by Toby Neal
Chapter Thirty-Five
Dad
The family settles into their seats around the table on the porch: JT at one head, his mother at the other. The Sheriff has joined us, but Melody, Dante, and Paul are over at the Sproat farm, helping young Cassie and her widowed mom. Lucy, claiming a headache, is absent as well. Poor girl is heartbroken. Everyone can see it.
Elizabeth sits next to JT, their eyes meeting briefly, sharing a secret smile.
Susanna and I shared something special, but it wasn’t that. A stab of regret makes me grit my teeth. I stole that from Susanna. Stole it from myself. By hiding, I avoided true love and replaced it with something good, but not truly great.
Thank God Elizabeth believed enough in love to join JT, or neither of us would be here.
Cash is the last to the table and Ana shakes her head at him before putting out her hands to say grace. The majority of Lucianos are not practicing Catholics, but we all bow our heads and hold hands.
“Amen.” Our voices rise together, a comforting, communal sound—some of us praising our good fortune, while others choose to acknowledge a higher power.
Ana stands and begins to cut the lasagna, her eyes flicking to the front door as she places large squares on each plate. She’s looking for Lucy. Ana can’t take her eyes off her daughter these days. I feel the same way about Elizabeth. My gaze is so often drawn to her—a source of light in a dark cave.
Great Nation America has us all scared. Their hate rhetoric is a powerful force in this new world.
I have to say something. Hiding is no longer something I want to do with my life. My gaze falls on Cash. The blond man smiles easily as he passes the garlic bread.
“I heard about the Gray Man in town today,” I say.
“I was talking about him today, too.” Cash says before biting into his lasagna, a long squiggle of cheese sticking to his chin. Jolene reaches out to whisk it away, and Cash pretends to bite her fingers, making her giggle. “I heard from Billy.”
Jolene grins. “How are the Grimesville folks?”
“They’re good.” Cash brings a napkin up and cleans his face. “They’re holding a rally for the Resistance.”
The tinkle of silverware dies down in the face of those words.
We’re so insulated here, tucked away in our secure compound. The Resistance wages its war outside our borders. Great Nation America has stayed away from North Fork since the Lucianos took out Kane and his compound.
Dolf clears his throat. “That’s good—for them.” His words are clipped.
“They asked me to come to the rally. For both of us to come.” Cash looks at Jolene.
Jolene’s a gentle, sweet woman with a strength at her core that contrasts with the soft round curves of her figure. She nods slowly. “What do you think?”
“It sure would be nice to see everyone.”
“You should go.” All heads turn to look at me as I say the words.
“It’s far. Dangerous,” JT pours himself some more wine. “We should stay here and continue working on the vaccine. There is lots of work to be done just keeping North Fork going. The biggest help we can offer lies in the cure, and figuring out a way to distribute it.”
“That’s true,” I say. “But safety from the flu isn’t the only protection we need. There need to be institutions that protect those that cannot protect themselves, in order to have a better future for all.” JT frowns but holds my gaze. He’s a good man. A brave and strong man. But an isolationist in these terrible times.
That’s not crazy or cowardly, nor is it the best way to ensure future generations’ health and safety.
“You’ve taken out Hillish, Kane, and their men,” I continue. “And this Gray Man is killing small groups of Great Nation America followers, too. But overall, the Resistance is losing. GNA has the hospitals. They’ve got the largest encampments. And in the void of power that exists now, someone will rise up to rebuild government, and it had better not be them.”
“You sound just like Billy,” Cash says, his voice serious, blue eyes intent.
“I like the sound of this Billy. We’d probably get along.”
“It’s terrible to think of GNA running the country,” Jolene says, her voice small but steely.
“Horrible,” the Sheriff agrees, his gruff voice low. “We can’t let that happen.”
“No, we can’t let that happen.” I turn to Cash and Jolene. “And I think that you can change that. You two are already heroes of the Resistance. You inspire people.” Jolene blushes and shakes her head as Cash looks into her eyes. I continue my pitch. “You’re brave, good-looking. Charming. You get people. You’re born leaders, both of you.”
