by Cora Black
“I’m gonna come again,” she whispered, her head rocking back onto her shoulders. “God, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna—oh, unnh, oh!”
Ben felt her contract around him, and that was it. He was done. His cock shoved itself all the way inside of her and broke apart, jerking forward and back as it spilled all of his seed inside. “Mmmm, that feels good,” Charlotte murmured, bringing a hand down to play around in the wetness between her legs as she pulled off of him. “That’s nice.”
“Really? It’s not gross?” Ben asked. He had no idea how it would feel to have someone explode inside of you like that.
Charlotte shook her head. “The opposite. It’s so fucking hot.” She removed her hand from her vagina and brought it up to her mouth, sticking one finger inside. “Mmm. Tastes good.”
“Jesus Christ,” Ben muttered. “I don’t… I don’t deserve you.”
“You do,” Charlotte said back, leaning forward to kiss him lightly on the lips before settling in between his legs and resting her head on his chest. “You really do.”
They lay like that until all of the light faded from the windows, completely silent and slipping in and out of sleep for what felt like hours. At one point, Ben blinked awake, and for a second he was confused as to where he was until he heard Charlotte’s steady, reassuring breathing.
“Do you think there’s a god?” Ben whispered into the dark, blindly reaching for Charlotte’s hand. He wasn’t even sure if she was still awake, but he needed that contact. He needed to feel her.
“I do,” Charlotte whispered back.
“What do you think happens… after?”
“After life?” Charlotte asked. Ben didn’t say anything, but she must have gotten the impression the answer was yes, because she kept going. “I think we go to a warm place, someplace without judgment, without pain. That’s what I think. Or at least that’s what I hope happens.”
“Do you think they can see us? Dead people?” Ben asked.
Charlotte was silent for a moment. “I don’t know.”
“I worry about that sometimes,” Ben said. “What Danielle thinks about what I’m doing. If she’s disappointed. If she’s hurt.”
“So I was right earlier,” Charlotte said, but there was no note of victory in her voice.
“I guess so, I don’t know,” Ben said, feeling uncertain. “It’s not like I don’t know she’s gone. It’s not like I’m waiting for her or anything. But… I just wonder. What she’s like up there. If she’s happy. If she’s mad at me for fucking her life up.”
Charlotte turned on her side and scooted closer to Ben, their naked legs tangling together. “I think her love for you is as strong as it always was,” Charlotte whispered before pressing soft kisses against Ben’s nose.
“I just hope she forgives me,” Ben whispered. “For not doing more. For not saving her.”
Charlotte’s fingers brushed against his forehead, gently rubbing the tension away. “One day, I’m going to convince you that it wasn’t your fault.”
“I don’t think you will, baby,” Ben said, and he realized after the fact that that was the first time he’d called her that outside of sex. “But I like that you keep trying.”
“I’m never going to stop. I’m never going to give up. It’s just not in my blood.”
Ben clutched her tighter to his body, almost wishing he could absorb her, keep her close at all times, keep her safe. But in the back of his mind he wondered, Maybe I am poison. Maybe everything I touch is destined to wither and die.
He stared at Charlotte in the dark, and fear still grabbed at him. Was he just going to hurt her, take that precious courage and crush it under his feet?
He didn’t know. But for now, at least for the night, he wasn’t too afraid to try.
Chapter Seven
Word travels fast in a motorcycle club. Charlotte shouldn’t have been surprised by that, considering the relatively small size of the Titans, but it was still a little odd to see how the younger members of the group immediately modified their attitudes toward Ben and, by extension, toward her. There was this new air of respect, as if Ben was several decades older than he really was. It must have been because of the new plan to partner up with the Californian Browns, Charlotte figured. Ben was bringing new money into the club, and a new perspective along with it. The club was no longer going to sit around and wait for business to come to them. They were going to seek it out or, better yet, make it with their own hands.
But there was still something nagging at Charlotte’s mind. More than one thing, if she was being honest with herself. The girls. That was the main problem. Ben had gotten permission to secure the funds necessary to improve the girls’ living and working conditions, but he hadn’t yet brought up the topic itself to any of the senior members. Whenever Charlotte pestered him over the next week about it, Ben would say, “Soon. Soon, Charlotte. I’ll handle it.” And she bristled a little bit, annoyed that he was placating her rather than actively going and doing something. In the back of her mind, she worried that he wasn’t going to do anything about it, but then she’d admonished herself. He hasn’t done anything to deserve your distrust. He’ll come through. He’ll do it for you.
But finally, some ten or twelve days later, Ben rolled over next to her in bed and said, “Today’s the day. I’m gonna talk to them about the girls.”
“Why today?”
“Because we got good news from the Browns. They’re down. I was waiting for confirmation that they’d be willing to trade with us first. Now I can go forward and say, yo, this is what we should do with the money,” Ben explained.
