She’d only been home twice since the debacle with Karl Blume and she wondered if her father still regarded her as ‘brave’ and Dennis as something of a hero. Or, more important still, whether her mother’s invitation to Dennis to come and see them again still held good.
She had seen Dennis several times since then, but only very briefly, and always in the company of other people. Remembering the night he had wanted them to spend together brought her out in a cold sweat. Whenever she thought about it, recalling how disappointed he’d been by her refusal, she wondered if it would be better if she had nothing more to do with him or, for that matter, with any man.
Peggy was the only one she could confide in and she’d been surprised that Christabel had turned him down. ‘Others have affairs,’ she pointed out defiantly.
‘Think of the risks, though. Supposing I became pregnant,’ Christabel muttered.
‘You wouldn’t if you took precautions,’ Peggy mused thoughtfully as she brushed her hair.
‘What sort of precautions can you take?’
‘You’ve got me there,’ Peggy admitted. ‘We never talked about those sorts of things at home. Our home was a bit like a nunnery; no one admits that anything like that goes on. Now you know why they believe in the Immaculate Conception,’ she giggled.
When Christabel asked Peggy what she thought about her taking Dennis home for the New Year, Peggy shrugged.
‘If you are really serious about him, and you think your father liked him, then why not?’
Was she serious about him? It was a question Christabel asked herself over and over again. Looking back on that incident she always felt uncomfortable about it and had been more than a little surprised that he had wanted to see her again.
Now, she tried to analyse her feelings for Dennis and to decide whether or not she would miss him if he suddenly went out of her life for ever.
Perhaps, if she took him home and he met her family and even stayed for a couple of days, it might give her the chance to find out what their true feelings for each other were, she told herself.
When they met early on New Year’s Eve, and she told him her plan, he seemed to grow taller and puffed out his chest as if determined to impress her.
‘You don’t mind, then? It may not be very exciting. My parents lead a quiet life and my younger sister is only sixteen and very childish for her age.’
‘I can’t think of a better way to start 1916,’ he told her solemnly.
‘I’m not too sure what sort of reception we will get because they don’t know we’re coming,’ she warned.
‘Surprise is the best form of attack,’ he told her confidently.
Although Dennis was in a jubilant mood, Christabel felt dubious about what her parents would say. As it was, when they arrived mid-afternoon, everyone was affable. Christmas at The Laurels, although Violet and little Kay had been there on Christmas Day, had been rather quiet and now the family welcomed the diversion of not only Christabel being home but also a visitor as well.
Lilian brightened like a drooping flower which had been taken from a cold greenhouse and placed in a sunny window. Her round face dimpled and her eyes glowed with excitement when Christabel asked if they would mind if Dennis stayed with them for a few days.
‘I am so pleased,’ she enthused. ‘Mother has invited some of her friends to dinner tonight so this will make it a real celebration. Dennis is perfect to let the New Year in,’ she went on. ‘He’s so dark and handsome that he is bound to bring us all luck,’ she added, smiling across at him coquettishly.
As she relaxed in a hot bath before dressing for dinner, Christabel congratulated herself on how well her plans had gone. She was quite amused by Lilian’s reaction; her little sister was growing up, she thought fondly.
When she was ready to go downstairs, she studied her reflection with satisfaction. She had chosen her favourite dress and the vivid blue velvet not only matched her eyes but also clung to her like a second skin. I have a much better figure now than when I first took up nursing, Christabel thought, as she twisted and turned in front of the cheval mirror.
She had taken a great deal of trouble with her hair, piling it high on her head, and using hot tongs to curl it into fronds and ringlets around her face. She pinched colour into her cheeks and smoothed a trace of Vaseline on to her eyebrows and eyelashes to make them shine.
Confident that she was looking her best, she went downstairs. The rest of the family was already gathered in the drawing room. She felt disappointed when her entrance went unnoticed. Lilian was playing the piano and Dennis, who was standing at her side turning over the sheet music, never even glanced up.
Her mother’s friends arrived before Christabel had a chance to interrupt Dennis and Lilian. They were all pleased to see her and eager to hear about her life as a nurse that she had to leave it to Lilian to entertain Dennis. By the time midnight was imminent, and Dennis was sent outside to act as harbinger of the New Year, she realised that she had barely spoken to him all evening.
Dennis brought in the traditional lump of coal and piece of bread and was rewarded with a hot toddy before he did the rounds, wishing each and every one of them a happy and prosperous New Year.
It was shortly after midnight when the last of the guests left and Mary was finally able to start clearing away the remains of the evening’s festivities. Within an hour, the entire house was wrapped in silent darkness and Christabel wondered if she dared to nip along and see Dennis for a few minutes to make sure he was settled in and explain why she’d neglected him all evening.
Cautiously she opened her door and tiptoed along the landing. She paused outside Dennis’s room, ear pressed against the closed door, but there was no sound at all. Biting her lower lip, she turned the handle, letting out a sigh of relief as it opened smoothly.
She made sure she closed the door behind her, before whispering his name aloud. When there was no answer, she edged towards the bed, stretching a hand out to touch him, feeling for his face, his hand, his shoulder, to let him know she was there.
