by Meisha Camm
“Don’t compare our relationship to sports. It’s been two years going on forever and I’m tired of waiting. Listen to yourself, using the word possibly. I can’t accept possibly. What kills me is I had to give you an ultimatum to even possibly get separated from her. I shouldn’t have to give you one. You should want to be with me point-blank, period. I don’t want to have to wonder in the back of my mind if you’re with me because I made you make a decision.”
“Baby, I love you. Don’t do this to me now. This is mid season. I get enough stress from work. You’re supposed to be my stress reliever.”
“Let me make your life a little easier because I’m damn sure going to make mine easy. It’s over. I want something better than this, and I’m going to get it.”
“What’s better than what we have?”
“A man who loves me and only me. A man who I don’t have to share. You can deny it all you want. I know you’re still sleeping with her.”
“Don’t question what I do or did with my own wife.”
“I’m outta here.” I threw my hands up in the air.
“Don’t go. I need you . . . please. I love you baby with all my heart.”
“No. I think you mean a third of your heart.”
Jarrad unzipped my jeans. His hands found their way to my breasts, and his lips were kissing my neck. He had me pinned up against the refrigerator. Thomas’s tongue began to suckle my clitoris. My body was getting lost into the fixation of a lie that I’d believed far too long.
“Stop it.”
“You don’t want me to stop,” he stated, spreading my legs even farther.
I didn’t want him to stop, but it had to end.
“Let me go.”
“No. You’ll always be mine. I run this pussy.”
“Stop it,” I yelled, punching him in the face.
As he fell back on the floor, I managed to zip my jeans back up and grab my purse and keys from off the counter.
As I ran to the car, he screamed, “You’ll be back.”
As I pulled into to my driveway, I wept for hours. After two years, I finally had to let go.
Chapter 41
I went to the office to face Dr. Norris early to avoid seeing patients. I’d grown attached to them. She was probably going to fire me. I couldn’t say I didn’t deserve it, but I lost my temper on a touchy subject. I tapped gently on her door. “Dr. Norris?”
“Come in,” she responded, taking her glasses off. “Good morning.”
“Alex, I’ve been calling you for days. Why haven’t you returned my phone calls?”
“Family crisis is the reason, to sum it all up. Look, I just want to apologize for my behavior a week ago. I shouldn’t have gone postal in front of you or the other patients. I’m going to get my things out of the locker and be on my way. It’s been a pleasure working with you. I was hoping you can keep this matter between us and not tell my professor.”
“Now why would I do that?”
“You’re a nice person. Nice people give people like me breaks.”
“Ms. Gibbs, the only thing I’m upset about is you not returning my phone calls. I was concerned about you. To be honest, my husband has cheated on me, so I feel your pain. To find out about your father that way was horrible. There’s no need to apologize, but I’m going to have to tell your professor.”
“I understand your position. A fourth-year resident should be professional at all times.”
“The only thing I’m going to tell Professor Hicks about is what a fine doctor you are. I received your test results the same day you stormed out of here. I was calling to tell you the good news. I didn’t want to say it on your voice mail.”
“What? Are you sure I passed? What was my score? With all that’s been going on, I haven’t even thought about the test results.”
“You received a ninety-five percent. Congratulations! I love your bedside manner. My patients seem to agree as well. I would like to offer you a position here, starting salary two hundred and fifty thousand per year. I’m glad you’re going to take your things out of the locker because you need to move into the office next to mine. I mean, that’s if you accept my offer.”
“Of course, I accept your offer. This is a dream come true. I’ll start today,” I said, giving her a hug.
“No, that’s all right. I want to give you some time to sort things out with your parents. Besides, Ms. Philmore is coming in for a follow-up appointment. I’m not trying to get sued. I don’t make enough money for the legal fees and damages that would occur. I want to see you back here at eight Monday morning.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I headed to the door. “Oh, Dr. Norris?”
