in Cael’s pants, squeezing his bare ass and holding Cael against him, felt fucking amazing. Kissing him, watching him come apart in his arms, had to have been the most incredible, most beautiful thing Zach had ever experienced so far.
“I want more,” Zach whispered, nipping at Cael’s slightly swollen lips.
Zach kissed along his jaw, reveling in the velvety scratch of Cael’s scruff on his lips—something he’d never felt ever before. Cael tipped his head back and groaned, giving Zach full access to his throat. Zach paused at the hollow of Cael’s neck to suck and lick his tender flesh, listening to his breathing hitch. Cael’s pulse thumped hard and fast against his lips. God, he tasted and smelled so fucking good.
“Whatever you want, Pook…”
Cael’s strangled groan reverberated through Zach’s entire body. Zach wanted him. He wanted all of him, in every way possible. He wanted to touch and kiss and lick every inch of his body, inside and out. He wanted to know in its entirety what it felt like to be with a man—this man—whom he’d only recently realized he was in love with and only moments ago learned that Cael loved him too.
“I want it all. I want everything with you.”
Zach’s heart swelled in his chest as his own spoken words brought him clarity and hope, because he did want everything with Cael. His best friend. His partner in crime. Zach didn’t know how he’d overlooked it all these years, but he wanted Cael to be his in every way. Zach wanted to marry him and spend the rest of his life with him, raise a family with him, grow old with him. Literally, everything with him.
But did Cael want any of those things with him?
“I want to taste you,” Cael said, tugging at the button of his jeans and bringing Zach’s mind back to the kitchen. Cael pulled Zach’s zipper down and peeled back the denim, then pushed both his jeans and boxers down enough to free his engorged cock.
Cael kissed him hard as he wrapped his large, warm hand around Zach’s erection.
“Fuck…” Zach moaned into his mouth, his hips
thrusting forward on their own accord into Cael’s fist.
“We’ll save that for later,” Cael promised, tearing his mouth from Zach’s with a gentle tug of his teeth on his bottom lip, before dropping to his knees.
With his hand around the base of Zach’s shaft, Cael looked up at him just as he swirled his tongue around the sensitive, throbbing head. Zach bit his lip and groaned at the unbelievable sensation, bracketing both his hands on the laminate countertop behind him in anticipation of what was to come. Still looking up at Zach, Cael wrapped his lips around his tip and slid his mouth all the way down, taking him to the hilt.
“Oh, fuck…” Zach’s grip on the counter’s edge tightened and his knuckles turned white as he watched Cael suck his cock, sliding his warm, wet mouth up and down his length. Jesus fuck, this was over the top sexy, and already the best blow job he’d ever had.
Cael hummed, sending intense vibrations rippling through him, pushing Zach toward a precipice higher than he’d ever been before. His eyes glazed over, still locked on Cael’s upturned gaze but unfocused.
“Cael… fuck…”
Zach wanted to slide his fingers into Cael’s hair or touch his face, but he feared if he let go of the counter, he’d collapse on already weakened legs, so he kept his firm grip latched where it was, not caring about the rough bottom edge digging into his fingers. The heat swirling inside him intensified with every quickening bob of Cael’s head. Cael slid one hand over Zach’s bare ass, sinking his mouth all the way down again, as he caressed Zach’s balls with his other hand.
Zach wanted to close his eyes and let his head fall back, but something about watching Cael on his knees in front of him like this, gazing up at him, felt too intense and far too intimate from which to look away.
His jaw slack and mouth barely hanging open, Zach breathed hard as uncontrolled grunts and groans escaped him. Cael moved his hand away from his sac and slid a finger into his crack, teasing the skin between his cheeks, touching a part of Zach no one ever had.
Every muscle in Zach’s body tensed. His erection swelled, pressure surging up the shaft, the need to come so painfully urgent. Cael slurped and sucked harder, bringing fucking tears to Zach’s eyes. “Cael… fuck… Cael, I’m gonna come.”
As soon as the words fell out, Cael reached his other hand around to Zach’s ass and grabbed hold of skin, fucking him faster with his mouth, and holy fuck, Cael still looked at him. This was too much. Too intense. And then finally, finally, his orgasm erupted and pleasure detonated in every nerve, shattering every cell, as he came down Cael’s throat. His hips jerked and his dick pulsed as Cael drained every drop from him.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Zach panted, his heart pounding. He’d had no idea just how good that would feel.
Cael stood, resting his hands on Zach’s hips, and pressed a tender kiss to his lips. For a few minutes, there were no words. Cael leaned in close as Zach regained rational thought and his body resumed normal rate of function.
“So,” Cael said, his forehead tilted against Zach’s, yet Zach could see Cael’s lips curve into a smile from the corner of his eye. “You like getting blown by a guy, huh?”
Zach’s laugh came out breathy as he pried his hands from the edge of the countertop and flexed his fingers to alleviate the stiff, burning ache. “I think I like getting blown by you.”
Cael chuckled then quieted. He closed his eyes and planted another sweet kiss on Zach’s lips, lingering close, and took in a deep, trembling breath. Before Zach could ask what was wrong, Cael cupped Zach’s cheek with one hand and kissed him again. His lips and nose smashed against Zach’s as he pushed his tongue into Zach’s mouth and devoured him with a brief but hungry kiss that Zach was all too eager to return.