When she failed to make contact with any of these she ran the flat of her hand over the bed. There were no contours at all. The bed was empty.
Christabel stood perfectly still for several minutes, trying to collect her thoughts, wondering where he was; surely he hadn’t left? He’d seemed to be enjoying every minute of the evening, even though it was in Lilian’s company. He had appeared to get on well with her father, and her mother had remarked more than once what a nice young man he was.
Perplexed, she started to go back to her own room but, halfway along the corridor, she heard a sound that stopped her in her tracks. From downstairs she could hear the rise and fall of voices followed by a smothered, giggly laugh.
A feeling of jealousy churned inside her. In one second it was as if all her dreams of possible happiness with Dennis were ruined – because of Lilian, of all people.
She wanted to burst in on them, let her parents know what was happening, but humiliation because he found her own sister so attractive stopped her from doing so.
Her anger collapsed. Shivering and utterly deflated she crept back to her own bed and lay there, trying to close her mind to what was happening until, eventually, she sank into an exhausted sleep.
She woke next morning wondering if it had all been some terrible nightmare. As she watched Dennis and Lilian exchange sly glances across the breakfast table and saw the lovesick dreamy smile that played on her sister’s lips, she knew it was not a figment of her imagination; Lilian was infatuated by him.
As she struggled to hide her annoyance, Christabel became aware that Lilian was staring at her, a questioning look on her face. As their gaze locked, Lilian’s big grey-blue eyes had a feline watchfulness, as if she was waiting to see what Christabel’s next move would be.
Some primitive instinct of self-preservation welled up inside Christabel. She knew it was useless to draw her parents into the argument. They would take Lilian’s side and say she wa
s overreacting; they always had, ever since Lilian was a tiny toddler.
When, as they were growing up, Lilian had taken her treasured dolls or scribbled in her books or hidden them, her mother had always said it was probably her own fault for leaving them lying around. It would be the same now. She would be blamed for bringing Dennis to stay and then neglecting him all evening.
Refusing to play Lilian’s game, Christabel smiled at her sister and suggested, ‘Why don’t you and Dennis go for a walk this morning while I stay and help Mother?’
For a moment Lilian looked taken aback and the challenge went from her eyes, leaving them as soft and grey as the sky outside the window.
Christabel sensed Lilian was about to refuse. It had been a calculated risk but one she was confident of winning. She knew Lilian was covetous but she also knew from the past that she had always lost interest in the things she had hidden when she found it didn’t worry Christabel that she had taken them.
She had not considered Dennis. He looked from one to the other of them with a puzzled frown then came round the table, taking Lilian’s hand, affirming his readiness to go with her.
Christabel turned away, hiding her chagrin.
Lilian and Dennis returned late for lunch, laughing and apologetic, their cheeks flushed from the cold, their eyes bright with excitement. They teased and wisecracked, sending secret messages across the table until Christabel felt she could stand the atmosphere no longer. When the meal was over and the rest of the family gathered in front of a roaring log fire in the drawing room, she slipped quietly away and made a telephone call to Hilbury.
‘What on earth has happened?’ Peggy gasped when she was finally brought to the phone.
‘I’ll explain later,’ Christabel told her. ‘Could you ring back, to my home, and tell whoever answers that I’m needed back at the hospital immediately?’
‘But you’ve still got two days of your leave left . . .’
‘Never mind that, please, just do as I’ve asked.’
Christabel hung up before Peggy could ply her with any more questions. A few minutes later, as she was kneeling in front of the fire, pretending to warm her hands, she heard the phone ring. Her father rose from his chair and went out into the hall to answer it.
‘That was a Nurse Wilson from Hilbury Hospital, Christabel,’ he said as he came back into the room. ‘She said you were needed back at the hospital. I asked her to speak to you herself, but she rang off. She sounded quite perturbed!’
‘Oh dear, they did warn us that a new intake was due,’ Christabel murmured, standing up. ‘It looks as though I will have to go. Sorry about this.’ She smiled at her mother apologetically. ‘There is a war on,’ she added tritely.
‘You’ve only just got here,’ her mother sighed.
‘I’ll come again soon,’ Christabel murmured, kissing her mother’s cheek. ‘Are you ready to leave, Dennis?’
‘Me?’ He looked taken aback.
‘Must Dennis go, Mother? He still has several more days of his leave left,’ Lilian said quickly.
‘Well . . .’ Mabel looked questioningly at her husband.
‘Please say he can stay, Father?’
Lilian’s breathless entreaty, delivered in her most cajoling voice, seemed to clinch the matter.
‘If that’s what Dennis wants to do, then of course he can stay,’ Basil smiled benignly.
Peggy looked bewildered when Christabel arrived back at the hospital and she learned what had happened.
‘Why on earth didn’t you have it out with them, not simply give in like that?’ she asked.
‘It went wrong,’ Christabel admitted. ‘I counted on Dennis coming with me. I’d decided to stop prevaricating and agree that we could stay together somewhere until I was due back here.’
