by Lois Kay
Jody saw the trembling of slender fingers when Alice pushed back her hair, and she caught the worried look Trishia cast her. With a quick smile and an imperceptible nod, she reassured her that everything was alright.
After a dinner, filled with banter and laughter, everybody helped with clearing the table and loading up the dishwasher. And when Joan started to make some fresh coffee and tea, Jody managed to corner Sam and drag her into the utility room.
“What’s up, honey?” Sam asked, pulling Jody into her arms. “You don’t want to have your way with me now, do you? I mean, your mom is in the other room and —.”
“Sam!” Jody laughed. “Although I find the idea appealing, that’s not the reason why I wanted to see you in private.” She snuggled deeper into Sam’s arms and rested her head against her shoulder. No matter how much she loved their house and property, whenever she was in Sam’s arms, she felt really at home. The arms around her tightened, and she could feel Sam resting her cheek on the top of her head.
“Okay, sweetie.” Sam’s voice rumbled in her ear. “If you didn’t drag me away from our guests to have a little roll in the hay, there must be something else. What is thou scheme, Oh, Lady? “
Jody chuckled and moved to kiss the side of Sam’s neck. “You always see through me, don’t you? “
“Always,” Sam answered, loosening her grip but keeping Jody in the circle of her arms.
“It’s about Alice.” Jody raised her head from its comfortable position so she could look Sam in the eyes.
Sam nodded. “Tell me.” She brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen across Jody’s forehead and tucked it behind her ear. “What’s up?”
Jody told her about Alice’s story and the way Trishia and Lucy had decided to try and help the girl. Sam never interrupted her, and her blue eyes shone with pride when Jody ended with the question Sam had already expected. She brought her face closer and softly kissed Jody on the lips.
“You are a remarkable woman, Jody McDonnell Stevens, and I love you more each day. Of course, Alice is welcome here. She can stay in the house with us, it’s not like we don’t have any spare bedrooms.”
“Thank you, Sam.” Jody pulled Sam’s face down to give her a kiss. “Of course, we need to talk things through with Trishia, I mean, I suppose she must have a plan, but I’m glad we can help them out.”
“You do realize that Alice is in a complicated situation, honey. It might be tough for her to accept any kind of help.”
“I know, Sam. But there was a time I was homeless and who knows what would have happened to me if Megan’s mother hadn’t reached out to me. Now I have the chance to pay it forward.”
Sam smiled. “And I love you for it.” She pulled Jody into a tight hug and felt her jump in surprise when there was an unexpected knock on the door.
“I have an armful of tablecloths and napkins I was ordered to drop off in there, but if you guys are making out…again…, I’ll leave them right here on the floor.” Fiona’s voice was teasing.
Jody chuckled when she glanced up at Sam and saw her roll her eyes. They exchanged a look, and with a grin, Sam nodded. Jody stepped aside, and when she yanked open the door, Sam lunged forward and grabbed Fiona by the arm. Before the teenager could respond, she was sandwiched between Sam and Jody. Sam held her tight, and Jody was tickling her.
“Shit.” Fiona tried to pull herself free, but Sam’s grip on her only tightened. She squirmed and tried very hard not to make a sound, but Jody knew all her ticklish spots, and she gave in, laughing. “Mom! Help! I’m being tortured,” she called out.
“Knowing you, it’s probably well-deserved,” was Joan’s dry reply from inside the kitchen.
“Mom,” Fiona responded with a fake whine.
“Let me know if you need any help, girls.” Lucy sounded pleased.
“Freckles! You’re my twin. You’re supposed to help me,” Fiona called out, knowing she couldn’t wiggle out of Sam’s firm grip but was trying anyway.
Lucy appeared in the hallway and grinned when she saw Fiona’s predicament. “That’s why I know you deserve what you’re getting right now.”
Jody laughed at the indignant look Fiona shot Lucy. Her face was red, and she almost felt sorry for her. She stopped tickling, grabbed Fiona’s face between both her hands and noisily kissed each cheek before Sam let go of the squirming body.
