by Rosanna Leo
“A bit of this. A bit of that.”
“That doesn’t sound mysterious at all.”
“I’m not trying to be mysterious. I just don’t want to think about work right now.”
“I understand.” The bartender returned and set down a glass. She paid him right away. There was no sense in starting a tab. She could only tolerate one drink anyway. “And luckily, I’m not concerned about the vintage tonight.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
As blondie appraised her, she took her first sip. It tasted like piss, or so she assumed. Frowning, she set her glass down. “I think that might be the worst wine I’ve ever tasted.” Despite the unpleasant aftertaste, Dana sipped some more. “Yup. It’s official. They should put that on the label as a warning.”
“Now you know.” He spun around and wrapped his hand around his glass.
“Okay, Mr. Sommelier. What are you drinking?”
“Just a Coke. It’s kind of hard to screw it up.”
“I’ll make note of that for next time.”
“You do that.”
They both stared at the mirrored bar for a couple of minutes, lost in their separate worlds and woes. Eventually, his eyes met hers in the mirror, one lost soul seeking communion with another. A glimmer of interest made his light eyes shine, but it was quickly doused when he blinked.
Feeling alone, she decided to make conversation. “I’m Dana, by the way.” She held out her hand.
He shook her hand. “Alex.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Alex.”
“The pleasure’s all mine.”
When he let go of her hand, his fingers slid against her palm in the faintest of caresses. His touch was light and oddly familiar. She’d been in situations where strange men had held her hand a little too long during introductions and it always made her feel awkward. Not this time. Alex’s touch was gentle and respectful, despite feeling somehow intimate.
He ran his hand through his hair and looked up at her from under his lashes.
Something about those eyes seemed familiar. “Have we met before? I feel like I should know you from somewhere.”
“I don’t think so. I never forget a face, and I definitely would have remembered yours.”
Hmm. If he didn’t look so lonely, she would have sworn that was a pickup line.
She searched her brain, trying to place his face. He wasn’t one of her clients. “You sure do look familiar.”
“I guess I just have one of those faces.”
And what a face it was. If a marketing executive put his cheekbones alone on the front of a men’s magazine, they’d sell millions.
He drank some of his Coke and then picked up a swizzle stick. The green plastic stick was in the shape of a curvaceous hula lady. Alex shook his head and sighed. He stuck the swizzle stick in his glass, swirled it around and let it go, making the hula lady dance.
“So. What brings you here tonight? I know it’s not the wine.”
The slight compression of his lips was meant to pass for a smile. “I’m celebrating, actually.”
“Really? No offense, but this doesn’t look like much of a party.”
“I guess it’s more of a private affair. I just moved to Vegas.”
“Congratulations on the move. What brought you to Sin City?”
“Business. It’s also a chance to start a new life.”
“I see.” Dana dared to take another sip. The wine wasn’t as offensive this time around. “You didn’t like the old life?”
“All in all, I can’t complain, but I made mistakes. Handled some things badly.”
“Don’t feel too guilty. We’ve all been there.”
“Have you?”
“Oh, yeah. Don’t be fooled by the image of perfection you see here, drinking alone in a cheesy tiki bar.”
“You’re not drinking alone anymore.”
“I guess not.”
“Tell me something, Dana. Do you have any regrets in life?”
“That’s a loaded question.”
“It’s that kind of night, I guess.”
“It’s safe to say I have some regrets.”
“Big ones?”
“Sure. We can’t let them shape us, though.”
“Wise words. You’re a smart woman.”
“I don’t know about that.” She tossed her head. “What about you? I’m guessing you have some regrets.”
“Like I said, you’re a smart woman.”
His reply made it clear he wasn’t willing to do a deep dive into his motivations with a stranger. She couldn’t blame him. She wasn’t looking to make friends tonight either.
What am I looking for? She wasn’t sure, but she was starting to wonder if it might be wrapped in a tall, tawny package.
Other than losing herself in a glass of wine, she hadn’t really planned ahead. Mostly, she just wanted to forget.
“So,” he said. “What brings you to Joe’s Tiki Bar?”
“I guess you could say I’m starting a new life too.”
Alex slid off his bar stool and moved over to the one next to her. His new proximity made her inhale in anticipation. “How so?”
“Do you want the true story? It’s very sad.”
“I can take it.”
“I was dumped by my fiancé just a few hours ago.”
He had been about to take another sip of his drink but put the glass down. “I’m sorry. Here I am, moaning about my situation, and you’ve had a truly shitty day.”
“It’s okay, but thanks.”
“Wait. Please tell me you didn’t come to Vegas to get married and he bailed.”
“No, we both live here. Now that you mention it, I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t ditch me at the altar. Knowing what I know now, that could have been a distinct possibility.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah. You’re the first one to hear the news.”
“Don’t you have anyone you can talk to?”
