by Tammy Bench
‘I hate having my picture taken, Alice,’ he grumbled.
‘Why? You’re stunning!’
‘Oh Alice,’ he sighed and pulled the little curtain back and climbed inside, ‘come on then if I must.’
Alice squealed and pushed in beside him. Tom pulled the little half curtain closed. Turned and kissed her full on the mouth, any excuse.
‘Right, put the money in,’ Tom ordered briskly.
Alice put two pound coins into the machine and waited. The glass in front of them became mirrored slightly and a five second countdown started for picture number one. They put their heads together and smiled sweetly, flash!
Picture two, Tom started to tickle Alice, who wriggled away trying to get him to stop and be serious, flash!
Three, back to serious as ordered by Alice. Five second countdown, Alice put her head on his shoulder and Tom smiled… a little bit, flash!
Last photo, Tom grabbed her and started to kiss her. Not just a small loving kiss staged for the photo, but a deep consuming kiss that would have been pure sex, if they had not been in a photo booth. Alice gripped his shoulders and melded her body to his torso. Tom’s hands delved into her loose hair and… flash!
Tom’s chest rumbled as he stood and pushed her against the side of the booth, thrusting his hips forward into her lower belly, she moaned and seized his bottom pulling him closer.
‘Please collect your photographs from the tray outside the booth, thank you,’ an electronic female voice instructed them. Tom drew back and looked at the screen with distaste.
‘Saved by the bell. Come on beautiful.’
Outside Alice lifted the strip of pictures from the tray before Tom could see and she looked at them secretively, ‘oh that’s so sweet… and that one, too serious Mr Chambers,’ she shook her head, ‘but the last one is really steamy.’
‘Let’s have a look then…’ okay now he was interested.
‘No, maybe later,’ she stuck her nose in the air and waltzed off to the car.
Tom chuckled, ‘don’t worry, I don’t need to see them,’ he shouted.
Tom dropped her two streets away from her house just before 9.30pm. She had cried and hugged him tightly and he’d not wanted to let her go either, but he assured her they would make a plan for the following weekend and that they would see each other in the morning at school. Even if they would be playing their respective roles to academy award winning perfection. It would be better when he was out of that school, at least the pretence would be removed.
But their parting was getting harder now, the more they fell, the more it hurt.
He watched her walk slowly away from his car. Before she turned into her street she looked back, waved and blew him a kiss.
Tom flashed his headlights at her and he thought she smiled. He turned the car around swiftly and sped off. Half a mile down the road he wiped the back of his hand across his eyes.
Tears.
Actual fucking tears.
He couldn’t do this forever. If he couldn’t claim her as his, then what business did he have being in love at all.
SPRUNG
Monday 29th January
It was after midnight when Alice heard the light tapping on her bedroom door. She hadn’t been asleep, just lolling in bed with her eyes closed, thinking. She was always thinking now. The day had shown her what it would be like if they were allowed to be together and it had been quite wonderful, perfect even.
Tom had been relaxed and playful, romantic and bossy, all the things she loved about him. It could really work between them if they were only given half a chance and she had to believe Tom was starting to see it too.
‘Alice?’ her sister whispered as she gently pushed the door open.
‘Yes. Are you alright?’ Alice asked.
‘Can I come in?’
‘Yeah,’ Alice sat up and turned on her bedside lamp.
Stephanie was wrapped in her dressing gown and carrying a half-finished cup of coffee. She never slept very much. She was one of those people that seemed to need only three or four hours rest a night and then still woke annoyingly fresh and breezy every morning. Alice on the other hand needed at least seven hours or there was no hope for her the next day.
‘Not tired yet?’ Alice patted the bed and Stephanie flopped down beside her.
‘No, not really.’ Stephanie shrugged and placed her mug on the floor. She turned to Alice, ‘Why is there sand in your new shoes? I’ve just tried them on for a laugh and there’s sand on them and in them. Where have you been today?’
