by MJ Masucci
“Well, hello to you, too. I shut my phone off.”
“Why didn’t you turn it back on after you got off the plane?”
“I did, but then I shut it off again.”
She frowned at him, “You’re ignoring her aren’t you?”
“It’s better this way. She doesn’t need me.”
“You know if your face weren't already fucked up I would do it for you. Why do you always do this?”
“I’m destined to be alone.”
“No, that’s your choice, not your destiny. How do you feel about Nina?”
“I haven’t seen you in months and you’re going to start pressing me first thing?”
“Okay, come on in and I’ll interrogate you later.”
Julian walked into an apartment over three times the size of her former studio.
“This place is much nicer. How do you afford it?”
“That’s my news. I just got a movie deal. It’s good money and I start filming in a couple of weeks. My agent gave me a few bucks to help me get this place.”
“Wow, congratulations. That’s fantastic.”
“I met some of the stars. Do you know Danté Copa.”
“Yeah, wasn’t he in those Skyward movies?”
“Exactly. He’s the star and also Elliot Verner, remember him?”
“From the Karate movies?”
“Yep, one and the same. Danté is having a party on Monday night. Do you want to go?”
“I guess. I’ve never been to a party with a bunch of stars.”
“Just don’t act like a fan. That would be embarrassing.”
“Not a problem. Now, how about showing me where I’ll sleep.”
Maureen took him to a small bedroom down the hallway.
“This is a two bedroom so instead of sharing a mattress like in my other place, you get your own room.”
“I hit the big time.”
An hour later, they were sitting on her terrace sipping piña coladas. Julian had changed into his shorts and was enjoying the heat of Los Angeles.
“You’re ripped. Have you been working out?”
“Nah, plenty of trees needed to be cut and hauled, so I’ve been getting exercise that way.”
His phone went off for the hundredth time. Before he could reach for it, Maureen snatched it off the armrest of the chair. He tried to grab it back, but she kept it out of his reach while she scrolled through the texts.
“Julian, seriously? This girl has got it bad for you and you’re not treating her very well.”
He held out his hand, “Can you please give me my phone? I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“We are going to talk about it. What happened that you sounded so sad this morning?”
“I like her. I think I love her.”
Julian watched as Maureen’s jaw dropped.
“You love her? Then why are you here?”
“You know, it’s that shitty time of the year.”
“Stop making excuses. It’s about time you had someone to share your life. You can’t run out here every time the darkness comes. So what set you off?”
“She slept over and I wanted to make her pancakes. So I did. Then her father called and she had to go. It’s like she just drops everything for them. I don’t feel like I’m a priority.”
“You ever think she feels that way about you?”
“I don’t know. She’s young, barely out in the world and there are other things.”
Julian told Maureen what Caden had done to Nina. “Her first time was with that asshole who had no business taking her innocence. She’ll carry that for the rest of her life.”
“Are you angry that her first time wasn’t with you?”
“In a way, yes. But there are a lot of firsts I can have with her. Like I said, she’s young and has little experience with the world. You dated Tony, so you know the Caros. They shelter her.”
“Yeah, I do. But you better be sure what you want before you get in deeper.”
“It’s too late,” he mumbled.
“What?”
“It’s too late, I said. We’re in deep. She is in love with me and I hurt her.”
His phone went off again. Maureen once again snatched it from the armrest.
“This says she’s at your cabin and she just wants to know you’re alright. You didn’t tell her you were leaving today? Julian, you can’t do that.”
“What should I do?”
“Asshole, go inside and call her. Let her know you’re alive. Geez, do I have to tell you everything?”
“Fuck you, Moey,” he said as he got up to call Nina.
When he came back, he had a grim look on his face.
“What did she say?”
“She doesn’t want to see me anymore. She said I don’t care about her because if I did, I would have been more respectful. Fuck it. I’m on vacation.”
Julian sipped hard at his piña colada and stared out into the courtyard. Maureen watched him as his features clouded. She knew him well enough to know that he was deep in thought and troubled.
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Fine, shut down. I’m going to take a shower. I’m planning to take you to one of the best taco places around.”
After Maureen had left him, he sat staring out into the sunset of Los Angeles considering his plan when he got home. He was back to square one without anyone who cared about him in New York. The weather was perfect in California. Maybe he should consider moving out here. He didn’t need to worry about money for the rest of his life and he could afford a nice place. An added bonus was that he would be close to Maureen all the time.
She startled him from his thoughts, “Hey, are you going to shower? You could use it.”
“Always so blunt. Might as well say I stink.”
“Okay, you stink. I hung a towel up for you.”
Julian got up and kissed her cheek as he walked by heading to the already steamy bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, he came sauntering out with the towel wrapped around his waist and chest glistening with water droplets.
“Fuck, you really are ripped.”
“Not much more than when you last saw me.”
