Giovanni stared into the fire, seemingly uninterested. He didn’t answer.
I blinked at him. Of course, he wouldn’t ask. I shifted my focus towards the flame.
“That’s good,” he said, surprising me.
I snapped my gaze to him. “What?”
“That’s good that it wasn’t a bad dream. It seems like you have had many bad dreams recently.”
“Yes. That’s true.” I looked into the fire. “I dreamt I was frozen in a wall of ice.”
“That isn’t a bad dream?”
“Well, it started out bad, but then... someone came. Lynx came and rescued me.”
Giovanni sat up straight. “How did he save you?”
“He shattered the ice around me, pulled me out, and held me. And just as Lilith saw us, we disappeared into sparks and darkness.”
Giovanni’s jaw looked unhinged. The entirety of him was uncertain and flustered.
“Stupid, I know, but—”
“No, no it isn’t stupid.” Giovanni stood up and lunged forward, tripping—tripping?—and falling in front of me. His jaw was set in a stern line; his eyes had turned serious. I flinched as he laced his fingers in mine.
I stuttered, confused and anxious about his intense expression. “Wh—what do you mean?”
“Jade. Jade—that is exactly what had happened. That is how Lynx saved you.” His eyes were so blue, so focused. On me.
I blinked at him. “Are you saying...” My words trailed off, eaten up by the crickets and my thoughts.
He nodded once. “It wasn’t a dream, Jade. It was a memory.” His expression turned urgent, almost excited. “Jade... Jade you are remembering.”
My thoughts scrambled. It couldn’t be... I couldn’t be remembering. Not after searching for so long, so long for something to cling to and then grasping nothing. Then a memory, a clear and crisp memory, simply materializes in the night, in a dream? I almost denied it, almost told Giovanni not to be ridiculous, but then I noticed something within his eyes. The harsh intensity of them giving way to something softer, something more full and open.
“I. Am. Remembering,” I said it as declaration to myself. I said it as something that we both could hope for.
And for the first time, Giovanni lips spread wide into a smile—every feature alight with some new thrumming energy—and I was surprised when a small part of me startled awake just to stare at it.
40
GIOVANNI
JADE’S TATTOO ON her arm was ablaze, practically a beacon in the early morning dim light. Her steps were steady, her eyes clear. While I could feel Hell pushing me away, I knew that it would be reaching out to pull her in. We were both struggling with each step for completely different reasons. A memory absorbed all my thoughts as we made our way down the rock face towards the bridge into Hell.
“Jade?” I sat down beside her, wishing to have the courage to push away the hair that had drifted into her eyes. She didn’t answer me, but I was used to that. She thought that silence was delicate and would only break it if she felt she had to. She thought silence was beautiful. Every muscle was tense as I sat there next to her not talking. I could take her. Bring her to the city and claim my prize, but I couldn’t because I entangled myself with her and Lynx, and something inside me wanted to hold onto their trust. Betraying Jade seemed like something too terrible to even contemplate. “Jade?” I asked again and I was surprised by the smooth softness in my voice. This wasn’t the voice of a commander; this was the voice of someone being commanded. I bristled at the thought. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Jade,” I said it as if it were a clear demand. Look at me. Talk to me. Touch me. I clenched my teeth at the last one as I rolled back my shoulders hoping the thought would not creep back in. I finally turned to her, and started. She was unblinking and still. Too still. Her eyes were trained on a point far out where I couldn’t see. When I lifted my hand to touch her shoulder, I touched ice-cold flesh. I grabbed her shoulder and shook her, standing up to look into her face. I shook her again, both hands on her shoulders, desperate and confused. Her gaze didn’t change. She stared through me. As I looked at her, I realized there were splotches of inky black tendrils spreading their way through the green of her irises, like oil on the sea. Her skin had paled, taking on an ashen-grey, and black veins webbed across her skin. I screamed at her and then screamed for Lynx. He came out of the brick house and into the overgrown garden, running. I lifted Jade into my arms, and jumped off the ledge of the fence and ran toward him. “I don’t know what is happening?”
