by J. M. Pierce
Failing Test
J.M. Pierce
Copyright © 2010 J.M. Pierce
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Cover Images Credit:
© icholakov - Fotolia.com, © Nejron Photo - Fotolia.com, & © Alexander Yakovlev - Fotolia.com
This book is dedicated to all of my friends and family who encouraged me, through different means, to realize and achieve a dream.
I must give a special thank you to my wife for your love, hope, and honesty. There is no way that this would have been possible without you.
Contents
Introduction: Family Tree
Chapter 1: Simple Things
Chapter 2: The Pecking Order
Chapter 3: Meltdown
Chapter 4: Discovery
Chapter 5: The Save
Chapter 6: Public Affection
Chapter 7: Poor Judgment
Chapter 8: Shedding Skin
Chapter 9: Difficult Conversation
Chapter 10: Short Fuse
Chapter 11: Family Secrets
Chapter 12: Trust and Friendship
Chapter 13: The Morning After
Chapter 14: Hard Truths
Chapter 15: The Best-laid Plans . . .
Chapter 16: Confrontation
Chapter 17: The Open Road
Chapter 18: Sanctuary
Chapter 19: Comfort
Chapter 20: Happy Birthday
Chapter 21: Separation
Chapter 22: Isolation
Chapter 23: Decisions
Chapter 24: The Other Side
Chapter 25: A Lighter Conscience
Chapter 26: Nothingman
Chapter 27: Never Perfect
Chapter 28: Simple Sunsets
Average is a relative term applied to others by those who have no understanding of a reality outside of their own.
Introduction
Family Tree
His mother named him Test. Born to a young girl fresh off the farm, he started with humble beginnings. Her name was Maggie Chase. She was a naïve blonde who was eager to experience the things that she had dreamed of during her long four years of high school. Growing up on a farm located in rural Nebraska, friends were in short supply. She came from a graduating class of only fifteen, and to say that her life had been sheltered would not be inaccurate. The only child born to farming parents, she had been tied to chores since she was able to carry a grain bucket. Since she was given nothing but hand-me-down clothes, boys’ clothing more often than not, her classmates saw her as a tomboy. She found their view hard to discount as she had never been given the chance to experience the pink and frills that typically define a girl’s early years. It wasn’t until her high school graduation that she received her first new dress.
With high school finally over, she was ready to begin her life. She was terrified simply because she had never been on her own in any way. However, no matter how scared she was, nothing was going to keep her on the farm. Her choice of a college three hours away in Lincoln was not welcomed by her family, but was not surprising either. She was the first in her family to move to the city.
A couple of months into college, she met Test’s father. Colby Davis was a tall and slender young man who was a couple of years older than she was. He was originally from Wichita, Kansas, and was used to the city lifestyle. Coming to Lincoln was not so much of a change for him. While he had been a good student in high school, he was also the life of any party. He was very active in sports as well as being the senior class president.
The summer after graduation, Colby slipped into a depression. He had been the center of attention while in high school, and now that he was in Lincoln, he was forced to start over again. He was afraid of failure, and the only way that he felt he could gain the strength and courage to make it was through drugs and alcohol. Upon arriving at the University of Nebraska, he had joined any and every activity that he could. He was a starting pitcher for the baseball team and played intramural basketball. He had also developed severe chemical dependence issues.
Maggie, anxious to live the city life, fell in love with the jock as well as the junkie. It was all very new and exciting to her.
Not long after their meeting, Test was conceived. His mother decided on the name Test for several reasons. The first was simply because it seemed in fashion to give your child a strange and unique name. Second was because she thought that this would be the greatest measure of love for Colby and herself. They married, moved in together, and shortly thereafter Test was born.
He was a small baby, weighing only five pounds nine ounces. He had very light blond hair and gray blue eyes. To Maggie, he was perfect.
Test’s birth affected Colby deeply. Sobriety had become a priority to him, and while he would make it days at a time without his fix, he always fell off the wagon when things became the least bit stressful. It was a vicious cycle that fed into his addictive personality.
When Test was eight months old, he was playing on his father’s lap in the living room of their rented one-bedroom apartment. He was being extremely fussy. Since the day he was born, he had been consistently so, but something about this fit was different. He was screaming at the top of his lungs in a seemingly terrific amount of pain. Colby thought of everything that he could to try and calm the baby. Rocking, walking, singing, anything that he tried didn’t seem to help. Exhausted, he sat on the couch with Test standing on his lap; his son’s palms resting on his chest. Colby could feel a great deal of warmth in the infants touch. With a sudden silence engulfing the room, Colby recognized the look of a predator on his son’s face. It took his breath away. Shattering the silence, Test let out a horrid scream, and as the last wisp of breath came from his lungs, he was sent hurling backwards off his father’s lap, hitting his head on the coffee table as he fell. Colby scrambled to lift his son, not knowing if he was dead or alive. He picked Test up to find a cut on his left cheek that was deep and bleeding heavily. Test didn’t make a sound. As he examined his child, Colby realized that his own chest was throbbing. He pulled at the neck line of his shirt to see that his chest was badly bruised. Dazed and confused, he was snapped back to reality by a loud scream from Maggie who had just walked into the room. She immediately took the baby away and hurriedly made her way out the front door. Colby followed behind her, pulling at her arm as she walked. He begged her to listen, but she didn’t want to hear it. She had outgrown his habits, and this was the last time he would let her, or her son, down. She got into the car and drove off as fast as she could to the hospital, leaving Colby in her rearview mirror.
