That Peaceful Place
Day seven. Marie had another fitful night’s sleep. She felt guilty sleeping in a clean, comfortable, safe place knowing that Rachael was likely having to deal with something much more exposed. Alone. Or maybe not alone.
As the morning dragged on, Marie’s intense emotions were interjected with feelings of numbness. While she tried to keep her thoughts positive, her mind kept going back to the worst scenarios. She wished everything inside of her would shut down, at least until the uncertainty ended. The not knowing was the worst.
Claire answered the ringing phone and a minute later came running out of the kitchen. “They found her!” she shouted. “And she’s alright!” She gave the phone to Marie, who was sitting at the kitchen table.
Marie was shocked to hear Karen’s voice on the other end of the phone. She listened with tears rolling down her face while Karen talked.
“Rachael is here, and she’s okay. She’s had a rough week, but she’s here now and she’s okay.”
“What happened?”
“I’m going to tell you all I know. It isn’t much. Judy broke into Ben’s house and tried to kidnap Rachael. When Ben came into Rachael’s room, he tried to stop her. That’s when she shot him.”
“Who? Judy?”
“Yes, Judy. Judy shot Ben, and she and Rachael ended up in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Rachael said she hitchhiked here. I don’t know any more details. She was so worn out that after I checked her over, I let her go to bed.”
“I’ll be home just as fast as I can. Can I talk to her? Do you think she’s awake?”
“No, she’s sleeping. Do you want me to wake her?”
“No. Let her sleep. Sounds like she needs it.” She let a jittery laugh escape. “Just tell her I love her, and I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
“So what happened?” Jonathan asked after she hung up the phone. “Wait. Don’t start until I get back. I need to call the Feinsteins.”
“Claire, you call Walter. He can drive us to the airport while Marie tells us what happened. And I’ll call the chief too.”
In the car, Marie filled them in on as much as she knew. “Oh, good heavens!” Claire gasped.
“I don’t know anything more. Karen said it was all she could do to get Rachael to tell her the bare facts of what happened before she collapsed in the guest bedroom.”
“Oh my God in heaven. That poor girl,” Claire sighed.
“Karen made sure she was okay, physically anyway, before letting her fall asleep.”
Jonathan and Claire shook their heads. “She probably doesn’t know her father is dead,” Claire said.
Marie nodded. “No. I guess I’ll have to be the one to tell her.”
“It won’t be easy.”
“I know.”
“What are you going to do, Marie?”
Marie understood what he meant. “First I’m going to go home and make sure that child is alright. Then I’ll call Greg and Gloria, and we’ll figure it out. Rachael can certainly stay with me, temporarily at least—if it’s okay with the Feinsteins, that is. But it’s complicated, given her mother is still around.”
“Oh, she’ll go to jail for sure,” Jonathan assured them. “Rachael was a witness, for God’s sake. I think you can count on her being out of the picture for a long while.” Walter pulled the limo up to the airport curb. Jonathan turned toward his daughter. “We’re here for you if you need anything, sweetheart. Have a safe trip, and call us when you know more.”
Claire gave Marie a sympathetic look. “We’ll make sure the Feinsteins are kept in the loop. I think their week of Shiva ends today.”
Marie entered her apartment feeling like she was walking into someone else’s home. Karen greeted her with a hug. “How are you, hon?”
“I’m okay. The question is, how are you?” Marie asked.
“I’m okay. C’mon, let’s go out here,” Karen whispered, guiding Marie to the porch.
“No, wait.” Marie went to the spare bedroom and peeked in on Rachael, who was curled up in a fetal position, her back facing the door. She tiptoed toward her, just far enough to see the peaceful expression on her deceptively callow face, then left the room.
She joined Karen on the porch. Two glasses of wine sat on the wicker end table, but Marie, wanting to have all her wits about her when Rachael woke up, didn’t drink hers.
They kept their voices to a whisper. “She’s still sleeping?” Karen asked.