“Yes, Alexis?”
I smiled. “Thank you so much for this opportunity.”
“There’s one more thing I forgot to mention. I finished Ms. Philmore’s exam that day you stormed out of here. After I reviewed her test results, she’s pregnant.”
It looks as if I’ll be making a small trip to her house.
“Before you get upset, she’s having an abortion. I wanted you to hear it from me first.”
“Whoa!” I walked out of the door.
I decided not to mention this to Ma. How could Pop not use condoms with these women? At a time like this, I wish I had another father. I fumbled through my handbag for my keys.
* * *
Two months later, it was still hard to get out of bed in the morning. I missed Jarrad Simmons so much, and a part of me wondered if I’d made the right decision. Maybe I should have waited patiently. Maybe I should have never given him a chance, and I wouldn’t be feeling this way. I was still in love with him and in desperate need of his dick. I wanted to call him and found myself dialing the numbers and hanging before the call went through.
It’s going to be a long day. I saw charts for eleven patients sitting on my desk. First up was Gina Duncan, a retired housewife who would tell anyone about her successful children. Her daughter was a famous chef in New York City, and her son held a high position at the NASA space center.
I knocked on the door.
“Come in,” she responded.
“Mrs. Duncan, how are you feeling today?” I closed the door and walked over to the sink to wash my hands, dry and brittle from so much washing.
“Dr. Gibbs, I’m on eggshells. I just want to know my test results from the biopsy. I’d like for you to meet my daughter Emily.”
“Hi, Emily, it’s nice to meet you. I feel as if I know you because your mother is always talking about you.”
“Likewise.”
“The next time I’m in New York, I’ll be sure to come in and try your Cajun shrimp at the Fish Exscape.”
“Thank you,” Emily said.
“Now where is Mr. Duncan? I thought he was coming as well?”
“He any my son are sitting in the waiting room. This has taken a toll on both of them. It would be hard for Mitch to see me sick or, worst case scenario, dead.”
“Mom, don’t say those things.”
I opened up her chart to reread her test results. “Mrs. Duncan, the biopsy results on your left breast are benign.”
“Are you sure?”
Emily and her mother embraced each other with hugs. Then they hugged me.
“Thank you so much for getting Mom through this,” Emily whispered in my ear. “I’m going to get Dad and Thomas.”
When she said the name, chills went down my spine. “Mrs. Duncan, I still want to regularly see you getting checked for cancer.”
“Will do, doc.”
Her husband and son gave me bear hugs.
“Thanks, Dr. Gibbs.”
“Thank you all for your patience waiting for the biopsy results. Mrs. Duncan, go out and celebrate, because you’ve got a long life ahead of you,” I said and walked out the door.
“Dr. Gibbs, Ms. Simmons called and misplaced her birth control pills. May I call in the order for her?” Nurse Waters suggested.
Suddenly, the room started to spin. I was g
etting hotter by the minute, and my vision was blurry. “Sure, you can call it in. Thanks,” I slurred. The room went black, and I fell to the door.
I awoke to Dr. Norris standing over me.
“Shh. Don’t talk. You just got out of surgery. You had me worried for a while. I think of you as one of my daughters. Your fallopian tube erupted. I called Dr. Morales to get an update on your health history. He couldn’t have done the surgery because he’s out on vacation. I know you were given the abortion pill, but it didn’t work because you were too far along. Please just nod for me.” She asked, “Were you feeling any pain in the last thirty days?”
I nodded.
“Unfortunately, Alexis, I couldn’t save your Fallopian tube, but the other one is intact and working. You can still have babies. In a couple of days, I’ll release you from the hospital, depending on how you’re doing. You’re not allowed to come back to the office for another week because I want you to heal properly. Dr. Ringo and myself will divide up your patients for the time being. I contacted your parents, Charlotte, and Maria. They’re all in the waiting room. Are you up for some company?” She gently rubbed the side of my face.
