by Ronica Black
She could do so many things. Stay up all night long. Pretend it was the woman of her dreams, the one she painted. God, it was tempting. And as for her own needs, they’d yet to be met, and she hadn’t forgotten that. Her body wouldn’t let her. She was wound like a pissed off rattler, ready to strike. Her clit felt heavy and full, and Gail, riding her bare thigh, was getting to her.
So she did something she never thought she’d be able to do. She pushed her off.
“What the fuck?”
Johnnie stood, pulled back the covers, and crawled in. She set her alarm and reminded herself to make sure Gail left before her so she couldn’t get back inside.
“I need to sleep,” Johnnie said. She sank into her pillow and breathed deeply. She’d been thinking about a new painting lately. The tree she’d been drawing was developing. Maybe she’d dream about it tonight.
“What’s with you, Johnnie?”
Johnnie knew she was standing there, nude, with a pissed off look on her face.
She decided not to look at her.
“Good night,” she said.
Gail was still for a moment. Then she heard her move and settle in on the couch.
Johnnie felt content and was just about to fall asleep when her phone rang. She sat up, ready to silence it. But when she saw the name, she answered it at once.
She moved without thought. Dressed without knowing. She floated out the door, leaving Gail calling after her.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Elaine awoke to beeping and something squeezing her arm. She winced in pain and opened her eyes. A blood pressure cuff was reporting her vitals, and the monitors next to her showed the rest. She groaned and shifted, her ass and lower back aching. She blinked heavy lids, taking in the hospital room. She lifted her hand to scratch her nose but found a pulse ox attached. She used her other hand, but the tug from the IV hurt so she let it go. She looked through the glass wall at the numerous medical personnel moving from here to there working. She licked dry lips and pressed the call button.
She looked back to the window at the light angling in through the vertical blinds, and she recalled a little from the night before. Panicked, she shifted her gown near her chest and trembled. A fresh bandage ran the length of her sternum, and she felt a tightness and pain.
“Good morning,” a woman said, breezing in in light blue scrubs. She pushed buttons on the monitors and adjusted her pillow. “How are you, sweetie?”
Elaine cleared her throat. “Why am I here?”
The nurse continued fidgeting, rounding the bed to work the other side. “Your heart nearly gave out.”
Elaine grimaced, suddenly angry. “What?”
“The doc will be in soon to explain.”
“Can I go?”
She laughed. “Not a chance.”
“I want to go.” She tried to free herself from oxygen and wires. The nurse grabbed her wrists.
“No, no, honey. You need to stay. We need to fix you up.” She held her until she stilled. “There you go, just relax.” She offered a gentle smile. “You have some people dying to see you.”
“People?”
“Oh, yes. Been here all night.”
Elaine knew about Michael, he was her emergency contact, but as for who else, she was at a loss.
“What time is it?”
The nurse checked her watch. “Nearly noon. If you promise to remain calm, I’ll send a visitor in.”
“Can I get some water?” She was dying of thirst.
“Sure.” She poured some from a pink plastic pitcher and handed her the cup. “I’ll be back soon.”
She left Elaine alone. The water was nice and cold and felt like a godsend against her parched mouth. Just as she was reaching for the tray with the pitcher for a refill, the door opened and Michael hurried in.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, peeking in at her.
“Hey, yourself.”
He smiled and came toward her, whipping a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. “For you, me lady.”
She rolled her eyes. “My knight in shining armor.”
He placed the flowers on the table with the water and kissed her. “You look so pitiful.” He stroked her face and pointed at all the wires. “What all are you hooked up to? I’m almost afraid to know. Can you launch the space shuttle?”
Elaine laughed. “Possibly.”
He pulled up a chair and settled in. Elaine noted his scruffy cheeks and wrinkled flannel and jeans. His ball cap also screamed casual. He had indeed been there all night.
“Michael, what happened?”
He took a deep breath. “Your heart went kaput. They had to do emergency surgery.”
“Oh God. There was damage from the infection wasn’t there?”
He nodded.
He held her hand. “I got the call, they said you were unconscious, I rushed here and have been waiting ever since.”
She closed her eyes. “I just remember seeing Barb. I saw her so clearly. And then…I woke up here.”
“She was watching over you.”
Elaine teared up, but it hurt her chest to do so. “Don’t make me cry,” she said.
He wiped the tear with his thumb.
“Am I—going to be okay?” When could she go? When could she get back to her life?
“She said the surgery went well.”
Elaine glanced around, feeling claustrophobic. She was a prisoner, held in place by wires and beeps. Her body was suddenly a machine. A real live working machine, and it needed maintenance. To think of it like that panicked her.
“You’re freaking out aren’t you?” Michael said, looking around as well. “I would too.” He patted her hand. “Try not to think about it.”
“What am I supposed to think about?”
“Well, you could sleep and heal. Or…you could think about those two lovely women out there in the waiting room.”
She felt her eyebrows furrow. “What?”
He couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, I wasn’t sure how you were going to react to that.”
