I stare at her for a short while and wonder if she is in the same spot as me. There’s only one way to find out. “And that’s bad?”
“Yes, it’s bad! He’s still healing. I don’t want to take advantage of him,” she almost cries out.
Yeah, she’s pretty much in the same position as me. I can’t give her any advice. She needs to figure this out on her own. However, I can be here for her.
“How are you taking advantage of him if he kissed you?” I ask.
She sighs tiredly. “He doesn’t know any better and I do.”
Pretty much the same crap I’ve been telling myself, but I’d like to hear her take on it all. “So if I were to kiss Sophia that would be wrong?”
She looks at me and frowns. “Are you telling me or asking me, Adam.”
I sigh, feeling just as tired. “I suppose I’m asking you.”
“I don’t know.” She leans back and stares out into the night. “Honestly, I don’t know. You and Sophia are a different story. Sophia is different from Jack. I’m different from you.”
What a crock of shit! “That’s not an answer, River!”
“Because, there is no right answer!” She jumps up, clearly getting more upset with the situation.
“There is always an answer, it just might not be what you want to hear,” I say softly.
She has her own reasons for not wanting to pursue a relationship with Jack, just like I have mine to stay away from Sophia.
“Then tell me the answer!” she snaps.
I get up and go to stand in front of her. “It’s not wrong for two people to enjoy each other if they both want to. I think you want Jack to kiss you, but you’re scared.”
I see anger flash across her face. “I’m not scared of Jack! He will never hurt me.”
“I didn’t say you were scared of Jack. You’re scared of what he means to you.” Just like I am scared of what Sophia means to me. I shove my hand into my hair and then look at River. She’s really going to make me spell it out for her. “You want to kiss him. You want to be with him, but then you’ll have to admit that your whole life has been a lie. You say you hate sex and I understand where you’re coming from with that, but I think you’re hiding behind your past and refusing sex because you’re scared you’ll turn out to be just like your father.”
The sound of flesh hitting flesh is sharp, and then I feel the sting. I suck in a sharp breath as I try to control my own anger.
I glare back at River. This has gone too far! “Don’t ever hit me again.” I walk away before either of us says something we’ll regret. We’re both way too emotional to think straight.
As I walk into the house, Sophia’s door closes. Yeah, I just gave River a speech about how scared she is to take things further with Jack, and here I am avoiding Sophia.
Fuck this! I walk to her room and knock on her door.
“I’m sleeping.” Her voice is muffled behind the door.
“No, you’re not,” I say back. “You just spoke to me.”
Oh yeah, nice one Adam!
“I’m in bed already,” she mumbles.
I lean back against the door and shove my hands into my pockets. “Fine, then I’ll just stand here and say what I have to say,” I call out.
It sucks talking to a door, but it’s my own fault.
“Sophia, I’d love to be the one who gets your heart, to treat you the way you deserve to be treated,” I sink down to the floor and sit flat on my ass. “You deserve a man who will give you the world, a man who will keep you safe and a man who will love you with all his heart.” I suck in a deep breath and then say, “I joined the army right out of school. I stayed in the army until it broke me. I’ve seen so many people die and many of them by my hand. When I retired I was a lost and broken man. I really thought that was the end of me. I couldn’t hold a job. I kept losing my temper over the littlest thing. I’d just been fired from my last job when River found me. She offered me this position, to help her take care of the place. I’ve poured my heart and soul into The Sanctuary. It’s all I could do to survive the destructiveness that lives inside of me.” I lean my head against the door. “It’s there, a living and breathing force. I’m scared it will explode and I don’t want you around when it happens.”
The door opens suddenly and I fall flat on my back. “Oops, sorry,” Sophia gasps. She sinks to her knees and then sits down next to me. I get up and shift closer to her, until we’re sitting side by side, leaning against the wall.
She’s wearing one of my shirts and I have to admit, she looks fucking hot in it.
“You gave me the world, Adam. I was in a prison and you gave me all of this! You keep me safe. Why do you think I’m still staying here and I haven’t moved into the main house? I feel safe with you!”
She takes my hand and holds it in both of hers, the way I use to do when she first got here.
“It feels like I’m standing on the edge of something. If I fall the darkness will consume me but I just look at all the beauty around me. I have Miss Ella, you, Jack and all the other people. You all keep the darkness away.” She gets on her knees and the shirt pulls up. She presses my hand to her chest and whispers, “Let me do the same for you, Adam. You saved me now let me save you. You won’t explode if you have something else to focus on.” She scoots a little closer to me and the action tugs at my heart. “That’s what I do. I just keep busy. I don’t think about the stuff that happened to me, because it will drag me over that edge.” She looks at me with the most innocent face. “Please, Adam, let’s just try. I want to feel what normal feels like and I want to do it with you. I don’t want anyone else. I want you.”
The words create a warm blanket around my heart. That’s all I wanted to hear and now she’s said it. I feel the last of my wall begin to crumble and I lean closer to her. She cups my face in her hands and she leans in the last of the way, letting our lips touch softly.
I bring my arms around her and pull her into my lap. She snuggles up against my chest and she lets me kiss her.