“Smart,” Charlotte said, leaning in to give him a sweet soft kiss. “Smarty McSmartypants.”
“I’m gonna tell the boys first,” Ben said, his eyes hazy and unfocused, like he was imagining how those conversations would go. “I want them to feel like they’re a part of the decision, you know.”
“You’re a good leader,” Charlotte said, feeling the warmth of pride grow even bigger in her chest. She couldn’t help but give herself a lot of the credit for this transformation. It was like she had molded the man of her dreams with her own two hands.
In as minute she followed Ben downstairs to meet with the boys. She went ahead and poured herself a beer from the bar while Ben started gathering the boys together. Charlotte was really getting into the habit of day-drinking. She never thought she would feel this comfortable drinking and smoking in the light of day, where people could see her. But she did. Bringing the bitter liquid to her lips, she felt a little fire in her belly, partly from the burn of the alcohol, partly from the victory of rebellion. It was the sweetest feeling, being bad.
“All right, okay, listen up,” Ben was yelling by the time Charlotte finished her beer. Most if not all of the junior members of the club had arrived by this point, and they were all crowded around Ben, who stood in the center of the bar waving his arms.
“Tonight, we start off to California with the blow. Same deal as ever, we use the buddy system, stay together. Noah, you’re the scout. You ride ten minutes ahead of us, stay ten miles above the speed limit, and report back on the phone if you sniff out any cops. You guys know the drill.”
“So why you fucking talkin’ our ear off?” Axel said from the other side of the bar. He didn’t raise his voice or anything. But he still held sway over the crowd, all of the boys going quiet while he stared icily at Ben. Charlotte remembered that Axel hadn’t contributed to the fight in the bar from a few weeks ago and smiled to herself. It was like she was in on a special secret that nobody else knew. This guy wasn’t shit. She wished the rest of the boys would notice so he would lose his power to intimidate them.
“I’m talking,” Ben started, his voice going hard and mean while he walked slowly through the sea of bodies until he was standing right next to Axel, “because there’s another fucking part to this mission, asshole. So shut the fuck up and listen.”
Axel smiled, the scars on his face stretching out as his mou
th opened to bare his teeth. “Yeah, go right ahead, boss.”
Ben rolled his eyes and turned to face the rest of the crowd. “The ladies’ club. It’s got to be cleaned up. If we don’t fix shit over there, the girls are gonna get pissed off and something bad is going to happen.”
“Like what?” Donnie, Axel’s little buddy, asked on the other side of the crowd.
“Like one of the girls runs and tips off the police, that’s what,” Ben said. Charlotte caught on to his strategy. He had to sell the plan to the boys strategically rather than morally. They wouldn’t all commit to it unless they thought it was in their best interest. “It’ll happen sooner or later.”
“The Lions have been working girls for decades and it’s been okay for them,” Theo said.
“Exactly,” Ben shot back. “Because the girls over there are treated nice. They’re happy. We got to make it like that for our girls, or we’re fucked.”
“What’s this got to do with the California mission?” Axel asked.
Ben turned back to him, an annoyed expression on his face, but he said, “Good question. We’re making an investment, that’s what it’s got to do with it. Some of the funds from the mission today will go into our pockets, and some of them will go toward the girls.”
About a third of the boys in the bar immediately started protesting, while another half of the room shouted back, “Let him talk! Let him talk!”
“No, it’s okay!” Ben yelled over the cacophony. “I’m done. That’s it.”
“That’s it?” Axel yelled, his stupid fake grin falling off his face. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means this is what we’re doing,” Ben said. “Like it or not, bitch about it if you want to, but it’s what’s best for the club. So pick your balls up off the floor and deal with it if you want to make more cash and keep everybody safe. Otherwise, there’s the fucking door.”
Ben walked back through the crowd, heading toward Charlotte. “How’d I do?” he asked, but the smile that spread across his face suggested he already knew the answer.
Charlotte grinned back at him, throwing her arms around his neck as he approached her. “You did good, bub.”
“The boys will get used to it,” Ben said, almost like he was convincing himself. “They’ve been aimless for so long. Maybe this will give them… well, I don’t know.”
“Purpose?” Charlotte suggested. Once again that beam of pride in her chest grew and grew with every passing second as she stared at Ben squirm in the seat next to her.
“Yeah, yeah, I guess,” Ben said, ducking his head. He’s too shy to even look at me when I’m praising him, Charlotte thought. But we’ll get there one day.
“They want a leader,” Charlotte said. “They don’t know it yet. But you can give it to them. The guidance they need.”
“I’m you now, huh?” Ben said with a smirk. “Counseling people and shit.”
Charlotte laughed and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. “Yeah, I guess that’s fair.”
