My ass was on the floor.
Apparently that barstool had given out and gravity had secured my butt firmly on the floor. I couldn’t stop laughing either. This was ridiculous and I was ridiculous, and the more I thought about this place and everyone wandering around dressed in leather and oh so serious, the more I laughed.
“Oh shit,” snapped Arianna.
I peered up to see her worried expression.
“What’s up?” I slurred.
“Hello, sir,” she said.
Rubbing my eyes, I tried to focus on what she was looking at—
Cameron stood a few feet away and was looking particularly fierce. Beside him stood Shay, and he seemed just as surprised to see us.
“What the fuck, Arianna?” said Shay.
Cameron came into view as he knelt before me and proceeded to oscillate.
“This is not what it looks like,” I said, and burst out laughing at that.
“Got a call from Richard,” said Cameron sternly. “He’s wondering where his secretary is.”
“We ran into a technical error,” I said.
Arianna burst into laughter again, unable to control her hysteria.
“We’re celebrating her birthday.” I raised a finger to Shay. “You have to take her out to dinner. Spoil her.”
“Not like this I’m not,” he said.
“Well done, Mia,” said Cameron. “If your intention was to sabotage Arianna’s birthday, you succeeded.”
“No,” I said. “Tell them. Tell them you invited me in here.”
This was the same girl that Dominic had warned me about. The girl who’d scorned me while I’d undergone my training. The same person who scared Pilar, and she was as worldly as it got. The same girl who’d hated me before today.
“Arianna?” I said nervously.
She looked down at me with sympathy. “Don’t be angry with Mia. This was my idea.”
I wanted to hug her, so I tried to get up. Only that didn’t go so well and I fell flat on my ass again. Shay grabbed Arianna’s hand and led her out of the bar.
My drinking buddy was gone.
I pointed at Cameron. “You’re so beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that? I miss you so much. It’s like someone scooped out my heart and gave it to you.”
“Here.” A bottle of water appeared before me.
“Like magic,” I said, taking a sip.
“And for my next trick, I’m getting you out of here.”
“I’ve figured it out mister.”
“Figured what out?”
“Why you won’t let yourself love me.”
“Please don’t.”
“No, you need to hear this,” I said. “If not for personal growth reasons.”
“Can you stand? Let me help you.”
I reached out and held his hand. “I’m your punishment. Me. That’s right. You not letting yourself have me is your way of putting yourself through hell. You believe you deserve this pain.”
Cameron pulled me to my feet and wrapped his arm around me. “I’m taking you home. Try to use your legs.”
“Is my body still yours?” I said. “I can’t remember.”
“Oh, Mia.”
“I know more than you think,” I said. “You left me alone with your books too long.”
“Apparently.”
“You taught me the secret language of the heart.”
“Ah.”
“I see everything.”
“Don’t doubt it.”
“Everyone underestimates me. I’m going to prove you all wrong.”
“It was never about that.”
“Can you get Leo to take me back to Enthrall?”
“I’m taking you home.”
“Beverly Hills?”
“Malibu.”
“She’s back from the dead,” I said. “Well, she might as well be.”
“No more talking until you’ve sobered up. Something tells me you’re going to regret this. If not for how your head’s going to feel tomorrow.”
“I want to turn it back.”
Cameron swept me up into his arms and carried me through the foyer. “Turn what back, sweetheart?”
“Time.”
Outside came the blur of a car.
The soft scent of leather filled my nose as he eased me into the back of his BMW. He pulled the seatbelt around me. My eyes closed and I let out a sigh of satisfaction. Being this close to him again was all I needed to feel safe.
I opened one eye and gave him a toothy grin.
Cameron kissed my forehead.
And then he was gone.
He climbed into the driver’s seat and turned on the engine. “You okay back there?”
“Did you ever love me?” I said wistfully. “I mean, was there ever a second when you felt the same way about me?” I caught his gaze in the rearview. “You wouldn’t tell me even if you did, would you?”
The rev of the engine, the jolt of the car.
Swiftly we left Chrysalis behind.
CHAPTER 37
“YOU HAVE GOT to be fucking kidding me?” snapped Richard.
I blinked toward the bedroom doorway and cringed.
“You tell him,” I whispered to Cameron.
Cameron sat beside me on the bed and was attempting to get me to drink yet another glass of water.
“Mia, I was waiting for you back at Enthrall,” said Richard. “Please tell me you didn’t get another tattoo?”
“Why would I get another one?” I said.
“Because I know you. This is you acting out.”
“It’s Arianna’s birthday.” I glanced at Cameron for his support. “She begged me to have a drink with her.”
Cameron was uncharacteristically quiet. I was so used to seeing him rule the room, yet he merely sat there frowning.
Richard stomped closer. “So what happened to your lesson at Chrysalis?”