With an exaggerated gesture, Fiona wiped her cheeks. “Ugh.”
“That’s a brilliant, articulate response,” Sam said with a grin. She wrapped an arm around Jody, pulled her into her side and gave her a quick kiss. “Got a problem with this?” she asked.
Fiona chuckled and shook her head. “Nope. Go for it. I’ll be outside.”
“Not so fast, young lady,” Jody said. She pointed to the table linens on the floor. “I believe you were on a mission.”
Fiona glanced from the pile on the floor to Sam and Jody. She took a step forward, but then changed her mind and stepped back. “I’ll wait until you guys are done,” she said.
“We’ll never ‘be done,’” Sam answered with a laugh. “That could be a long wait, Red.”
*
“Why don’t you show Alice around, Fiona?” Jody suggested sometime later after they had all enjoyed dessert. “I know you’re dying to show her the horses.”
A big grin split Fiona’s face, and her dark-green eyes sparkled with anticipation. “Great idea.” She pushed back her chair and looked at Alice. “Come on, Alice. Let’s go to the stables. Sam and Jody have a couple of horses. They’re awesome. Can you ride? “
Before Alice could answer, Sam shot Fiona a warning look. “No riding, Fiona,” she said. “Even if Alice knows how to, I want to be there the first time she does. I don’t want any accidents, you know how skittish Azrel can be.”
Fiona let out a deep sigh and shook her head. “I’m hurt, Sam. I thought you trusted me.”
Lucy snorted and opened her mouth to respond, but Trishia’s hand squeezed her arm, and uncharacteristically she remained silent.
“I do trust you,” Sam said calmly. “But last time you and Yarra went for a ride, Norah threw her off three times.”
“She wasn’t hurt,” Fiona said defensively. “Besides, it was Yarra’s own fault, she was messing around.”
“As I recall, Yarra’s mother told me she had only been riding twice before,” Jody said.
“As if I knew that,” Fiona answered with a shrug. “Yarra told me that her people have always been one with the land and the animals. She said riding Norah wouldn’t be a big deal.”
“She probably forgot horses are not native to this country,” Sam replied dryly, making Lucy chuckle.
“Whatever.” Fiona ignored the stairs and jumped off the veranda. “Come on, Alice, let’s go before they tie me down and put me in a cage.”
Lucy grinned. “Great idea. I think Trishia has some handcuffs in the car.”
Fiona stopped dead in her tracks, and when she turned around, Lucy knew she was in trouble.
“Has she now?” Fiona drawled, raising one eyebrow. “Using the cities’ resources for your own pleasure? Wow, Freckles, I didn’t know you had it in you. Kinky! “
“Fiona!” Joan McDonnell warned, but Trishia, Jody, and Sam burst out laughing, while Lucy bit her lip and desperately tried to stop blushing.
Fiona grinned, blew Lucy a kiss and turned around to casually walk toward the back of the house, where the stables were located.
Lucy hid her heated face in her hands and softly groaned, not able to meet her mother’s eyes yet. When she felt Trishia’s hand gently rub her back in slow, lazy circles, she turned around and buried her face against her shoulder.
“Help,” she mumbled. “My baby sister is growing up.”
Jody chuckled, watching Fiona and Alice disappear around the corner. “You know, Luce, this is a taste of your own medicine,” she said. “Fiona is just like you, so, you haven’t seen anything yet. Remember how you teased Sam and me after you caught us
kissing behind Dad’s shed?”
“That’s a hundred years ago,” Lucy said. “That doesn’t count anymore.”
“Kissing behind the shed?” Joan echoed. “When was that? “
Jody and Sam exchanged a look and smiled, remembering that summer’s day, almost a decade ago, like it was yesterday.
“It was when Sam came to visit during a school Holiday,” Jody explained. “I guess I must have been…what? Eighteen? Which would have made Sam nineteen.”
“Puppy love,” Lucy joked, raising her head from its resting place and snuggling closer in Trishia’s arms.