Alice fidgeted and hot panic spread across her forehead, ‘I told you I was at Ellie’s.’
Stephanie shook her head slowly, ‘what’s going on Alice?’
Shit, shit, shit.
‘Nothing’s going on, honestly,’ Alice smiled and nudged her sister. She wanted to tell her the truth, she knew she could trust her, about the only person she could trust with a secret like this. But fear for Tom kept it from escaping her mouth.
Moments passed in silence.
‘You’re not a virgin anymore, are you?’ Steph whispered the question, looking down at her hands. It sounded more like a statement of fact actually.
Alice silently counted to ten.
‘No.’
Her sister looked up at her. She didn’t look shocked, but her eyes were full of worry.
‘It’s secret for a reason, isn’t it?’ she said.
‘Yes.’
God, she couldn’t know?
‘Are you going to tell me why? Who?’ she said taking hold of Alice’s hand softly.
‘He’s… older and no I’m not going to tell you who it is, I can’t,’ Alice stated strongly. Her brain was screaming at her to shut up, but she couldn’t.
Stephanie cocked her head to the side in understanding and continued.
‘Is he married?’
‘No.’
‘Girlfriend or kids?’
‘No and no,’ Alice closed her eyes and tugged at her hair nervously, ‘god, this feels like a game of Guess Who. Does your person have a beard? Is your person Bernard?’ she laughed at herself trying to lighten the mood.
Stephanie smiled, ‘he’s not making you do anything you don’t want to do, is he?’
‘No.’
‘How much older is he? Is he old enough for mum and dad to go crazy?’ she said picking up her drink again and sipping it.
‘Yes, I suppose so. Early thirties,’ Alice looked for a reaction.
‘Shit, that’s really old! How can you want to sleep with him? I was thinking a fit twenty-four or something,’ Steph questioned her a little too loudly.
‘Shush will you!’ Alice hissed throwing her hands up in despair, ‘you have no idea how hot he is,’ she laughed then, ‘do you know I thought this would be awful, but it feels so good to be able to talk about it for a minute.’
‘Do your friends know?’
‘No,’ Alice said warily.
‘Just me?’ she confirmed.
‘Yes and keep it that way,’ Alice pleaded.
‘Duh, of course. Your dirty little secret is safe with me,’ she laughed.
‘Thank you.’
‘So…’ Stephanie looked under her eyelashes at Alice, ‘what’s he like in bed?’
‘Amazing,’ Alice felt her cheeks turning red, but she smiled broadly in spite of herself, ‘it’s fantastic. I can’t describe it.’
‘How many times have you done it?’
Alice rolled her eyes at the question.
‘Shall we just say approx then?’ Steph fished.
‘… nine, I don’t know?’ Alice smiled back sarcastically.
‘Are you in love, Alice?’ Stephanie’s question caught her off guard.
‘I am, madly,’ she looked at her sister and her eyes filled up with unshed t
ears. Stephanie pulled Alice to her for a hug and squeezed her tightly.
‘Please be careful,’ she whispered into Alice’s hair, ‘don’t get hurt, okay?’
‘Okay, I’ll try.’
‘If you need to share anything with me, I’m here,’ Stephanie said pulling her body off the bed and re-tying her dressing gown, ‘I’m going to get some sleep I suppose.’
‘Thank you, Steph,’ Alice whispered as she reached the door.
‘Just one more thing…’ she paused and looked back at Alice.
‘Yes?’
‘Is your person, Mr Chambers?’ Stephanie flashed her eyebrows at Alice and smiled a devilish grin.
Alice’s mouth dropped open and she stared dumbfounded at her sister. Her whole body began to shake and she didn’t know what to say?
‘I’ll take that as a yes,’ she grinned again widely like a wise-guy version of the Cheshire Cat, ‘I was always fab at Guess Who, far better than you,’ she said wagging her index finger at Alice.
‘I…’ Alice tried to speak.
‘Oh and incidentally, you’re right. He is way hot and I definitely would.’
