Gavin had never taken anything seriously. He certainly hadn’t taken their relationship seriously. He hadn’t been unfaithful to her, but he had broken up with her out of nowhere and had never really given her an explanation as to why he had done so. Then shortly after he had disappeared without a word to anyone. It had made her think that there had always been another woman on his mind, even if he hadn’t gone so far as to actually cheat on her.
She tried not to let her mind drift back to the past as she quickly made her way through the rest of the tables in her section, but it was hard not to. She had often gotten the feeling that something had happened between Gavin and Demi before his unexpected departure, and it had always bothered her. Demi had been more than a little naïve, and had seemed even younger than her age. It bugged the hell out of Acasia to think that Gavin had taken advantage of her. Though it was unlikely to hear her openly admit her adoration, Demi had always looked up to the eldest Black brother in a way that was almost akin to hero worship.
Acasia had been asked one morning to retrieve Demi’s forgotten homework assignment from her bedroom and had stumbled across a picture of Gavin. He was smiling at the person taking the picture in a way that he had never smiled at her. Acasia had always known that Demi had been the one holding the camera and that whatever had happened between them, Gavin had shared something with Demi that he had never shared with her.
So her feelings for Garett were made even more uncomfortable by the nagging voice at the back of her mind that told her she had never gotten over Gavin and that she was just trying to find a suitable substitute. Her mind raced with confusion as she picked up Garett’s food from the window, and she wondered again if it wouldn’t be easier to run away from it all.
Garett’s grin faded when she approached him. “You look like you’ve got storm clouds in those beautiful eyes of yours. I didn’t really upset you did I? If I did, I’m sorry.”
She forced an uneasy laugh. “Don’t flatter yourself Gar. You know I’d never let YOU get to me.”
“Funny Acasia. Seriously, are you okay? I know it sucks to live at home with your mom, but I think it would be preferable to living with mine.” He winked at her.
She could tell that he was trying to lighten the mood, but she wasn’t in the mood to continue with their usual flirting. She made an excuse and quickly excused herself since the restaurant had chosen the perfect time to get busy. She had to stop herself from breathing a sigh of relief as she walked away from him, and cursed herself for how much she was letting him get to her.
It was even more obvious that night when she fell asleep as his face was the last thing she saw in her mind before she closed her eyes. She woke up sweaty, and feeling like her cheeks were on fire as well, having had a vivid dream of making love to Garett. But it had only ended up making her mind even more conflicted since she had called him Gavin in the dream.
She sighed as she got out of bed. She wished again that Gavin had given her some kind of explanation when he had broken it off with her. Then maybe her mind wouldn’t cling so stubbornly to the memory of him, forever wondering if she could have done something differently. She had been so convinced then that he was the one for her, that they would get married and have gorgeous children. Then again she had thought the same of Colton and that certainly hadn’t turned out like she had planned either.
She used the restroom and then took a quick shower, glad that she didn’t have to work that day and that she wouldn’t have to face Garett, but wondering what she was going to do to occupy her time. Her mother would come up with something for them to do together, probably already had, but with as much as Acasia loved her mother, she couldn’t take her mother’s motherliness today. She had too damned much on her mind, and her mother always seemed to know when something was bothering her, whether it was something she wanted to discuss or not.
Her mother was an early riser and she knew that Heather Brown was probably in the kitchen, preparing the “real” breakfast she had always insisted on them eating while growing up, consisting of eggs and toast, sausage or bacon, hash browns and some sort of fruit. The sisters had often joked while growing up that they wished their mother would work outside the home so they would be able to eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast every now and then. But Heather Brown had always been involved in activities outside the home, various women’s clubs, volunteering, PTA, etc. and probably would still have managed to get up at 5:00 in the morning to prepare what she considered a proper breakfast for her family even if she had worked outside the home.
Feeling like a teenager sneaking out for a midnight rendezvous with her boyfriend, and more than a little silly since it was eight o’clock in the morning and she was hardly a teenager, Acasia pondered her window. The girls had been lucky enough to sleep in the basement rather than the second story with their parents, making their windows somewhat easier to escape through; but the windows were small and Acasia’s had been a tight fit for her even then. She figured she had probably gained ten pounds since high school, and while she was grateful that it hadn’t been more, she knew that the added weight certainly wasn’t going to make her chances of slipping out her window any better.
She shook her head at herself and sighed, feeling like an idiot for thinking of climbing out her window. She felt a little bitchy for wanting to avoid her mother, but she was so tense that she figured she was going to buy a pack of cigarettes. She knew that it wouldn’t help her quit, but she’d been so on edge lately that she’d almost pondered the idea of smoking a joint, an idea she hadn’t entertained since her early college days. Suddenly the phone rang upstairs and Acasia found her way out.
She grabbed her shoes and her purse and crept up the stairs, knowing well from experience the spots to avoid. The only phone in the house was in the upstairs hallway so that no one would be tempted to pick it up during dinner. She wasn’t sure why her mother had never added another extension, but she was glad that she was able to avoid her as she slipped out the kitchen door.