It’s not the same as that kiss we shared at the party. I can feel her tremble. I can feel her emotions spilling over into me through our joined lips. There is nothing robotic about her actions and it lights a flame of hope inside of me.
Maybe we can do this.
Just maybe she can be mine and I’ll be hers.
Sophia~
We’re eating apple pie. I like it best with ice cream. It’s really yummy then.
“Miss Ella,” Jack says, “what is love?”
I smile because I know the answer. I felt it when Adam kissed me last night. I now know love is something that makes you feel safe and happy.
“Son,” Miss Ella wipes her mouth and then looks him right in the eye. “Love is like a car accident.”
I frown at her. I lean my elbows on the table and rest my chin on my hands.
“It hits you hard and out of the blue. By the time you realize that you’re in love it’s too late to run for the hills. When it’s done with your poor heart; you’re either in a world of pain, or you’re one of the lucky ones who has a great story to tell. Love will either break you or make you.”
Jack and I both just stare at Miss Ella. That’s not the same way Adam explained it to me.
River comes to sit by the table and I notice Jack tense up.
“What Miss Ella is trying to say is that love can hurt if it’s not returned by the other person, and love can be a beautiful thing if both parties feel the same way.”
Now that makes more sense! My heart was hurting when Adam was avoiding me, but now that he’s giving us a chance it feels wonderful!
“You said you love me,” Jack snaps, drawing my attention back to them.
I look to River to see her reaction when she says, “I do love you, Jack. I -”
Jack gets up fast. “Then it should be a beautiful thing! You just said so yourself!” He rushes to the backdoor and then says, “You made me feel humiliated last night. You said I should kiss the
girl who gives me butterflies and makes my heart beat faster. You said it would be special then, but you lied.”
Oh no! I jump up and run after Jack.
“Jack!” He keeps walking towards the chapel and I follow behind him. When we get there I’m once again struck by how pretty he’s made it here. “It’s so beautiful here, Jack.” I walk over to a flower and smell it. I close my eyes and savor the scent before I go take a seat on the bench next to Jack.
I tuck my hands between my legs and just start to talk about the first thing that comes to mind. “I used to watch you through the window while you worked in the garden.”
Jack lowers his face in his hand and then he whispers, “Did you know about David? Did you know that he was fucking slaves?”
I lower my head and whisper, “Yes.” Jack jumps up and he starts to stalk up and down. “You are my friend, Sophia! Why didn’t you tell me?”
I flinch under the volume of his voice. “You know we weren’t allowed to talk about the masters and mistresses. They would punish us both!”
“You don’t understand,” he shakes his head and then he stops to look at me. “I was only a slave so David could be free. I thought I was keeping my brother safe that way.”
I slap a hand over my mouth. Now I understand why Jack attacked David! “I’m so sorry. You never said anything. I didn’t know.”
Jack comes to sit next to me again, and he leans his elbows on his knees. He stares at nothing in particular for a long while. I just sit by him, feeling bad for my part in Jack being a slave.
“I don’t blame you,” he says. “How could you have known.”
I slip my arm around his waist and I lean against his shoulder. “I love you, Jack. River loves you, too. It’s just hard for her to admit it. Give her time.”
He nudges me with his shoulder and he smiles down at me. “You really love me?”
A tear slips over my cheek and I nod. “You’re my family, Jack. You’ll always be my family.”
“Family, I like that,” he whispers. “I love you too.”
~*~
I’m making some coffee for us while Adam is showering.
There’s a knock at the door and I go to open. River looks shocked to see me. “Is Adam here?”
“Yes, he’s just taking a shower. Come in,” I say, smiling softly at her. I don’t get to talk to her much but I’m very grateful for all she’s done for me.
I walk back to the kitchen. “Would you like some?” I finish making the coffee for Adam and myself.
“No, thank you,” she says, smiling back at me. “You look good, Sophia.”
I feel my cheeks heat and I glance at Adam’s closed bedroom door. “Adam is good to me. He’s teaching me what’s right and what’s wrong.”
“I’m so happy for you.” River does really look happy for me and that makes me even happier. I know she and Adam are really close friends.
Adam comes walking down the passage and I take in his body. I love it when he only wears a pair of sweats. He looks at River and then at me, as if he’s worried about me. Just the thought that he might be concerned about me makes my tummy flip.
“Is there something you needed?” he asks River.
She shakes her head and then says, “I’m sorry for slapping you the other night. You were right and I just didn’t want to hear it. I’m so very sorry, Adam.”
My lips part in surprise. She slapped Adam? My eyes jump to his face and I watch as he smiles and then he walks over to her. He hugs her to his chest and he holds her a little while. He cups her cheek and his eyes are soft on her. “You deserve to be happy, and so does Jack.”
She kisses his cheek and gives him a thankful smile. “Thank you for always being there to point me in the right direction.”
“Always, that’s what friends are for.”
Adam sees River out and then he turns to me. “You’re going to stir a hole in that mug.”
“Oh!” I stop stirring and shove the mug across the counter.