“Mm-hmm. You’re sure she’s okay?”
“I think so. Like I said on the phone, I checked her out pretty well. She’s exhausted, that’s for sure, and very relieved it’s over.”
Marie took in a deep breath. “Tell me more about what happened to her.”
“Don’t know much more than what I already told you. She rang the doorbell because, of course, I had locked the outside door. I went down to see who it was, and when I looked out the window, I didn’t see anyone at first. Then I heard scratching at the bottom of the door, and so I looked down, expecting to see a cat or something, and saw her, kind of crumpled up, leaning against the door.”
Marie sighed. “Good grief.”
“I know. So I opened the door and looked down at her. She looked up with the most pitiful face you ever saw and started to cry. I helped her up the stairs, sat her down on the sofa, and asked her if she was alright. She just shook her head, not saying anything.”
“Do you think she was in shock?”
“I don’t think so now. But then, I didn’t know what to think. She asked for a glass of water. So I got that for her, and after she took a sip, she asked me where you were. I told her, and she asked me to call you. And I said, ‘Not until you tell me what happened.’ That’s when she told me her mother broke into their house, shot Ben, and kidnapped her. She said they stayed in this dirty room in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and she escaped in the middle of the night and hitchhiked here.”
Marie shook her head. “I can’t believe this. She was missing a week! Were you able to tell her I was on my way?”
“Yeah. And when she heard that, she started to cry again.” Karen’s look was serious. “She really needs you, Marie.”
Marie nodded and waited for the tears to stop welling up in her eyes. “I can’t wait to put my arms around her and tell her everything’s going to be alright.”
“I know, hon. I know.”
“You said she had bruises. Are they bad?”
“Not really. I gave her one of your nightgowns and stayed with her while she undressed. There are black and blue marks on her legs and one on her back, but that’s about it.” Karen paused. “I hope I did the right thing by not bringing her to the hospital or the doctor or something. It looked to me like the thing she needed most was sleep.”
Marie reached over and patted Karen’s hand. “You did the right thing. And I can never thank you enough for staying here…and being here for...”
“I could use a hug,” Rachael said in a soft, broken voice. When their eyes met, Rachael started to cry.
Marie jumped up and put her arms around her, burying Rachael’s face in her chest. “You’re safe now, sweetheart. You’re safe here with me.”
The held each other until Rachael’s sobs waned into soft tears. Karen mouthed, “I’m going to go. Okay?”
Still holding onto Rachael, Marie peered over her shoulder at Karen and nodded. They stayed in the hug several more seconds. Then, with a gentle touch, Marie pushed her away and examined Rachael’s red swollen face. “C’mon, let’s sit.”
They stared at each other for a long moment before Rachael spoke, her hands clasped in her lap. “Are you mad at me?” she asked in a shaky voice.
Marie reached out for her hands. “Of course not, hon.” She gave her hands a gentle squeeze. “I was worried sick about you, and I’m just so glad you’re here and alright. Are you alright? Maybe we should have a doctor look you over.”
Rachael shook her head. “I’m okay.”
“Do you want to talk about what happened now, or d
o you want to wait until morning?”
“I can talk some now,” she said, her voice barely audible.
“Your mother broke into your house. Is that when it all started?”
Rachael gulped before talking. “Mm-hmm. She came in through my bedroom window. I was sound asleep, and the next thing I knew someone had their hand over my mouth.”
“You didn’t know it was her?”
“Not at first. I tried to scream, but her hand was so tight, I couldn’t. And then she grabbed my arm and started dragging me toward the window. I started kicking and knocked my Dr. Pepper sign clear across the room.” She paused to take a couple of breaths.
“Your Dr. Pepper sign?”
“Yeah. Something one of Mom’s boyfriends probably stole. Mom wanted it, but he gave it to me.”
She rubbed the back of Rachael’s hands. “Go on.”
