by Jackie Wang
I’d never get tired of hearing her scream my name as she came.
Never get tired of the way she fisted the sheets and buried her face into her pillow.
She was a goddess—my goddess—and I wanted the whole world to know.
Winnie was mine, and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.
All fucking mine.
Finally mine.
Chapter 8
Winnie
My blaring alarm was the worst sound in the world. Because that meant I had to peel my body away from Dom’s and haul ass to the airport. It was still dark outside, and Dom didn’t have to pick up Nate until much later. He’d offered to drive me to the airport just before we fell asleep the night before, and I didn’t say no.
I shook Dom slightly. God, his chest and torso were solid bricks of muscle. Everything I ever imagined about Dom’s body was true. And more. Things I never could’ve thought up in my wildest fantasies. Like how hung he was. How his leg hair bristled against my smooth thighs. How his steady heartbeat thumped through his chest and managed to reverberate through my skin.
It was so warm in my sheets, I never wanted to get up. It’d been so long since I spent a night without the portable heater on. Dom’s body heat was powerful and his presence so undeniably masculine that I found myself realizing that a man—this man, could be what I was craving all along. What I’d been missing since I left Maine. It was more than just sex, too. The sex was amazing, but what I needed more than a physical connection was an emotional one. Dominic Fieri gave me that. I just wish I’d known all of this before booking my two-week-long vacation. I promised myself that the time would pass quickly, and I’d be back in the blink of an eye. That we’d hop back in bed together before I knew it.
But two weeks halfway across the country was a long time to be away.
And I’d be missing Christmas and New Year’s.
What if by the time I came back, he’d moved on to someone else? What if he’d just been after the sex, nothing more?
I couldn’t let these insecurities nag me though. The old me might’ve been bogged down by these questions, but the new me embraced each day as it came.
Besides, my family needed me, and I missed them so much. I couldn’t wait to see Zane’s face when I surprised him later that night. I’d told my parents that I was visiting, but I wanted it to be a surprise for my brother. I knew he was in a grumpy mood lately, and this would be just the thing he needed to revive his spirits.
I shook Dom again and he grumbled awake. He opened one eye and just stared at me. A suspended wink; a half-grin on his lips. “Time to go already?”
I nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. My flight is in three hours.”
“Let’s get crackin’ then.”
The drive to the airport was slightly awkward. Most of the silence was filled with Billy Crosby songs, seemingly on repeat.
“So, about last night—”
“It’s happening again, as soon as you come back,” Dom said, reading my mind. I guess I couldn’t have been that bad, then. “You’ve…bewitched me, Winnie. Ever since I first saw you out on that field, smiling brighter than the sun. I know we barely know each other, but I’m already falling for you. It’s crazy, yes, but it feels…right…somehow.”
“We’ll have to keep it on the down low, though, until the school year is over,” I reminded Dom. “I don’t want people to talk.”
“I don’t mind if they talk, but if it means that much to you, I’ll keep it a secret.”
“Thank you, Dom.” I was relieved that he understood my situation and didn’t take offense.
“Will you miss me?” he asked, like a teenage boy about to say farewell to his first summer camp crush.
“Of course. And Nate, too,” I said. “I’ll call whenever I can. I’ve got a few friends I want to see, and I want to take Zane out to do a few things. And help out my parents. It’ll be a busy two weeks. Very packed schedule. I’m sure you and Nate will be busy too.”
“But not so busy you’ll forget to call?”
“Never. I’ll try to call at least once a day. Dom, this—” I gestured to him and I, “—This wasn’t a one night stand. I feel something special here too, and I want to explore it further when I get back.”
“Just the words I wanted to hear, Winnie.” Dom pulled up to the airport drop-off, and gave me a deep kiss. “I want you to think about last night every night you’re away from me. I want you to remember who’s aching for you to return back to Dallas.”
“I’ll be counting down the days, Dom,” I said, taking my suitcase out of the backseat. I blushed, remembering what we’d done on those seats the night before.
As I rolled my luggage through the automatic doors, my heart twitched, already wishing I was back in Dom’s arms again.
Chapter 9
Winnie
“Oh, Winnie, you look so thin!” Mom said, pouting. Frown lines creased her forehead, and her crow’s feet deepened.
Of course that was the first thing she’d say. She was always so worried about me. My finances. My relationship status. My health. My reproductive health. She was a worry wort if I ever met one, and somewhat of a hypochondriac too.
“You always say I look thin, even when I was overweight, you said I could still stand to gain a few more pounds.” I laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Where’s Dad?”
“He’s at home, with Zane. Zane had a bit of an…episode…this morning.” More frowns. Didn’t Mom know that frowning aged a person?
“Does he know I’m coming?”
“Not yet. You wanted it to be a surprise, right?”
“Mmhm. Let’s go. I can’t wait to see him. I brought him a little gift from Dallas.”
“You shouldn’t have. You flying back home is the best gift he could wish for. He talks about you all the damn time.”
“You know I’d visit more often if—”
“Of course, honey. We understand.”
