I run up to hug him, throwing my arms around him. I bury my face in his chest because, after weeks of being with him in my dreams, wishing I could have more of him, it’s a relief to just be together with him.
No more secrets between us.
Plus, I’m afraid to let go of him and see his face and hear what he has to say.
“Hey,” he says, his hand cupping my face. “Have you eaten dinner? Can I cook for you both? We can talk in the kitchen while I work.”
I nod, feeling my stomach grumble. Everything’s easier not hungry. “So you aren’t mad at me? For keeping him from you?”
“You made him a promise, right? Not to date again. I understand I put you in a hard position. But why would I be mad? I’m still just happy and grateful to be with you.” He smiles at me, beaming, genuinely not seeming bothered. “Dream mate, I’m just glad you exist. Every day by your side is a gift I could never deserve.”
“That’s not true,” I say. “I tried to keep you away. I tried to hide that—”
Reve pulls a book down from the cupboard and flips through it. “Which of these recipes do you and Joey both like?”
I hesitate. “I haven’t gone shopping…”
Reve shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. Just show me which you want. I can rearrange matter as needed.”
Feeling in a daze but aware that I can deal with all of this better once I’ve eaten, I walk over and open to a page with meatloaf and steamed carrots that Joey likes.
I’ve never been picky.
“Give me a few minutes. You go get dressed in something comfy. Take a load off your feet.”
Of course having him here would be wonderful. Of course he would just start making everything perfect as he does when we’re together in my dreams.
So I walk to my room, almost in a daze but kind of glad Reve is here now that Mark seems to be back.
But how to explain any of this? Do I tell him I was just a foolish teenager? That I knew Mark was bad but I didn’t feel like I had any choice for a long time? That I fell in love with Joey on the first ultrasound, and I could never see life without him?
I know he wasn’t born with my so-called dream mate, but he’s the most important part of my life.
Then again, Reve seems to understand it, and I didn’t hear Joey yell or throw anything, so that means he’s mostly okay with things too.
What did Reve even say?
I’m assuming he knew not to just talk about being an immortal fairy.
I change into comfy sweats and pull a robe on over them along with rabbit slippers in gray.
By the time I make it into the living room, the smell of delicious gravy is filling the air along with a sweet tang of caramelized carrots.
He hands me a plate. “Here. You want to take this to Joey? I think he’ll probably want to eat in his room.”
I wonder how he picked up on that. Joey doesn’t like eating at the dinner table. It reminds him of Mark when he’d be scolding and controlling.
I take the plate to Joey, who still seems a bit irritated as he refuses to meet my eyes but takes the plate.
Just as he’s about to close the door again, he shoots me a look. “Reve seems nice. But you did say you wouldn’t date again, and—”
“And if you don’t want me to—”
Joey holds the plate awkwardly, staring down at it. “I guess I shouldn’t really decide how you do things. I’m just a kid.”
“Well, you’ve already paid for my bad choices.”
He glares at me. “Don’t say that.” He sets the plate on his bed and comes back to hug me. “Look, I’ll try to be okay with it.” He pulls back. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. But Reve seems nice.” His lip twitches. “Weird but nice. I’m gonna game now, okay? With Jared.”
“Right,” I say, glad that he’s had such a good gaming buddy lately. It’s kept him busy and happy. He doesn’t always get along with a lot of other kids since he’s so untrusting. “You have fun. I’ll just be out talking to Reve, okay?”
“Okay,” Joey says. He shuts the door, and I hear him talking on the mic a moment later.
I sigh, knowing everything should be okay at least for now.
I guess I knew, in the end, Joey would be happy for me, but I feel like such a failure for already giving him a low opinion of men.
“Hey, get in here and have some dinner,” Reve says, grabbing me around the waist and leading me to the table.
As he sets a steaming plate in front of me, all my worries disappear.
