Broken Dreams

by Rissa Blakeley

  “Get a pack on,” Henry barked. “We’re going out to find her.”

  “I’m going, too,” Claire quietly said, and Henry looked at her.

  “We can’t risk all of us. You and Sophie stay.”

  “No! I’m going, too!” Sophie protested.

  Nick blew his top. “What do you fucking care?! You have been nothing but trouble for Elaina since you and your hooker-looking ass arrived here!” He pointed to himself, “Her brother,” then he pointed to Henry, “and her fiancé are going to go track her down! She means nothing to you!” Henry flinched at the word fiancé. He wasn’t sure if they were even together, let alone still engaged, seeing as her ring was in his pants pocket. Nick struggled to get his boots on through his anger.

  Sophie clenched her jaw. “Regardless of what you think, I do care about her because I can see how much Henry loves her.”

  “Enough!” Claire yelled. “This is no time to argue about who loves her more!” She was pissed. “If we all go, it’s more eyes looking for her. Now, let’s move!”

  “Fine! Whatever. Everyone grab a pack so we can get the fuck out of here.” Henry went to the dining table, only to see that his pack and his keys were missing. “Bloody hell!” He pounded his fist on the table.

  “What?” Sophie asked.

  “My pack and keys are gone. She must have taken my truck.” He went to the plastic bag-covered window and peeled part of it back. “Shit! She took my truck! Damn it, Elaina!”

  “Where could she have gone?” Sophie sounded genuinely concerned.

  “I don’t know!” Henry snapped again. He was angry and worried.

  “Well, let’s quit fucking around, discussing the where’s and how’s. Let’s get out of here!” Nick whipped open the apartment door and stormed out. The rest of them followed closely behind. They didn’t even bother checking for undeads when they threw open the main entrance door. As they ran to Sophie’s truck, the rain had started to come down pretty hard.

  “Toss me the keys!” Sophie threw them at Henry. They all hopped in just in time to avoid an undead staggering right for them.

  Henry stared at the cracked windshield for a moment, then looked at Sophie. She shrugged and he shook his head at her.

  “Everyone, please save your ammo. We may need it.” He started the truck and slammed it into drive, pushing the pedal to the floor. The tires roared on the wet streets.

  Henry weaved left and right, avoiding cars and true deads. He stopped at the end of the street. “Give me an idea of where any of you think she might have gone.”

  “Clueless,” Sophie said.

  “Obviously.” Claire rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe her apartment?”

  “No,” Nick said. “Our parents’ house. I bet she’s trying to head there.”

  “Shit! She can’t go that way! It’s blocked. Cars are clogging the on-ramp!” Henry gunned it. It was raining heavier by the minute, and there was constant thunder and lightning.

  “Watch the gas. It was about a quarter tank when Nick and I came back.” Henry looked at the gauge. Sure enough, it was just a hair below a quarter tank.

  “I have a siphon… Shit! She has my pack. I have a siphon in there!”

  “Relax, Captain Anxiety. Take your finger off the panic button for a moment. Remember, I have one, as well. The trick is finding a car we haven’t siphoned off already.” Sophie dug through her pack, looking for her siphon.

  “Sorry. I’m just worried sick about her. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to her.”

  “I know. Just calm down.” Henry nodded. She reached up and tenderly rubbed his ear with her thumb and forefinger. “Deep breath. She needs you to focus right now. We will find her.” He closed his eyes, while inhaling and exhaling.

  ***

  I looked for tissues all over the front of Henry’s truck. Yet again, I was on another crying jag, and was without precious tissues. I needed to start carrying something if I was going to be fucking crying all the damn time. I pulled up my shirt and wiped my nose on it. I kept thinking I was crazy for trying to go to my mother’s house.

  The lightning was striking all around me, and the thunder was vibrating the truck. I just wanted to get to my mother. I turned the truck off so as not to waste gas. I pounded my fists on the steering wheel a few more times just for good measure, only to accidentally hit the horn.