Joan looked at her eldest daughter and smiled with affection. Once she had been able to stand up against her religiously fanatic and dictatorial husband, she had quickly grown accustomed to the relationship between Jody and Sam. In her opinion, love was a beautiful thing. And if her children found that love with someone of the same gender, it didn’t make any difference. She had accepted Jody’s choice completely and secretly hoped that Lucy would settle down as well, someday soon. Trishia was good for her quick witted, sometimes rebellious daughter. But even though they spent a lot of time together, Lucy didn’t give the impression of wanting to take their relationship to something more permanent. And Joan sometimes worried if the dysfunctional relationship she and her ex-husband used to have, had scared her children away from committing to a partner. After all, their example had not been a good one.
“What’s that brooding look for, Mom?” Jody asked gently.
Joan looked up into a pair of concerned green eyes and smiled, ignoring the throbbing of her bruised face. “I was just thinking how happy you are, which makes me happy in return,” she answered, affectionately patting Jody’s hand. “And how appropriate it was to name this place Murrook Farm.”
*
Alice quietly walked next to Fiona, curiously taking in her surroundings. The stables were supposed to be behind the house, but when they arrived there, Alice couldn’t detect a building. With a frown, she looked around.
“I know, they say it’s behind the house, which basically is true,” Fiona explained, seeing the confusion in Alice’s eyes. She pointed toward the hill. “Do you see those trees?”
Alice followed Fiona’s outstretched finger and nodded when she saw a group of tall trees, about fifty meters behind the house.
“The stables are behind those trees. Pretty nifty, because in the summer it’s nice and cool in there.” Fiona glanced aside and made a face, which made Alice smile. “Those stables justify the name of the place,” she grinned. “I mean, what’s a farm without animals, right?”
Alice nodded and sucked in her bottom lip. Fiona clearly did her best to make her feel comfortable, and even though Alice appreciated the gesture, she was still not at ease with the situation. But Fiona was no adult, she was about her own age, and even though Alice’s experiences with peers had mostly been painful and embarrassing, she felt that somehow, Fiona was different from the girls she sometimes encountered on the beach, or in the streets. The ones who pointed at her and laughed, or called her names. Or the small groups who followed her around, shouting at her. Who sometimes even threw rocks at her.
“What does Murrook mean?” she asked hesitantly.
“Happy,” Fiona answered. “It’s an Aboriginal word, which means ‘Happy.’ And I guess it is a happy place. I mean, my sister, Jody, married the love of her life, eventually, after being separated for a lot of years. Sam and Jody have loved each other ever since I was a little kid. But something happened, and they didn’t see each other for years. Then, accidentally, they ran into each other again and… wham! Now they’re married.”
Alice stood still and looked at Fiona. “They’re married?”
Fiona, not aware her companion had stopped, turned around and looked at Alice with a frown.” Yes, they are. In Sam’s home country it’s legal for same-sex couples to get married. So, they did. Of course, here things are a bit different, but they did marry each other including all the official mumbo jumbo.” Fiona smiled a genuine smile that made her eyes sparkle. “Lucy and my brother Gerald, we call him ‘Bird,’ were able to be there, at the wedding. They had it live-streamed, though, so we could watch it here in real-time. That was cool. And the whole ceremony was in English. No subtitles needed,” Fiona added with a laugh.
Alice didn’t immediately respond. The thoughts were racing through her mind, and she nervously bit her lip, trying to bring order to the chaos inside her head. She already knew that things at Murrook Farm were different. The occasional term of endearment and the soft touches between Jody and Sam had clued her in.
“Gotta shoot them all. Damn queers!” a rough voice suddenly echoed in her head, almost making Alice jump. She felt herself go cold. She was aware of Fiona’s hand, hovering nearby as if she thought she needed to catch her. Alice felt sick but managed to stay on her feet.
“Um…listen, Alice,” Fiona stammered uncharacteristically. “It’s no big deal, okay? I know a lot of people find it strange, or maybe even offensive, but Jody is my sister, and she’s one of the gentlest people I know. I love her and the first one who says anything bad about her…well, they’ll have to deal with me. I don’t like bigotry and if you have any problems with their relationship—.”