‘But…’ Alice watched as her sister leave the room laughing quietly to herself.
VALENTINES DAY
Wednesday 14th February
Tom pushed the duvet cover from his back, leaned down again and kissed her roughly. All his senses were filled by her and he had forgotten where he was, misplaced all time and consequence. All he needed was the next touch of his fingers to her silken skin. The next gentle rise of her hips to match the exacting flow of his.
He brushed the hair away from her face so he could see her eyes and as they locked onto his, a rush of heat shot to his groin and a possessive male rumble escaped his chest. She too looked so utterly lost in their connection. Her face so beautifully passionate, it was the most perfect thing he had ever seen.
Alice’s fingertips dug into his sides and then his buttocks and she pulled him closer to her. Tom pushed back at her, driving deeper, they were fighting the barrier of skin to become one being. His bed felt hot, the sheets damp and their bodies heavy with it.
Jesus, he had never fucked like this, didn’t even think he could. It felt like they had been like this for hours.
They had shed their clothes the moment they’d made it back to his house. Ran up the stairs, jumped at each other and after that he had no idea? If someone asked him to spell his name right now, he didn’t think he could.
The proud grip he held on his control, coupled with his need to dominate had pretty much disintegrated. No thought was involved right now only an overriding need to keep making love until they both collapsed. Sated, quiet and so totally done for.
This was too much for an innocent girl and he knew it. But would he really change a minute of this? Could he change it? Even for the protection of her heart and his?
‘Tom,’ she moaned.
‘Baby,’ he kissed her again.
‘Please…’ her body shook and she ran her hands over his forearms.
‘Okay, baby...’ he whispered and curled his arms around her back. With their chests touching, nose to nose, eyes fused, he thrust into her again, ‘…let go for me.’
As if his words held some kind of added level of intensity, in a way they never had before with anyone else, Alice let herself go. Confirming to him once more that they really were made only for the other.
Tom walked back up the stairs fifteen minutes later. He was holding water for Alice and tea for himself. His legs felt like he had run a marathon and it was only Wednesday, how was he going to function at school tomorrow, after tonight?
Alice was sat up in bed, the covers pulled over her body coyly. She smiled as he walked back in. He was still totally naked. It wasn’t at all necessary he could of dressed or at least pulled on some jeans. But he knew Alice liked it and he loved to see her happy and still strangely embarrassed by his blatant nakedness.
‘I was just thinking you should pull a sickie tomorrow. You’re going to be in no shape for learning anything,’ he pulled back the covers and got in beside her.
‘Is that right, stud?’ she drank half her glass of water quickly, ‘…even if you do say so yourself, hey?’
‘Yes, it’s an order actually. You’re suspended for Thursday,’ he leaned over and kissed the top of her breast.
‘For what reason, sir?’ she pouted.
‘Back chat,’ Tom moved the duvet down her body a bit more, took a drink from his mug and then kissed her nipple. She shuddered from the warmth of his lips, still hot from the tea.
‘I’m sure you would prefer me bound and gagged, sir? So I can’t back chat you.’
Tom flashed a wayward grin.
Don’t tempt me.
‘See. You probably have handcuffs and stuff, don’t you?’ she looked at him and in her eyes he saw both excitement and fear. It always staggered him that despite her age and apprehension there was a part of her mind and body that was ready and prepared to give him anything.
‘It is Valentine’s day,’ he joked and she rolled her eyes.
‘I was thinking a moment ago about a line they always use in my mum’s erotic romance books, that is so true actually and I understand it now.’
‘I can’t believe an intelligent girl, taking A-level English is reading sex books, but go on,’ he kissed her breast again.
‘You’re trying to distract me,’ she breathed.
‘Is it working?’
‘Yes. Look I don’t read them, not really, Stephanie does and makes me read the juicy stuff,’ Alice ruffled his hair, ‘You have ruined me for any other man.’