Cael pulled out of their kiss, and Zach opened his eyes to Cael’s, catching a momentary glimpse of uncertainty that made Zach’s gut clench.
“What’s wrong?” Zach asked.
Cael shook his head, giving him a sheepish look. “Nothing. Just, uh, trying to figure out how to bring up the subject of dinner without sounding like a douche.”
Zach laughed. “You’re such a dork. It’s just me. If you’re hungry, just say something, like you normally do.”
“Yeah, but I’m not usually kissing you.”
“What difference does that make?”
“It makes all the difference when I don’t want to disappoint you.”
Zach snorted, but deep down, his heart skipped again. “I fucking love you. Tell you what. You go clean up, and I’ll order dinner.”
***
As Cael ran upstairs, Zach fixed his pants then hunted for his phone so he could order the pizza. Finding it on the coffee table by the game console, he grabbed it and called in one of their usual orders—extra-large barbeque chicken and pineapple on thin crust. With that taken care of, Zach grabbed the joystick and started a game of Pitfall, mindlessly playing while he waited for Cael. His thoughts immediately went back to him and what happened in the kitchen.
Zach couldn’t remember anyone ever kissing him before the way Cael had. He also couldn’t remember ever feeling this excited over someone before or wanting anyone the way he knew he wanted Cael.
Sure, he’d been with several women in years past. Most of the time though, kissing and even sex had always felt like a mundane chore. With Megan, there had been a little excitement at first, but over time, he’d lost interest in sex. Zach loved spending time with her though, and they got along great, never fighting or anything, so being with her had made sense to him. He really did love her, but now Zach understood what she’d seen. She’d been right. Zach hadn’t been in love with her. The entire time, he’d been in love with Cael.
Zach had been so nervous when he arrived earlier. He’d known he wanted Cael but had no idea if Cael even saw him anything more than a friend. It fucking shocked the hell out of him when Cael kissed him. But then, when Cael told him he loved him, Zach swore his heart had stopped beating for a few seconds.
The soft pounding of fast footsteps on the stairs distracted Zach from his thoughts. He blinked, looking at the TV, and laughed to himself when he realized he’d been staring at Pitfall Harry swinging back and forth on the vine for who knew how long. In the kitchen behind him, the fridge opened and closed.
Cael dropped down beside him with two cold beers. “You left the one on the counter,” he said, “so I assumed you didn’t have one.”
“Thanks.” Leaning back, Zach took a swig. “Pizza should be here in forty.”
“Cool.” Cael stared down at his beer cupped in both hands between his legs. “So, um, can we talk about what happens next?”
The way his voice shook a little as he spoke made Zach worry. Zach’s stomach knotted at his first thought—that Cael couldn’t be in this with him—and it scared the fucking hell out of him. “Uh, yeah. I suppose that makes sense.”
Cael kept his gaze laser-focused on his bottle as he rolled it between his palms. The silence stretched on, and with each passing second, Zach’s heart broke a little and he admonished himself for beginning to hope in the first place.
“Be honest with me, Pook,” he said, ending Zach’s internal reprimand, and the heartache subsided a little from his simple use of his nickname.
Zach stared at the side of Cael’s face, wondering where this conversation was leading. “Yeah?”
“And if you can’t answer me now, I understand, but I need to put this out there. We’ve been friends far too long for me not to.”
“Okay.”
“You’ve always told me how much you wanted to get married and raise a family. I know how important that is to you.”
“Um… yeah.” Tiny tremors took over Zach’s body.
“You’ve also always said you could never just fool around with someone.”
Zach nodded, his pulse racing as his eyes teared up a little. His chest tightened, making it hard to breathe. Fuck, he hoped this wasn’t going where he thought it was going.
“That’s
right,” he choked out the words.
Cael lifted his head toward him, meeting Zach’s strained gaze with his equally worried one. Cael grabbed Zach’s free hand, squeezing it.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is, can you see yourself with a husband instead of a wife? Can you see yourself marrying, I don’t know, me, for example?”
Zach’s brows pinched together, his eyes still locked on Cael’s. He took a deep breath, his tension easing.
“Honestly?” Zach paused for a few seconds, losing himself in the eyes of the one person he’d always known deep down he could never live without. He knew that now. “For the first time I can remember, I’m seeing clearly, and truthfully, I can’t see myself with anyone but you.”
Cael stared back at him as if Zach had spoken the words in another language.
“But I know you don’t want any sort of relationship, let alone to get married,” Zach added, looking away. “So I don’t expect you…” The words died in his throat.
“Zach.” Cael’s soft voice beckoned.
Zach blinked slowly and looked at Cael, waiting, his insides twisting in fucking agony.
“I told you all that because I’ve only ever wanted those things with you. If it couldn’t be you, I didn’t want any of it.”
Zach’s eyes went wide as his heart pole vaulted in his fucking chest. Not the words he ever expected to hear from him, but now, they burned into his memory and Zach knew that even when they were old and gray, those words would be there, reminding him of what he almost missed.
“I want everything with you too, Zach” he continued, shifting his body sideways on the couch to face Zach more directly, only to drop his gaze to their linked hands. “But you’ve always dated girls, so I never thought it would be possible.” Cael took a deep breath, combing his free hand through his hair.
Without a second thought, Zach lifted his hand to his cheek and guided Cael to look at him. After everything Cael said, Zach couldn’t help it that his lips curved into a humorous smile.
Before It's Too Late (Troubled Hearts Book 3) Page 11