“I’m nothing special,” Jolene says.
Cash reaches out and rubs her back. “Stop it. You’re very special.”
“We’ll be having that argument for the rest of our lives.” She laughs.
“And how long will that be?” I ask. “What future can we hope for if this country is controlled by Great Nation America?” My words come out more forceful than I mean them to.
JT thumps his glass down hard on the table. “This is where we belong. North Fork is where we can make a difference.”
Elizabeth reaches out and touches JT’s forearm. I can feel how stressful it is for her to have us disagree.
“JT, you know I admire you.” I lower my head respectfully but give him good eye contact. “You’ve got incredible foresight. You tell me, what will happen if the Resistance isn’t strong enough to stand up to Great Nation America?”
“It will. They will!” JT answers, his hand covering Elizabeth’s on his arm.
“But you can’t win a war without organized leadership and a clear mission, without hope and direction and planning. GNA has those things. They have a clear message and plan: get rid of the impure and rebuild, dominating all who are left. What’s the Resistance’s plan? There’s not even a name for it beyond ‘resistance.’ Can’t we do better? Can’t we provide an alternative to the GNA’s agenda?”
JT’s jaw ticks. “I can see your point.”
“It’s not our problem,” Dolf says, his brows a frowning slash over intense dark eyes. “We’ve got a good thing going here. Let’s not mess it up. There are women and children to protect. We must make our family’s survival top priority.”
Nani leans forward and pours herself a splash of wine. “We women can take care of ourselves, thank you very much.” She smiles at Dolf. “And some of us served our nation full-time in that capacity.”
“I didn’t mean that as a put-down.”
“Yeah, but it’s what you said.” Luca points out.
Tension is brewing among the brothers and their wives. I’m adding fuel to that fire, I know—but I have to say my piece, the truth as I see it, backed by a lifetime of experience.
“Two paths lie before us: pick up the mantle of leadership and help bring this land back into the light of a democratic society, or stay in our underground bunker, safe and protected.” No one around the table will meet my eye anymore, but I forge on. “I was a politician for a long time and it’s no longer my role. But, Cash, Jolene, you should think about becoming the leaders of a new movement beyond the Resistance. Because if you don’t, someone’s going to. And we might not like it.”
Ana hits me with a hard glare. “I don’t appreciate politics at the dinner table. Let’s eat.”
I bow my head. “Sorry, Ana. I’ve said what my conscience told me to. It’s up to these young people to decide what happens next.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Ana
I go looking for Lucille after cleaning up from that upsetting family dinner which she was absent for, again.
I still can’t stand to have her out of my sight for more than a few moments. I know I’m driving her crazy.
I came so close to losing her, and got so lucky.
For decades, I thought I was unlucky. My family connections to the Mafia, the way I never found acceptance in our neig
hborhood in Philly, becoming a widow with seven kids so young—I always thought God was punishing me for something. Now I realize He was preparing me for the Scorching.
I have faith that the Lord has a plan, but I feel better when Lucy is near, when I can keep an eye on her, touch her hair, smell her strawberry scent.
I knock on Dolf and Avital’s door. Dolf cracks it open. He looks tired and sweet—fatherhood has softened the hard lines of his face. He looks more like his brother Nando, as if his sons have imbued him with that heart his brother had so much of.
“Have you seen Lucy?”
He holds a finger to his lips. “Yeah, come in. She’s here. But keep it down—the babies are sleeping.”
He opens the door wide and I step into the apartment. The boys’ bassinets are empty so they must be sleeping in their cribs in the second bedroom. Avital is in one rocking chair, Lucy the other. They seem to have been talking, and Avital sits up when I enter and offers a smile. “Hey, Mama Ana. Sorry I didn’t make it to dinner—the boys were so fussy tonight. Lucy was helping me.”