‘I’d say it was as well things didn’t go according to your plan,’ Peggy told her bluntly. ‘In my opinion, it isn’t worth risking your reputation for a man like that.’
An hour later, when she was called to the telephone, Christabel’s heart soared with excitement, expecting it to be Dennis. Then it plummeted into her shoes when she heard her father’s clipped voice.
‘Lilian . . . here?’ she repeated in a puzzled voice. ‘Of course she’s not here, why should she be?’
The blood drained from her face as her father told her that Lilian and Dennis had left the house within minutes of Christabel’s own departure. ‘They hoped to reach the station before your train left because you left a coat or something behind,’ he told her. ‘I thought that perhaps they’d decided to bring it to the hospital.’
As she replaced the receiver, Christabel knew in her heart that they had gone away together. She hadn’t left anything behind. Lilian must have devised that story so that she could leave the house with Dennis and she wondered where the two of them had gone.
Christabel phoned home very late that evening, hoping to speak to Dennis and find out what had happened.
‘Your train had already gone by the time they reached the Exchange,’ her father told her. ‘So Lilian showed him around the city and they stayed and had a meal before returning home. Dennis has only just gone upstairs; I can call him, if you want to speak to him.’
For a moment Christabel was tempted to say yes, feeling quite sure that her father would discover that Dennis was not in his room but in Lilian’s. Then, knowing it no longer mattered to her, she said there wasn’t time as she had to go back on duty.
‘Would you like me to let him know you called when I see him at breakfast tomorrow?’ her father asked.
‘No, thank you,’ she said firmly, ‘there’s no need, it’s not important.’
Chapter Nine
Christabel was determined not to let the flirtation between Dennis and Lilian upset her. After all, she reasoned, in some ways it was her own fault because she had made it clear that all she wanted from him was friendship. Also, she had to admit that Lilian had grown into a very pretty girl and it was only natural that Dennis would be attracted to her.
Even so, she was sure that his infatuation would be short-lived. She hardened her heart and decided to say nothing to Lilian except to make it clear that she wanted nothing more to do with Dennis.
When she went home, which was not very often, she was relieved to find that she felt no jealousy or remorse as she listened to Lilian burbling on about Dennis and how wonderful he was. She was able to listen with smiling detachment.
When her mother joined in and also began singing his praises, she escaped by going to visit Violet who was missing Lewis and was very worried about his safety.
Kay was now such a lovable baby that Christabel wanted to spend as much time as possible with her and Violet seemed to be more than happy to let her take Kay out for a walk. She rarely came with them so Christabel had the child’s undivided attention and, even though it stirred up painful memories, she enjoyed every moment of their time together.
Back at Hilbury she immersed herself in hospital life to such an extent that she almost became estranged from the real world and was slightly taken aback when she received a letter from her mother to say that Lilian and Dennis were married and that Lilian was no longer living at home but had gone with him and his unit and now they didn’t know where she was because she was not allowed to disclose their whereabouts.
Although Christabel told her mother that she had no idea where they were, she always brought the matter up whenever she went home and seemed to think that she ought to be able to find out where Dennis was stationed. Christabel found it difficult to convince her mother that there was nothing she could do to help.
All through the summer months, Hilbury, like all the other military hospitals, was stretched to its utmost capacity as the war escalated, and Christabel found herself working exceptionally hard. At night she often felt so exhausted when she came off duty that she was too tired to eat. All she wanted to do was sleep and put the latest news about the Battle of the Somme, which had now gone on for several months and had result
ed in heavy casualties, out of her mind.
It was late August when she next made a visit home. She’d intended to do so ever since the Battle of Jutland a couple of months earlier; she knew her parents and Violet would be terribly worried about Lewis because the naval forces had been involved.
When she arrived home, she was shocked by her father’s appearance. He looked as though he had aged ten years since she’d last seen him. His hair was grey, his face drawn; he’d lost weight and seemed to be a shadow of his former self.
‘He’s been looking like that for months now,’ her mother sighed when Christabel commented on how ill he looked.
‘Have you called in the doctor?’ she asked worriedly.
‘I don’t think there is any point in doing so; I put it down to business worries and the fact that we are still not sure where Lilian is living.’
Christabel was not convinced and, when shortly before Christmas, Basil collapsed from a fatal heart attack, although she was deeply saddened by the news, she was not really surprised.
Her mother was distraught and the fact that they were unable to locate Lilian only added to her distress. Violet did what she could but she was so busy looking after Kay that she was not a great deal of help and it was left to Christabel to arrange the funeral and Christabel had no alternative but to ask for leave from Hilbury, promising that she would return the moment she could locate her sister and arrange for her to come home and take care of their mother.
Sister Speakley was most understanding. ‘You have plenty of leave due to you, so don’t worry if it is a matter of a couple of weeks,’ she told Christabel. ‘Having said that,’ she went on quickly, ‘you are one of my most reliable nurses, so I look forward to you being back as soon as possible.’
It was mid-January before Christabel managed to locate Lilian’s whereabouts and even longer before Lilian agreed to move back home to take care of their mother.
Whispers of Love Page 7