“Oh, I have family and friends. I’m just not ready to let them know. My parents are all over this wedding and they think Tommy is the Second Coming. My sister lives out of town and she’s going through a divorce right now. I don’t want to upset her. Besides, she and I have a prickly relationship. We’re very different. And anyway, sometimes it’s just easier talking to a stranger.” She raised her wine glass.
“I get it.” He clinked his glass against hers and they drank.
Once again, their gazes met, this time over the tops of their glasses. Alex’s eyes narrowed in appreciation.
Nah. The cheap wine must be affecting her vision.
“Your ex-fiancé, his name is Tommy?”
“Yes.”
“Tommy is a fool.”
“Aren’t you sweet? I might need to call you the next time I need a pep talk.”
“You can call me any time you like.”
“Well, well. Sweet and agreeable.”
“Not at all. I just have excellent taste.”
She smiled. “Right. The wine. I should have guessed.”
“I wasn’t talking about the wine.” When her face heated up with what must have been the mother of all blushes, he took pity on her and averted his gaze. “Do you mind me asking why he ended it?”
Momentarily distracted by the gorgeous man one bar stool over, she’d almost forgotten she’d started her day in Dr. Batra’s office. Once again, the doctor’s words came back to haunt her.
I would advise you to seek counseling right away. Most women in your position experience a period of grief. I can refer you to a therapist.
“Actually, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fair enough. How about I just buy you another drink?”
“I’m good. Three sips of this stuff is enough, thanks. I have a lot to think about and I need to keep a clear head.”
Alex stirred his Coke again, seemingly fascinated by the whorls made by the stir stick. Dana watched the movements of his wrist until her eyes began
to glaze over. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, but that was fine. Something about his presence soothed her. She wasn’t sure whether it was because a gorgeous man of mystery was taking an interest in her or because they both had shit on their minds. Either way, her burden seemed lessened.
Unable to finish her wine, she pushed the glass away. The evening opened up before her like a chasm. She didn’t want to go home, where everything would remind her of Tommy and the dreams they used to share. She didn’t want to call her sister, Anise, either. Besides she’d be seeing Anise soon enough.
Once her divorce was finalized, Anise had announced her intention to come to Vegas with some friends to see Dana. She wanted to commemorate her newfound freedom. When she had first mentioned the idea of a week-long divorce party in Las Vegas, Dana had almost spit up her lunch. However, as an account manager for the Las Vegas Convention and Visitor Association, she knew people visited the Strip for all sorts of reasons. If one could hold a stag party here, why not a divorce party? In fact, divorce parties were big business. Just last week, the papers had been buzzing with the exploits of a certain soap opera actress as she hit the town to celebrate the destruction of her marriage.
Dana had just never expected her big sister to buy into the hype. Personally, she thought it was tacky.
However, if that was what Anise wanted, Dana would give it to her. It was the least she could do. The sisters might not always see eye to eye, but Dana’s heart went out to Anise and her ex-husband.
Thanks to her connections in the tourism world, Dana had been able to arrange a week-long extravaganza at Vice, the best hotel on the Strip. Anise was so excited to stay in the famous casino hotel.
How was she supposed to host a divorce party now? She was meant to be the ringleader, showing off the best of Vegas to Anise and her friends, Bea and Jessica.
Instead, all she wanted was to crawl into a hole.
Or maybe stay right here, quietly drinking next to Alex.
“So,” he said, “would you like me to badmouth Tommy some more?”
“You could.”
“Because I can invent all sorts of interesting crap to say about him and I know some colorful words.”
She laughed. “I bet you do.”
“I even know a few curse words in other languages if we want to give our badmouthing an international flair.”
“It’s tempting. Or maybe we could talk about why you look so sad.”
“I’m not sad. Like I said, I just have one of those faces.”
“Right, and my ex is a wonderful man who loves me more than anything.”
“So now you want to give me a pep talk?”
“Would it help?”
“Nah. Pep talks are overrated. In my experience, they help the people giving them much more than the people receiving them.”
“You’re probably right. I’m not in the mood for friendly encouragement either.”
“Oh, yeah? What are you in the mood for?”
“Is it too much to ask that Tommy gets sucked into a black hole?”
Alex sat up. “Say the word. I’ll make it happen.”
“Ah. So you’re friends with the guy who runs the black hole?”
“Maybe I am the guy who runs the black hole.”
“As much as I appreciate your offer, on second thought, I guess I don’t really want him destroyed. You know, completely. That seems harsh.”
“What do you want?”
“I have no idea.” She lowered her head as sadness overwhelmed her again.
Alex touched her chin. Once again, she didn’t shrink from the stranger’s touch.
It was all she could do not to lean into it.
He looked her deep in the eye. “I think you know exactly what you want.”
Under his intense scrutiny, Dana giggled out of nerves. She cast a glance over his appealing form, and didn’t worry about being discreet this time. “If only you knew.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “I would love to know.”
Do it. Just do it. “I want…to forget about things for a while. With someone.”
“Is that so?” Alex stood before her, his voice a deep rumble. “What if I told you I want the same thing?”