I nodded again.
“All right. I’ll tell the troops to come on in.”
“Can I have a glass of water please?”
“Sure.”
Ma, Pop, Jason, Grandma, and Maria came into my room. I managed to sit up, and everyone gave me hugs. “Please, don’t make up a fuss over me. I’ll be good as new in a couple of days.”
“I want you to come stay with us till you get your strength back,” Ma ordered.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Did you want me to call Jarrad?” Maria asked.
“No. The only thing he’s good for is paying the bill. Last week, I closed out our joint checking account with around seven thousand in it, so I use that money to cover any expenses that my health insurance doesn’t pick up. I just want to get better, put this all behind me, and get on with my life. Right now, my life is my patients, but I’ll find love again someday. By the way, where’s Charlotte at?”
“I don’t know,” Maria said. “I left her a message on her cell and home voice mail letting her know I was coming to the hospital. She probably is tied up.”
Just an excuse.
After everyone left, Charlotte and Bobby came strolling in. She gave me a hug, but it felt forced. “How are you feeling?” she asked.
“I’m very sore, but it should pass in a few days.”
There was a knock on the door. “Alexis, I’m Beth Saunders, your night nurse. Please feel free to let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you. All I need is grape juice.”
“I’ll be right back.”
“Thanks for coming.”
Charlotte asked, “Can you have children ever again?”
“Yes. I still have one fallopian tube working. I don’t know, I may have children one day. Right now I’m still not ready.”
“Well . . . Bobby and I have dinner reservations. I’ll call you tomorrow to check up on you.”
“Thanks for coming,” I said.
Charlotte rolled her eyes and walked out with Bobby by her side.
Chapter 42
I looked down at my Movado watch for the date: May 15th. It’d been ten months since breaking off with Jarrad. It wasn’t easy, and he didn’t make it any easier. I beat him to the punch with the obvious tools of communication by changing my home phone number and cell phone number. Every day, he was sending through FedEx black, brown, yellow, and pink teddy bears and Godiva chocolate hearts to the office, and each day, I crushed up the chocolate and cut off the bear’s head, then wrote Return to sender on the box. The delivery guy just couldn’t understand why I was demolishing such thoughtful gifts.
This week, I’d decided to get creative and give the teddy bears to the maternity ward for the new arrivals and have the chocolate as refreshment for my patients as they waited to be seen.
After eating four pancakes with powdered sugar and maple syrup, I had a burst of calories that needed to be burned off. I headed to the park for a Sunday run. It felt good to by myself, relax, and enjoy the beautiful weather, spring being my favorite season because everything is new again.
I had a new life now. The music of Stevie Wonder, Glenn Lewis, Mary J. Blige, and Yolanda Adams consoled me when my spirits were down. Since I chose to stay in a dead-end relationship for so long, I painfully realized I wasn’t too much of a victim.
I ran around the lake several times. My mouth was bone dry, so I made a pit stop to the concession stand. As I was waiting, I couldn’t help but notice a family of four feeding the ducks. I longed so much to have one to call my own. At times like these, a part of me regretted having the abortions. I wonder if my fallopian tube not able to be saved is some sort of karma for the two previous abortions I had.
“How may I help you?” the cashier asked.
“Let me have a Dasani water, please.”
“Your total is price is two dollars.”
I can buy a six-pack of them at Farm Fresh for two fifty. I handed her the money. If I’m going to waste money, I might as well spend it on me.
My cell phone rang. (It was the hospital probably calling about Mrs. Ruckson. This was her seventh child.) “Dr. Gibbs, speaking,” I answered.
“Hello, Doc, this is Barbara Sonfield calling for your patient Ms. Ruckson. She has all ready dilated two centimeters, and her water broke. I wanted to call you before the action starts.”
“I’ll be right there. Give me thirty minutes.”
“How can I get on that line?” a man asked.
“You can’t, because it just got disconnected.” I wiped the sweat from my face.