Lynx’s eyes widened and he motioned for me to follow. He ran inside and swiped everything on the kitchen table to the floor. Puffs of flour filled the air along with the clattering and chinking of broken china as it hit the ground. I laid Jade out on the table. Her body started to spasm as her eyes became blacker. There was barely any green left. She shook violently, her head whipping from side-to-side, her fingers clawing and contorting. “Hold her down!” Lynx shouted. I did, I put my arms against her and braced her to the table, feeling her unnatural strength push back. I bowed my head and closed my eyes, not wanting to see the way her body flinched and convulsed. Lynx was mumbling something and I could smell sage and cinnamon in the air. She stopped thrashing. At first, I thought Lynx had finished whatever ritual he was doing, but when I opened my eyes, I saw Jade staring up at me with two twin pools of blackness. There was no green or white left. A strange, choked, raspy voice crept out of Jade’s mouth sending a shiver up my spine. “Let. Me. Out.”
My eyes grew wide as her lips peeled back into a grin that only slightly covered pointy white teeth. My breath stuttered. “Let. Me. Out.” Her voice scratched across my skin. That is when I noticed Lynx pull out the blade. “What are you doing?”“ he repeated.
That is when I noticed Lynx pull out the blade. “What are you doing?” He didn’t answer me; he just continued his chant as he lowered the blade to Jade’s forearm and dragged the blade across her skin. She bucked back against me and screamed a demon scream—a cross between a hiss and a growl. I pushed her down on the table and the convulsing began again. She chanted alongside Lynx, but her words I could understand. Her words were the same three words over and over again. “LET. ME. OUT!” It wasn’t until Lynx lifted the blade that Jade went still. Her whole body completely collapsing against the table. Lynx was gasping. I pulled away to look at her. The black veins were gone. Her lips and eyes closed so I couldn’t see the demon marks if they were still there. Her flesh was no longer like stone; it was warm, fleshy and soft.
“What did you do to her?” I yelled. “Did you kill her?” My rage roared in me and I lunged for Lynx, knocking him back.
“I did what I had to!”
My hands were around his throat and tightening. His face darkened to a deep purple when I heard her.
“What are you doing, Giovanni?”
I let go of Lynx and whipped back around to see Jade’s soft pink face staring at me; her brow pitched up with alarm. She was holding her forearm and the blood still dripped down to her wrists and fingers, each blood drop spilling to the floor. Lynx stood up beside me and I could feel him searching too, but there was nothing to see. Her eyes were vivid green, her skin clear and pink, her teeth normal beneath her perfect full lips. I took a tentative step toward her.
She brought her bleeding arm up and pressed it against her eyes. “What—what happened?”
“She’s trying to get out, Jade,” Lynx said and I jerked my head toward him.
“Who is?” Lynx didn’t answer, but Jade did.
She was looking at Lynx. Her eyes sorrowful, her whole body hunched in despair. “Dejanira.”
Lynx nodded and I saw the pure agony that pulled on Jade’s features. “Who?” I repeated.
Jade’s words shook. “The Demon Princess.”
The Demon Princess. I cast a look at Jade. Was it the Demon Princess?” Jade walked beside me as we crossed the bridge. I could feel the cave reaching out and stealing my energy, just
as I saw it reach out to her. Everything about her seemed more fierce and alert, more slanted and unfamiliar.
After all of the years that had past, I never thought I would be the one to bring the Demon Princess back to her kingdom.
And yet, there we were, marching into Hell together. I just hoped we would both be leaving.
Jade’s tattoo sputtered, but I could already see how its power was yielding to the penetrating cold and the evil nestling everywhere. I wanted to reach out and hold Jade’s hand.
I didn’t. We marched on, bracing against the winds and the wickedness that awaited us.
41
JADE
MY FINGER GRAZED the icy tunnel wall. The touch tingled. I shuddered as a surge of frigid air licked around me. It felt like kisses were being pressed all over my body and I felt something like pleasurable flick across my skin. Something dark and sticky began to cling to my thoughts.
