by Rosanna Leo
“I’m sure.”
“Why should she even try?” Alex couldn’t help putting his two cents in. “Tommy had his chance. He blew it.”
Anise ignored him. “He loves you, Dana. You know he does. He just made a mistake.”
“Right,” replied Dana. “And I bet if I asked Roman, he would say he still loves you too.”
“It’s not the same thing.”
“Tommy betrayed me. He might not have done it with his dick, but he still did it.”
“He was hurting. He overreacted. I’m sure this is hard, but you have options. You can adopt.”
“Tommy wasn’t even interested in discussing that option.”
“I just think you’re being hasty. If your relationship can still be repaired, you should give it everything you’ve got. Trust me.”
“My relationship can’t be repaired.” Dana threw up her hands. “I can’t be repaired! Don’t you get it?”
Anise reared back as if she’d been slapped.
“That’s enough,” said Alex. “This is upsetting Dana.”
“And what do you know about Dana?” scoffed Anise. “You’ve known her for days.”
Alex sighed. “That’s not exactly true.”
“What is he talking about?”
“I ran into Alex the night Tommy dumped me. He listened,” Dana explained. “He didn’t know everything then, but he supported me when I needed it.”
“How convenient.” Anise shook her head. “And how exactly did he support you? Oh, wait. I can figure that out. By the way, sis, you might want to put some panties on next time you go out.”
“I said, that’s enough.” Alex couldn’t contain his anger when he glimpsed the mortified expression on Dana’s face. “What’s your problem with me, anyway?”
“My problem,” Anise said slowly, as if he had trouble understanding, “is you fucking my sister when she’s vulnerable. Do I have to spell it out? Dana doesn’t belong in your world.”
“And what do you know about my world?”
“I know enough.”
“Stop it, both of you.” Dana held out her hands.
“We know nothing about you, Alex,” Anise continued. “How do I know you’ll treat my sister with the respect she deserves? I’ve read the papers. I know what they say about you. Your last girlfriend ended up dead!”
From out of nowhere, a football launched itself at Alex’s head, or so it felt. He stared, unable to come up with a response. Shame coated his esophagus. Thick and acrid, it made him want to hurl.
“Get out.” Dana pointed at the door. “I mean it, Anise. Get the hell out.”
Only then did Anise realize she’d gone too far. Abashed, she tried to make excuses. “Dana, I just want you to see the full picture. I realize Tommy hurt you, but you shouldn’t hold grudges. He’s a good man, steady and loyal. You can come back from this as a couple.” She turned to Alex. “Look, I appreciate you might care for my sister, but she needs stability in her life, not fantasy. Tommy can give her stability. I know him. He’d do anything for her.”
“Except the one thing she needed most.”
“Anise.” Dana’s voice was tired. “Just go. I’ll talk to you at checkout.”
“But Tommy…”
“Please do not mention his name to me again. If you say it one more time, I will disown you as a sister, I swear to God.”
Tommy. Alex was so exhausted of hearing the name Tommy. It offended him. It was the name of a boy, not a man, and Dana needed a man.
Dana walked over to the door and held it open. Anise made her way over, sighing the whole way. She paused at the door and leaned in to kiss her sister. Dana stood still, letting her, but didn’t look Anise in the eye.
“Call me if you need anything,” said Anise, and then she left.
Running his hand over his face, Alex paced the living area of Dana’s suite. It took him a few seconds to realize Dana hadn’t closed the door yet. She was still holding it open. For him. “You want me to leave too?”
“Not really, but I’m tired, Alex. It’s almost morning. Maybe we should call it a night.”
Despite the fact the door was hanging open, he could have sworn it had been slammed in his face.
Calm down.
She just needed some time and some space.
He could give her that. He had to give her that.
“Sure.” Alex joined Dana at the door. He kissed her once, and then again. Leaving was harder than he thought it would be. “Are you sure you don’t want some company?”
“I’m sure.” She didn’t meet his gaze. Her walls had gone up again. “Thanks.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Alex, don’t. You know as well as I do this is the end. Anise is right in one way. It’s time for me to go back to reality.”
He cupped the base of her skull and kissed her harder, sliding his tongue into her mouth until she whimpered. “I will talk to you tomorrow.”
Touching her lips, Dana closed the door.
When he heard the click of the lock falling into place, something snapped inside Alex.
She thought it was over. On some level, she thought he needed saving.
From her.
Even worse, she saw him as a bit of fun. A lark. A fantasy. Like her sister, Dana believed they were incompatible, and his wealth and position was only the tip of that iceberg.
Anise believed Dana needed stability.
He’d never been very good at providing that for others. Did he even know the first thing about stability? He’d certainly never given it to Shannon.
You care more about your friends than me. You spend more time at Champagne and Liberty than you do with me.
You know I love you. My work is just that. Work.
No, Alex. You get off on watching all those strangers flitting around you. And you know why? Because it’s safe. Because you don’t have to get involved. You might like to play the conductor but you’ve never composed a piece of your own. God forbid you engage that cold heart of yours.