He doesn’t take the coffee, but instead he walks around the counter to where I am. He takes hold of my hips and he lifts me onto the counter. “I missed you today,” he says, his voice hoarse. It makes my insides clench in a way I’ve never felt before.
“I missed you too,” I whisper back.
I reach out and touch his chest. I trail my fingers softly over his skin. I watch as his muscles ripple under my touch.
He brings his hand to my cheek and he slips his fingers into my hair. He presses his forehead to mine and whispers, “I’m scared, Sophia.”
“Of what?” I whisper back.
“What if we have sex and it’s not good for you?”
I place my arms around his neck. “It will be good because it will be with you. It will mean I made my own choice to have sex with you. You won’t be fucking me. You’ll be showing me how it should be done.”
“I think we should wait a little longer and just get to know each other,” he whispers close to my lips.
“But we can kiss, right?”
He smiles against my mouth, “There will always be a lot of kissing.”
Adam~
Everything seems to be getting back to normal. Sophia and Jack have settled into their new lives and they really look happy.
We’ve decided to have a barbeque so everyone can just be together in a fun environment, especially after Beverly accosted Jack.
We all just need to chill.
Tristan is helping me grill the steaks. He flips them over and then says, “The meat should be ready soon,”
His eyes dart over River’s head. I see Diane and Lizzie walking towards us.
“Be careful with Diane, she’s fragile,” River says.
He frowns at her and then huffs, “There’s nothing going on between us. Besides, she’s way too young for me.” I frown at him and if we weren’t surrounded by people I’d punch the shit out of him!
River chuckles. “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.”
I wait for River to be out of hearing distance and then I punch Tristan against his arm. “Fucker! You told me to get my head out of my ass but look at you! You still haven’t talked with her have you?”
“It’s not that easy!” he snaps, his eyes darting to where Diane is. “She’s so withdrawn. How do I even know that she wants to be with me?”
I give him a dark look. “You fucking talk to her! That’s how you find out. Go over to her and say, hey, ‘I like you, any chance you feel the same?’ and the worst thing that will happen is her saying no, and then we can all fucking live in peace again!”
Tristan laughs at my words of wisdom. “You think it’s that easy?”
“Pretty much.” I pat him on the back. “Just tell her how you feel, man. It’s a starting point.”
“Yeah, a starting point. I’ll do it later.”
~*~
I’m sitting with Sophia pressed tightly to my chest, just where she belongs.
Everyone is having a great time. I see River and Jack dancing. Christopher and Maddie will be getting married soon. Their good news just made the night so much better.
“Fire!” Someone screams. I jump up and Sophia almost falls, but I catch her in time. Making sure she’s standing, I run in the direction of the stables.
“No!” I hear Sophia scream.
Glancing over my shoulder I see her running behind me. “No, Sophia! Stay back!”
“The horses!” I hear River scream. “Get water!”
Jack runs past me, dragging the hose behind him.
“Yes, Jack! Spray right into the flames!” The man is a genius! I run into the stables and it’s already thick with smoke. With one hand I cover my mouth with my shirt, and then I start to lead the panicked horses out. Christopher and Tristan are right behind me and we work fast to get the horses to safety. It’s hard controlling the horses. When I take the second ones, my arms are burning from all the strain.
I hear a loud crash from the other side of the stables and then a scream
.
Minutes later Colby comes stumbling past me, coughing and covered in soot.
“Adam!” I hear River scream, her voice hoarse from the smoke. “Get Colby! He’s got something to do with this!”
She points in Colby’s direction and I see he’s heading for the trucks. I run and when I catch up with Colby, I take him to the ground.
“It wasn’t me! I swear!” He starts to defend himself and that only tells me he did have something to do with the fire.
Seconds later Jack comes walking towards us. He’s carrying … Beverly? “What the fuck is she doing back here?”
“Take her,” he breathes hoarsely. He almost throws her on the ground and then I see him running back in River’s direction.
Nanna! My heart clenches at the sight of Nanna unconscious. Jack picks her up and I’m torn between going to her and staying with Colby and Beverly.
I glare down at the two by my feet. “What the fuck did you do?”
“I swear man, it was all her idea!” Colby starts to ramble.
“As if!” Beverly says hoarsely. She shoves at him and I watch the two get into a full blown argument over whose fault it was.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Christopher and Tristan handling everything. I open the truck nearest to us and take some cable ties from the glove compartment. It’s a struggle but I get their hands tied. The last thing I want is a fight.
Doc pulls up behind me and I point to the house. “It’s Nanna! They took her inside.”
“Ella!” he shouts and I watch as he rushes into the house.
I shake my head and then it comes to me – Nanna, Sophia, River – they could’ve died tonight.
I yank Colby up by the front of his shirt and then I throw a punch. “Fucker! You could’ve killed someone!” I spit the words at him and then I drop him like the sack of shit he is.
“How did she know where the plantation is?” I demand. “You fucking betrayed us!”
“It wasn’t like that!” Colby shouts. “Things just happened between us. You know how it is, man. You like a girl and she likes you. We’ve been dating for a couple of months and I just wanted to show her a good time. I took her out a few times, but that’s all! I swear. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”
Saved By Him (The Monster Series Book 2) Page 11