There was an investigation, and charges were filed against Colby. He adamantly denied that he had brought harm to his son. While out on bond and awaiting trial, he was killed in a car accident. He had been playing his chemically dependent hand and lost. He failed the test.
Chapter 1
Simple Things
Test Davis had always been tall for his age. Although six foot four inches, he had a slight build and narrow shoulders. Now in his senior year of high school, he didn’t hang with the popular crowd, but he wasn’t considered an outcast either. He loved music and typically wore concert t-shirts and blue jeans that, to some, made him appear somewhat dark and unapproachable. His once blonde hair was now dark brown and
short. His gray blue eyes were filled with innocence. The scar on his left cheek was now sixteen years older and still very visible.
The girls didn’t notice him much. Unfortunately, that was the one thing that he wanted most in the world. It wasn’t that he was tragically unspectacular. It wasn’t that he was a recluse or an introvert. He was just Test. He sort of blended into the background and seemed to get lost in the hallways.
Test’s best friend was Mark Wilson, another completely average kid. He had longer brown hair, brown eyes, stood six feet tall, and was rail thin. He had one thing that Test did not—a girlfriend.
Marcy Jackson was an attractive girl with long strawberry-blonde hair, blue eyes, and freckles. She was a member of the drama club, band, and student council. In Test’s opinion, Mark had done very well for himself. Test liked her simply for the fact that she didn’t mind him hanging around. He knew that he was the third wheel, but he didn’t care. If he wasn’t the third wheel, then what would he be?
Aside from the wonderful world of dating, Mark and Test had much in common. They loved music, played the guitar, and dreamed of being in a band some day.
Every morning, they had orchestra for first period. While this class was obviously supposed to be about learning and playing music, the teacher was a raging alcoholic who seldom showed up for class. Most times, even when he did show up, he usually declared it a study hall period. Today was one of those days.
Test entered the room. Mark was already sitting in their usual corner. The room was laid out into three levels for the orchestra, and as Test strode across the room, his path led him down and then up the levels until he arrived next to Mark.
“What’s up?” asked Mark, casually flipping his hand into the air.
“Nothing,” Test replied as he dropped his books on the floor. “Did you get your Chem assignment done last night?”
“Yeah, didn’t you?” asked Mark, matter-of-factly.
“No. Mom had some guy over last night. They were crazy loud, and I couldn’t focus so I just went to bed.”
Mark sat rummaging through his book bag, half paying attention to his friend and half looking for his pen. “Who was the guy?”
Test hesitated. “Tommy Simpson.”
“TOMMY SIMPSON!” yelled Mark, his attention quickly diverted from his book bag.
“Shhhhhhh!” replied Test scornfully. “Yes, Tommy Simpson.”
He and Mark were like brothers at times. Both were prone to aggravate one another, but they were also quick to forgive.
Tommy had graduated a couple of years before the two of them. Once upon a time, he had been the senior class president, a varsity football player, and just about anything else that a model student could possibly be. Everyone just knew that Tommy would be a world leader one day. He went to the University of Kansas after high school, but not two months into college, he discovered the dark side of life and drowned in it. Addiction had consumed him and stolen his future.
With a repulsed look on his face, Mark looked at his friend. “Why the hell was your mom with Tommy? She’s like twenty years older than he is! That’s just not right, buddy. That’s jacked up!”
Test focused intently on a strand of carpeting curled on the floor. “Just drop it.”
He was uncomfortable whenever the subject of his mother was brought up. Maggie Davis had become something of a bar-fly now that Test was older. She figured that he could handle himself. To Test, it seemed that she felt as though she had given up seventeen years of her life for him and now it was time for her to live it up a little.
Mark suddenly changed the subject. “Did you see Nicole today?”
Immediately, Test’s head lifted, and his eyes lit up. He had suffered from a crush on Nicole Paxton since the fourth grade, when he had noticed her for the first time.
