“Lucky for you, I’m a carnivore.”
Elena wandered up and kissed Manny, then me. I threw my arms around her.
“Julie, you look beautiful in that dress,” Elena said. “I love that color on you. And the shop is wonderful. You’ve put together such a nice tribute to my family.” Her eyes began to water. “It’s so nice to see all the pieces displayed like this. My sister Estrella would have loved this. And my mother, too.”
“I sincerely hope so. I tried to honor their memories. I’m afraid such valuable pieces will have to be put back into the vault after everyone goes home. The collection has attracted international attention. We’ve had some impressive offers. I’ve been approached by buyers regarding a number of the pieces. Are you interested in selling any of them?”
“I might be. We can talk about it. How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” I said, “just anxious for it to be over. Nothing fits me anymore. I’ll be glad to get out of these maternity clothes.”
“I’m so excited about the baby, for both of you.” Elena started crying again. I could tell she was wishing it were Manny and I preparing for this special time in our lives. Maybe my mother had told her the truth?
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Gellar,” Matt assured her. “Everything will be fine. Julie already has her overnight bag packed and waiting here in the office. She takes it home with her every night and brings it back. Since she practically lives here at Stones, it’s more likely she’ll go into labor here.”
“I think you’re overdoing it, Julie,” Elena said. “You have been working such long hours getting ready for the opening.”
“This is my last night at the store until after the baby is born. I promise. Oh, wait, I see a reporter from Sparkle magazine. I’ve got to go over and talk to him. He’s promised us the cover of the Christmas issue.” I squeezed Elena’s hand, kissed Matt, and slid by Manny as I waddled over to where the reporter was standing at the door.
“Julie,” Mercedes said, walking with me toward the door. “We’ve broken all sales records. This is our best day ever, including last Christmas.”
“That’s great, Mercedes. You’re doing a fantastic job. And thanks for agreeing to pick up the slack for me while I’m out on maternity leave.”
“I’m flattered that you asked me. What are friends for?”
After I talked to the reporter and made some suggestions to the magazine’s photographer, I walked over to my mother.
“So, Mom, what do you think?”
“You were right. Stones is first-class. It’s something to be proud of. And it was all your vision. The design, the pieces we brought back from Europe, and the Estrella Collection was a stroke of genius.”
“I’m so glad you’re pleased.”
“And I’ve taken so many orders tonight. I’m afraid we’re going to run out of jewelry.”
“I doubt that.”
“I’m serious. I’ve never seen so many customers. And once all the buzz about the shop gets out, we’re going to have a great Christmas season.”
“Yes, and have you seen Mrs. Gottlieb?” I asked wistfully. “I think she might be the lucky woman to walk away with the yellow diamond tonight. I’ll be sorry to see it go.”
“Let’s keep our fingers crossed,” Sylvia replied.
My mother excitedly rushed off to help another customer.
After the last guest left the shop, I allowed myself the luxury of propping my feet up on my desk for a brief respite. Antonio had taken Estrellita out to celebrate, and Manny was dropping his parents off at their house.
Matt wanted to drive me home, but I told him I had too much to do to close the shop. I had my own car in the lot and convinced him I could manage to get home by myself. I was only pregnant, not incapacitated.
He finally relented, not wanting to cause friction on what he knew was one of the most important nights of my life.
I wriggled out of my shoes. My feet were sore, and I longed to soak them in a hot tub or have Matt massage them in the privacy of our bedroom. Mmm. That would be nice. Matt gave great massages. Perhaps I had overdone it this evening. I hadn’t accepted much help. I had wanted to do everything myself because I’d wanted everything to be perfect. Trying to achieve perfection was a habit I’d have to break, or it would break me first.