  I screamed until my throat burned. It made me feel alive for a brief moment. It was raining so hard, I couldn’t even hear myself. I felt a thud on the left side of the truck. I didn’t want to look, but I had to.

  “Oh, my god!” I screamed. There was an undead throwing himself into the driver’s side of the truck. I turned on the ignition again, and hit the lock button.

  “Fuck!” I yelled. He was clawing at the window, leaving nasty bits of rotting flesh on it. I screamed again. I felt more thuds. I looked around the truck. There were four more climbing over one another, trying to get at me.

  I froze. I wasn’t sure if I should throw the truck in drive and try to do a U-turn, or if I should throw it into reverse and blindly floor it in hopes that I didn’t hit anything substantial.

  “Think, Elaina, think!” I was scared out of my mind. I decided my little adventure ranked as the number one dumbest thing I had ever done. I felt like giving up again, and I thought maybe I should just open the door. Henry would move on.

  No, he wouldn’t. He would die alone, and I couldn’t do that to him.

  Everything was falling apart. Henry wasn’t my Henry anymore, some hooker-looking ex of his was trying to intimidate me, my best friend was lost emotionally, my brother was no longer himself, and the rest of my family was probably all true dead. Let’s not even get into what state the country is in.

  The undeads continued to beat themselves against the truck, as I wallowed in my depression. I saw a bright light come up behind me. At first, I thought it was lightning. The thunder was so loud right then that I barely heard the gunshots. I looked around me and there was rotting undead goo all over the driver’s side.

  I wasn’t sure who was shooting back there. No one knew I had left so it couldn’t have been Henry. I wasn’t going to open the door, just in case it was some sort of freak.

  My head was spinning, dizzy with thoughts and fear. There was a banging on the passenger side window. I screamed again, as I looked over. “Henry!”

  I couldn’t believe it. I had never been so glad to see him. He was waving at me to come out the passenger side. I scooted over and, as soon as I unlocked the door, he whipped it open and pulled me out of the truck. He held me tightly, spinning me around in the pouring rain. I wrapped my legs around his waist. For a moment, I forgot what was happening right before us.

  “Elaina! Oh, my god! I thought I lost you forever.” We were both drenched in a matter of seconds. I let go and stood on the sidewalk.

  He held my face with both of his hands and wiped my eyes, not that it mattered. He planted a passionate kiss on my lips. I loved him so much.

  “I love you,” Henry said, as he pulled away. “I thought you were gone.” I began to sob. “Love, why did you leave without telling us? Don’t ever do that again!” He couldn’t decide if he was angry or relieved.

  “It was real; I felt her!” I was trying to speak through my tears, loud enough for the storm not to drown me out.

  “What was real? What did you feel?”

  “My mother. It was real.”

  “Love, what was real?”

  “I dreamt about her. She was searching for me. I felt her pain. I feel her.” I put my hand over my heart and continued sobbing.

  “Oh, love.” He pulled me close again. Claire came running up to us.

  “Come on! Let’s get into Sophie’s truck.” She grabbed our arms, and we bolted for the truck.

  Nick hopped out so Henry and I could get into the back seat. He ran to the very back and opened the lift gate so he could get in. All the doors slammed shut. I started shivering, and my te
eth were chattering. I was soaked to the bone.

  “Nick, there’s a blanket in the bin,” Sophie spoke up. “Grab it for Elaina.” He pulled out a thin blanket and wrapped it around me.

  “Thank you,” I said through my sobs and chattering teeth. Henry wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. Claire had turned around in the front seat, and she grabbed my hand. She rubbed the top gently with her thumb.

  “Elaina, you scared the shit out of us.” She was speaking to me in a concerned manner, but she was lecturing me at the same time. I had been waiting for a reprimanding from someone in the truck. I couldn’t look at her. “Why did you go?”

  “I had a dream that my mom was looking for me. I felt her. It was so real.” I was ashamed of what I had put them through. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s all right, love. We’re together now.” Henry rocked me, holding me tight to his body. His arms were always a comfortable place to land.

  “I had a similar dream about Mom.”

  I whipped around. “You did? When?” I wiped my nose on my arm.

  “Last night,” Nick mumbled. “I didn't want to say anything to you, though.”

  I gasped. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I felt that I needed to convince Henry that we needed to go look for my mom. “Henry, it has to be true. If we both had a dream…”

  He cut me off. “Listen, love, those are dreams. It’s just your mind’s way of working out your problems.”

  “But what if she is out there, alone and scared?” I pleaded.

  “I highly doubt it,” he said as he stroked my cheek with his thumb. I looked down at my lap, and fiddled with my fingers. Henry pulled me into him again. “I want to believe that she or someone else’s loved one is alive, but the possibility is really slim.”

  “If there is a slim chance, I want to try to find her!” I was becoming irate.

  “There’s no way. We barely have enough supplies to get us through the night. And we are severely low on gas.” I looked at him in disbelief. In my heart, I felt that she was still out there.

  When I looked at Nick for some assistance, he shook his head. I pulled myself completely away from Henry. I was acting like I was a two-year-old who didn’t get her way. “There has to be a way! Please, Nick. Please help me convince him!”

  “Listen, I love Mom, but it’s far too dangerous to try to go get her…if there is even a her to get!” I didn’t like his response, either.

  “How is it any more dangerous than all of us leaving and trying to find that Gunther assface that you two so desperately want to get to?” Everyone was silent, looking at one another.

  “Henry, take Nick and get into your truck. We are going to go look for their mum,” Sophie said. I was shocked. “She has a point. Let us see if we can get to her home. If she isn’t there, then we will go find Gunther.”

  Henry looked back at Nick, then opened the door and readied himself to hop out into the storm. He looked back at me for a moment. I could tell he wanted to say something. I felt Nick put his hand on my shoulder. “I hope we find her, sis. I hope this is worth it.” Then he hopped out.

  Henry was still looking at me. I didn’t have anything to say. Then they both closed their doors and headed to Henry’s truck.

  Chapter 14

  T

  he ride to my mom’s was uncomfortably silent. We followed behind Henry and Nick. Since we couldn’t get to the highway from where I had stopped, Henry took us up to the next on-ramp. Luckily, there was enough space for us to squeak through.

  The highway was congested, but we were able to push some of the vehicles out of the way. It was a slow process, but we were getting through. Eventually, the storm passed and the sun was shining, which made it a bit easier.

  Some vehicles were abandoned, others had true deads in them. Henry slowed down and pulled off onto the emergency lane. “What’s he doing?” Claire asked.

  “I don’t know.” Sophie pulled up behind Henry’s truck. “Stay in the truck, both of you, until I figure out what he’s doing.” She glared back at me, then hopped out. I had a feeling she was trying to send me a message. I had no idea why she would think I would do the opposite of what she wanted.

  ***

  “Nick, stay in the truck. I need to speak to Sophie.” Nick nodded, while looking off into the distance. He was exhausted and just wanted a few minutes of peace within the madness.

  Henry jumped out and closed the door. He and Sophie walked a distance away from the trucks.

  “What’s up, darling?”

  “My head. It’s starting to rage.” He tried not to show his pain.

  “Are you feeling a little bit of nausea?”

  Henry swallowed hard. “Yeah.” He rubbed his temples.

  “Maybe a hangover?” Sophie crossed her arms across her chest, and rolled her eyes. “I’m sure your drinking isn’t helping, Henry. It’s probably causing it to come on faster.”

  “Please, Sophie,” he groaned in annoyance.

  “You need to stop with your boozing. We talked about this ages ago, remember?”

  “Leave it,” he growled. He rubbed his temples again, then pressed his palms into his eyes, trying to alleviate some of the pressure.

  “Shit, Henry. We need to get you a proper supply, or you are just going to continue to crash.”

  “I know.” Henry looked at Sophie and took a deep breath. His eyes were becoming gray again. It was happening faster than usual, and he knew Sophie was right. His drinking was probably causing him to crash harder and faster. He needed to do something. He needed a donation sooner rather than later.