From how to afford groceries to every patient who tried to spit on me or throw feces at me to wondering if Joey’s doing okay, it all just drains away as Reve comes behind me to wrap his arms around my shoulders and give me a warm hug.
“All right,” he says, releasing me to sit at the other side of the table. “Now dig in.”
For a few minutes, I just eat with him watching interestedly.
“You’re not having any?” I ask.
“I ate on my own,” he says. “I’m not quite used to human food yet.”
“What do you eat?”
He cocks his head. “I’m more than happy to tell you more about fae customs sometime, but I think this is not quite the right time for it.”
He’s right. I’m stalling.
I take a bite and set my fork down, trying to gather my thoughts. “I really like you, Reve.” I liked him the moment I saw him. He seemed like a ray of sunshine bursting through the storm of darkness that my life has been until now.
Right until I realized he’s been looking for me forever.
“I guess I didn’t see how me already having a son connected with you wanting me as your dream mate,” I say quietly. “I suppose it was selfish to keep trying to have both worlds.”
“Not selfish,” he says instantly. “Life has been hard.” He cocks his head. “I don’t understand why you thought Joey would be a problem. Or that I would be a problem for Joey. He is a young dream warrior. Soon he will need to be trained. It’s lucky I came along.”
I shake my head. “He’s not yours to raise. You’re not his father. I’m all he needs.” But deep down, I know differently. I don’t know how to show him how to be a man. At least one that isn’t like his father.
“No,” Reve says. “I would want to help this young warrior, to get to know him, even if I wasn’t your soul bond. He’s an amazing young man.” Reve smiles. “Already so protective of his mother.”
I flush. “He shouldn’t have to feel that way. I’m the one protecting him.”
Reve leans back in his chair. “He can’t help it. Natural warrior feelings when they are raised well.” He gives me a grin. “He’s been raised very well. Loved very much.”
It fills me with hope down in the center of my heart to hear him say so. Everything I have done has been to try to make things up to my son.
Reve stands up and comes to sit in the chair next to me. He puts his hand over mine. It’s so warm and relieving that tears well in my eyes, and I feel him gently grab a napkin and dab at them as well.
“You’re so wonderful,” I say, looking over at him. “But you deserved a different soul bond.”
His mouth turns down instantly. “Why? You’re the most wonderful soul bond I could imagine.”
“But I have a son. My past is so messy. I should have—”
“Nothing,” he says firmly. “You owe me nothing.” His hands clasp mine, so warm. “Jen, I want to be with you forever. I want all of your tomorrows, but I was never under the delusion that I owned your yesterdays.” He grins. “I’m probably saying it all wrong, but what I mean is that I think you’ve been an amazing, strong person doing her best in a difficult situation. I’m proud of you, of the woman you’ve become despite circumstances that could have broken anyone. I’m amazed by you, even more now that I’ve met Joey and seen what an amazing little man you’re raising on your own.”
Tears well in my eyes again, and this time, I dab at them. “Thank you, Reve.”
/> “But I think it’s time for you two to have some more help,” he says, looking as though he’s steeling himself for my rejection. “I think having a warrior around to help him learn about himself would be good.”
“I don’t know if he’ll trust you,” I say uncertainly.
“He shouldn’t trust me,” I say. “Not until he sees more of me. I’m going to prove myself to him in how I treat his mom. That’s why, if you truly tell me to go, that I can’t stay and protect you, then I will. Because I respect what you want most of all. But Jen, I promise I’ll do whatever you ask of me if you will just grant this one wish. That I can stay here and try to keep you safe.”
I hang my head in defeat but smile because what can I say to that? “But will we still get to do fun things in my dreams?”
Reve grins, and his teal eyes twinkle, making me finally believe that things really will be okay. “Of course,” he says. “You’re a busy momma. We’ll fit in our time together while you’re asleep. But will I get to at least hold you in my arms at night? It feels so good when you’re close to my heart.”