“No.” Alice was surprised at the roughness of her own voice. “That’s not it.”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Fiona muttered.
Alice swallowed hard. “I think I heard one.” Her lips were trembling. When she saw the confusion on Fiona’s face, she took a deep breath. “I…I think I had some sort of flashback,” she said. “It scared me.” Alice knew it was a lame explanation, but how could she tell Fiona about her fight to not remember? To forget? That survival of her sanity depended on her ability to lock away her memories and numb her emotions? That there was safety in not being able to feel? The memory of the voice had shaken her to her core. In a split second, everything she had been trying to forget had threatened to come rushing back to her. Her heart had been caught in the cold grip of fear and Alice had almost panicked. Again. Like in the parking garage. “Twice, in one day,” she mumbled, almost inaudible.
“Pardon?” Fiona asked.
“Nothing.” Alice sighed. “I’m sorry if I gave the impression I don’t accept your sister’s relationship. I do. I really do.”
“Okay, I’m glad,” Fiona said. She reached out, seemed to hesitate for a second, but then put a hand on Alice’s shoulder. “But what happened just now? I thought you were going to faint.”
Alice stared at her worn out tennis shoes and shrugged. She didn’t want Fiona to see the fear in her eyes. Part of her wanted to shake off the gentle hand that touched her because it made her feel. The other part craved the touch of another human being, to acknowledge her existence and make her feel alive.
As if Fiona could sense the inner conflict, she withdrew her hand and stuffed it back into her pocket. “I don’t know much about, you know, the things that…haunt you,” she said gently. “I know what Mom told me, about you having no home and all, so I guess you’ve been through a lot of crap. I can only imagine how awful that must have been. And if you don’t want to, you don’t have to talk about it, that’s cool with me. Just…if you do want to, well…I might be a brat, but I’m a good listener.”
Alice moistened her dry lips and nodded, still too off balance and shy to look up into Fiona’s face. Instead, she looked down at her feet, kicking the ground and creating little clouds of dust. “Thanks,” she finally answered, knowing that talking about her demons would be impossible since she didn’t even know what they were and where they came from. But she appreciated Fiona’s offer, and a small ray of hope pierced through the thick, dark wall that had surrounded her heart for such a long time. It was like a ray of sunlight, after a big summer’s storm. The warmth that flooded through her chest almost took her breath away, and with fear and wonder, she realized that for the first time, in what seemed like forever, she didn’t want to rai
se her defenses.
“You look better now,” Fiona said. “A minute ago, you looked pale. Let’s have a look at those horses. “Do you know how to ride?”
Alice shook her head and tried not to shiver. She didn’t want to risk the tentative friendship with Fiona, by declaring she was afraid of horses. Especially not since the other girl seemed totally smitten by the animals.
“They are real cool horses,” Fiona continued. “Azrel is Sam’s, he is a bit wild, but Sam is great with horses. Norah is Jody’s and meek as a lamb. They want to see if those two will breed. That would be so great, having a foal around.” Fiona pushed open the stable door and motioned Alice to follow her. “I bet Jody will teach you how to ride Norah. She’s a good horse when you first start. You could ride every day. Maybe Sam would even let us ride together sometime, once you get the knack of it. I —.”
Alice stopped dead in her tracks. “Wait a minute,” she interrupted. “What did you just say? About me riding every day?”
“Of course,” Fiona answered. “Oh, they haven’t told you yet, have they?” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Figures. I mean, they think they’re adults, but sometimes they have the common sense of a wombat. From what I picked up today, they’ll offer you to stay here.”
Alice’s heart started pounding so fast she was convinced Fiona could hear it. Her breathing hitched and she had to close her eyes and will herself not to turn around and bolt out of the stable. Suddenly feeling weak, she leaned against the wall for support. “I… How—?”
Fiona shrugged. “I don’t know the details. It’s not what they said, it’s what they didn’t say. But hey, it’s a good deal. Jody is the best and Sam is just, well, she’s fantastic. You’ll be safe here.” Those last words were spoken softly, and Alice knew that Fiona had been able to read the fear in her eyes.