She drove to the nearest convenience store, wondering if the clerk was going to call her mother and tell her that she’d bought cigarettes. Sometimes it really sucked living in a small town where everyone always thought they knew your business. She lit a cigarette as she pulled out of the parking lot, wondering what she was going to do with herself. The cigarette tasted like shit, but once the nicotine hit her bloodstream she almost let out a sigh of relief.
She drove to the park, and parked her car, deciding she might as well get some exercise. She wandered around the various trails and equipment, trying not to smoke too much and trying most of all not to think. She didn’t want to think about the fact that she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life. She didn’t like to think about the fact that she wanted Garett either. She realized as she took a seat at a worn picnic table that she was almost directly across the street from Garett’s house and her face lit up like it was on fire.
She hadn’t been thinking when she’d driven to the park that it was near Garett’s house. She shielded her eyes from the glare of the morning sun and looked across to the house. He was the only one of the Black boys that had chosen to carry on in their father’s carpentry and remodeling business, but with the state of his house, you couldn’t tell that he was in the business at all.
He’d purchased the old Collins house and it had been rundown when they were kids. It still looked like it was falling apart, and Acasia had to wonder why Garett had chosen to purchase that particular house when there were more than enough houses in town for sale to choose from that were in much better shape. Once you bought a house in the small town of Clinton, it was hard to resell. There wasn’t much going for the town of roughly 10,000, and many that had grown up there like Acasia grew up dreaming of nothing more than getting as far away from Clinton as possible.
But Garett had always been different though. He’d always loved working with his father and had always seemed like the natural one to take over the business. Acasia shook her he
ad at herself as she lit another cigarette, feeling like a stalker, though in a way she supposed it was pretty funny that her one track mind had led her to stop so close to Garett’s house. She was headed back to her car when she happened to glance over at the house. His truck had appeared in the driveway when she wasn’t looking.
Before she could attempt to hide, he called out to her. “Hello beautiful. Are you stalking me?”
He had crossed the street to her before she could even think of a response. He looked pointedly at the cigarette in her hand. “I thought you’d quit. Didn’t you promise your mama?”
“Don’t lecture me Garett. Why did you buy the old Collins place?”
He looked across the street at the old house, and she could see in his eyes that he saw something differently than what she saw when she looked at it. His eyes shone when he turned back to her. “Have you seen pictures of what the place used to look like? It was gorgeous. The perfect place to raise a family.”
She raised an eyebrow. “A family huh?”
“Cas, don’t tell me that you don’t want that someday.”
She shrugged, trying her best to come off as nonchalant. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her pulse was racing. She was sure it had something to do with the fact that she’d been smoking again, but Garett’s closeness certainly wasn’t helping either.
“I guess. Maybe you’ll have the house fixed up by the time you’re really ready to settle down.”
“It might not look like much, but someday she’s gonna be the beauty that she once was. And I’ll have free advertising for the business too.”
“Yeah.”
“You’ll have to let me show you around one of these days.”
“I’m not that easy Garett.”
“Ha ha Acasia. As if I’d ever think that I could really talk you into my bed. Why do you smoke?”
“It calms me down.”
“And it reeks, makes your teeth yellow, your breath stink, not to mention the fact that it can kill you.”
“I can read the warning labels Gar. Shouldn’t you be getting back to work?”
“Yes, I suppose I should. I’ll miss seeing you at the diner tonight. Seeing you is the best part of my day.”
She forced an eye roll, sure that she was blushing. “Save it for a woman you actually can talk into your bed.”
“Bitch.”
“Guilty as charged I’m afraid. I’ll see you around Garett.”
“Acasia.”
“What?”
He looked at her. She felt for a moment that he was trying to pick apart her brain. His eyes were warm and full of promise. She wanted to reach out to him, but instead she tore her gaze from him and turned away.
“Never mind. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
And he walked away. She forced herself not to turn around until she’d heard his truck start. She lit another cigarette as she walked to her car, wondering how she was going to get herself out of the mess that her life had become.
Garett
Garett Black was in love and it was threatening to drive him crazy. Acasia Brown had always been beautiful, and he’d always appreciated that beauty. After he had given up on catching the eye of Acasia’s sister Demi when they were teenagers, he had turned his attention to Acasia. She had been so depressed when Gavin had broken up with her that he’d known he had to do something.
So he’d talked her into teaching him to French kiss. He’d already known how because his first girlfriend had been older, older than Gavin even, a secret he had managed to keep from everyone. He didn’t think his parents would appreciate the fact that he had lost his virginity at fourteen to an older woman, but he had never looked at it as a bad thing. His body had certainly been ready to do something about his raging hormones.
He had woken up the night Gavin had left town, and had known his brother was leaving. He’d snuck down the hall and seen his brother throwing clothes into a beat up old duffel bag that had once belonged to their father. He’d wanted to beg Gavin to take him with him, but besides the fact that his brother would have obviously refused him, he’d always known that he was the family’s last chance at keeping Black and Sons Carpentry and Remodeling in the family. He couldn’t let his parents down. They had given their boys a good life, and Garett had always felt the need to return the favor in some way.
