by James Gault
Chapter 13
Antonia woke up the next morning feeling very excited. She had a plan. She had just lain in bed, letting ideas drift past her until one of them stopped on the way through and grabbed her attention. It was reliable method and it worked every time. And, of course, now she knew what to do, she couldn’t wait to discuss it with Ogg. So where was he?
Since their friendship started, Ogg had always turned up every morning just to say hello and disturb her calm but unfocussed thoughts with little exercises in correct thinking. And since the impending demise of existence had raises its ugly head, he had been almost her constant companion. So why, now, when she had the solution at her fingertips, had he decided to disappear? She sat on the end of her bed and drummed impatient fingers on her knees. Where could he be? He couldn’t be too busy. His powers gave him an infinite amount of time. And the good thing about infinity is that there’s always enough of it.
She drummed her fingers on her knees for about half an hour. To avoid boredom, she drummed out the rhythms of all the tunes she could remember. As time went on, she got more and more angry and the choice of music got more and more violent. By the end of the half hour she was so cross that no sensible Great Being who could have read her mind would have gone anywhere near her. And, predictably, Ogg stayed away.
Eventually Antonia decided that, in the long run, anger was pretty boring. If Ogg didn’t want to talk to her, fine. She would go ahead with her plan without him. All she needed to do was contact all of Ogg’s circle and get them together. She was sure that each and every friend of Ogg was special in some way, that all of them were pretty well correct thinkers, and that they all had a contribution to make to getting to the bottom of this current little difficulty. Ogg’s mistake, in her opinion, was his failure to get all this immense brainpower together in one place and reap the advantages of the synergy. All those nearly Great Beings in one room, their nearly great minds flowing with ideas and stimulating all the others, if that couldn’t solve the puzzle of the vanishing future, what could? It only flashed momentarily across her mind that she was maybe being a little immodest in classifying herself as one of the Nearly Greats. As a matter of fact, she had more difficulty in seeing the Nearly Greatness of Peregine Pratt. Weird doesn’t mean special, not in her dictionary anyway.
But how to put the Great Plan into practice? Having a Great Being as your best mate was particularly convenient. Travel and communication were a wheeze. And the advantages in terms of time management! The way Ogg whisked her off for a few days at a time and bought her back a split second after they had set off was like having a hundred hours or more in a day. But without Ogg, she would need some real time for her plan. She could go to school, or she could save the world. Simple as that! Nothing to be dome but to fake intense period pains and con her mother into letting her stay in her bedroom all day.
“Mum, my stomach’s so sore,” she yelled down the stairs, adding a spine-chilling moan for effect.
“Stay in bed till tomorrow, dear. It will get better. It’s just growing up.”
‘Really Mum, it’s like taking cakes off a baby,’ Antonia thought. But now she had the time, how to get Ogg’s army together in one place? How to get in touch with them even? She didn’t know any of them. Except Peregrine Pratt! Oh well, the last will be first!
Then she realised that even though Perg had shoved his spotty face close to hers and professed undying love, she didn’t know his phone number. Or his home address. Or even his email. Life was a lot harder without a Great Being to help you.
She powered up her computer and loaded up her chat room software. He must be registered somewhere. So, with one ear on the stairs for the sound of her mother’s footstep she began to search. She hadn’t found any Pratts when predictably, the sound of slipper on carpet reached her ears. She switched of the screen, and jumped into bed, just before her mother appeared in the door frame clutching a hot water bottle.
“This will help. It always helps me.”
“Thank you Mummy.” Antonia replied in a small voice, pulling the hot water bottle under the blankets and smiling the pained smile she had seen Elizabeth’s sister use in the television version of Pride and Prejudice when she was taken ill in Darcy’s friend’s house. Her Mum’s eyes filled with pity – she was a sucker for a cliché.
“Oh, Mum, I’m not much company for anyone like this. I think I would be better on my own.”
“Of course, dear. I’ll be downstairs watching old episodes of “Coronation Street”. Call me if you need me!”
Antonia struggled to manage a weakened smile, and, as soon as the door closed behind her mother, she jumped up and switched on her screen again.
