Love & Light

by Michele Shriver

  The opening chord of the CD’s first song, Blue Skies and Melancholy, sounds over the speakers and I lean back in my seat to listen to it, getting lost in lyrics that seem like they were written about me.

  ~Landon~

  I wish I could have told Kori that I knew the band’s lead singer personally, but she still seems impressed that I have a signed copy of the CD. We listen to the first few songs in silence, then my personal favorite, Hanover Haze, comes on and I can’t help it. I start to sing along with it.

  When Kori doesn’t even tease me for my off-key singing voice, I glance her way and realize she’s dozed off. Nice going, Grayson. You’re such a great date that you lulled her to sleep. I don’t wake her, though. It has been a long day, and we did hike probably close to five miles.

  I stop singing along, though, and turn the volume down a little bit. Not all the way, because I want the music to help me stay awake for the rest of the drive, especially since it’s getting dark.

  A New Horizon has been back touring various college bars in and around New Hampshire lately and tickets are almost impossible to get. I wonder if I might be able to use my very tenuous link to the band and try to get some and take Kori to hear them, since she seems to be a big fan. And she did say she wanted to see me again, even if not in those exact words.

  She doesn’t stir until I pull up in front of her dorm. “Wake up, sleepyhead.”

  She stretches and looks embarrassed. “I can’t believe I fell asleep. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. Riding in a car always makes me tired too, and we put in some good exercise today,” I say. “Besides, you didn’t miss anything. Well, other than me singing off-key, that is.”

  Kori laughs. “I am sorry I missed that,” she teases. “Thank you. I had a great time today.”

  “Me too. Want to meet for breakfast tomorrow?”

  She hesitates, her hand on the door handle. “I like to eat alone.”

  I’m not surprised. “That doesn’t mean you can’t eat with me tomorrow,” I counter. “What do you say?”

  “Okay. Not too early, though.”

  “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not getting up at the crack of dawn both days of the weekend,” I say with a laugh. “How about nine thirty?”

  “That works. Meet you at the dining hall?’

  “Sure,” I say. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Kori.” I’m already looking forward to it.

  I make sure she gets inside okay, then go park my car in the student lot not far from the residence halls and make the walk back to my own dorm.

  As I let myself in my room, Lucas pulls his earbuds out and sit up in his bed. “Hey, buddy. How’d the date go?”

  I set the backpack and picnic blanket on the edge of my bed and sit down. “Really, really good.” I reach down to untie my shoes. Kori’s not the only who’s tired. I know I’ll sleep well tonight, and probably dream about her and those kisses.

  “Yeah?” My roommate arches an eyebrow up. “You planning to see her again?”

  “Tomorrow morning for breakfast.” I kick off my shoes and lay back on my bed. “And I’m already planning something else pretty big.”

  Lucas laughs. “Dude, you’re falling already.”

  “Maybe,” I say. “Probably.” There’s no point in denying it. Instead, I pull out my phone. Time to see if I can score the hottest ticket in all of New England. To see A New Horizon live in concert.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  ~Landon~

  I meet Kori in front of her building the next morning and we head over to the dining hall. “How’d you sleep?” I ask her as we walk.

  “Like a baby,” she says. “That hike wore me out yesterday. I guess maybe I’m not in as good of shape as I like to think.”

  “You did great. It’s not an easy hike. A lot of girls couldn’t have handled that kind of climb.” I regret the words as soon as they’re out, even before Kori gives me that look. The ‘did I really hear that right’ look, complete with a raised eyebrow.

  “Oh yeah?” she asks. “Have you taken a lot of us members of the weaker sex to Mount Monadnock before?”

  “Hey, now,” I protest. “First, I never said anything about a weaker anything. And no, I’ve never taken a girl there before.”

  “So you just assume most of us couldn’t handle it?” A smile tugs at her lips, like she’s enjoying torturing me now.

  “Heck, plenty of guys can’t handle it,” I say, hoping to redeem myself a little bit. “I figured you could, though, because you’re awesome.” I give her my most charming smile and open the door for her.

  “Smooth,” she says, laughing. “Nice recovery.”