She ran a finger over the taut bulge of his arm. “If that was the case, then I’d ask you to follow me into the ladies’ room.”
“I can get us nicer accommodations.”
“Believe me, right now I couldn’t care less about satin sheets.” This was all about the moment, and the moment was telling her to seize him and do very dirty things with him.
“Are you sure?”
Made courageous by the cheap wine, Dana stood and whispered in Alex’s ear. “Do you have a condom?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m sure. I’m going to head into the ladies’ room and I’d like you to follow me. Don’t leave me hanging.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Her heart rattled in her chest. Amazed at her own bravado, she grabbed her handbag off the bar and walked toward the washrooms in back. Keeping her head high, she entered the ladies’ room, grateful there were no other women in the bar.
What are you doing? This isn’t you, her inner voice railed.
Exactly, she countered. This isn’t me.
When Alex followed her into the washroom two minutes later, Dana didn’t stop to question her actions any longer. He reached her in two strides, took her mouth in a savage kiss, and backed her up toward the sink.
He adjusted his clothes, removing key pieces. As he rolled on the condom, his gaze flicked toward her. “I understand if you want to say no. I don’t want you to have any regrets because of some cheap wine.”
His hand was shaking.
So were hers.
“I didn’t even finish my wine. I’m completely sober and I want this.” She pulled up her skirt. “Am I being clear enough for you?”
“Fuck, yeah.”
He drew close and his clean scent swarmed her. His touch was so warm on her thigh. Already lost to sensation, she gasped. When his fingers slid between her legs, pushing aside her panties, she was wet and ready for him.
They fumbled, knocking noses as they kissed, but when he hoisted her legs up around his waist, his movements were strong and sure.
She was sure, if only about this one thing.
Alex entered her with a deep thrust and rocked against her.
Such sweet, aching fullness. Yes, fill me.
Dana closed her eyes. And forgot everything.
***
As Alex Markov disposed of the condom, wrapping it in a paper towel, his heart was still racing.
What have you done?
If Dana recognized him and went to the papers, it would only add to the speculation that had been hounding him for over a year.
The thought made him break out in a cold sweat.
He waited for the lights to go on, for that glimmer of recognition that would make her shout. Oh, my God. You’re Alex Markov!
But it didn’t.
She was too busy adjusting her clothes and wasn’t even making eye contact.
It was a probably a good thing. He was tired of seeing his humiliation reflected in other people’s eyes.
He’d just broken one of his own commandments. Don’t get involved.
One could argue he was hardly involved with Dana…what was her last name, anyway? Even still, their conversation, short as it had been, was probably the deepest one he’d had in ages.
Alex didn’t do deep, not anymore, and yet something about Dana had coerced him out of his shell.
It had been over a year since he’d had sex, unless he counted all those nights of lonely masturbation when he’d needed to alleviate his sorrow.
To think it had happened in a dirty bar bathroom with a perfect stranger.
He washed his hands, wishing he was alone so he could splash some on his face. He looked over his shoulder at Dana as he reached for another paper towel.
The
cheap paper was scratchy, so unlike her skin.
Would it be weird to ask her out after what they’d done? Probably.
Besides, he didn’t date.
At the same time, for the first time in ages, he was tempted to try. Tempted to break more of his rules, tempted to prolong this…whatever this was.
Dana wouldn’t thank him for it, not in the end.
All sorts of questions raced through his head, making him wonder if he’d been wrong to hole himself up. Uncertainty and shame had been Alex’s reality for so long. He second guessed himself a lot, even if he never showed it.
For a few, sweet seconds, balls deep inside Dana’s sweet body, he’d never been as sure of anything. As soon as he withdrew, he was filled with doubt again.
Better to end this. He would only hurt her in the end.
It’s what he did.
She fixed her outfit, taking care to smooth down her skirt, avoiding his gaze the whole time.
“Are you okay?”
Her head bobbed in a tight nod. “It might be hard to believe, but I’ve never done that before. You know, in a bar with a stranger, up against the bathroom wall.”
“I hope I haven’t added to your regrets.”
Her silence told him she hadn’t decided one way or the other yet.
“If it makes you feel any better,” said Alex, approaching slowly and reaching for her hand, “I haven’t done that before either.”
She gave him the side eye.
“I’ve done many things, but not that. I don’t know what it is about you, Dana. I think I could forget myself around you.”
“Maybe forgetting’s overrated.”
“Look, do you want to go grab a coffee somewhere and talk?”
She removed her hand from his. “Um, do you think you could give me a few minutes?” She nodded toward the cubicles. “To freshen up.”
“Yeah. I’ll just be in the men’s.” He headed to the door, but when he turned around, all he saw were downcast eyes. “I’ll wait for you in the hallway.”
She disappeared into a cubicle, so he left. Shaking his head, Alex walked into the men’s room. Thankfully, it was empty as well. At the sink, he turned on the taps and ran the water on the coldest setting. Once it was nice and frigid, he splashed some on this face and toweled off.
Bracing his hands on the basin, he stared into the mirror.