  “What are you thinking?” He didn’t respond. “Henry…you are not thinking…? No. Absolutely not!”

  “I have to do something, Sophie!”

  “We can’t!”

  “What do I have to lose?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Your life! My life! They will kill us both!” She raged at him in fear.

  “I do believe we lost our lives ages ago.”

  Sophie looked down and kicked at a rock. The silence was uncomfortable. He rubbed his tired, achy eyes.

  “Heard, but we can’t. Not yet.”

  “This is so fucking frustrating!” he yelled, then grabbed his head. “I hate this. I really do.”

  Sophie rubbed his shoulder. “I know. We’ll think of something. See if Nick will drive for a while so you can get some rest.”

  Henry nodded. “We need to get some gas first. You’re probably near out.”

  “The low fuel light just came on when I put it in park.”

  “The cars around here look virtually unscathed,” he said, looking around.

  “Okay, we will check them out.”

  “Right.” They both turned and headed back to their trucks.

  ***

  “What do you think they are talking about?” Claire asked.

  “I don’t know, but something isn’t right.” My skepticism was out in the open, speaking for itself, as usual. “I saw Henry grab his head a few times, like he was in pain. I don’t want to see him hurting.”

  “I’m worried,” Claire quietly uttered.

  “Me, too. Very much.” I took a deep breath.

  We sat in silence until Sophie opened the door. “All right, ladies. We are going to drive up to those vehicles and see if they have gas in them. If they do, I want to check them out for any supplies that would be useful.”

  “Aye, aye, captain,” I said, while staring out the window. Sophie sighed. She started the truck, and we drove up to the three vehicles that were blocking the highway.

  Henry was walking around the cars, securing them, checking for life or undeads. Once he had cleared the area, he waved at us to come out as he checked the gas tank on the first car.

  “Bloody hell. This one is near empty.” He stood up and rubbed his neck.

  “Henry! This one seems to be about half full,” Sophie yelled.

  “Of course it has to be the one in the middle. I can’
t even squeeze myself between to get to the gas door. Fuck me.”

  Nick stood with his hands on his hips next to Henry, surveying the situation.

  “We’ll just push this one out of the way.” Nick pointed at the car to the right as he spoke. “Let me see if it’s unlocked. If not, I’ll get it open.” Nick smirked as he held up his fist, then put his hands on his hips like a super hero.

  Henry chuckled a little. “I can get it open. I have lock picking tools.”

  Nick waved Henry off. He walked up to the passenger side and, sure enough, it was unlocked. Luckily, the keys were in the ignition. “I’ve got keys!” He climbed through the car and tried to start it. It took a few tries but, eventually, he got it to turn over. There was enough gas to drive over to the side of the highway before it sputtered out.

  Claire and I went over to the car and started searching it for supplies. I popped the trunk, and it was like hitting the jackpot. “Water!” I was jumping up and down. There were three unopened cases of water. Claire came running back to the trunk. She began to jump up and down with me, clapping her hands like a happy seal.

  “Oh, my god! That’s wonderful!” It was the little things, like not dying from dehydration that made us excited. We unloaded the cases of water and put them in Henry’s truck.

  “Nice score, ladies.” Henry smiled, while he was siphoning gas out of the abandoned car. I couldn’t help it. I smiled back. I was so elated that we had more water. We were already so low back at the apartment that we had started to ration it out.

  “This isn’t it. Just wait and see.” I felt like a kid in a candy store. I walked back to the other car. Claire was pulling out cases of different snack food items. There was even a huge pack of quilted toilet paper. I was so excited to see that. What girl wouldn’t be?

  “Someone must have hit up the warehouse store before they decided to take off,” Claire said as we cleared out the rest of the car, finding tissues and some clean blankets in the back seat. I definitely needed those tissues since I was in touch with my psychotic, hyperemotional, crying side. We headed to the car Henry was siphoning from, but there wasn’t anything worth taking in that one or the last one.