  “I try.”

  I hand my meal card to the lady at the door, and she swipes it through while looking at Kori.

  “Not eating alone today?” she asks.

  Kori shakes her head and hands over her own card. “Not today, no.” I notice she looks down as she says it.

  They’re serving French toast today, which is one of my favorites, so I go to that line while Kori goes to get some cereal. We meet back up at a table by the window.

  “Do you always eat alone?” I think I already know the answer before I ask.

  She shrugs. “Sometimes. I don’t always like people, you know?”

  It’s the kind of statement that would make some people dismiss her as strange or a freak, but I totally get it. “Yeah. People can be overrated sometimes.” Especially when they’re constantly asking if you’re okay or expressing hollow, meaningless apologies for your loss. “Present company excluded, I hope?”

  “Obviously,” Kori says. “I’m here, aren’t I?” She takes a drink of orange juice. “What are you doing after breakfast?”

  I wonder if that’s an invitation to do something together. “I’ll probably head to the rec center to work out.” It’s what I usually do on Sunday mornings, then study in the afternoon.

  “Yeah?” She pauses with her spoon in the air, and her eyes seem to light up a bit. “Do you want company?”

  “I wouldn’t mind it,” I say. “Why? Are you hoping to do some more boxing?”

  “Yes, and it’s more fun with you,” she says. “If you don’t mind, that is.”

  “I already said I didn’t.” I’m glad she’s taken to the boxing thing. It makes me feel like I’ve helped her in some way.

  “I promise I won’t cry all over you this time.”

  “It’s okay if you do. Sometimes you just need to let things out.” I take a bite of French toast and wash it down with milk before changing the subject. “What are you doing on Friday night?”

  “My social card isn’t exactly overflowing these days, so if you’re asking, I’m saying yes.”

  Her attitude and demeanor is so different now than a couple weeks ago, and I’m happy I’ve been able to break down her walls a little bit and get her to trust me and want to spend time with me. I think she’s going to really like what I’m about to tell her, but I decide to play it a little casual still. “I’m asking,” I say. “I promised you dinner at a sit-down restaurant, and I want to make good on that. I thought maybe we could drive to Hanover.”

  “Okay, but why Hanover?” She wrinkles her brows. “Do you have something against staying in Plymouth that I don’t know about?”

  I shake my head. “Nah, there’s nothing wrong with Plymouth. It’s just that A New Horizon is playing in Hanover and I sort of got us tickets.” I struggle to keep my tone nonchalant.

  “You what?” Kori’s eyes grow wide. “You got tickets to see A New Horizon? In Hanover? How on earth did you manage that?”

  I can tell she’s impressed, that her opinion of me probably moved up a notch or two, and I’d love to tell her it was no big deal at all. “Oh, I called in a few contacts,” I say, although it was actually my stepmother calling in hers. I’m glad her clients like her, and that one of them happened to marry Chase Radcliffe’s cousin. It might be the closest I get to fame, but I’ll take it. “You said you were a fan, so I thou
ght you’d like to see the band live. Just promise me not to swoon over Chase too much, okay?”

  “Swoon?” Kori laughs. “Does anyone actually do that anymore?”

  “I don’t know. You tell me.”

  “I don’t think so. At least I never have before,” she says. “I promise if I do decide to start swooning, it will be over you. Deal?”

  “Deal.” I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone swoon over me, and I’m happy to make Kori the first.

  ~Kori~

  Swooning. It sounds so 1920s. I can’t believe I just implied that I’ll swoon over Landon, but he did score tickets to see A New Horizon back in the town where they first got their start, back at the same club they used to play when Chase Radcliffe was in school at Dartmouth. Okay, an Ivy League rock star is pretty impressive, but so is getting tickets to the show that everyone who’s anyone wants to see. Landon earned the swoon.

  We head over to the rec center after breakfast, and the place is pretty empty. I like that, because I don’t really want to have an audience when I’m punching on that bag. Not that I plan—or expect—to break down again, but still...the fewer people around the better.