I met Avital when she was sixteen and knew the minute she walked into my house with Nando that he’d fallen in love with her. When she and Dolf arrived at the Haven as a couple, I was shocked, but some part of me had always known both of my twins loved her—just like I knew that Roan loved Lucy. Not that it would take a genius to figure that out, just somebody mildly observant.
Lucy’s eyes are closed, her face pale. She opens them and I can tell something is off with her. My heart skips a beat. “Lucille, what’s wrong?”
She looks over at Avital, who nods her head.
What is going on?
“Ma, there is something I have to tell you.”
“You’re making me nervous. Lucy, is everything okay with your hand?” I look down at the smooth stump where her ring finger used to be and cringe inside, feeling the pain as if it were my own loss. That’s what it’s like for me with my children, their losses are my losses, as are their achievements. I live for them and through them. “Lucy, tell me what’s wrong!” My voice comes out harsh, edged with fear that sounds like anger.
Lucy looks up at me, her eyebrows snapping together as temper meets temper. We’ve had some serious fights over the years, she and I, though we always ended up closer afterward.
“Mama, I’m pregnant.”
The floor opens up and swallows me. I stumble back a step. Dolf catches me, his hand on my elbow.
I look up at him and he nods, confirming Lucy’s statement.
“You knew about this?” I accuse him.
He gives me a wry smile, not reacting to my anger. “Avital just told me, Ma. Lucy just found out herself.”
I turn to stare daggers at my daughter-in-law.
She smiles at me, “Another grandchild to add to the family, Ana! We are so blessed.”
There are angry, hurtful words churning inside of me. Slut. Failure. Sinner. I can’t even look at Lucy.
Dwight Kane and his men did not rape her…at least that’s what she told us. Did she lie to protect my feelings? Or is it that bastard Roan? Did he sleep with her before running off? “Who is the father?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“Roan.” Lucy’s voice is quiet and solemn as her eyes track down to her injured hand, her lips turning down. The father of her child has abandoned her—but I bet he has no idea! The fear and sorrow in my gut quickly ignite into rage.
“How could you be so stupid?” I cry.
Avital stands, her movement quick, taking a step to shield Lucy from me. “The babies are sleeping.”
My cheeks heat. My eyes feel wide and hot. Keeping my voice down actually hurts. “You all told me here so I couldn’t yell.”
Dolf chuckles, and I turn on him. “What are you laughing about? Your sister is going to be an unwed mother. That’s funny to you?”
“I’m happy for her.” His voice is low as he holds my gaze. “There is nothing better in this world than being a parent. Wouldn’t you agree?”
I am huffing with anger and finally look back at Lucy. She watches me, her eyes narrowed, daring me to go on. So defiant, like I didn’t raise her to know better.
“Mama Ana, it’s going to be okay. We’re all here to help and support Lucy. She’s far from alone,” Avital says. “Why don’t you just take a breath. Try to think about what a blessing this is.”
I turn on her, my jaws tight with holding back all I can’t say. Take a breath, my ass!
I have to get out of here. If I stay in this room one more second, I’m going to start yelling and wake the babies.
This is too much. It’s all too much.
I need to pray.
Not that it’s done me any good, lately. Praying hasn’t protected Lucy either. But as I leave, restraining myself from slamming the door, a prayer slips out on a breath: “Please, Lord, protect Roan and bring him home to us. His family needs him.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Elizabeth
Jolene and I are harvesting vaccine from a dozen infected eggs. We’ve turned almost all of JT’s chickens over to producing vaccine, and are breeding more chickens for immunization production as fast as we can—but it’s still slow work. Even though everyone at the Haven is now vaccinated with the new secondary strain coverage, we keep a tight lid on the chain of exposure, isolating the hens that produce the vaccine from the rest in a special coop with a biological warning sign on it.
Jolene is separating the eggs, a process deceptively like getting ready to whip up a meringue. The yolks are destroyed in our small incinerator, but we centrifuge the whites to extract a concentrate of the neutralized virus, and unfortunately each egg only produces two or three doses of vaccine.