“What women?”
“Well, they are both blonde. Short hair. Built about the same.”
“Oh, Jesus.” She covered her heart with her hand.
Michael looked at the monitor as the beeping increased. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”
She took deep breaths and calmed herself.
“They are both here?” Could it be?
“Kyle?”
Michael nodded.
“She was the one who called me.”
“Oh, fuck. She was at my house.”
“Yes.”
Elaine closed her eyes, wishing it away.
“And as for Johnnie…” Michael said.
Elaine opened her eyes with a start. “Johnnie?” She searched his eyes. “Johnnie’s here?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Who did you think the other blonde was?”
“I wasn’t sure. But I never expected Johnnie. She doesn’t even know who I am.”
Michael grew concerned. “Is this the client you’ve been telling me about?”
Elaine tried to sit up. “Johnnie’s here?”
He steadied her. “Easy, El. Lie down. I can tell her to go.”
“Johnnie? But how? When?”
He eased her back against the bed. “You need to calm down or I’m calling it quits for today.”
Elaine closed her eyes again and tried to focus on relaxing. But she knew it would be impossible until she found answers to her questions.
Chapter Thirty
“Michael, please tell me,” Elaine said.
He sighed, filled up the cup with water, and handed it to her.
“Apparently, you told Kyle to call Johnnie just before you lost consciousness. She found her number in your phone.”
Elaine sipped the cold water, but it did little to calm her. She knew she shouldn’t have Johnnie’s phone number in her phone. But she’d put it in there the day she’d go
ne to her studio in case she got lost. Of course she could have erased it. But truth be told she liked pulling it up and looking at it. Knowing that she was just a push of a button away sometimes excited her, despite knowing it was wrong.
“So Johnnie is here? She came?”
“The only time she’s budged is to pace.”
“And Kyle?”
“She was scared. She said she didn’t really know you. She didn’t even know your name.”
“No, I suppose she wouldn’t.”
“You know for two women who hardly know anything about you, they sure seem to care.” He smiled. “Of course, I’m not surprised.”
“My life is crazy,” she said aloud but more to herself.
“With women, yes, a bit so. Would you like me to ask them to go?”
Elaine looked at him, felt the love and peace in his eyes. “I think I need to say some things to Kyle.”
He pulled off his cap and ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay.”
“And as for Johnnie…”
“Have you slept with her?” he asked, replacing his cap.
“No.”
“But you want to.”
She looked away. “I can’t talk about this, Michael.”
“If your feelings for her are strong, you need to face it. Maybe now isn’t the time, but it needs to be dealt with. I know you’re not sleeping; you’re still breaking down over Barb. You’ve got a lot going on inside, El. And all this, this stress, isn’t good for you.”
“I’ll deal with it.”
“Good, but not today.”
“Michael, don’t get bossy.”
He held up his hands in innocence. “Okay, okay.” He stood then gave her a kiss. “I’ll be back tonight with the hubby.”
“’K.”
“I’ll send Kyle in.”
Elaine watched him go. Then she braced herself to face Kyle. When she entered, she came with a soft smile. She stood at the foot of the bed, hands in pockets. She looked uncomfortable.
“You okay?”
Elaine laughed a little. “I’m fabulous, thanks.”
“I, uh, was really worried.”
“I know. I’m sorry for that, Kyle. You should’ve never been put in that position.”
“I’m glad I was there.”
“Well, yes, I am too. But as far as being there in the first place…that was wrong. So I owe you a huge thanks for probably saving my life and a huge apology for the way things have been going between us.”
Kyle leaned on the bed, staring at her hand for a moment. “I accept the thank-you, but the apology is not necessary. You’ve been straight up with me about what goes on between us. I just really like you, so I pushed things. I guess I hoped to wear you down.”
Elaine watched her fidget with nerves. “I can appreciate that. And once upon a time, I was young and got caught up in the same thing. It never works, Kyle. You deserve someone who feels the same as you. As nice as you are…and caring…I find it hard to believe that you can’t find someone.”
She looked up. “It just hasn’t happened. Not yet.”
“It will.”
She laughed. “Promise?”
“Yes. But don’t expect it to happen on that dating app.”
“Yeah, okay.” She rubbed her upper arm. “Why don’t you have someone?”
Elaine swallowed with difficulty. “I do.”
Kyle looked defeated. “Right. Yeah. The woman in the waiting room.”
Elaine wanted to disagree, but she stopped herself. “I’m sorry, Kyle.”
“No, no need. Thanks for being honest from the get-go.”
She gave a wave and left the room, leaving Elaine alone with her thoughts. Anticipation began to build in her gut, and the beeping heart rate monitor increased. She breathed deeply and tried not to think about Johnnie just a short distance away. Probably pacing the hallway, wondering if she should come or go. Maybe she’d already made up her mind when she saw Kyle come in. She was probably assuming all sorts of things about her.
“Christ,” she said, palming her forehead.