  We decide to share a bag, and I let Landon have first go at it. I like watching his intensity as he hits. His hair hangs in his eyes a little, which I think looks really hot, and he doesn’t break concentration to brush it aside. Instead, he’s focused only on that bag. I wonder if it’s still some pent up anger and hurt at the jerk who killed his mother or if he approaches everything in life with the same zeal.

  Either way, it’s contagious and when he steps back from the bag and says “Your turn,” I am ready.

  I remember the moves he taught me the last time we were here and bring in a few more I’ve practiced on my own. It feels good. Invigorating. Cathartic. But I don’t break down and cry this time, and maybe that’s a sign of healing in itself.

  “Wow. You’re becoming a regular Lucia Rijker,” Landon says when I stop to take a drink of water.

  The name doesn’t ring a bell. “I’m sorry. I don’t know who that is.”

  “Champion Dutch boxer,” he explains. “And dubbed ‘The most dangerous woman in the world.’”

  “Oh.” I take another drink and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “She’s pretty good then, huh?”

  He laughs. “Yeah, you could say that.”

  “So you know quite a bit about boxers, then?”

  “I guess.” He gives a shrug. “Does that surprise you?”

  “No,” I say. “Okay, maybe a little.”

  Now he smiles. “Good. Glad I can surprise you. I’m not just a dumb jock, you know.”

  “No, you’re not.” I admit I was a little skeptical at first, but he’s helped me in ways I never imagined. And all because I decided to get outside and watch a baseball practice.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  ~Kori~

  It seems like an eternity passes before Friday night arrives. I can’t remember the last time I looked forward to something as much as the concert. Not just the concert, though. Dinner, and spending more time with Landon. Sure, we’ve seen each other every day this week, in Psych class and at baseball practices and the home game the Panthers played this week, but I think we’re both anxious to get away from campus for a while.

  He’s chosen a steakhouse near downtown Hanover that seems a little upscale for a couple of college students to dine at prior to going to a music concert, but I’m not complaining. Instead, I study the menu trying to decide what to order. I look for a middle price range. My mother once told me that was a good approach for dinner out when someone else is paying. Don’t order the least expensive thing, because you might make them self-conscious, but it’s presumptuous to order the most expensive thing. It’s a lot to keep track of, and exactly the kind of advice my mom was good at. I’m thankful she managed to impart this jewel of wisdom on me before she passed.

  “Order anything you want,” Landon says. “We’re celebrating.”

  Even still, I’m not going to order the prime rib. “What are we celebrating?” I ask. “Seeing A New Horizon in concert?”

  He shakes his head and laughs. “You do have a one-track mind, don’t you?” I know he’s teasing me because I’ve talked about this concert all week. “No. We both aced the Psychology test and I pitched a shutout.”

  It’s true. It’s been a good week on a lot of fronts. So good that I can’t wait to see Dr. Morris next week and report my progress. “Because you’re the best pitcher on the team,” I tell him. “And as for the test, we made great study buddies.”

  Our server comes, and I order the Nantucket Seafood Gratin, while Landon orders a rib eye. His meal is more expensive than mine, so I feel like I did okay and would make my mom proud. At least I hope so.

  “Now I know you like seafood,” Landon says. “I’ll remember that.”

  “Oh yeah?” I raise an eyebrow in curiosity. “Do you have something in mind?”

  He shrugs. “I might.”

  “You do realize after taking me to the top of Mount Monadnock on our first date, and then to see my favorite band on the second, you’ve set the bar pretty high,” I say, teasing him a little.

  “Is that a challenge to top it?” His blue eyes twinkle, and I wonder if he’s already got something in mind.

  “No,” I say, shaking my head. “You don’t have to keep trying to outdo yourself. I’m happy just spending time with you.” It takes a second for what I said to really sink in. Happy. I said I was happy.

  “Me too, but I still might try to outdo myself anyway.” He says it in a way that makes me think he definitely will.

  “I won’t complain,” I say as I take a drink of water.

  “So tell me how you became such a big New Horizon fan,” Landon urges. “I doubt it’s only because of Chase Radcliffe’s dreamy blond hair and green eyes,” he says, rolling his eyes and laughing.