“How’s Dad?” I asked, hopping into Mom’s pickup. “I haven’t spoken to him since…Halloween.” My dad was a huge fan of Halloween. He was one of those dads who dressed up as Dracula and sat immobile on the front lawn, pretending he was a prop. Then, when the kids came by, he’d spring up and scare the shit out of them. Zane and I used to film those pranks and post them on YouTube back when I still lived at home. I wondered if Zane still streamed his gaming videos.
“Dad’s good. Same old. His gout is giving him a bit of trouble again, but other than that, it’s all good.”
“And your arthritis?” I asked. It was ironic how I hated Mom worrying about me, but I did the same thing to her.
“Now who’s the worry wort?” Mom asked with a grin. She started the engine of her white Ford truck and pulled away from the airport pickup lane. “My hands are fine. The meds help a lot.”
Ever since she was diagnosed five years ago, I constantly worried about mom’s condition. She worked in a factory, and her job was very hands-on. If the arthritis got too bad, she’d lose her job, and lose whatever little income they had left. Dad had to quit his sales job a long time ago due to the bad gout in his left leg. His condition made it hard for him to walk without assistance.
Sometimes I felt bad that I didn’t make more money. That I couldn’t provide for my entire family, make it so my mom no longer had to work at her dead-end job. But I also knew that it wasn’t realistic to expect me to become the breadwinner. No one could’ve foreseen the tragedy that devastated our lives. We all thought Zane would go far in his career, maybe even get promoted to Chief one day. He’d been so ambitious, such a big dreamer and forward thinker. But the accident that left him disfigured also stole all the love and zest he had for life. And it’d been an uphill battle ever since trying to get the old Zane back.
We pulled up to my parents’ one-storey bungalow half an hour later. The weather in Maine was a lot colder than Dallas, and I’d forgotten how deep the chill could be, how it penetrated bones and chapped skin. My parent’s home s
till looked the same as it did when I was growing up. The paint was perpetually peeling. The shriveled bushes beyond saving. It never looked worse, but never better, either. Just like my parent’s situation: it was bad, but it could’ve been worse. Zane could’ve died. Things could’ve been better, too. He could’ve thrived post-op instead of withdrawing into himself and shutting out everyone who cared about him.
None of that mattered, though, because I was back home and Zane would be so happy to see me. I’d put a smile back on his face, maybe encourage him to get a job, even if it was based from home. Telecommuting was very popular these days, and he had a passion for computers. He had programming skills that were potentially very valuable in the workforce. He just needed to cheer up and get his confidence back. I was sure he’d welcome my surprise visit; that he’d be thrilled I was back.
Except he wasn’t.
When I walked through the door, he eyed me with a look that bordered hatred.
“What are you doing here?” he barked. “Come to throw more pity money in my face?”
“Zane, that’s no way to speak to your sister!” Dad cried, gripping Zane’s wrist tight.
Zane looked like he wanted to launch out of his wheelchair and throttle me. What the hell had gotten into him? We’d spoken on the phone just ten days ago, and he’d been fine. Happy, even. Now he looked like he wanted to slit my throat. Venom dripped from every inch of his damaged skin and practically oozed from his tongue.
“Zane, whatever it is you’re going through, I understand. Hey, aren’t you going to welcome me home?” Despite feeling exhausted from the long flight, I mustered up a big smile.
Zane twisted away from me, facing the wall instead.
“He’s having a tantrum,” Dad said. He stood up and embraced me with a big hug. “He’ll snap out of it soon. Welcome home, baby.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Why don’t you take a shower and have a nap?” Mom suggested. “I’ve cleaned your room and put on new sheets.”
“Thanks, Mom. I think I will.”
As I rolled my suitcase to my room, each step seemed heavier and heavier. I knew Zane was prone to temper tantrums, but it still hurt that he would lash out at me that way. Pity money? Was that what he thought of my contributions? I didn’t do it because I pitied my parents, or him. I did it because it was my way of thanking them for raising me. It was me doing my daughterly part in helping out my family in their time of need. But Zane obviously saw it as something completely different.
Mom appeared at my doorway with a warm mug of coffee. “Hey, sweetie, don’t take it personally. He’s having a rough time. His ex-girlfriend just got engaged to his best friend.”
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah.”
“They’re planning to elope to Vegas, and asked if he wanted to come. He was devastated.” Mom handed me the coffee. “He just about broke the landline.”
“What a bunch of thoughtless idiots,” I grumbled. “Didn’t they realize how much this news would hurt him? Don’t they know he’s been depressed? Borderline suicidal?” Some people didn’t have a single sensitive bone in their body.
“Apparently they thought he’d be happy for them.”
“Bullshit. They just wanted to appease their own consciences. They didn’t want him to find out through the grapevine down the road.”
“Yeah, or that.” Mom shrugged. “Anyway, don’t let what Zane said get to you. He’ll come around.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine, Mom. Don’t need to worry about me.”
Mom stroked my cheek, her own slightly wet from tears. “I’m so glad you’re home for the holidays. We missed you so much, honey.”
“I missed you guys too. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbow in Dallas. It’s been a stressful few months,” I admitted. “Teaching is a lot harder than it looks.”
“Tell me all about it over dinner, sweetie.”
That night, Mom made my favorite meal: spaghetti and meatballs, and I caught them up on my life in Dallas. Then, I helped her clean the kitchen, before scampering back to my room right away to call Dominic. I hadn’t expected to miss him so much so soon, but after Zane’s spiteful words earlier, I needed to hear some comforting ones. And Dom was really good at making me feel good. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. He knew exactly what to say and do to lift me up.
“Hey, I thought you’d be so busy catching up with your family that you’d forget about us,” Dom said in a half-whisper.
“Why are you whispering?”
“Just put Nate to sleep.”
“And?”
“I dunno, I guess I’m used to whispering after Nate goes to bed.” Dom changed the topic. “So, was your brother surprised?”
“Ugh, it was awful. He wasn’t happy at all. In fact, he was downright cranky. I don’t blame him though.”
“Why was he cranky?”
“His ex is eloping with his best friend.”
“Ouch.”
“And they invited him to the wedding.”
“Double ouch.”
“Right?”
“Idiots.”
“My thoughts exactly,” I said. “So when he saw me earlier, he lashed out. But that’s okay. I’m sure I’ll be able to cheer him up soon. How are you doing? And Nate?”
“Nate misses you already. He wished he could’ve come along to drop you off at the airport.”
“Aw, poor kid. I’ll see him soon.”
“And his dad missed you more than he’d like to admit.”
I grinned from ear to ear. “It’s only been twelve hours.”
“Twelve unbearably long hours since I held you in my arms.”
“Oh God, you’re making me gain weight with all this cheesy talk.”
“Good, you could use some fattening up,” Dom teased.
“You sound just like my mother.”
“She’s a wise woman.”
“You’d like her, I think,” I said. “And she’d love you.”
“Does she know about me?”
“Not yet. The mood was kind of sombre today. Didn’t seem right to start talking about you when Zane was moping over his ex.”
“Makes sense. So, what are you planning to do tomorrow?”
“Well, I was going to take Zane for a drive, but I’ll see how he feels. I was going to take him around to some of our favorite haunts.”
“That’s a good idea.”
“And you? What’s the plan for you and Nate this winter break?”
“I signed him up for winter day camp. Since I work twenty-four hours on and twenty-four off, it can be a bit tricky to coordinate schedules sometimes. Luckily my parents are retired and they help out a lot. Can’t say no to free babysitting.”
“Yeah, they are such great people,” I agreed. “Really friendly and generous.”
“To think, you thought they were monsters. You were scared to go over for dinner.”
“Not scared,” I defended myself. “Just nervous. I’d never met anyone’s parents before.”
“Not even any of your ex-boyfriends’ parents?”
“Nope.”
“Lucky me.”
“Well, you kinda jumped the gun, didn’t you? Never gave me much of a choice.”
“Nope. I forced you to go against your will and you enjoyed it. Win-win.”
A beat.
“I miss you, Dominic Fieri.”
“I miss you more, Winnie Williams. Will I be the last thing you think about before you fall asleep?”
“Maybe. Who knows. I could be thinking about a million things.”
“They say whoever you think about last before you fall asleep is the one you care about most.”
“Who says that?”
“Cosmo magazine.”
I let out a loud bark of laughter, then cupped my mouth. “When did you read Cosmo?”
“Waiting room of Nate’s dentist last week.”
“I see. Did you learn some tips for how to please your man in bed, too?”
“I did. It was an eye-opener.”
“I’ll bet. But at least now you know what to do.”
It was Dom’s turn to laugh. “God I can’t wait to get you into my bed. No offence, but sharing that hard, creaky bed of yours was not too much fun. You need a new one, babe.”
“Are you going to buy me one?” I teased. “Beds don’t fall from the sky.”
“I’ve got an even better idea. You could just sleep over at my place more often. I’m sure Nate wouldn’t mind. He worships you.”
“Let’s not get too carried away. Take things one day at a time, okay?”
“I bet you’ll change your tune by the time you’re back in Dallas. You’ll miss me and my cock so much you’ll be jumping all over me.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“If it is, you’d lose.”
“Game on, slugger.”
“Always ready to play, baby girl.”
“I’m pretty tired. Call you tomorrow?”
“Okay. Sleep well and remember to dream about me.”
“I’ll try my best.”
“I know I’ll be dreaming about you…” Dom said, “and your pretty…pink…pussy.”
“You dirty old man.”
“You sexy young thing.”
“Night.”
“Night.”
Chapter 10
Dominic
The first three days were the hardest. I never saw Winnie that often when she was in Dallas, but somehow the days stretched when she was in Maine. Twenty-four hours might as well have been twenty-four days when she was away. To pass the time, I buried myself in work, and took Nate out as often as I could. We attended Christmas parades, holiday parties hosted by my colleagues, and my parents dragged me around the city to various charity events.
I missed Winnie the most on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, even though we spoke to each other on the phone for two hours each day. About practically nothing. Somehow we managed to talk to one another until either her cellphone batteries died or I had to get back to work. Even when we ran out of things to say, we stayed on the line, preferring to listen to one another’s breathing over hanging up the phone first.