I grin at him, body already warming at the thought of falling into bed with his arms around me, feeling safe rather than worried as I slip into the dream world. “I’d like that.”
“Then eat your dinner,” he says, standing and pressing a light kiss to my ear as he heads into the kitchen, presumably to do dishes. He flashes me a smile over his shoulder as he turns on the water. “Because I have fun plans for us tonight.”
6
Jen
The tempestuous waters roll with white caps and waves nearly twenty feet high as I try to steer my galleon through the oncoming storm.
I keep hold of the worn, wooden wheel as a blast of sea spray nearly knocks my captain’s hat off.
But I won’t change course no matter what, I think, my eyes pinned on the large, derelict ship sailing out ahead of us, equally battered by the storm.
“Captain,” my first mate, a comically handsome man with an eye patch, steps up in full pirate regalia. “Your call?”
“Hard to port. Ready the cannons. They’re losing speed, and we’ll soon have them in range.”
Above me, the sun is trying to break through the dark, stormy, ominous clouds, sending silver rays all around as we sail.
I have to catch that ship. My love is on it.
I hear the rumble of the long guns moving up to the side of the ship as we turn horizontally to the ship we are chasing so our guns face them.
“Fire!” I yell, and cannonballs fly out, almost breaching the distance before landing in the ocean, splashing everywhere. “Hold!” I say, grabbing the wheel and pulling it. “Ready the long guns!”
I wait until I hear the signal that they are ready, and then I yell to fire again.
This time, one of the balls flies far enough to breach the hull, and then another hits with the shattering crash of broken wood.
The ship slows and begins to turn around, facing us with guns, ready to fight now that it’s injured.
I stand firm on the prow, legs spread apart, as my first mate comes up beside me.
“They could sink us first.”
“I don’t think so,” I say. I give the command to fire again, and another volley of cannonballs slams into the hull of the other ship right where their cannons would be loading.
Fire breaks out, and screams rend the air, and I’d almost feel bad about this if they weren’t a crew of kidnappers.
My magnificent purple pirate coat whips out around me as I hold the wheel, watching with glee as the other ship’s captain comes into focus. We’re getting closer to them as they try to get us in range.
I give the signal for another volley, and the ship spins as balls crash into its side with a lot of force. It groans and creaks, and I give the command to stow the guns as I turn the wheel to bring us close to the burning ship.
“Lash us together!” I yell, and men throw ropes with hooks tied to them as far as they can, catching them over the railings of the ship we’re attacking.
Then slowly but surely, the crew pulls so that the ships come closer together while I hold the wheel steady.
“We go aboard!” I yell once we’re close enough that gangplanks can be lowered. “Take what you want, but the captain is mine to deal with! And any of her cargo!”
My first mate salutes, and I run across the gangplank ahead of all of them, pulling my sword from my scabbard as I go.
I land on the deck, and a pirate runs toward me, menace in his eyes. I kick him backward because I have no desire to spill excess blood before I get to my target.
My first mate deals with him, and I run forward, kicking or shoving anyone out of my way until I reach the helm.
The captain turns to face me. A tall woman with black hair and pale skin, a wan grin. “I suppose you’ve come for your man?”
I hold out my sword. “I’ll fight you for him.”
“Ah! Help! I’m in trouble!” Reve’s very unenthused voice almost takes me out of the fantasy as I turn to see him lashed to the mainsail, his puffy white shirt torn open and showing his beautiful pecs and abs.
He’s wearing breeches tucked into boots, and his beautiful turquoise hair is whipping in the wind while the rest of his body is tied, rather sexily, I think.
Reve’s teal eyes meet mine, and he smiles apologetically. “Are you sure about this, dream mate? I’m—”
The pirate captain jumps down in front of me and goes over to Reve, putting his gag back in. “You’ll speak when you’re spoken to, wench.” Reve’s eyes meet mine, still silently saying something like, You’re really into this? But I ignore him because I have a fight with a pirate right now.