“She had this wild look on her face. It was crazy.” She paused while she took in a couple of deep breaths. “Anyway, Dad must have heard the noise and he came in. They said some things back and forth, like Mom said she wasn’t going to let Dad have me any longer, that I was going with her, and Dad tried to get me away from her, and that’s when she pulled out the gun.”
Marie shook her head and let her talk.
“Then she shot him.” She barely got the words out. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Right in front of me.” She squeezed her eyelids tight and took in another deep breath. “Is he alright?” she asked with a distraught face.
Marie put her arm around her shoulder. “No. I’m sorry, honey. He didn’t make it.”
She held Rachael until she stopped sobbing. “Do you want to stop?”
“No.”
“What happened next, hon?”
“She dragged me out the window and to her car and threw me in the back seat and then floored it. I couldn’t get out on her side ‘cause there were just two doors, but I looked over at the other door and thought maybe I could get out that way, but she had tied that door with rope.”
“Sounds like she had this planned out pretty well in advance.”
“Yeah. We drove a long time. I thought about hitting her or something from the back seat, knock her out or something, but I was afraid maybe that would cause a crash, so I didn’t.”
“Did she say anything while she was driving?”
“No. She was too peed off to say anything. After awhile I asked her if she would just let me go on the side of the road or something, and I told her I wouldn’t say anything to anyone. But she just kept telling me to shut up.”
“Karen said you ended up in Kenosha, Wisconsin.”
“Yeah. But I didn’t know where I was then. We stopped at this sleazy motel or something. She dragged me outta the car and pounded on the door, and this creepy-looking big daddy opened the door and let us in.”
“Could you describe him to the police, do you think?”
She nodded. “Anyway, they locked me in the bathroom and started talking, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying, even with my ear on the door. Then I heard footsteps, and he said, ‘I gotta take a piss.’ Next thing I knew the door flew open and I flew out. Mom was standing by the front door with the gun dangling from her hand and told me, ‘Don’t even think about leaving.’ I asked her why she was doing this, and she just told me to shut the …well, to shut up again.”
Marie tried not to let the horror she felt inside leak out onto her face. “You must have been scared to death. I am so sorry you had to go through that, Rachael. Do you want to go on or finish in the morning?”
Some color came back to her face. “I want to go on, but I’m a little hungry.”
“When’s the last time you ate?”
“Yesterday.”
“Come on. I’ll make you a sandwich.”
Rachael continued to talk while she wolfed down the sandwich. “By this time it was almost daylight, but Mom was tired and said she was going to get some sleep. So she went into the bedroom and closed the door. But first she threw out a shirt and a pair of pants of hers for me to put on, ‘cause I was still in my PJs, and then she left me with what’s-his-name.”
“Do you know his name?”
Rachael shook her head. “She called him ‘dog.’ But I could think of a few other names for him. Anyway, I had to sit in the living room with cootie guy while Mom slept. He had the TV on but nothing much was on at that time. He kept getting up to change the channel, and when all he could get were test patterns, he got mad and kicked it.”
“You said your mother had the gun before. Where was the gun now?”
“Sitting on the coffee table. Anyway, he got a beer from the fridge and before he could finish it, he fell asleep on the couch.” She gulped down a breath of air. “So I bolted out the front door and ran as fast as I could. Through the parking lot and across the street.”
“He didn’t try to stop you?”
“He was passed out. There were a lot of beer bottles lying around. Too boozed up to even know I was gone, probably.”
Marie rested her arms on the dining room table. “Go on.”
“I really didn’t know where I was running to, I was just running.” She took the last bite of sandwich. “I was running through this truck stop when I ran right into, I mean right into, this big fat dude. He put his hands on my shoulders and gave me a creepy look and then asked me where I was going in such a hurry. I told him away from here, and I tried to get away from him, but he held me pretty tight.”
Marie got up to fill Rachael’s glass with more milk, her stomach doing flip-flops.