Maybe it was time for him to face reality as well.
In many ways, he was cold. He’d cultivated that reputation in business, believing it served him well, never realizing the chill had settled over areas of his personal life.
In creating his fantasy clubs, he’d built a world where he could be king. The best part about being a king?
No one got too close.
He didn’t allow anyone to get too close.
But Dana had found a way to cross his moat, even with all its snapping crocodiles.
She brought him heat and pleasure and made him want.
And yet he was scared. What if his frost began to infest her too?
Shannon had been a good woman, despite her insecurities. He’d hurt her in the end.
Would he hurt Dana?
She thought she was bad for him.
In truth, he was probably bad for her.
***
The next morning, Dana headed to the lobby early, with Anise and the others in tow. Their flight left before noon and she wanted to go home to her own bed, her own walls and floors. She would definitely miss the luxury suite at Vice, but staying here had put too many wild ideas in her head. She’d been avoiding her problems, ever since that crazy night at Joe’s Tiki Bar, and it was time to meet them head on.
The dream was over. She needed to heal in her own surroundings.
In the lobby, Dana took turns saying goodbye to Bea and Jessica.
“I had a great time,” said Bea. “Even if I didn’t make any money at the casino.”
Dana laughed. “I think that was a given.”
As Dana hugged Jessica, she whispered, “You’ll keep me posted on the baby?”
“You bet. Thank you.”
The ladies grabbed their suitcases and headed toward the door.
Dana stood in front of Anise, her head high.
“About he-who-can’t-be-named,” Anise said, “I still think you’re making a mistake.”
“Anise, I realize you just heard the news, but you need to remember I’ve been living with this for a while.”
“I can’t believe you told Alex Markov about your breakup before you told me.”
“Do you really want to go there?”
“I guess not.” Anise reached for her hand. “Can we start over? We used to be so close. We told each other everything. I don’t remember why that stopped.”
“I guess, somewhere along the way, we just grew apart.”
“I don’t want that with my sister. I want to be able to share everything with you, the good and the bad. Maybe we could try to be more open with each other. You know, checking in regularly. That sort of thing.”
“I’d like that.”
“Do you want me to be there when you tell Mom and Dad?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll call them when I get home.”
“What about Tommy?”
“We’re through.” Dana made a face. “He’s been texting.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I guess I should call him. Can’t avoid him forever.”
“Dana. I know it might sound like I was defending Tommy. I wasn’t. After my own experience, I would never want to see you saddled with a man who doesn’t value you.” She gestured around the Vice lobby. “I just don’t want you to get swept away by all of this. It’s not real, not any of it.”
Not him, is what she really meant. Alex wasn’t real.
Only, when he was deep inside her, whispering her name like a prayer, he’d felt all too real and tangible.
Like a mirage in the desert, Alex appeared across the lobby. For a moment, Dana thought she recognized the man from Joe’s. Alex wasn’t wearing one of his nice suits. He had on some shorts and a t-shirt, as well as a pair of his designer sneakers. His face seemed pale, his expression wary. He spotted her and Anise and stopped in his tracks, hanging back so they could finish their conversation.
Anise nodded in his direction. “I guess you’ll want to talk to him now.”
“I should say goodbye.”
“Well, he can wait for a minute while I hug my sister.” They embraced and Anise kissed her on the cheek. “Call me tonight, okay?”
“I will.”
“Thank you for arranging this week, baby girl.”
“You’re welcome, old woman.”
“Ouch.” Anise grinned. “That hurt.” As she walked toward the door to meet with Bea and Jessica, Anise pointed two fingers at Alex, and mouthed, “I’m watching you.”
Sighing, Alex walked over. “Your sister hates me.”
“I don’t think it’s you, specifically. I think it’s more what you represent to her.”
“And what do I represent?”
“Someone who’ll hurt her little sister.”
He drew closer. “And what does little sister think?”
Dana ignored his question and fingered the edge of his t-shirt. “What’s with the outfit?”
“I was going to go for a run.”
“Ah.” He was definitely pale, and now that he was standing closer, she could tell he hadn’t showered since she saw him last. Although he had bed head, it suited him in ways she dared not contemplate. “Did you get any sleep last night?”
“No.”
Leave it to Alex to give it to her straight. “I didn’t sleep much either.”
“Dana—”
“Alex, I want to thank you. For everything.”
A storm gathered in those green amber eyes. “But?”
“But it’s time for me to go home.”
“When can I see you again?”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“I see. You got what you needed and now you’re done. Is that it?”
“You know that’s not the truth. I have a lot on my plate. I need to take some time for myself. A relationship just isn’t in the cards right now.”
“You said I helped you feel better. Those are your words, not mine.”
“I know.”
“Whatever comes next, you don’t have to do it on your own.”
“I’m trying hard to do the honorable thing here. You said yourself you’d like to have kids one day. Why on earth would I let myself get attached when I can make a clean break now?”
“You’re already attached.”
“Well, then, I’ll just have to detach myself.” She sighed. “Alex, this shouldn’t be so hard.”