”Are you all right?” Giovanni asked through a breath of foggy air.
I looked at Giovanni. He breathed in puffs of foggy air, His skin was the color of ashes, and he stood in a puddle of feathers. His gaze followed mine to the ground. He shifted to one foot uncomfortably.
“Are you all right?” I countered.
He let out a shaky breath as he took his next step. “This place... I can feel it stealing my strength. I can...”
“Maybe it wasn’t yours to begin with!” I barked out with a surprising flare of anger. Eyes widening, I clamped my hand over my mouth shocked at my words. “I—I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
Giovanni’s stormy expression crossed the distance between us. He yanked my arm in front of him and pushed up the sleeve. I gasped.
The tattoo. My tattoo was disappearing... just the edges fading into a thin, white scar. I traced the line with my fingertip. “What—what’s happening?”
Giovanni’s thumb grazed across the edges roughly before flinging my arm back at me, disgusted. Disgusted or afraid, I wasn’t sure. “The angelic rune won’t last long here. It won’t...”
I sucked in a breath. “Keep her away,” I said, my voice breaking. Giovanni’s expression didn’t change. I stared back at him, a flurry of memories slamming into me. Dejanira. That dark other part of me who was waiting to be unleashed. That dark other person I almost became. And as long as I stayed in there, the weaker my rune would become. The tattoo had helped me ward off the terrible thoughts, my wickedness, but once gone, I would be on my own. I didn’t know if I could take her on; I didn’t know if I could win.
Giovanni’s level stare stayed on me.
A single tear escaped my eye. I felt it calve a path over my cool skin. “Giovanni.” I said, careful not to let me voice tremble.
“Yes?”
“If—I—if she—wins,” I had to take a breath because my heart was hammering against my ribs and I thought of Connor, my Connor who was waiting for me to come home, who I was blocking out because I was scared he would feel this blackness blurring everything else. “If Dejanira beats me,” I said, “I want you to kill me.”
Giovanni flinched back. His face flashed shock, anger, and then comprehension. He didn’t answer. He just turned around. He was a soldier. He must’ve known the logic, the need to listen to me.
I knew he was thinking the same thing. And by the clench of his jaw, I also knew that if I did unleash her, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill me. “Giovanni, if she—takes over—I trust that you won’t let her win. You won’t let her live, right?” I tried at confidence, but even I could hear how my voice trembled on the word ‘live’. I lifted my chin.
Giovanni didn’t say anything.
It was a promise that lingered between us. We both knew it. I was both terrified and grateful for it. I squared my shoulders, and pulled my sleeve back down. “Let’s find Lynx and get out of here. We don’t have much time.”
As if in agreement, another long white feather fell from beneath his long trench coat. He was fading too. Without a word, we both turned toward the gaping black tunnel.
I clenched my teeth, as I heard a velvety cooing in my head. “Welcome home, daughter.” Her laughter was a musical and wretched thing. It wasn’t until I heard the screaming behind it, that I started to run.
42
CONNOR
I COULDN’T FEEL my legs. I was paralyzed. A dream. No, a nightmare. I wretched over the side of my bed. Her eyes were inky pools of black, but other than that, it was Jade. The images had flashed forward to Jade, slicing through a man with her bare hands and then licking up the blood.
”Are you happy about your choice now, mortal? Linking your soul with a demon?” The voice was feminine and seemed to seep through the walls and melt into me. A demon.
“Why do you think you are so sick? Mortals can’t bear the treachery of the otherworld. They can’t handle the ugliness. Did you really think your darling Jade was so innocent?” I could see the flutter of movement in the mirror. I stumbled out of bed and crossed over to it. An elegant woman wrapped in black icy- lace stood before me. Her ebony hair was so long that it touched the floor. Her eyes were a slate- gray, open—but empty. So empty. “You, little mortal, can’t block me out.”
“Who are you?”