Reve does look super sexy with his shirt open, tied to that mast, though.
But I need to focus.
“We fight! For the wench!” I say, extending my sword.
“For the wench.” The captain cackles. She pauses, going up to stroke Reve’s cheek as he pulls away. “I’m going to have even more fun with him after I beat you.”
Reve’s eyes go wide, but I just chuckle. I know how this dream will end.
“I’m going to kill you, bitch. And then the wench will be coming back to my cabin instead,” I say.
“Ha!” The captain runs at me, lunging with her cutlass, but I quickly parry her move and thrust forward. She blocks my move, and we circle, crossing swords, dodging in and out.
Around me, the ocean screams and froths with the waves beating the frigate. Sea mist is tossed in the air and wets my face as I fight.
I’ve never felt more alive, and I can feel Reve watching me.
Finally, with one look at him, I lunge forward and catch my enemy in the chest.
She makes some stereotypically dramatic death noises and falls forward, dead on her face.
I can’t really feel bad since she doesn’t actually exist, though.
“Tie the crew but leave them alive!” I yell. “I have defeated their captain. The booty is ours!”
My crew cheers, having mostly dispatched the other pirates anyway. They head downstairs, presumably to search for loot, and I walk over to Reve, who’s glaring at me over his gag, still tied to the mainsail.
I walk over, cocking my head. “Something wrong, wench? My rescue not satisfactory?”
He rolls his eyes and tries to say something, but the gag prevents him, and he looks at me, nonplussed.
“Right,” I say, pulling down the gag.
He spits a couple times because the gag apparently tasted terrible. Then his eyes meet mine. “Wench?”
I laugh. “That’s the part you mind here?”
He looks to the side. “When I started the simulation, I admit I didn’t know I would be the damsel.”
I laugh, using my sword to swiftly cut his ropes. “Does it make you feel better knowing that, in this fantasy, the wench gives the rescuing captain booty?”
He grins, rubbing his wrists as he walks away from the mast. His teal hair flies back
in the wind, more vivid than the ocean. “Yes. It was cool to see you take the ship as well.” His eyes gleam. “Knowing you would fight for me.” He comes in closer, putting his arms around my waist.
“Not here,” I say, pushing him back. “The crew will see.”
“No, they won’t,” he says. “I’ll make them turn away.”
“I—I guess so,” I say because his strong, virile body is tempting me, and already, I’m heating up inside, just touching him. Also, everything is amplified by the thrill of battle. My victory.
He sweeps me up in his arms and carries me back over the gangplank while my crew studiously looks away.
“Sorry,” he says. “I know you’re the captain, but I couldn’t wait another moment to have you in my arms.”
“It’s fine,” I say, putting my arms around his neck and curling into his warmth. “I’m done captaining for now anyway. Caught the enemy ship. Fought the captain. Saved the booty—”
He laughs, carrying me downstairs and into the captain’s quarters. Obviously, he knows where they are since he created them. “Don’t you mean captured the booty?”
“No, I saved it,” I say. “Your booty.”
He laughs again, setting me on the lavishly decorated bed in my captain’s cabin. “I guess you did.” He sits down next to me, giving me a rakish grin. “Does that mean I have to give you my body as a reward, oh fierce captain?”
I laugh, pushing him down on the bed and straddling him.
He looks so good like this, and I really did have so much fun that I feel like I could do anything right now.
I lean forward, one hand on either side of his face, kissing him.
His hand comes up to wind into my hair, holding tight, and his other arm comes up to wind around me, keeping me trapped against him.
He’s so big, so powerful. It was fun to be the one in control for once. To save him when I usually feel so powerless.
“I like this fantasy,” he says, kissing my ear, my neck, as I moan. “I love seeing you in charge, the elegant, fierce queen I know you are.”
I moan lightly as he bites down on my earlobe.
In Her Dreams Page 4