“No, seriously you are. Your abs have abs. They’re going to love you at the pool. You should stop at some modeling agencies while you’re here. I bet you could get a few jobs. Of course, that should be after your face heals.”
“You think I want to be a model?”
“No, but you could make great money. They would love your body and that face. You’re very handsome you know.”
“Maureen, if I didn’t know better I would say you were trying to flirt with me.”
“Ugh, that would be like flirting with my brother.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
Julian headed for his bedroom to change into shorts and a polo shirt. When he came out, Maureen scowled at him.
“What?”
“You can’t wear that to a club.”
“You said we were going to have tacos.”
“We are, then a club. Go put on some pants.”
“You could have told me that before I got dressed.”
Maureen took him to a small taco joint not far from her apartment. It only had an order window and a few small plastic tables and chairs set up outside. But she was right; these were the best tacos Julian had ever had. He was starved and managed to down five large ones before he was full.
“These are fantastic. We need to come here again before I leave.”
“You can, but I need to watch my figure now that I’m in a movie.”
“Really? You’re the only person I know who can eat a whole extra large pizza pie by herself and not gain an ounce.”
“Yeah, but I’m getting older now so I need to watch my weight.”
He rolled his eyes at Maureen and she gave him a tiny push which barely budged him. He waited patiently while she texted on her phone
.
“I just texted the bouncer; he lets me in without a cover or waiting in line. Julian, are you listening to me?”
He wasn’t, his mind was on Nina. “Sorry, I was thinking of something else.”
She raised one eyebrow at him, grabbed his hand and pulled him down the sidewalk.
“It’s a few blocks from here. Do you want to walk or take a cab?”
“We can walk. It’s pretty nice out tonight. It’s already started to get chilly in New York at night. I’m going to miss the warm weather but at least I can cross-country ski.”
Maureen shivered, “Brrr, I do not miss the winters there. It’s almost always warm here and swimming all year round is so appealing.”
“Yeah, but I know you miss the seasons though it would be nice to swim all year.”
“You thinking of coming out here full time?”
“I don’t know. Now there is nothing keeping me back east.”
They arrived at the club and could hear the music blasting from the front door. Maureen talked to the bouncer while Julian perused the eye candy waiting in line. None of them matched Nina.
Maureen grabbed his arm and they were allowed into the club. He was hit by the bass as soon as they entered.
“Do you want to dance?” she screamed in his ear.
“Yeah, I haven’t for awhile so I might be rusty.”
“You’ll do fine.”
As soon as Julian hit the dance floor, his body became fluid and he danced with her, moving to the music. Other women around him joined them until he was caught in the middle. The sweat was pouring off him by the time the song ended and another followed. He excused himself and went to order a beer from the bar, taking a long pull from the bottle. When he turned around, Maureen was kissing some dark haired guy. His protective nature kicked in and he pushed his way towards her.
“You okay?” he yelled at her.
“Yeah. I want you to meet Tyler. Tyler this is my best friend, Julian.”
Tyler ignored Julian’s extended hand and hugged him instead.
“Nice to meet you, bro.”
“Uh, sure.”
Julian left them alone and went to lean against the wall. He watched as she more than dirty danced with Tyler. One of the women he had danced with approached him and struck up a conversation. You couldn’t hear yourself think and it became a series of head nods and one-word answers. He lost track of Maureen until he went to the bathroom.
While he was zipping up, she came out of one of the stalls with Tyler close behind.
“What the hell are you doing in here?”
“Shit, Jules if you have to ask,” she said as she adjusted her short dress.
“Can I talk to you?”
“Hey, we’re busy. Why don’t you piss off somewhere,” Tyler said.
“I’m giving you five seconds to apologize…”
“Boys, don’t fight.” Maureen said.
Julian realized she didn’t sound right and in the bright light of the bathroom, her eyes looked glassy like she was on something.
“Can I have the key to your apartment?”
“Oh, come on, baby, you can hang out.”
“No, I cannot hang out. This isn’t you. At least it isn’t the you I know. Either give me the keys or I’ll go back and sleep on one of the lounge chairs by the pool.”
She reluctantly dug in her purse, handing him her door keys. “Julian, don’t go. I promise we’ll hang out.”
“No, have your fun. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
He stalked out of the club, ignoring several women that approached him. Even with his face a bruised mess, these women were like vultures. His sweat laden shirt clinging to his sinewy frame might have had something to do with it. He was happy to get into the night air even though it was still warm out. At least there was a slight breeze.
Julian walked the several blocks to Maureen’s apartment and let himself inside. The club wasn’t his scene. He hated being around throngs of people, but had thought it might be fun. He went to his bedroom, stripped down to his boxers, grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and went to sit on the small terrace.
A quick check of his watch told him it was past midnight and also the ninth anniversary of his family’s death. It made him nauseous to think about it and he went to dump the beer in the sink. The memories came flooding back like it had happened yesterday.