“He started talking to me like he wanted to help me, but he was so big, he kinda scared me, and I just wanted to get away. Then this other guy came up to us. He was much smaller and looked nicer. He asked the big dude—his name was Prick—what he was doing with such a young girl, and I go…well, I lied and said, ‘I’m not so young. I’m sixteen.’ Then the short guy asked me where I was headed, and I said Kansas.”
“What did you say his name was?”
“Which one?”
“The first guy.”
“The short guy called him Prick.”
“That’s what I thought you said. Okay, go on.”
“Probably just a nickname. Anyway, after I said Kansas, they both started laughing, and the short guy asked me if my name was Dorothy.” She rolled her eyes. “Very funny. Then Prick said, ‘I’m going as far as Chicago. You can ride with me.’ I looked at the short guy, and he said Prick was okay, that I could go with him. Then he asked me if I was hungry, and I said yes, so he went into the truck stop and brought me back a burger.”
“So you got into the truck with this guy?”
Rachael nodded.
“Oh my.” All sorts of thoughts raced through Marie’s head. “Did he hurt you at all, Rachael? Be honest with me. You can tell me anything.”
Her eyes went wide with innocence. She shook her head. “No. We just rode without saying much. He told me he was headed for Akron, Ohio, I think it was, where he had a wife and three kids. A daughter my age.”
Marie let out a big sigh. Rachael kept her gaze on Marie’s face a long moment. “Don’t worry. I’ve spent most of my life depending on people I don’t trust or even know, not Ben or anything, but before. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing for me to do, but...”
“I know, hon. Go on.”
“Anyway, then when we got to Chicago, he talked to another truck driver on the radio, and he told me he was going to drop me off at the bus station where this other guy would take me the rest of the way.”
“He dropped you off at a bus station?”
“Yeah. But no other trucker ever came by.”
“So what did you do?”
She shrugged. “I just sat in the bus station all day, and when it got dark, I found a spot in the corner and dozed off and on all night.”
Marie listened with intensity as Rachael’s story unfolded, feeling a sinkhole of fear in her own gut she hadn’t felt for years. “Weren’t
you scared?”
“Yeah, I was scared. But I just kept telling myself to look forward, and I did something my mom taught me.”
“What’s that?”
“First you sit with your ankles crossed. Then you put your hands in your lap and close your eyes. Then you take in a deep breath and let it out slowly, and you have to think about what you’re doing, how you’re breathing. In and out, or it won’t work. You do this ten times. Now this is the best part. Then you let your head go to your peaceful place.”
“Where’s your peaceful place?”
“Well, everybody’s is different. You just make it up. Mine is in the middle of a rainforest. And while I’m there, I listen real carefully so I can hear the waterfall in the background and the birds singing.” She closed her eyes. “If I really concentrate on it, I can even feel the air on my face and little sprinkles of water from the waterfall.” She opened her eyes. “And you can go there anytime you want to.”
“That’s beautiful, Rachael. I think I’ll have to remember that the next time I’m scared.”
“You? You get scared?”
“Everyone gets scared. You will never know how scared I was for you when you were missing.”
Rachael flashed a guarded smile. “Anyway, so the next day someone in the bus stop said there was a soup kitchen down the street where you could get a meal, but you had to listen to a church sermon first, which I didn’t mind. I’d done it before with Mom. So I walked over there and ate.”
“What was that like?”
“Pretty crummy, but I was really hungry, so it was no big deal.” She paused with a distant look on her face. “As far as soup kitchens go, I guess it wasn’t that bad. I’ve been in worse. Anyway, I asked someone in there if they knew of any shelters who took kids, and this woman told me of one. It took me awhile to find it, but I did. I wanted to go there because sometimes if your timing is right, you can make a connection. Sometimes you have to stay a few days and be part of the scene before connecting, but after crashing there for three days, I didn’t. That’s the longest a kid can stay, because then they call Juvey.”
“Juvey?”
“Juvenile Hall.”
Marie couldn’t believe that was their actual policy, but she didn’t question it. “What kind of connection?”
Daughters Page 25