She hit it lucky with her next try. Three Pratts, two of them Peregrines. Two people or two chat software accounts? Who could tell? Ah, well, go for it!
‘Hi Perg. How was desert? Ant.’
‘Desert fine! Mane coarse offul! Who you?’
She wasn’t sure how well her Pratt could spell, but she felt sure it was better than this. And anyway, her Pratt would certainly know who she was. She apologised and signed off, and then tried the second address, same opening message.
‘Ant, it’s you. How are you?’
Success!!
‘I’m OK. Need your help. Have you spoken to Ogg today?’
‘Haven’t seen him. It’s not like him.’
Antonia suddenly felt really sick. What was going on? Had the future come and swallowed Ogg up already?
‘Has he ever disappeared like this before?’ she asked.
‘Not since I’ve known him.’
‘It’s really serious then. I have a plan. We need to talk. This is too slow. What’s your mobile phone number?’
They exchanged numbers and Antionia crept under her blankets. She hoped her mother was safely engrossed in the adventures of her favourite soap characters and not sitting downstairs with suspicious ears cocked. Antonia had always regarded her parents as a touch on the naive side but the excitement of wrongdoing seemed to make her suspicious. So she cuddled up in the darkness and whispered conspiratorially to Perg. It gave her a strange sense of satisfaction. Ogg’s rational and matter-of-fact way of whizzing around in time and space might be effective, but it was essentially boring. She was coming to the opinion that maybe she was having more fun with Mr. Spotty.
“My idea is to get together with all Ogg’s friends and form an army to save the world.”
She heard a low whistle from the other end of the line.
“Ogg’s army! I like it.”
In fact, Peregrine wasn’t so sure that it was a good plan. Although he personally had difficulties getting on with anybody, his whole outlook on life was governed by a devout wish that all the people of the world plus any extraneous aliens who might be around could live together in peace and harmony. There was a touch of aggression in Antonia’s plan which made him uneasy. And what exactly was this ‘army’ going to do? But Peregrine was in love. Anything Antonia said was OK by him. And there was always the chance that she wasn’t thinking of ‘army’ in the military sense.
“The problem is that the only friend of Ogg’s I know is you”
“It’s a small army, then.”
“If that was a joke, I’m not impressed.”
“Sorry. If it’s any help, I know another couple of Ogg’s friends.”
Antonia pushed her head and arms out of the blankets and reached silently for a paper and pencil from the desk beside her bed.
“Names, email addresses and phone numbers!” she commanded.
“I only know their names.”
There was a pause while Peregrine waited for Antonia’s flashes of frustration to dissipate, and for a solution to this new obstacle to come to her.
“OK! No problem! Give me their names! I found you on the Internet, I’ll find the
m.”
“But my name’s quite unusual.”
“Don’t try to make difficulties, Perg. What are their names?”
“Willie Smith and Amanda White.”
Oops! How many William Smiths and Amanda Whites would she find in an internet search? What she really needed were the facilities only readily available to Great Beings, and where was her Great Being when she needed him?
“Know anything else about them?”
“They’re very interesting and clever people.”
“All Ogg’s friends are interesting and clever people, even if some are a little less interesting than others. That’s not going to help me find them on the internet. Do they have middle names, or odd nicknames? What are their hobbies? What kind of music do they like?”
“I’m sorry, Ant. I don’t know.”
Antonia treated him to a pointed sigh, which she overdid so much that her mother heard it and called out from the living room
“Oh, is it really awfully painful, dear?”
“Just a stab. It’s passed. Don’t leave your television!”
“O.K. Dear!”
“Look, Ant, maybe we could meet and talk about this.”
“Perg, try to think straight. We don’t have Ogg, so no more instantaneous travel. We have to use buses, tubes, trains and planes. It takes time and money. Besides, we probably live at opposite ends of the country, maybe even the world.”
“Where do you live?” Perg asked.
“Chiswick”
“I live in Acton.”
Oh God, the great spotted one was almost her next door neighbour.
“I could meet you at MacDonald’s on Chiswick High Street.”
No way, Antonia thought. Her friends went there. Suppose they saw her with HIM.
“Look, I can’t go out. I’m pretending to be ill so I can have time off school.”
“I could come round to your house.”
