I’ve drawn up a list of internal speakers and have had a coup in getting Tom Peters. I felt he hit a stale patch a couple of years back, but his Re-imagine! Stuff is extraordinary!
Bestest Martin
From: Martin Lukes
To: Jenny Withers
Darling—I have personally argued the case for you to give a plenary address at our conference on Storytelling—this is going to be a mega opportunity for you to make your name.
In return, why don’t you come out for the weekend—Cindy is giving a brunch for me, and it’d give you the chance to get to know Barry and Randee?
Martin
PS Give my love to the boys and tell Max I’ll get him a top of the range iPod for his b’day.
From: Martin Lukes
To: Jenny Withers
I have been trying so incredibly hard to be nice to you. In return you are cold and sarcastic. If I wasn’t such a basically decent guy I would can your speech.
Martin
From: Martin Lukes
To: Keri Tartt
Hi Pinky darling
Sorry I haven’t e-mailed for a day or two. The pace is crazy here! Haven’t had time to job hunt for you properly, but I’ve got an idea. Why not come out for a long weekend next weekend?
Love Perky xx
OCTOBER 27
From: Martin Lukes
To: Cindy Czarnikow
Hi Cindy
Much looking forward to Sunday. What’s your address? Unfortunately Jens isn’t going to be able to make it. A young former colleague of mine might be passing through Atlanta, so I might bring her.
Martin
From: Martin Lukes
To: Graham Wallace
Hi Graham—Big article in NY Times about Barry’s affair with Janine, implying that his Number 7 position in Fortune rankings was a stitch-up, and that Randee is going to take him to the cleaners.
I told you something was up.
M
OCTOBER 28
From: Martin Lukes
To: Barry Malone
Hi Barry
First up can I offer my sincere condolences at all this recent publicity. I strongly believe that your private life concerns only your good self (and Randee and Janine, of course!). I know you to be a man of the highest integrity, and if these stories persist, I suggest we retaliate with stories about all your charity work.
On a more personal level, can I say how strongly I empathize with your position, being personally embroiled in something similar myself!
Bestest, Martin
OCTOBER 31
From: Martin Lukes
To: Keri Tartt
Dearest Pinky
Did you get back home safely? I realize the weekend was a bit difficult for us both, and sorry if I was a tad distracted.
Perky
From: Martin Lukes
To: Keri Tartt
Pinky—yes of course I want us to carry on! I do love you a lot Pinky. I just need a bit of space at the moment. Sorry I didn’t tell Cindy and everyone that we were an item. I was waiting for the right time. But then you got so pissed … it was all highly unfortunate.
P
From: Martin Lukes
To: Keri Tartt
Keri—please don’t! Please give me another chance … I really don’t see why we can’t carry on … you’ve totally got the wrong end of the stick in thinking that this is just a sex thing for me. Obviously the corporal appreciates you (!!) but I really love you as a holistic person. Going back to Kiwiland is way too extreme.
From your busy but very loving Porky
From: Martin Lukes
To: Barry Malone
Do you ever think women are more trouble than they’re worth?
From: Martin Lukes
To: Barry Malone
No, I don’t either! I agree they are beautiful too—some more than others!! And yes, I’m getting on with the synopsis for the One Family! conference, which I’ll have with you shortly!
Bestest Martin
From: Martin Lukes
To: Jenny Withers
Dear Jenny
When we talked on the phone just now, I felt that you had no interest in hearing my side of the story. So I have decided to write this e-mail to share my feelings with you. You say you want a divorce, and if that is what you want, I’m not going to stand in your way.
However I think that before we go down that road, you should think about what this would do to the boys. You should also meditate on where you are now, and how you got there.
You seem to think that somehow I’m in the wrong. But it does take two. Deep down, I think you know that.
As I have decided to be totally honest, I should also say how angry I am with you. Relationships are hard work, Jens, and it deeply saddens me that you are not prepared to put that work in. I’ve been thinking outside the square on this one, and it seems to me that marriage involves give and take. And frankly at the moment you only seem interested in taking.
I made a mistake. Not only have I put my hand up and said sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I have also grown from my mistake. I have a saying that has helped me a lot in the past 10 months: No failure, only feedback. Neither of us has failed. We need to concentrate on the learnings out of this, and see if we can grow as people from them.
I have also decided that there is no place for Keri in my life. I doubt if she and I will ever speak to each other again. It never meant anything, Jens. She was my midlife crisis, if you will, and I’m now ready to move onto the next level.
No need to reply at once. I want you to read this message and think deeply about it. Read it again. Sleep on it. And then tell me—are you prepared to walk the extra mile?
Jens—I’ve talked the talk. But now I am going to walk the walk. You must believe me.
Your husband
Martin
From: Martin Lukes
To: Pandora@CoachworX!
Pandora
A lot has happened in the last two weeks that I should debrief you on. Basically, first and foremost, the job is all I wanted and more. Totally pivotal, totally powerful, and Barry and I make a perfect partnership. I’m the Yin to his Yang, if you will.
I’ve got the Aston Martin DB9! Since I put one in that scrapbook, and focused on how much I really did want one, it’s come true. (Or rather, it will come true when the guys at the AM factory move their lazy arses and make it for me!)
I think the car will be well aligned with my leadership brand … Already Barry sees me very much as the Brit maverick. The DB9 is the perfect car for that.
On the domestic front, you’d be very proud of me—I have sent Jens a long e-mail putting down all my feelings, and encouraging her to challenge her own. No reply as yet, but I told her to take her time.
22.5 percent better than my bestest
Martin
11
NOVEMBER
My Relationships
NOVEMBER 1
From: Barry Malone
To: All Staff
Howdy!
Next week our 300 most senior leaders will assemble in the beautiful location of Paradise Island for this company’s 16th annual management conference.
This year is going to be uniquely special. For the first time we are gathering under our new a-b glöbâl identity, united as One Global Family with One Prayer, One Misson and One Set of Behaviors. It is the first year that we have committed to our goal of Phenomenal Performance Permanently.
We have traveled a very long way in the past year. We have a lot to celebrate.
If I had one wish, it would be that all of our 30,000 leaders could join hands and celebrate together. And so for the first time I have arranged to have my plenary address at Paradise Island beamed by satellite to every location globally, so that we will all be able to share the moment and rejoice together.
I have tasked Martin Lukes and Cindy Czarnikow with sending out a schedule for the conference. Please reach out to them or to me if there are any issues,
any questions or any thoughts to share!
I love you all
Barry
From: Pandora@CoachworX!
To: Martin Lukes
Hi Martin—
It is Month Eleven, and you are ready to binge on life!
There is one more thing to do first. You need to think about your relationships with other people and ask yourself: are my relationships aligned with New Me? If not, it may be time to let them go.
In essence there are three sorts of relationship—
The energy draining relationship—you do not want these people in your life!
The energy dependent relationship—there is balance here but it’s not extraordinary.
The energy exchange relationship—this works like a rocket, where the other person’s energy will help catapult you to being better than your best. You must make some choices, Martin. I want you to be really honest and think of your relationships. Which ones drain you, and which ones blast you into space like a rocket?
Strive and thrive!
Pandora
From: Martin Lukes
To: Pandora@CoachworX!
Hi Pandora
Will analyze relationships soonest. Am feeling a tad below par this morning—I am having issues around sleep. Basically I go to sleep fine—a couple of glasses of whiskey do the trick—and then wake up around 3am and can’t get back. Went to the doctor last week who gave me some pills, but they don’t make much difference, so I’m going back today for something stronger.
Maybe my body is just adapting to my turbocharged lifestyle. Margaret Thatcher was also on the go 24/7/365 and she only slept four hours a night. And she thrived on it!
22.5 percent better than my very bestest
Martin
From: Pandora@CoachworX!
To: Martin Lukes
Hi Martin
Alcohol and drugs are a no-no!! When you have true self belief, you do not need crutches that give you a chemical high. Your brain is a powerful tool, Martin. You should be able to use it to make you feel deep profound relaxation. Before you go to bed, dim the lights, sit on the side of your bed and close your eyes. I want you to imagine a sword of white light slowly penetrating your body from the top of your head, running down to the base of your spine. I want you to start chanting your core values to yourself, over and over again, until you feel a deep sense of peace and well being and are ready to lie down and to sleep.
Strive and thrive!
Pandora
NOVEMBER 2
From: Martin Lukes
To: Keri Tartt
Pinky—I do wish you wouldn’t sulk—I have enough of that with the wife. Please send me a message and tell me when you’re going to come and see Perky. He misses you.
xxxx
NOVEMBER 3
From: Martin Lukes
To: Pandora@CoachworX!
Hi Pandora
Alas, still no sleep. I did try the white sword but nothing doing. I know you don’t like them, but the new pills the doctor gave me are brilliant.
Re relationships—hard one, this. Off the top of my head, I’d say my relationship with Barry is definitely a rocket. We both give the other something—together we are much stronger than apart. My mum is probably a rocket too. With her I feel I can go to the top. Pandora, although we’ve never shared face time, I’d say my relationship with you has some rocket-like qualities too!! I hate to say it, but Jens does definitely sap my energy. But then she is my wife, so maybe that’s different.
I think Keri is energy dependent. In the past I thought she might be a rocket, but now I’m not so sure.
It’s all food for thought … must get on with the speech now.
22.5 percent better than my very bestest
Martin
NOVEMBER 4
From: Martin Lukes
To: Barry Malone
Hi Barry, I’ve drafted your speech. I’ve made it as inclusive as I can, and I’ve put integrity center stage. Hope you like it!