Once the baby was born, I would have my hands full. And less time to worry over every detail at Stones. Truthfully, I hadn’t done much to prepare for the birth. Matt had been the one to turn the second bedroom in our apartment into a nursery. I had been too busy with the opening to be involved. I had promised myself I would devote the next two weeks to the project. That’s how I thought of the baby right now, as a project. I hadn’t had the time to really think through what was about to happen to me and how my life would change once the baby made its appearance as a living breathing little person. A person I suddenly couldn’t wait to meet. A sweet little girl or a precious little boy.
I was singing along to a song on the radio in my office as I began to lock away the pieces from the Estrella Collection in the vault. I had placed my overnight bag, shoes, and my beaded evening bag and wrap on the desk in my office so I’d remember to turn off the radio before I left. I needed those reminders because pregnancy was definitely making my mind wander. I supposed I was singing because I was so happy lately. Matt had been wonderful, and I was beginning to get comfortable with thinking of Manny as just a good friend. I still couldn’t quite warm up to the White Witch, but I was determined to remain civil to her. Thankfully, Manny’d had the decency to prevent her from coming to the opening.
I walked to the back of the shop to place the jewels in the vault. I examined the emerald medallion. It sparkled in the beam of artificial light as I turned it over in my fingers for the last time. The silver and emerald and the memories weighed heavily on my mind. Now that I was no longer wearing the stone, I felt a huge weight had been lifted from my heart. It had been a millstone around my neck. Once it had brought me such joy, but it was also the cause of a lot of pain and bad memories. I flexed the hand that held it. I decided I’d put the medallion in the vault and save it for my daughter, if I had a girl, to wear when she became a bride. Perhaps that would close the circle and give Elena’s tragic story a happy ending.
I locked the necklace carefully away in the safe. It was part of my past now. It had been my connection to Manny, but I no longer needed it because he was no longer part of my life. He had been my best friend, my first love, my first lover, my best lover. The father of my child. But somehow that hadn’t been enough for us, and I was going to have to make a fresh beginning without him.
I felt something wet between my thighs, and a stream of liquid soaked the carpet. That’s when the sharp pain hit, and I doubled over from the intensity of it. I had to get to a phone. The baby was coming. Suddenly I felt dizzy, and I slumped against the wall and onto the floor.
The beam of headlights blinded me. I squinted to see who was here. Maybe Matt had decided to come back. I prayed it was Matt.
There was a loud knock at the door.
“Julie, are you in there?”
“Manny,” I screamed. “I’m in the vault. The door is open.” I gestured to him, somehow making him understand.
He was beside me in a matter of seconds. When he saw me on the floor, he came undone. I didn’t ask how he knew I needed him, and he offered no explanations.
“My God, Julie! What’s wrong?”
“I think the baby’s coming,” I said.
“I’m going to call the hospital and have them send an ambulance. I don’t want to move you now.”
“No, don’t leave me,” I pleaded. I was clutching his arm, and he had to lean down to hear me speak.
“Julie, I’m not going anywhere, count on it,” Manny said, and squeezed my hand. “I’ll be right here. Let me just make this one call.” He eased away gently.
I held his eyes and had trouble turning away from the raw emotion I saw there. Jealousy, desire, and re
al regret. I hadn’t realized the intensity of his feelings for me or that he was capable of such feelings, and it seemed to come as an even bigger surprise to him.
When he returned to my side, he kissed me tenderly on the forehead, held me, and stroked my sweat-soaked hair as I leaned into him.
“Everything will be all right,” he promised.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
“I was afraid I was going to have the baby alone right here in the shop.”
“I’m with you now. You don’t have to be afraid. I was driving by on the way home from my parents’ house, and I saw the lights. You shouldn’t have stayed so late.”
I felt another pain, and I wanted to cry out again, but Manny held my hand tighter and spoke soothing words like one would use to calm a fussy child or a lover. I was bone tired and lacked the strength to play games, too weary to worry about my pride, what little pride I had left. I didn’t want to open myself up to any more hurt, but I knew we were taking the last step in the tenuous tango we had been dancing since we’d met. Whenever I got closer, he pulled away. When I tried to move away, he pulled me back. I was all tapped out, too drained to do the dance any more. It was costing me too much.
“You know, I’ve been chasing you all my life,” I sighed.
“I think I’ve been running away from you my whole life, when all I really wanted was to run toward you. I guess I thought you’d always be there for me.”
“I’ve been here the whole time. All you had to do was reach out. But I didn’t think you really wanted me.”
“You were always so sure of what you wanted,” Manny said. “I wasn’t. Until now.”
“Now is too late,” I whispered softly as we waited for the ambulance to arrive.
When the vehicle screeched to a halt in front of the hospital emergency room, I was in pain and still clutching Manny’s hand like a lifeline.
“Julie, what is it?” Manny said as he noticed my grimace.
“I think the baby’s coming, right now.”
“This woman is having a baby,” Manny called out frantically to the attendant.
When I was settled in a private room, Manny called my mother and told her to notify Matt to come to the hospital. Then he vanished. It all happened so quickly that by the time everyone arrived, the baby was already on its way. There was no time for an epidural. It was past time for procrastination. I was going to have to face up to the fact that I was having this baby.
Matt arrived and stayed at my side throughout the delivery. What I really wasn’t prepared for was how much I loved the new life Manny and I had created and that Matt and I would share. From the moment the baby was placed in my arms, I knew that being his mother was who I was meant to be.
When the nurse brought the baby into my room for his first feeding, Matt looked at his new son with amazement. Miraculously, the baby had a full head of dark hair, with one unmanageable curl that was beginning to wind its way down his forehead, just like mine.
Matt couldn’t seem to get over his new family.
We had talked about Italian names, since Matt still believed my son had been conceived in Italy.
“No, Matt, but I do want to tell you who the father is.”
“I’d really rather not know. This baby is mine. I want to start with a clean slate. No baggage, no regrets.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” We decided to name him Josh, after Matt’s deceased grandfather.
Manny came into my room later that night, after visiting hours were over. I don’t know how he managed it. He had probably charmed one of the night nurses. It was dark and quiet, and I was feeding Josh by lamplight. For a moment, as the artificial halo bathed the three of us, I envisioned that Manny and I were married and our little family was complete.
From force of habit, Manny leaned over to pull the curl back from my forehead and did the same to the baby’s head, pressing a tender kiss against my brow. Then he dragged a chair close to my bed and sat down next to me so he could concentrate on watching me nurse. He seemed fascinated by the baby.
“He’s absolutely perfect, isn’t he?” I smiled.
“I can’t see a single flaw,” Manny agreed.
He has your dark coloring, I was thinking, and your beautiful brown eyes.
“He has your little pug nose,” Manny said aloud, transfixed by the baby as he reached out tentatively to touch the baby’s nose and every other feature on his tiny, angelic face.
“Hopefully not my sense of smell,” I said, laughing foolishly as the baby curled his hand around Manny’s finger.
“I think he knows me,” Manny said.
“That’s just what babies do.” I began to cry silently.
“Julie, are you okay? What is it? Is it something I said?”
“I’m just so happy.” This baby wouldn’t know his father. And that was sad.
I never tired of hearing Manny talk. His voice lulled me into a trance; its steady rhythm rocked the baby and me into a deep slumber.
When I awoke, Manny was gone and Matt was by my side. It must have been a dream. I had made the biggest mistake of my life, I thought, right before I dozed off again.
PART THREE
THE ROAD HOME
PALM COAST, FLORIDA, LATE SUMMER 2014
Chapter Twenty-Two:
Out of Step
I’m afraid I am making the biggest mistake of my life, I think, the moment I lay eyes on Manny Gellar again. I know I’m about to do something I’m going to regret. So what is sex in the general scheme of things? My well-honed sense of right and wrong is in overdrive. But then Manny holds my hand as we walk toward the Crab Shack Café on AIA. That simple act of walking in tandem, in itself, is a minor miracle. Lately, wherever I go with Matt—to the grocery store, the Mall, or to a movie—he walks ahead of me, always in a hurry. Sometimes he gets all the way to his destination before he even notices I am missing in action. It’s like when he’s finished in the bathroom and he turns out the lights while I’m still brushing my teeth, as if I am not even in the room. That’s how out of step we have become with each other. Warranted or not, my anger at Matt is still raw.
The seafood restaurant, not high on atmosphere to begin with, looks even less appetizing all boarded up.
“Do you think it’s even open?” I ask.
Manny knocked loudly on the door.
“We’re closed,” the manager bellows. “Don’t you folks know there’s a dangerous hurricane coming?”
“Please,” Manny pleads. “We just got into town. My wife is hungry, and we haven’t had a chance to go to the grocery store yet. I’m not sure if the supermarket is even open.”
I crinkle my nose at his improvised wife remark.
“Okay. I think we can scrape together something, but you two better evacuate as soon as you leave here. The bridge will be closing soon.”
“Thanks,” Manny says politely.
Lunch goes much better than I expect. I’m hardly nervous at all. Manny looks different, yet still the same to me. He has gained weight. His hair is turning gray. Somehow he has morphed into his father since the last time we’ve seen each other, maybe a year ago. I think it was at the Publix in Miami. His witchy wife was with him, of course, so we couldn’t say more than a few impersonal words to each other. There was so much more I wanted to say.
But underneath the outward appearance I recognize my first love. After the first few awkward minutes, we get used to being around each other, and then things start to settle down.
“You look good, Jewels,” he says sincerely, eying me appreciatively. I’ve taken off some weight since the last time I saw him. I could thank Matt for the days he forced me to work out. Working out bored me to tears, but it did have its benefits. And my hair is longer now, streaked with expensive blond highlights, courtesy of my overpriced salon, The Strand.
“Have you been on the Science Diet?” he asks. “Nita is on that.”
“No, my dog is on the Science Diet,” I correct him. “I’m on the South Beach Diet.”
“You haven’t changed at all.” He dispenses his customary charm out of an internal smoothie machine.
I ask him about work. He says he’s under constant pressure to sell more, grow more, be more. Right in the middle of a potential real estate bust in South Florida. He looks depressed, miserable, really. I guess that’s what success does to a person. And signs of his success are spreading like kudzu, literally. You can hardly drive a mile in Miami or Fort Lauderdale or up and down both coasts of Florida without seeing the familiar Gellar Group billboards or yard signs.
As we wait for our seafood order, Manny is in the mood to reminisce.
“We had some good times, didn’t we, Jewels?” he says as he leans closer to me and takes my hand. I know I will cave the moment he touches me. I try to pull away, or at least mentally prepare myself, but I know resisting will be as futile as swimming against a rising storm surge. My reaction to his touch is immediate and obvious. My heart actually skips a beat.
“I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Where did you think this was going?” he asks quietly.
“I honestly don’t know,” I reply nervously. Hesitant to break the connection, he doesn’t let go of his death grip on my hand.
“Where do you want it to go?” he presses.
That’s the way Manny is. He never answers first, never reveals his true feelings. And I’m not about to fall back into our old pattern and reveal mine only to get shot down again.
“I don’t know,” I repeat numbly, my emotions spinning out of control.
“Yes, you do, Jewels. Tell me what you want.” He stares intently into my eyes and strokes my hand gently. I shiver, although it’s not particularly cold in the restaurant or outside.
“I thought you wanted to explore our relationship,” he challenges.
“This feels more like a seduction,” I say, uncomfortable. “I’m in the market for sincerity.”
“I want to give you whatever you need,” he says.
“What if you don’t have it to give?”
“Are you looking for a proposal or something?” he snaps, shifting into irritable-child mode.
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