He cursed and felt bile rising in his throat, barely making it to the bathroom before he vomited. He laid his head on the porcelain rim waiting for the next round. When his stomach was empty, he went to lie in bed, falling into an uneasy sleep.
A loud bang and a string of curses woke him from his sleep. He held his breath listening. It sounded like Maureen had brought a few people home. The small clock on the nightstand glowed the time of 3:27. He turned and put a pillow over his head, not wanting a confrontation.
The noises got louder and it might have been months since he last had sex, but he wasn’t foreign to the sounds of it. He quickly got up and walked into a scene that he would never have expected from his best friend. She was involved in an orgy with two men and another woman who appeared barely out of her teens.
“What the fuck!” he yelled.
They were startled into stopping what they were doing.
“You’re sexy, join us,” the woman said.
He went over and pulled Maureen up and away from the group. She reeked of alcohol.
“You’re fucking hurting me,” she said as he held tightly to her wrist.
She was naked. It was hard for him not to look at her petite frame and voluptuous breasts.
“Go put something on, now!”
He pushed her towards the hallway and started throwing clothing at the trio, “Party is over. Get the hell out of here.”
“This ain’t your place, asshole,” one of the men said.
Julian clenched his fists and the man started to dress hurriedly as they realized they were no match for such a fight. He stood there until they left the apartment then he headed down the hall to have it out with Maureen. Her bedroom door was ajar and she was asleep on her side. She had neglected to dress and he looked away as he pulled a sheet over her.
“What the fuck did I get myself into coming out here?” he muttered as he closed her door.
Sleep did not come quickly but he eventually fell asleep sometime near dawn. He woke at noon to sounds in the kitchen and the smell of coffee. Julian yawned and shook the sleep from his head as he swung his legs over the side of the mattress.
Maureen was in the kitchen shaking a bottle of aspirin into her hand when he sat down at the breakfast bar.
“Before you say anything, don’t,” she said.
“I’m not going to keep my mouth shut about what I saw earlier. What the fuck are you doing out here? Did I miss something in the yearly Christmas card?”
“Don’t even tell me how to live my life. You’re a fucking hermit, Julian. You’re wasting your life away on the top of a mountain pushing people away. You let no one in.”
“And it looks like you let everyone in. Is this your new lifestyle, fucking whomever? And women? I never knew you to be attracted to them.”
“She came with one of the guys.”
“What did you take last night with Tyler? Are you doing drugs now?”
“Once in awhile. I do a line of coke here and there.”
“Oh, is that all? You really changed since I last visited.”
“Maybe I have. This is the California lifestyle.”
“Do you even know what day it is?”
“It’s Saturday.”
“I mean the date.”
He watched her as she thought about it and saw a pained expression cross her face.
“I’m so sorry, Julian. Forgive me?”
“It’s nine years. I can’t believe I’ve been without them for that long.”
“It went fast.”
“For you maybe. I think about them all the time. What Beth and Adam would be like n
ow. Beth would have been twenty-three and Adam nineteen.”
He began to weep, putting his hands over his face. Maureen went to him and placed her arms around his shoulders.
“It’s never easy, is it?”
“No, it’s not. I threw up when I got back here last night.”
“I can’t believe what I did. I should have been with you.”
“Yeah, you should have. Do you do that shit all the time?”
“No. I was just blowing off steam. Once filming starts, I can’t go out. It’s going to be early out of bed and little sleep.”
“Don’t you have to learn a script?”
She reached into one of her kitchen drawers and pulled out a thick loose-leaf notebook.
“Right here. I got it as soon as I accepted the role two weeks ago.”
“Do you feel overwhelmed?”
“Sort of. This is my first movie. I’ve only done commercials until now. Did I tell you? A few people recognized me on the street from that car commercial I did last month. Can you believe that?”
“Get ready for stardom.”
“I hope. It’s been a long time coming. Goodbye, Ramen noodles and hello, caviar.”
“You don’t even like fish. You’re going to eat fish eggs?”
“Probably not, but it was a good analogy, huh?”
“So are you going to take me out today?”
“If that’s what you want. Where do you want to go?”
“The Getty Museum.”
Maureen groaned, “Again! I’ve taken you there four times already.”
“They always have new exhibits every time I come here.”
His phone interrupted their conversation. He checked it and not recognizing the number, let it go to voicemail.
“Who was that?”
“Have no idea. It was a New York number, though.”
A half a minute later the phone rang again, same number so this time Julian answered.
“Hello? Frankie, what’s up?”
“Where the fuck are you kid?”
“California.”
“You didn’t tell Nina? That’s not what a boyfriend does.” He growled.
“She dumped me.”
“A misunderstanding. You don’t want her?”
“I do want her, but she told me she was done with me. What do you want me to do?”