  “Dreamy? Did you really say dreamy?” Now I’m laughing and I almost choke on my water. “Because that sounds a little sixth grade. I only said he was hot.”

  “Yes, I remember.” His face takes on a look of mock offense.

  “Hey, I said you were hot too,” I remind him. “And no, it’s not about Chase’s looks. I really like their music and I feel like I can connect with it. Some of their songs really resonate with me and what I’ve been through. Does that make sense?”

  Landon nods. “Yeah. It totally makes sense. It’s the same for me.”

  ~Landon~

  The food is great, but I think we’re both anxious to get over to the club for the concert. It’s a pretty small venue, and I want to make sure we can find decent seats, especially since I know how much this band means to Kori. I get it, though, because their music helped me through some rough times too.

  We get to the club, which is only a few blocks from the Dartmouth campus, and I give the guy at the door my name and tell him there should be some tickets held for me. When he picks up a phone to call someone, I get a little nervous. There better not be some mix-up with the tickets. I’ve got a lot riding on this. I talked to Liz again last night, though, and she reassured me that everything would be fine and the tickets would be there.

  A couple I’ve never met before comes to the door. “You’re Landon?” the guy asks. Even though I’ve never met him, there’s something familiar about his look. He’s tall, with blond hair and the woman with him has light brown hair, which is pulled back in a ponytail and tucked through a cap with the band’s name on it.

  “Yes. Landon Grayson.” I hold out my hand.

  He shakes it. “Colin Radcliffe, and my wife Taylor. Nice to meet you.”

  As soon as he says his name, I understand why he seemed kind of familiar. He looks a little like his cousin, the band’s singer. “Likewise,” I say. “This is my...” my voice trails off. I’m not sure how to introduce Kori. If I say ‘my girlfriend’ is that too presumptuous? If I just say ‘friend,’ am I insulting her? I settle on neither. “This is Kor
i Walsh.”

  We finish up introductions and greetings, then Colin’s wife says to me, “So you’re Liz’s stepson, huh?”

  “That’s right.”

  “I was surprised she got married again, but thrilled for her,” Taylor says. “She helped me a lot.”

  I nod my head, unsure what to say. It’s none of my business what she was in therapy for. “Thanks for arranging the tickets for us. We’re both big fans.”

  “I was jealous when I saw Landon has an autographed CD,” Kori says.

  “No need to be jealous,” Colin tells her. “We can probably arrange for you to get one too.” He gestures in the direction of the stage. “Come on. You guys are sitting with us. We’ve got a table right up front.”

  “Seriously? Wow.” Getting the tickets was one thing, now we’re going to have prime seats too. “Liz didn’t tell me you guys were going to be here.”

  “We wouldn’t miss it,” Taylor says. “This concert’s special for us.”

  “What she means is that we came here on our second date,” Colin explains. “Back when the band was just a weekend thing for Chase and his buddies.” He lets out a laugh. “None of us ever expected they’d hit it this big, but no one in the family gives Chase a hard time about wasting his college education now.” We get to a table right up front, probably less than ten feet from the stage. “Anyway, I hope this is okay.”

  “Okay?” I still can’t believe we’re going to be this close. “This is great.” I pull out a chair for Kori. “No swooning, remember?” I tease.

  She gives me that pretty smile that I like so much, the one I’ve been seeing a lot more of these days. “Only over you. I promise,” she says, then looks at Colin and Taylor. “I made the mistake of saying I thought Chase was hot. Now he won’t let me hear the end of it.”

  “Oh, Chase is hot. I completely agree,” Taylor says.

  “Hey now.” Colin tries to look offended, but I can tell he’s faking it.

  “Oh, silly.” Taylor leans over and kisses his cheek. “Lucky for me, good looks seem to run in the family.”

  They have such an easy rapport with each other, and I get caught up watching it. It’s easy to see how happy they are together, how in love. I’ve never been in love before, but someday I want something like this. I glance over at Kori and I wonder if she’s thinking the same thing I am. Could this be us? Can we have something like Colin and Taylor have?