Jolene looks up at me, her sweet face concerned. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that we won’t have enough vaccine for everyone at the rally in Grimesville. You’re feeling responsible that it’s your job to make sure they’re all protected. Well, it’s not your job. Everyone has their own destiny. We can only do what we can do to help.”
I sit back on my stool. My hand aches from filling syringes. There’s a knot between my shoulder blades, and a headache behind my eyes. But Jolene is right. I can’t take on the fate of everyone in Grimesville, and all the people from the surrounding countryside coming to the rally.
“Have you decided if you’re going to speak at the rally?” Since John made his plea for Cash and Jolene to get involved with politics, she’s been on the fence.
“I’m just there to give Cash moral support.”
I frown and roll my tense shoulders as Jolene cracks another egg. “You should be doing a lot more than giving Cash moral support. You are as dynamic a speaker as he is, Jolene.” My sister-in-law shakes her head. “Remember the wedding? You had the crowd on their feet!”
Jolene looks up, her cheeks pink. “That was different.”
“How?”
“That was just the excitement of the moment. I’m not a leader, Elizabeth.”
“And JT isn’t a farmer, and Nani isn’t a pediatrician, and I’m just a grad student but now I’m in charge of the cure. We are all taking on new roles. Cash sleeps underground now! My Dad is gay, and a receptionist!”
Jolene laughs. “He’s really good at keeping that front desk organized.”
I scoot closer to her. “Jolene, we need female leadership in this new government from the get-go. Why should Cash be the only leader? You already do everything together. Why not provide leadership to this country, together?” I gaze into her aqua-colored eyes. “You’re someone every woman can relate to. And you have the qualities that we need to rebuild this nation: self-sacrifice. Hard work. Heroism. Inspiration.”
Jolene looks down, stacking the broken eggshells. “I’m from a trailer park, for God’s sake. My mother was a prostitute, my dad a john. My brother was a skinhead leader! There is a swastika carved into the back of my head.” Her voice goes quiet on that last one.
“And your story is all t
he more powerful because of that!” I peel off my PPE and reach for her shoulders, turning her to face me. “Our pasts don’t matter. What we do now, in this moment in history, how we support each other…that’s all that matters.”
“You should be giving this speech at the rally, Elizabeth.” A ghost of a smile on her face. “You sure you and JT don’t want to be the new leaders?”
“No. I’m too shy. I can get passionate with one person, but I freeze up in a crowd. Dad always used to try to get me to go up on stage with him and I hated it. And JT? He’s just coming around to see things Dad’s way at last. He’ll never be one for a public life.”
Jolene chews her lip, determination setting in around her eyes. “You’re right, Elizabeth.” She looks around my lab. “You worked so hard to get this vaccine. I’ll honor that by doing my part, too.”
“Yea!” I hug her spontaneously.
Jolene smiles, a blooming of beauty across her face that shows how accurate Cash was when he named her Sunshine. “I don’t know what’ll happen in Grimesville, but you’re right; women should have a voice that’s equal to men’s from day one of any new government. That will never happen if someone doesn’t volunteer for the leadership shit detail.” She smiles. “Oops. I swore.”
“I couldn’t be prouder to call you my sister.” Tears prickle my eyes. “You’re the perfect Co-President.”
“Ha. It’s a little early for that, and I think we are going to have to come up with a better title, not to mention a name for our movement beyond the Resistance! But I’m ready to do this.” She grins at me. “And I know I have awesome backup.”
I stand up, stretching my hands toward the ceiling. “Let’s take a break and go talk to the rest of the family. I know Dad is going to want to work on a speech with you.”
Jolene’s face pales but she stands up, nodding. “And if we get everyone in here cracking eggs and centrifuging, there’s a chance we might have enough doses to cover everyone who comes to the rally.”
I take her hand and lift it high. “Jolene, Madame Co-President!”