Gavin had looked strange that night, in a panic almost. Garett had always known that he was running away from something. Gavin had seemed fearless until then, never taking anything seriously. At first Garrett had thought that Gavin was scared of what he felt for Acasia and had broken up with her because he was afraid he would be taken down by a woman.
Garett would always remember his brother boasting that he would never be brought to his knees by a woman. Jay had laughed and made a dirty comment, but Garett had stayed silent, knowing even then that Gavin was afraid to fall in love. He thought that it had something to do with the fact that their parents had almost split up when Gavin was quite young, and no one’s marriage seemed stronger from the outside looking in than his parents’, except maybe Jay and Nikki’s.
It was strange to think that he and Jay might not exist if their parents would have made a permanent split, but his mother had been feeling sentimental one night, he’d been the only one left living at home by then and she had opened up to him about her affair. The news had stunned him, but realizing that his parents were human hadn’t stopped him from wanting to marry and have children himself someday. He knew that even Jay and Nikki had problems now and then, though they’d been together so long and seemed so damned perfect together that he, like everyone else in their families, was sure that Jay and Nikki were the last people you’d ever see in divorce court. They’d recently had a little girl and she was so damned beautiful that even looking at pictures of her made Garett’s heart ache.
Jay didn’t mind admitting that he was sensitive. He looked softer than Gavin and Garett, his facial features more like their mother than their father; and had always been teased about it. But Jay had always been confident in his skin, and Garett was sure that Nikki’s devotion helped. If he’d had a beautiful woman that had loved him since he was thirteen years old, he was sure he’d be pretty damned confident in his manhood too.
While Garett wasn’t much like Gavin in all reality, he sometimes wished he was. Even if his older brother was afraid to fall in love, he still seemed invulnerable. He lived his life the way he wanted without caring what anyone else thought of him. Garett had always been concerned with what people thought of him, especially his father.
His father had been his idol even more than Gavin, and Garett couldn’t imagine a better man than his father to model himself after. Jed Black had fought for the woman that he loved and had won her back successfully. Garett was ready to fight for the woman he loved, but the only person he would be fighting at the moment would be her.
He had no idea how Acasia felt about him. When he thought back to the day he had talked her into French kissing, he thought that something had happened between them that would forever change the way she viewed him. She may have been a little tipsy when they’d kissed, but he had known from the look on her face when she’d pulled away from him that she had enjoyed it. She had looked at him, an almost astonished look on her face, as if she no longer viewed him just as Gavin’s little brother, but as a man himself, or at least a boy on his way to becoming a man.
Kissing Acasia had been amazing. He had imagined over and over again after what making love to her would be like, sure that she would eventually come to him. He’d been so damned nervous the rest of that summer, preparing himself for a life changing moment. He had known that making love to Acasia would change his life even then. But of course she hadn’t come to him, and he’d had to give up on his dreams of being with her after she’d left for college, only returning home during holidays and important events, like when her father had died.
Elden Brown had been a father figure for the Black boys, still a hard man,
but more understanding than Jed Black, and certainly easier to talk to. Garett had confessed both his feelings for Demi and his feelings for Acasia to their father. Elden had always been convinced that his daughters would end up with his old friend’s sons and the idea had never bothered him. He’d seemed to understand Gavin better than almost anyone, and even his youngest daughter’s feelings for Gavin hadn’t bothered him. He had seemed to see the man that Gavin could be, not the one that he chose to be, and he’d had faith in Gavin long after everyone else had already lost it. Garett still missed Elden, and was sure that if anyone could tell him how Acasia felt about him besides her, it would have been her father.
He knew that he was bugging the shit out of Gavin, calling him all the time, trying to dissect every conversation he’d had with Acasia. Gavin seemed convinced that Acasia wanted him too, and wasn’t even trying very successfully to hide it, but Garett still wasn’t sure. Acasia was a mystery to him. Every time he’d been sure that she wanted him too, she’d say or do something that left him wondering again and he’d lose the nerve to ask her out.
Seeing her was the best part of his day. She was so beautiful that he could hardly stand to look at her. He knew that she probably would have preferred him to be taller like Jay or Gavin since she was tall herself and built bigger than her sisters, but he saw the vulnerability in Acasia. He knew that she was strong, but he saw the softness too. He had felt it the day he’d kissed her.
He supposed her inhibitions had been down since she’d been drinking, but she had given herself to him completely that day. She had been his for the brief moments that their mouths had been joined and it had been the best feeling in the world. It had had something to do with his ego back then, knowing that he’d had her since she’d been Gavin’s girlfriend and she was older and so fucking beautiful, but now it told him that really being with her would be even more incredible. He had wondered what it would be like to make love to her for so long that when he finally did he couldn’t imagine how wonderful it would be.
Key To My Heart: Stay Page 2