Antonia felt a sudden surge of panic, as if she had lost control of events. She hadn’t expected him to be so close.
“Look, my mother’s here. What excuse could you possibly make to her for coming to see me? She doesn’t know anything about you.”
“I’ll tell her I’m the big brother of one of your classmates. I’ve been helping you both with a project and I need to talk to you so you can finish it tonight.”
“That’s a blatant lie, Perg.”
“Think of it as an explanation, Ant! What’s your address?”
Antonia gave him her address, worrying all the time that this could be just one heroic sacrifice too far.
About forty minutes later, Antonia was lying in bed, her thoughts fluttering between where the hell Ogg was and what kind of disastrous effect Perg would have on her mother, when she heard the doorbell ring. She cringed and hid under the bedclothes again. She could feel her face getting red just imagining her mother opening the door and being faced by a long spotty beanpole. She could hear them talking but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. The best she could hope for was that they were both so odd they would each think the other was normal. The door closed and her mother shouted up the stairs again.
“Antonia, there’s someone to see you.”
Well at least she had let him in.
“I’ll be down in a moment”
She threw on the least outrageous clothes that came to hand quickly and sped down the stairs. The longer she left them alone, the more chance of a disaster.
When she got to the living room, Perg was already perched on the edge of the sofa holding a glass of her mum’s home made lemonade. Her lemonade making was a bit like her dress making – so God knows what it tasted like. It didn’t look like he had drunk any so far. If she was quick, maybe she could save him. But her mum had a natural talent for making a bad situation worse.
“Antonia’s not felling too well, Peregrine. Women’s problems.” And she nodded conspiratorially.
She noted gratefully that Peregrine was looking as if he hadn’t a clue what her mother was talking about. She was grateful, though he was so convincing she didn’t know whether to put it down to gallantry or just ignorance.
“Is it about the project, Perg?”
Peregrine nodded. Antonia suddenly jumped up, grabbed his hand, and pulled him out of the room.
“We’ll go up to my bedroom. We need the computer.”
Antonia’s mum shouted up the stairs again.
“I hope your room’s tidy, Antonia!” Then, looking at the still full glass on the coffee table, she shook her head.
“She didn’t even give him time to drink his lemonade.”
When Antonia and Perg opened the door to the bedroom, there was Ogg sitting in front of the computer, tapping away contentedly.
“Hi guys,” he said, without looking round.
“Where have you been?” Antonia asked crossly.
“As usual. Everywhere.”
“Not quite everywhere. You haven’t been here, for example,” Antonia pointed out.
“Nor at my place,” Perg chipped in, anxious to be seen to support the object of his affections.
“Well, your idea this morning intrigued me, and I’ve spent all morning checking it out.”
This was too much for Antonia.
“I didn’t even get the chance to tell you the idea. If there are no rules of etiquette for Great Beings, there should be. Like, for example, if they rummage around inside people’s minds and steal their thoughts, they should at least let them know.”
Ogg looked at her as if he had no idea of what prompted this outburst.
“You’re just being emotional.”
Antonia opened an indignant moth but no words succeeded in escaping. Perg jumped in again with support.
“She has a point, Ogg. It wasn’t very polite. And it was worrying too, for both of us.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Ogg said, backing off when faced with the total weight of opinion of two of his disciples.
“Since you know all about it, what do you think of my plan anyway?” Antonia asked.
She noticed Ogg looking a little uncomfortable, so she feared the worst. Yet she was sure it was a good plan. She was convinced that two minds are better than one, and a large number of the kind of excellent minds that Ogg associated with were better than anything. So what could be the problem?
Ogg had switched into story telling mode.
“As you know, the world has been around for a very long time, and the universe, like me, has been around for ever?”
“Get to the point, Ogg!” Antonia hated it when people start talking around a subject. It usually means they are working up to bad news. And she was disappointed that a Great Being could resort to such obvious hypocritical tactics.
“One of the results of this is that nothing is new, everything has happened before. At best, the same things happen again with minor changes.”
“You mean the future has disappeared before?” Antonia interrupted.
“No, obviously not. But we have had a few scares in the past. But let me go on. The point is that your idea of an Ogg’s army isn’t exactly new. It’s been tried before. It didn’t work.”