Tom looked up his face serious and sad suddenly, ‘I know I have,’ he placed his tea on the bedside table, ‘I have taken an innocent girl and then used every bit of love, lust and experience. Hate, dark fantasy and sexual emotion I’ve been able to accumulate over time and I’ve immersed you within it, totally.’
She only understood this now?
‘Tom…’ she started.
‘No Alice. I have and I’ve done it knowingly and willingly and I am sorry. I have ruined you for any other man. For any relationship that you have in the future. This experience will taint it all because of its complexity. I fucking knew I would. I’m a selfish bastard,’ he sat up and pushed his fingers harshly through his hair.
He was so in love with her he had let all his barriers down and she had given everything to him. They had constructed a situation that neither of them would be able to re-create again and for one so young as Alice, the grief for him was tangible.
Alice sniffed from behind and he looked back over his shoulder at her. He noticed the fat tears rolling down her cheeks, dripping onto her chest.
‘Alice, I’m sorry. Don’t cry. I was just raging at… myself,’ he grabbed her and pulled her to his side. But she pushed at him with her little hands. He held her tighter trying to calm her.
‘Get off me!’ she shouted.
Tom let her go instantly.
‘Future relationship? Are you just playing at this, is that it?’ she shouted at him, her voice filled with raw anguish.
Tom flinched, ‘I didn’t mean it like that, baby. Of course I’m not playing. I love you. I’m so in love with you.’
He wanted to touch her but her face was warning him to stay away.
How stupid that he had totally missed his comments would sound like he didn’t give a shit about what they had. He had just got a bit too consumed by his own guilt for a moment and hadn’t thought it through clearly. She was more likely to get rid of him, not the other way round.
‘Oh you love me, Tom. I don’t doubt that. You just don’t see a future together for us do you?’ she wiped the tears from her cheek, ‘What happened to, I don’t want anyone else to have you?’ she mimicked his voice back to him again with perfect accur
acy.
‘I don’t,’ Tom ground out the words. Creeping fear took hold now and he struggled to keep from jumping at her and making her understand his mistake was just that. He had to stay calm.
‘You’re a liar. What’s going to happen when you leave soon and start a new job? Going to forget me and look for a nice safe relationship? Been too busy getting laid lately to think about being a respectable teacher?’ she pulled the bed clothes to her chest instinctively in protection.
Tom watched her and felt like his head was on fire, ‘fucking hell Alice that’s enough!’ he shouted, ‘I’m in a relationship with you, the only one I want for the rest of my god damn life… how can you question that?’
‘Okay, you believe that if it makes you feel better. But I think your subconscious is in serious doubt.’
‘No, it isn’t,’ he said. But somewhere in the back of his mind, was she right? He dismissed the thought quickly.
‘I need my clothes,’ she said, averting her gaze from his own hard stare.
‘No, you don’t. You’re not leaving like this,’ he jerked the duvet aggressively from her hands and she looked up at him in disbelief. His eyes roamed over her exposed naked body and his own started to respond.
‘Don’t do this, Tom,’ she whispered.
‘I can’t let you go like this. I won’t,’ he pleaded softly, despite every muscle in his body feeling tense and wired.
‘You can’t stop me.’
‘I can,’ he watched her closely. If he had to he would stop her from leaving, they needed to talk, but he was very aware of the fine line he was walking. If he couldn’t turn this around, then his move would be very dangerous.
‘I’m finishing this now, us, I can’t do it anymore.’
She pulled one leg out of its kneeling position to get off the bed and Tom leapt forward. His hand catching the curve of her hip and stilling her movement. He levelled his face so close to hers and swore he could hear her heart beating.
‘You’re not finishing anything. You’re mine and no other man will so much as touch a hair on your head. Don’t play games with me, saying you want this over, because you don’t. I hurt you by not thinking straight, I understand that and I’m so sorry. But don’t push me, Alice. I would hold you here for as long as it takes if I had to, so help me I would,’ his body was poised, holding her still.