“Nice comeback.”
“Thank you.” I laughed.
“Do you come here often? I recently moved into the area and a park like this is great for me to run in.”
“Yes, I do run here frequently, Mr. . . .”
“I apologize. I was raised with manners. My name is Xavier Sanchez.”
“I’m Alexis Gibbs.”
Xavier was of Latin descent, had smooth caramel skin, brown eyes, and jet-black curly hair. I couldn’t help noticing a tattoo on the left side of his chest that read LOUPE.
“It’s nice to meet you, Alexis.” He kissed my right hand.
My guard was looking up and down at this man. He probably comes here to scope out potentials. I wasn’t falling for any of his games.
“Would you like to go for a bike ride? They are renting out pretty fast. We may want to move over there as soon as possible.”
“I’ve got to get to the hospital in less than fifteen minutes. One of my patients is ready to bring an eighth addition to the family.”
“Wow! You’re a doctor? Well, don’t let me keep you. May I—”
“Excuse me for one moment.” I answered my cell phone. “This is Dr. Gibbs speaking.”
“Dr. Gibbs, this is Barbara again for Ms. Ruckson. Dr. Walker is giving our floor a hand. He just checked Ms.Ruckson and she’s got a long way to go, another six hours to be exact. Dr. Walker wants to speak with you,” she blared out.
“Hello, Dr. Walker. I thought you despised the maternity ward.”
“I do, but I like to lend a helping hand when I’m available. Don’t come in until about seven o’clock this evening. Ms. Ruckson should be more than ready to push by then.”
“Will do,” I responded and ended the call. “Is everything all right?” Xavier asked.
“Yeah, my patient isn’t ready to pop, so I’ll take you up on the bike ride offer.”
Chapter 43
My firm belief is the best way to get over a jerk is to get acquainted with a potential one. However, I was aware that I could still be wrong about my new “south-of-the-border” friend. After careful scrutiny of Xavier’s intent, he turned out to be a decent man. He was an accountant-turned-model, making an honest living modeling for major department stores. As long as his as
s doesn’t ask me for money, we’re all right.
“Here you are, my lady, a cherry, Sprite, and fruit punch Slurpee with a purple straw, as you requested.” Xavier closed the driver’s side of his black Lincoln Navigator.
“Thank you.” I gave him a peck on the lips and lay back in my seat.
“How was your workload this week?”
“It was quite grueling. Two of my days off, I was on call, so I haven’t had much sleep,” I said, yawning.
“How many hours do you work each shift?”
“It depends on when the babies are ready to come into the world. I never work over fourteen hours. For one, I’m too tired. With that being said, I may not make the right decision. My worst fear is to be driving home late after a fourteen-hour shift and get into a car accident because I fell asleep on that wheel, injuring others or myself.”
“I’m going to take your mind off of work. Have you ever been to a shooting range?”
“No.”
“It helps me relieve stress.”
“Let’s go. I like to try new things. But I don’t have a gun.” I stretched out my arms and knocked over my Slurpee onto Xavier.
“Whoa! It’s chilly down there,” he blared out, trying to keep his eyes on the road.
“Sorry about that.” I wiped the crotch of his pants with at least ten napkins, catching glimpses at his bulge.
He raised an eyebrow. “If you like what you see, I could show it to you so you won’t have to peek.”
“Umm . . . as I was saying . . . I don’t have a gun.”
“I figured you didn’t, so I brought an extra one of mine.” He laughed and pointed to the bag in the back seat.
“I didn’t know shooting at a figurine could relieve so much stress. I feel like a new woman.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself even though you fell on your ass the first time you shot.” Xavier chuckled as he turned his key. “Come on in. Welcome to my home.”
I strolled through his condo, which was nicely decorated with the posh crème leather couch and loveseat set, recliner chair, and the countless pictures of his family displayed. Not bad. I could tell he was a neat freak.