“I did it. And had an exam too. I was on the way out—”
“Mia, there’s nothing to be jealous of,” said Richard. “Hope is Em’s sister, and she’s been through a terrible ordeal. This is my way of making it up to her family, who have refused to speak to me since the funeral. You can only imagine how that feels. As if losing Emily wasn’t enough.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“No,” he snapped. “You will listen to me. The world doesn’t revolve around you. You have responsibilities. You were needed back at Enthrall.”
“I’m so sorry. Really.”
“If this is your way of getting Cameron to train you some—”
My gaze snapped to Cameron.
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” said Cameron.
“I don’t think so,” said Richard. “The evidence is drunk in my bed.”
“Our bed,” I said.
“If you’ll excuse me, I have to go and explain to Hope why my girlfriend is pissed in the middle of the day. Have you any idea how that reflects on me?”
“So she knows I’m your girlfriend now?” I said, and then realized. “She’s here?”
“Yes, Mia,” said Richard. “She was going to stay in a hotel. I told her that’s ridiculous when she can stay here. She’s in town for a few days—”
“Shouldn’t you have asked me first?”
“Asked what?”
“If I’m okay with your ex’s sister, who just so happens to look like her, staying here?”
“Oh for God’s sake, Mia,” said Richard. “She lost her sister. My father decimated her life too and I have to live with that.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I said, tugging on Cameron’s sleeve. “Tell him.”
Cameron went to speak and seemed to think better of it.
Richard shook his head. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go make up the spare bedroom for Em.”
I swallowed hard.
Cameron caressed his brow. “I think you misspoke, buddy.”
“No I didn’t,” said Richard.
“I’m afra
id you did,” said Cameron softly.
Pressing my fingertips to my lips, I tried to suppress a sob. “I just wished you’d told me Emily had a twin.”
“Have you any idea of the burden I carry every day?” said Richard, his expression worsening.
“It was just one drink,” I said. “Okay, it was three, but I promise you I had no idea everything was going to blow up. Had I known—”
“My father not only ruined their lives, he ruined countless others. Every day I try to find a way to console myself. Hope turning up is good for me. This is her way of healing and, you know what, it is for me too.”
“Doesn’t having someone who looks just like Emily around remind you of her?” I asked. “Make you wish you were back with her again?”
“You don’t get it, Mia,” said Richard. “And, you know what, I don’t expect you too. You’re naive, and the only way you’re surviving life right now is because you’ve been graced with knowing us.”
“Richard,” said Cameron, pushing himself to his feet. “Seeing Hope has triggered old anxieties. Let’s keep a cool head and proceed—”
“Cole, make yourself useful,” said Richard, pointing at me. “And get through to her that she either starts thinking of other people or she’s out.”
He’d made it sound like I was on a fricken game show, and if it wasn’t for knowing just how much pain Richard was going through I’d have yelled back at him. Instead, I merely sipped water, trying to find that elusive Zen that the picture of a temple that hung above the bed taunted me with.
Richard stormed out.
“Well, that seemed to go well,” I said, taking another sip of water.
Cameron suppressed a chuckle.
“Where’s my wing dog, Winston?” I said. “He’s the only sane one around here.”
“You going to be okay?” asked Cameron.
“Just fine,” I said. “This is why I’m here.”
Cameron blinked at me under dark lashes. He rose from the bed.
With a wave goodbye, he left the room. I congratulated myself on blowing that moment up too.
I was on a roll.
CHAPTER 38
I HAD NO other choice but to support Richard’s belief that having Hope stay with us was a good idea. He’d convinced me this was healing for both of them and I wasn’t going to stand in their way.
Hope and I had gotten to know each other a little and I could see her attraction. Hope was pretty, sweet, and ridiculously intelligent, having qualified as an architect and currently designing some building for a bank. Just like her sister, Hope too had New York at her feet.
She was quite the vision standing in our living room, dressed in a slinky black evening gown and strappy high heels and almost matching Richard’s dashing height. He’d dressed in a tux and looked extra gorgeous tonight. Just to rub it in.
Panic had found a new home.
Both of them sipped aperitifs, making me feel like a third wheel as they’d readied to head out to Shutters on The Beach. The charity event promised to be quite something, with a red carpet and L.A.’s royalty attending.
Sans Mia.
Perhaps, I wondered, there really was no other ticket hanging around, or perhaps they just didn’t want me there.
Richard had ordered in sushi especially for me. It would go uneaten.
I was too full of jealousy.
I’d stepped into one of Richard’s old photos of him and Emily. As though karma had come back around and I was its victim this time. Richard didn’t seem to catch the way Hope looked at him, which was all doe eyed and full of admiration. He was too distracted to notice me. Perhaps it was Hope’s questions that had thrown him. Like why a stockbroker’s office was called Enthrall? Or how come he was dating his secretary? She didn’t need to say that she was surprised by his downgrade. After all, Richard had gone from dating Emily, a well known socialite, to me.
I was somewhere between wanting Richard to be happy and wondering if there was any chance we’d survive his past.
Emily was haunting me in new and original ways.
I offered them another drink and they both declined.