What was Johnnie going to do? More importantly, how was she going to react to whatever Johnnie chose? She sipped more water and pressed back into the pillow. She listened to the machine, felt the pinch of the IV in her hand. Imagined the drip of the saline into her bloodstream. She felt the cool air, the starchy feel of the sheets, the tight tucking of her feet beneath a blue blanket. She focused on everything she could to keep her mind off Johnnie. But eventually, after several minutes that felt like an eternity, she heard a knock at the door and the sound of it opening.
Johnnie.
Chapter Thirty-one
The room wasn’t as bright as the hallway, and Johnnie was thankful as she entered Elaine’s room. She could see slivers of sunshine pushing through drawn vertical blinds. Though her heart was in her throat, she kept moving, putting on a small but completely intimidating smile. She saw the foot of the bed first, then her gaze traveled up Elaine’s tucked in body to her face. Her smile nearly faltered at the sight of her pale skin with darkening around her eyes. She fought a look of deep concern and instead smiled brighter, holding out the flowers she’d brought for her.
“These are for you,” she said, coming to stand next to her. Her hands shook holding them so she laid them on the bed. Elaine took them gingerly and brought them to her nose to inhale.
“Yellow roses,” she said. “Thank you.”
Johnnie rubbed the back of her neck. “You need some yellow right now.”
“I believe you’re right.” She smiled, motioned for Johnnie to sit, and lightly touched the petals, visibly reacting to the softness of them. “I could touch them for hours,” she said.
Johnnie watched her graceful hands and recalled just how soft and perfectly spiraled the petals were. “I know what you mean,” she said.
A nurse came in before they could say much more. She checked the machines and silenced the beeping. Elaine thanked her profusely and asked for pain medicine. Johnnie felt a stab in her chest at hearing the request. She didn’t like the thought of Elaine in pain. She could hardly stand to see her as she was. She just wanted to yell at someone to fix her so she could take her in her arms and take her home. The yearning was surprising; she’d only ever felt that way about Jolene. It was a protectiveness, a compassion. An empathy. And she couldn’t believe how strong it was.
Johnnie pressed her palms to her denim-clad thighs as the nurse left and came back. She injected something into the IV line. Elaine thanked her again and she left them, but not before she let Johnnie know that her visit should be short. Elaine needed her rest.
Elaine unwrapped the roses, plucked one from the banded bunch, and set the rest on her tray. She held the one she’d chosen to her nose, allowing it to linger before it drifted to her lips where it lightly caressed.
Johnnie swallowed with difficulty, and she could feel her skin flush with heat. The sight was almost as erotic as it was absolutely beautiful.
A nearly broken beautiful woman, drawing strength and comfort from a perfect rose.
“I suppose you know all about me now,” Elaine said, glancing over at her. The look was calm, pleasant, as if they were having an everyday conversation.
Still, Johnnie felt a bit of shame. Elaine had not intended for her privacy to be shared.
“I know your name,” Johnnie said. “And Michael.”
Elaine refocused on touching the rose. “How do you feel now that you know those things?”
Johnnie thought for a moment, a little surprised at the question. “I guess I don’t think anything. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“Yes, now you know. My heart truly is broken.” She smiled at her own humor.
“Was,” Johnnie said. “They said they fixed it. Gave you a new valve.”
Elaine closed her eyes and inhaled the rose. “No, it still is. I’m afraid it always will be.”
Johnnie didn’t argue. She recalled the other woman who had
waited with them. Who was she? An ex? A current lover? Johnnie hadn’t liked the jealous feeling she’d felt in meeting her. She’d acted possessive of Elaine and defensive toward Johnnie as if she were a threat.
Was Elaine referring to her or someone else? Who had broken her heart?
“You want to know why, right? Why my heart is broken.” She looked at Johnnie with wide eyes. Seeking eyes.
“Only if you want to tell me.” She grew nervous. She was unsure of Elaine’s motives.
“You aren’t curious?”
Johnnie felt nailed to her chair, on the spot. Elaine had pegged her with her fiery gaze.
“Tell me,” she said.
Johnnie gripped the armrests just as she’d done at their first meeting. “Yes, I want to know,” she breathed.
Elaine didn’t let up, but she began twirling the rose with her fingers. “My wife died,” she said.
Johnnie felt as though she’d been slapped she was so shocked at the matter-of-fact statement.
“I-I’m sorry,” she managed.
Elaine looked at the rose as if its twirling dance were giving her messages.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” she said. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
They sat in silence, and Johnnie’s mind went into overdrive as she thought about Elaine losing her spouse. It explained all that had happened back at her studio. It explained the tightly harnessed desire she’d seen in her, the well-manicured control she had.
“And you want to know about the other woman,” she said. “She looks similar to you don’t you think?”
She blinked, and Johnnie saw that her eyes were glossed over, and her lids open and shut too slowly. The drug had kicked in.
“I guess,” she said as she stood.
Elaine reached out and grabbed the belt loop of her jeans. “Where you going?”
“You need to rest.” Gently, Johnnie unhooked her fingers and held her hand.