“Who am I?” she smirked. “I am Jade’s mother. I am Lilith.” As she said her name, a snake’s tongue flitted out of her mouth and hissed. I jumped back and she laughed. “Do you really think you can save my precious daughter? It is only a matter a time. It is inevitable that she chooses her fate. She’s home now. I hear her screaming.”
“What?” I barked back, but my raw throat made the sound come out like a croaking noise. “She doesn’t want to be like you. She wants to be good and—”“
“And what? Be human? Leave the majesty of her bloodline and come roll around in your bed like some little school girl? Mortals are stupid.”
“It’s not like that...” I gritted out. “I know she is good. I know it!”
“Oh, yes. She is good. And she is wicked. Fire and shadows. But in the end, the fire always gets snuffed out and the shadows always eat up the light.”
“Get out of my house! Get out of my head!”
“Oh, you silly boy. You practically invited me, so I think I’ll stay.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You linked your soul to Jade. She can resist my presence, but you... oh, you are too weak to resist me and I think I will have fun watching your mind crumble into pieces. Along with your family’s.” She was looking at the curve of her claws now. “Oh, by the way? How is your mother? Are those headaches getting any better?”
“You bitch! Don’t you dare hurt any of us!”
“If you don’t want me to hurt you, stop this little crusade. Let go of Jade. Let destiny manifest itself without your meddling. If you don’t, I will destroy you all. Slowly, so you can watch everything you love rot away before your very eyes, and knowing that it was because of you.”
I punched the mirror. It was a reflex reaction, but as soon as the shards clattered to the floor and I felt the hot blood trickle down my knuckles, I wished I had given her a few more moments to explain. I knew she would be back. I knew this wasn’t over. I also knew that I could already sense the pounding in my head and the headache ready to spill in. I shook, but hesitated to close my eyes, because the last time I did, Jade had happily stripped the skin off a man. She laughed as she heard him screaming. She laughed, as I looked straight at her in horror and question. She didn’t stop laughing until she jabbed her claws into the man’s throat. He thudded forward on the ground. Then she pointed at me and said, “You’re next, my pretty boy.” She licked her lips before she took her step. I didn’t want to close my eyes, because I didn’t know what lies would be waiting for me. I didn’t want to close my eyes, just in case they weren’t lies at all.
43
DESI
DESI COULDN’T WAIT any longer. She had gone into New Orleans for a reason. The number was in her pocket. Her son was in the next room screami
ng at walls and blank mirrors. She was afraid of what he might do to himself and she knew she had to protect him. Tears streamed down her face as she called the number on the business card. She hoped she was doing the right thing, but a part of her knew either way, she was losing her son. As soon as she dialed the number, the headache fizzled away and she was left to whisper into the receiver. Her son standing in a mess of blood and broken mirrors in the next room.
44
GIOVANNI
LYNX TRACED THE lines on Jade’s skin where the ragged bleeding lines had been only a few hours before. “This symbol will help you suppress the evil within you. It will help you keep Dejanira weak and unable to surge to the surface.” Jade concentrated on the movement of Lynx’s hand and tried to do the same motion. She nodded. “Do I have to always cut it on my skin?” It wasn’t a despairing voice as if she was terrified of having to do what Lynx had done; instead, it was a purely informative question. She wanted to know because she would not hesitate to do it if the answer was yes. I wanted to interrupt them. I was boiling over from the revelation of this secret that they had kept from me. Dejanira was within Jade. She just had been too weak to come out. As Jade became stronger, so did Dejanira. Dejanira was the dark weapon that the rumors were about. She was the one that Lilith adored, and who was the heir of ellHell. She was the one who had killed ____all those years ago. Jade had been too weak then. She couldn’t fight her. She had lost. All the stories and the rumors were about Dejanira—a demon of black eyes and spidery veins and pointy teeth; a demon who adored torturing people and hearing their screams, a demon who was too powerful when unleashed to retrain. Only Jade could do it.
“No,” Lynx said. “You just have to draw it. “Even if you forget what it means...”
“I would never forget.”
Fire & Shadows Page 11