On that fateful day, some of the older kids had been picking on him at recess. They had pinned him to the ground and were shoving dried brown grass down the back of his pants. The torture was brief and physically harmless. He could still hear the sound of his assailants’ laughter as they walked away, fully satisfied with their accomplishment. Test sat up, hoping that no one had seen his humiliation. As he scanned the playground, he caught sight of her angelic face. He watched her walk gracefully to his side, and as she knelt beside him, he gazed at her in awe. She didn’t say more than a few words to him, just enough to make sure that he was okay. She brushed the grass off his back, smiled, and then walked away. He was hooked from that moment on. Even at such a young age, he understood beauty, inside and out. To him, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
Over the next several years and to the present, he had watched her blossom into a beautiful young woman. He could swear that he had caught her staring in his direction at times and wanted nothing more than to ask her out. For some reason, the time had never seemed right to him. Impatiently, he waited for the day.
“What’s she wearing today?” he asked intently.
“That cream sundress that you can just about see through . . . but not quite,” replied Mark as he peered through his index finger and his thumb pinched together.
The smile on Test’s face grew even larger. Reaching out his hand to give Mark a high five, he replied mischievously, “Excellent. It’s going to be a good day, my friend. I can feel it.”
“Amen, my brotha!” replied Mark with a slap of Test’s hand. “So did you hear about the party that’s going down this Friday night? It’s going to be in the middle of a pasture outside of town. No parents, no rules; just beer and girls!”
With just a couple of weeks to go until graduation, all of the seniors, including Test and Mark, were getting anxious to be done with high school. It was tradition that the seniors all gathered in a pasture outside of town at the end of the year. Test knew this, but he had never been a big fan of large crowds. They always made him feel uncomfortable.
Test sat passively and patted his hands on his knees. “Yeah, I don’t know if I’m going to go or not,” he replied.
Surprised, Mark scratched his head. “Why would you not go? I’m sure Nicole will be there.”
This morning had already contained too much uncomfortable conversation for Test. To avoid eye contact, he began flipping through the pages of his chemistry book. “Is that a reason to go or a reason not to go?”
Mark shook his head. “Damn it, man! You’re in bad shape for her, aren’t you?”
Test slapped his book shut. “Shut up. Take a hint and change the subject, will you?” A tinge of pain accompanied the frustration in his voice. “Are you going to help me with my chemistry homework or not?”
Mark straightened his back and sat up tall. A little surprised at his friend’s moodiness this morning, he dropped the subject. “Yeah, buddy, I’ll help you out. Where’s your problem?”
With Mark’s help, Test finished his homework and the remainder of the study hall was spent thinking of many things, none of which included school. Much of his time was wasted thinking of a reason not to go to the party. He had come to the realization that, with only a couple of weeks of his high school career to go, he was running out of time to tell Nicole about how he felt. A week or so before, he had told himself that it had to be done before school’s end. The only problem was that he was afraid of rejection. He didn’t know if he could handle being stranded in the middle of a pasture after being shot down by the girl of his dreams. Denying himself pleasures had become a common theme. He had denied himself many times over the course of his life for no other reason than to avoid disappointment. Denial to avoid denial; self-elected disappointment seemed easier than the possibility of a broken heart.
The bell rang, signaling that it was now time for him to head off to English. The students spilled into the hallways like rainwater running into a river. Everyone seemed to be looking for someone, and those who weren’t didn’t pay attention to anything but the conversation that they were engaged in.
Test reached his locker and hurried with the lock, s
pinning it almost unconsciously.
Thirty three-thirteen-three
The combination was burned into his mind as he’d had the same locker and combination since he was a freshman. He had always considered it a prime location, for no other reason than because Nicole’s locker was just across the hallway and a little ways down. Between every class, whether he needed to or not, he went to his locker just to catch a glimpse of her. It was like a form of self-torture. A daily reminder that sooner or later he had to tell her how he felt. He argued with himself often on this subject. Surely she had to know that he liked her. He flirted as best he knew how, which admittedly wasn’t very good. Without a father, he had never learned the skills that he felt were required to be smooth with the ladies.
He opened his locker door and reached up to the top shelf. With chaos all around him, something in his subconscious made him turn. As he did, he saw Nicole standing by her locker. He couldn’t help but stare. Her long brown hair was pulled back today. Really, he didn’t care how she wore her hair. The fact was that she could go bald and be missing all of her teeth, and he would still be in love with her. She was, as Mark had told him, wearing the summer dress that did flatter her quite well. She was a short girl at only five foot one, with an athletic and moderately curvy figure. As far as Test was concerned, she was perfect. He noticed her sky blue flip flops and in amazement thought that even her feet were pretty. The locker door next to him slammed shut and brought him out of his daze. Only then did he realize that she was looking at him. He was overcome with a sensation of heat. Her blue eyes were as deep as any he had ever seen.
“Oh damn!” he said under his breath. “I’m busted.”
With no time for him to change direction or to even look away, she walked toward him. She was followed by Tracy Price and Heather Anderson. They were on the cheerleading squad with Nicole and part of the in crowd. For some reason, he always felt inferior when Nicole was with her friends, and with the three girls coming toward him, his body became increasingly hot, and he became dizzy with nerves.