With a subtle glance, I managed to get Richard away from Hope so I could talk to him in private.
“What time do you think you’ll be home?” I asked casually.
Richard shrugged. “You’re not jealous are you, Mia?”
“Haven’t I been a good hostess?”
“Stop looking at her so warily.”
Well, I reasoned, it was hard to settle when it felt like his old flame was haunting the house.
Richard grabbed me by the shoulders. “Mia, I love you. You. And not so long ago I had to endure you being fucked by my best friend. Imagine how that made me feel?”
“You gave me to him.”
“Can we please not go round in circles on this? You know I did it for you.”
“Are you taking it out on me now?”
He looked fierce. “Let’s review the facts. Hope turned up unexpectedly. She was my fiancé’s sister. The woman I was going to marry. Hope is considered family, Mia.” He stepped forward and kissed my forehead.
Like Cameron had kissed me yesterday in the back of his car, but this felt different. It was as though the affection behind it was forced.
It seemed that Richard was still angry with me for yesterday’s lapse in judgment.
“I was trying to bond with Arianna,” I told him.
“There are other ways.”
“You’ve forgiven me then?”
“It’s not like I never get drunk. Just promise me you’ll never drive in that state.”
“No, of course.”
He gestured he needed to get back to Hope.
They had an evening of revelry to be getting on with.
It was hard to see them walk out the door together, and from Winston’s expression he looked equally spooked. He panted heavily.
I knelt to give his chin a scratch and he licked my hand.
“Come on, buddy,” I said. “Looks like it’s just us tonight.”
He seemed to do better after I fed him a snack.
Sitting at the kitchen table and staring down at this writing paper, I knew I needed to make up for the damage I’d been wielding lately. I spoke from the heart, writing a letter to Richard’s father in hope he’d understand the importance of the words. So far I’d had no response from the other two secret letters I’d sent. This was yet another attempt to reach him, to get Richard’s dad to see how much good he could do if he really found a place in his heart for his son.
Richard’s source of pain always came back to his dad.
I had been selfish over the last few weeks, mainly with being too caught up in healing myself. Without a word to my best friend, until I’d landed in the city, I’d even run off to London. I had some making up to do on several fronts.
I had used a thesaurus to fancy this letter up and hopefully get through to the man who’d once been considered a financial genius, according to the New York Times.
After putting a stamp on the envelope, I used Google to get the address of his current residence, which apparently was a North Carolina prison.
Richard needed an apology from his dad and I prayed I’d managed to convey that as tactfully as possible. Surely after all this time in prison, Mr. Sheppard had come round to see the pain he’d caused his family and would want to put it right?
I tucked the letter into my handbag.
Sliding the living room glass door open, I stepped out into the garden and breathed in the balmy sea air. I loved it out here and reassured myself within a few days everything would be back to normal. Winston followed me out and settled near a lounger, as though he knew I needed company.
The evening was cool and that sparkling pool was calling. I stripped off my jeans and sweater, extracted myself from my underwear, and dived in.
The water was warm and it looked so pretty beneath soft yellow lights. Floating felt wonderful.
Swimmin
g at night was a luxury I’d only ever dreamed about. This was something I’d never take for granted, and as I swam lap after lap, I reminded myself to be grateful for all my blessings. My cup really was half full.
Taking a breather, with my arms stretched out on either side of the pool, I stared up at the night sky, happy to see the clouds had shifted to reveal the stars.
I loved this garden.
My mind went there, taking me to some hall where Hope and Richard slow danced their way beneath a romantic glass ball circling above, showering them with twinkling lights. A truly romantic setting.
How could you do this to me?
Richard’s words about how selfish I’d become served as a punishment.
Movement caught my eye.
My breath stilted.
A young blonde woman was staring through the glass windows in the living room, and she was between me and the phone. I was naked and defenseless.
Winston growled.
She turned around and saw me.
“Jasmine?” I called out, relieved I knew her. “What are you doing here?”
“Mia.” She ran towards me, her face flushed, her eyes red.
She was tall and blonde and pretty. She looked younger than her thirty years, and her Irish complexion was flawless. Cameron had flown me up to Big Bear to meet her after I’d caught Richard and her strolling arm in arm into Pendulum and assumed the worst. The trip had been to reassure me there was nothing going on between them. Was this a sign from the universe I had nothing to worry about? It had to be. What other explanation was there?
I swam towards her. “What are you doing here? Are you okay?”
Jasmine knelt by the pool edge. “Is Richard here? I have to speak with him,” her accent was extra thick, her cocky demeanor gone.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
She let out a sob. “They found those naked photos of me on Willem’s phone.”
“What photos? Who’s Willem?”
“My master. The press hacked his phone. He might have to resign. He’s refusing to talk to me. Won’t take my calls. Willem told me it’s useless going to London. He won’t see me. ”
“You haven’t done anything wrong,” I said. “Surely the police will arrest whoever stole those photos?”
“He’s married.”
Enthrall Him (Enthrall Sessions Book 3) Page 30