He stepped right in front of her and reached his arm around her waist. His forehead lowered to hers. “The fact that it’s hard tells me you don’t want to go, and I don’t want to let you go.”
Dana closed her eyes and fought temptation. She lay a hand on his chest, intending to push him away, but she only melted against him. “Don’t.”
“See?” His minty breath fanned over her face. “You can’t leave. Don’t leave.”
Summoning all her power, Dana pulled herself out of his grip. “We’re done.”
His mouth hardened. “I’m not asking for forever, Dana. I’m just asking you not to write us off.”
“That’s the problem right there, Alex. If we do this, any of this, eventually I’ll want forever. And I can’t bear for you to look at me with regret a year from now. I have to be careful who I let into my world from now on. I can’t have another Tommy in my life. One was enough.”
“I’m not Tommy.”
“No. You’re better, and that’s exactly why I can’t get any closer to you.”
Alex was quiet, seemingly stuck for a response. She took the chance to flee. With a firm grip on her luggage handle, Dana hurried toward the entrance of Vice. She didn’t look back.
She kept expecting to feel a firm hand on her arm, but it never materialized. Only as the doorman grabbed her suitcase did she glance over her shoulder.
Alex remained where she’d left him. He stood absolutely still, shoulders back and hands at his sides. She would have seen his frown from a mile away.
Charming, youthful Zeus was gone.
The angry, vengeful god had taken his place, insulted by the actions of mere mortals.
***
Pulling his baseball cap low over his face, Bill leaned against one of the pillars in the lobby.
He now had a name. Dana Hamill.
As soon as he’d spotted the Hamill woman this morning, he’d recognized Markov’s elevator companion. When she’d checked out of the hotel, he’d sauntered close, pretending to talk on his cell phone. He’d been able to get close enough to hear her conversation with the checkout clerk.
“I’d like to check out please. It’s Dana Hamill.” She’d handed over her key card.
“And was everything to your satisfaction, Ms. Hamill?”
“Yes. Thanks.”
When she turned to look at him, Bill raised his voice. “Is this where I can book a tour to the Hoover Dam?”
The clerk said something else and Dana Hamill stopped gawking at him.
He had a name. That was really all he needed.
Once she left the hotel, Bill remained for a few minutes longer, keeping an eye on Markov. The man clearly had a thing for the lovely Ms. Hamill. When she left, he looked like a puppy dog who’d just been kicked. Markov had stood still for a few moments after she’d exited and had then marched down some other corridor.
Bill did a quick Google search and located the woman’s information, including her place of work.
He would have to pay her a visit soon. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Markov was sleeping with her, and in Bill’s experience, people revealed a lot of secrets while under the effects of the afterglow. What sorts of secrets did Markov share as he and Ms. Hamill shared a pillow?
He’d find out.
Chapter Twelve
No one told him running in Las Vegas was a bitch.
An avid runner, Alex had thus far been working out on the treadmills in the executive health club at Vice. Today, after his conversation with Dana, he’d wanted to hit the pavement the way h
e used to do in New York.
As soon as he headed outside, he realized the folly of his ways. Nobody ran in Las Vegas. They meandered, usually with their arms overloaded with shopping bags, or even while carrying the odd pitcher of beer. With sidewalks and escalators that directed foot traffic into the various casino hotels, it was impossible to run without knocking tourists over.
He certainly couldn’t blame the tourists. Without them, he’d be nothing. He just wished more of them had stayed home that morning.
Frustrated, Alex headed onto Park Avenue and circled the arena a few times. The scenery was uninspiring, concrete block after concrete block. Next time, he would have to drive somewhere off the Strip to find an adequate place to run.
Not that he cared right now. Today, he just wanted to push his body.
To punish his body.
I have to be careful who I let into my world from now on.
Dana equated him with Tommy and he couldn’t blame her. The greatest love of her life had let her down. Why would some Vegas hookup be any different?
And yet she’d said herself she thought he was the better man. He wanted to be the better man but he’d never be able to prove it if she didn’t give him a chance.
Alex had asked Dana for honesty but he hadn’t come clean either, not about everything.
His secret shame burned a hole in his chest. The flames stung so much he dared not even think about it for too long. Shannon’s death, and the haze of forgetfulness that surrounded it, tormented him on an almost constant basis. The humiliation of having his name bandied about in the rag magazines had driven him deep into a hole.
But no one knew the worst part. He, alone, carried that burden.
Some days, he wondered if it might kill him.
“Jesus.” As he approached Vice from behind, he bent over to tie his shoe. “You are so fucked up.”
He knew his sense of guilt was playing with him again. When he was angry, it got the better of him. It would pass. It always passed.
But he did have to make some decisions. He’d suggested Dana decide what she wanted out of life, as far as children.
He needed to do the same.
His heart pumping, sweat dripping down his back, Alex walked into the alley outside the administrative hallway. The alley was empty, as usual, and he welcomed the peace and quiet. The only people who used it were employees on their smoke breaks.