Antoina went on the defensive right away.
“Was it EXACTLY my idea?”
“Minor changes, Ant, like I said.”
“Minor, but important. A peaceful army of great minds pondering the problems. The interaction of ideas. It has to produce the best result. Impeccable logic!”
“Impeccable, but incomplete, I’m afraid. Let me tell you what happened all those times before.”
“ALL those times? Were there a lot.”
“I’m afraid so. And every one with disastrous results.”
Antonia was feeling low. The first time she had done some important original thinking on her own and it appeared she had got it all wrong. She was even a little grateful w
hen the spotty Perg took her hand and squeezed it.
“It’s not your fault you missed something out in your thinking. What you’re missing is called experience. It’s just too easy to miss some of the implications of your ideas, and only knowledge of the past can help you find all the possibilities. Learning history can help, but nothing beats actually being there, and that, unfortunately, is a privilege only available to Great Beings.”
This had the dual effect of cheering Antonia up and depressing her at the same time. On the one hand, there was the comforting knowledge that she couldn’t have been expected to have got to the complete bottom of her idea, but, on the other, there was the clear message that she never would be able to think correctly and deeply, since she could only ever be an ordinary person and never a Great Being. But she didn’t have time to mope over it, as Ogg, perhaps sensing her discomfort, pressed on with his story.
“What usually happens when my followers start an army, is that there are too many of them who want to be leaders. Each of them has a sightly different idea of where the army should go, what it should do, even why it exists. The first thing they do, of course, is to start calling me by different names. Then they write great books of wisdom where they shove in stories and rules that they make up to support their particular point of view. They teach this rubbish to their children and their children’s children. Each group soon forgets about me, and the whole focus of their attention is on hating the other groups. And of course, they soon start quarrelling, and the quarrelling ends up in fights, and the fights grow into wars.”
“Why don’t you stop it?” Antonia asked. She was getting that faint feeling of distaste that she often felt with Ogg. There was a sense of passivity, of him being an observer rather than a doer. A certain reluctance to get involved, to be a campaigner. She wanted to lift him up, shake him, and say ‘Go on, make the world better, you can do it!’
“Not within my power, Ant! I can read minds, but I don’t control them.”
“But you’re a Great Being!”
“You’re making the mistake of thinking Great Beings create ordinary people. Try to think instead of Ordinary People creating great beings.”
A bell rang within Antonia’s head. She had the sense that this is something Ogg had been telling her all along, and she hadn’t quite got it. She reached out a bit tentatively and touched his arm. It seemed solid, but… Then she looked over at Peregrine Pratt. What was he thinking? Did he understand any better than she did? Did it matter? Maybe later, when Ogg was off somewhere else, she could discuss it with him. It might help her, but, she now knew that when it came to making up her mind she was and always would be on her own. But somewhere outside her thoughts a noise was reaching her. Ogg was still speaking.
“I didn’t dismiss your idea out of hand, all the same, Ant. I thought to myself that this time, perhaps, the conditions were right. Perhaps by now I had helped my friends see that while their points of view were important, so were other people’s. Perhaps we could all work as one to tackle whatever it is the future has in front of us. So I spoke to every one of them, except you and Perg here. That’s where I’ve been all day. The workload of all these meetings was pretty hefty even for Great Being. And to no avail. If we try to form an army now, the result would be seven new religions, one hundred and fifty warring sects, and widespread bloodshed all over the world. And all because no-one really wants to listen to anyone else! I’m sorry, Ant, but we just can’t risk trying your plan.”
Tears welled up in Antonia’s eyes. How could she be thinking so right and yet get it so wrong? If she had made a mistake in her logic, fine, she could have accepted that. She still considered herself a learner. But her logic had been, as Ogg had admitted, impeccable, and yet the results would have been disastrous. Was it beyond the ability of anyone to save the world? She needed a shoulder to cry on, and, to her amazement, when she looked up, she found her head had chosen the bony shoulder of Peregrine Pratt, that it was his shirt that was dripping wet from her tears, and his lanky arms were the arms clasped around her shoulders helping her keep her shudders under some kind of control.