Bestest Martin
From: Martin Lukes
To: Barry Malone
Hi Barry
Thanks for the honest feedback! I agree 230 percent. I’ll give it more thought and come back to you, soonest.
Martin
From: Faith Preston
To: All Staff
Hi—Keri Tartt is leaving our shores for NZ at the end of the week. If anyone would like to sign her card and contribute to her gift—it’s on my desk.
Cheers, Faith
From: Martin Lukes
To: Keri Tartt
Keri—Frankly, I am surprised that I get to hear through Faith that you have decided to leave. You and I have always communicated very openly with each other, and so I thought you would have the decency to tell me yourself.
However, it’s all probably for the best, and I hope that we can remain friends.
My best
Martin
From: Martin Lukes
To: Keri Tartt
I don’t get it, Keri. I send you an extremely nice message, and you accuse me of being a cold selfish bastard only interested in myself … blah, blah. Two can play at that game—I actually think it was extremely selfish of you to end our affair because you didn’t think I was paying you enough attention. If you hadn’t been so wrapped up in yourself you would have noticed that I have been given the job of a lifetime which is very stressful and is more than a 24/7 commitment. Frankly our relationship was an energy exchange—you didn’t enhance my energy levels, and if I’m going to be totally honest, I should say I deserve a lot more.
Martin
From: Keri Tartt
To: All Staff
Hiya!
Thanx 2 everyone for the gr8 card and the generous M&S vouchers!!! I’m going to have loadsa fun spending them! It’s been so cool working with ya! I’ll take many happy memories back to NZ with me! And if u r ever in NZ come and c me!!
Cheers
Keri
NOVEMBER 7
From: Martin Lukes
To: Barry Malone
Hi Barry
I’ve re-dreamt your speech, and this time I hope you’ll agree it’s sensational!
My Big Idea is to set up your address like a pop concert. There will be a flashing strobe and the Sister Sledge song “We Are Family” will be playing very loudly. I shout over the PA—“THE GUY YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR … BARRY MALONE!!” and you come running onto the stage and the crowd then gets up and whoops.
You march up and down on the stage shouting I LOVE THIS COMPANY! WE ARE ONE FAMILY!! I’ll get the crowd cheering, and then you ask: What are we? We’ll shout back: ONE FAMILY!! You’ll say: WE ARE UNITED BY INTEGRITY. WHAT ARE WE UNITED BY? We will shout back: INTEGRITY!!!
This will get everyone on their feet, and get the conference off to an exceptionally high-octane start.
If you think this is the way to go (and I hope you will!!) then I’ll draft the rest of it tonight.
Bestest
Martin
From: Martin Lukes
To: Barry Malone
Hi—Thrilled you love it!! I am totally pleased with it myself! Will have the rest of the address with you soonest!
Martin
PS Brunch on Sunday would be great. It’s a bit lonely for me here with no family, so I much appreciate the hospitality!
Martin
NOVEMBER 8
From: Martin Lukes
To: Barry Malone
Hi Barry
Thank you for an energizing day! Can I congratulate you on the charm and beauty of your daughter? I’d lock her up if I were you! Also congratulations on having found in Janine a woman who not only cooks the perfect eggs benedict but plays such excellent golf!
Martin
From: Martin Lukes
To: Graham Wallace
Hi Graham
Went over to BSM’s house again yesterday. Randee not there this time. Janine was there instead … v friendly to yours truly. Actually I’ve changed my min
d on her—she’s very bright, and we had some good intellectual discussions! Afterwards we played a four-ball with a gorgeous daughter, who is 15 but looks 25. I played pretty well.
Barry has just bought a painting for $2.5m that he says is worth twice as much. Not sure how he managed that … and when I asked, he went all funny. Most of the time I know exactly what Barry’s thinking, but sometimes he plays his cards v close to his chest.
Cheers, Mart
PS What’s the London gossip? Feeling a tad out of the loop.
From: Martin Lukes
To: Phyllis Lukes
Dearest Mum
So sorry not to have been in touch for yonks. Everything going mad here. Thanks for your message. Glad you went to have Sunday lunch with Jens and the boys.
Try not to worry too much about Jake—teenage boys always look pale and thin—they don’t get out in the fresh air that much …
You didn’t say anything about Jens. Did she mention the D word? She seems to have stopped talking about divorce, though if I’m totally honest, she’s stopped talking about anything at all. Her coping strategy is to bury herself in her work—which worries me as it isn’t the best thing for the boys.
Did I tell you that it’s over with Keri? At the end of the day she decided she wanted something more serious than I was prepared to give at the present moment in time—I was upset for a bit, but then I figured that the two of us didn’t have a lot in common—but I think you worked that out for yourself!
Who Moved My Blackberry? Page 20