Ben groaned a little and nuzzled the side of Charlotte’s neck. “I gotta go. I’m gonna head over to the ladies’ club, tell the girls who can speak English what we’re doing.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” Charlotte asked.
“No, no, you can’t. You got to go to work later today, right? It’ll take me a few hours to get there and back,” Ben explained.
“You memorized my schedule?” Charlotte asked with a smile.
Ben blushed and looked to the side. “Shut up,” he said in a low voice.
“I really like you, Ben Wiseman,” Charlotte whispered, leaning in to kiss his lips.
“I like you,” he murmured back as he deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue inside for a minute before pulling away from her and groaning. “I gotta go.”
“Go! Go, I’ll see you later,” Charlotte said, smacking him playfully on the ass. “I’ll just sit here and drink before I gotta head into the office.”
Ben grabbed her hand, and for a second Charlotte thought he was going to tug her along to the job with him, but instead he brought it to his mouth and kissed it, causing butterflies to erupt in Charlotte’s stomach. Ben dropped her hand and backed away slowly, staring at her as he crossed the bar. “See you later.”
“Later,” Charlotte said, smiling at him until he walked out of the door. She went around the bar and poured herself another beer.
She sat by herself for a few minutes, enjoying the homey feeling of the club. It was so nice, feeling like she belonged here. When Uncle Wally first offered this job to her, she would have never imagined that it would go this far, that it would utterly reshape her life the way it had.
Charlotte heard the sounds of footsteps approaching her. Somebody was probably walking around her to get to the bathroom opposite the stairs, she thought, but then the person came to stop right next to her.
She turned to see Axel sliding into the seat next to her and had to suppress the snarl that threatened to spread across her face in response. “Can I help you?” she asked, the slightest edge of sarcasm seeping into her voice despite her attempt at civility.
“Why, yes, yes, you can,” Axel said in response.
Charlotte’s upper lip curled in disgust. She got hit on pretty regularly these days hanging around bikers, but most of the time it was from other clubs. Ben had gotten into the habit of letting her deal with the gross assholes herself rather than threatening or punching them to get them to shut up. He’d never let her out of his sight if he knew assholes within his own club were trying to make a move. “You know, I don’t think I can help you, buddy. Sorry. Try again later,” she said to Axel, turning back to her drink.
“Okay,” Axel said, “but I was just trying to do you a favor, you know. Let you know what’s going to happen if you don’t back the fuck off.”
Charlotte put her drink down and turned back to face Axel, whose smile had slipped from his face. “Back off from what?”
“Messing with the club,” Axel said, his face screwed up in annoyance. “You’ve been sticking your fingers in it for over a month now and me and the boys are done with it.”
She rolled her eyes and took a deep drink. “Yeah, okay, sure. I’m sure the boys listen to you.”
“Not all of them, no,” Axel said. “But the ones with brains, yeah, they’re pretty pissed off. Pretty sick of seeing you around, acting like you belong. Acting like you have a right to interfere.”
Charlotte clicked her teeth in annoyance. “Interesting to see you acting like you’re the boss of this MC,” she said. “How long have you been a member, Axel? A year? Two?”
“How long have you?” Axel shot back. “Oh, right, you’re not a fucking member, yet you’re making plans for the club, pushing Benny boy to take money out of our pockets.”
“What Ben does is his own business,” Charlotte said. “You got a problem with it, you should talk to him.”
“We all know Ben doesn’t think for himself these days,” Axel said. “I’d say he was mesmerized by your pussy if I thought he was ever capable of stringing more than one sentence together at a time. Point is, we’re done with it. It ends today.”
“Yeah, okay, I’m done with this conversation,” she said, slamming her drink down on the surface of the bar. Charlotte got up and headed for the stairs.
Axel followed her, and she was just about to scale the steps up to Ben’s apartment, where there was a lock to keep Axel out, but he pulled her by the back of her hair and slammed her against the wall. Charlotte yelped, but before she could make any other noise, he slapped a hand over her mouth.
“I wouldn’t scream if I were you,” Axel whispered, clasping his hand harder over her mouth. “Ben ain’t here to help you, and none of his fucking lackeys are, either. If you scream like a bitch, the other boys might start getting ideas,” he warned.
Charlotte started trembling pathetically. Stop shaking. Stop shaking. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to get out of this situation, she said to he
rself. But her heartbeat kept pounding hard in her ears, no matter how hard she tried to calm down. Don’t show him you’re scared. Don’t give him the satisfaction.
“Are we gonna scream or not?” Axel whispered, pressing his arm harder onto her shoulder, pinning her to the wall. When she didn’t respond, he pushed harder, and she almost bit into his palm in pain. She finally nodded her head in agreement, and he pulled his hand away from her mouth but kept his arm on her body, keeping her still.
“What do you want from me?” Charlotte asked, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible.