by E. S. Moore
I groaned. Now I wasn’t just bound to Baset, but Adrian as well. My life wasn’t my own anymore. They each had control over a part of me, had me in a situation where I was powerless against them.
I started walking again. I was leaving a trail of blood on the snow from the wound on my leg. Tearing out the knife had reopened the gash. It wouldn’t be hard for someone to follow the trail to the house.
But it really wouldn’t matter. If they didn’t follow the blood, they could follow my footprints. There was nothing I could do about it if someone was tailing me.
I sighed and kept plowing ahead, just wanting to be home. Ethan would be there, would try to make things better. I needed to assure him I was staying for good this time, that I wasn’t going to run off without him ever again.
Of course, thinking of Ethan made me think of his demon—another monster I was bound to. Hell, I was in so deep now, I might as well go all in and see if he could help me with the vamps and wolves trying to take control of my life.
It looked like all the lights in the house were on as I broke into the clearing. Without the trees for support, I nearly fell twice on my way to the back door. I could hardly breathe, but I don’t think it had anything to do with my injuries.
I nearly broke down before I made it inside. I collapsed against the glass door and ran my finger down the fingerprint reader, my entire body quivering from both the cold pelting me from the outside and the cold growing from within.
Before I could get the door open, Jeremy opened it from the inside. I fell into him, tears streaming down my face.
He just managed to catch me, using his one good arm to keep me propped up. Someone else closed the door behind us as he led me into the living room.
“She’s home,” he said as he dumped me onto the couch. I think he tried to be careful, but with only one arm, lowering someone down who was in no condition to help had to be awkward.
“Kat.” The voice seemed to come from a long way off. It took me a moment to realize it wasn’t Jeremy or Ethan. “Are you okay?”
I started to nod but shook my head instead. “I don’t know,” I said. My throat hurt and I winced with every word.
Jonathan was sitting on the edge of the couch. He brushed the hair out of my face. “Water,” he said.
Jeremy bolted from the room, and a moment later the faucet started up in the kitchen.
I took a shuddering breath and buried my face in my hands. What was I going to do? All my enemies weren’t trying to kill me anymore, they were trying to take me under their control, to force me to do their bidding. They threatened my friends if I didn’t comply. How was I to deal with that and not blame myself?
Give me personal threats any day. I could handle those. But when you started bringing those I cared about into the equation, things got complicated.
I hated complicated.
Jeremy returned with the water and pressed the glass into my hand. I drank it down, eyes watering as it burned its way down my throat. He took the glass as soon as I was done.
“Where’s Ethan?” I asked, looking around. Jeremy and Jonathan were the only ones in the room.
“Downstairs,” Jonathan said. “Nathan is with him.”
Momentary panic caused me to rise, but Jonathan pushed me gently back down. “They are in front of the fire, keeping warm. We didn’t want to crowd you.” He glanced down. “Are you hurt?” He touched my leg.
I hissed in pain and jerked back. “I’m fine,” I said. “It’ll heal.”
Jonathan nodded and just sat there, letting me collect my thoughts.
It wasn’t an easy task. I kept thinking of Adrian, of the Oath. Then Baset would cross my mind, quickly followed by Levi and Beligral. My life had become a mess in such a short amount of time.
“Ethan received a message,” Jonathan said after a little while.
I looked at him. Concern was written all over his face.
“What message?”
“He didn’t know what to think about it, so he had Jeremy call me. It’s why we are here.”
My mouth went dry again as Jonathan handed me a slip of paper. I took it from him with a trembling hand.
I stared at the flowing writing. Baset didn’t blame me for her man’s death, which was a relief, I supposed. But the fact that the message had reached me here meant she hadn’t been bluffing when she said she knew where I lived.
“Who’s Henri?” Jonathan said as I looked up from the slip of paper.
For a moment, I was confused. He’d met Henri, had heard me strike a deal with Countess Baset. How could he not know?
And then it hit me. He was protecting me. He hadn’t told anyone else what had happened that day. Jeremy didn’t know I’d promised to be Baset’s assassin. Nathan might not even know. Jonathan was giving me a chance to explain myself in front of Jeremy, allowing me to decide what to tell him.
“Someone I once knew,” I said. “It’s no longer a problem.” I bared my teeth in what I hoped to be a deadly smile.
Jonathan touched my hand and squeezed. I flinched back and forced myself off the couch. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone touching me.
“I need to shower,” I said. “Tell Nathan everything’s okay and he can go. I don’t need him here.”
Jonathan nodded.
I limped toward the stairs but stopped halfway there. I glanced back to Jeremy. “I’ll get your car tomorrow,” I said. “I had to leave it behind.” I didn’t want him going out in search of it. I really didn’t want anyone knowing where I’d been. That would lead to questions, questions I didn’t want to answer.
Without waiting for a reply, I headed for my bedroom. I didn’t like lying to him, not after how much the young wolf had tried to help me, but I felt I had no choice. To get him involved with my troubles would only cause him more pain. One lost arm was enough.
I paused just inside the bedroom. A plasma television hung from the wall, facing my bed. The remote sat on my nightstand. There was a big red bow wrapped around the TV and a smaller one on the remote.
I burst into tears, closing the door quickly so no one would hear me. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or miserable. I think I was a little of both.
I stripped and went to the bathroom to run a shower, blinded by my tears. It would be a long time before I would be able to look into Ethan’s face without feeling guilty. He was always so good to me and I’d run from him, left him behind.
I hated myself. I stepped into the shower and let the hot water scour me. The chill from the snow was gone, but the ice in my gut remained. No amount of heat would ever make it thaw. I just hoped it would get better with time.
It didn’t.
I struggled through the next few days, unsure whether or not some disaster would come knocking on my door. I kept expecting to hear that someone I knew had died, or would open the front door to find Adrian or Countess Baset standing there.
I stayed home, afraid that if I left, I’d cause something to happen. I didn’t even have to leave to get Jeremy’s car. Jonathan found it parked just outside Luna Cult territory. None of the cameras caught who had left it there. Even though I knew it had to have been Adrian or one of his wolves, I didn’t tell anyone else. They could keep wondering for all I cared.
Jonathan stopped by once during the week but didn’t stay long. I wasn’t in much of a mood to talk to him, or to anyone else for that matter. Ethan was concerned but did well to keep to himself.
As the weekend neared its end, I found myself nearly bouncing from the walls in agitation. I spent that Sunday night staring at the wall of my bedroom, dreading the following evening.
I didn’t tell anyone where I was going when Monday finally rolled around. I left at first dark, slipping out before Jeremy or Ethan had even roused themselves.
A thaw had melted most of the snow, so I was able to ride my Honda out to the abandoned building where I was to meet Baset’s man. I circled the block twice before deciding it seemed safe enough, though I wouldn’t know u
ntil I actually went inside.
I parked out front, but before I could make it to the door, Henri stepped out from the alleyway.
He didn’t say anything. He simply walked over to me, handed me an envelope, and turned and walked away. There was enough cash there to keep me funded for quite a long time.
I breathed easier as I mounted my Honda and put distance between me and the vampire. There was no name with the money and quite frankly, I was surprised he had even paid me. I was assuming The Left Hand had stolen the last payment and that Baset wouldn’t be willing to pay me again.
Still, the money sat heavy in my coat. It would help make sure there was food in the house and that Mikael would get paid for his information, yet I really didn’t want it. It was blood money. There was no way around it. I’d killed someone for the cash, and even though the vamp deserved it, I still didn’t like it.
On the way home, I drove past the empty landscape where the road to Delai had once been. I idled there and watched the horizon, hoping to catch some glimpse of a fire, of a light that would let me know that someone was there.
After a while I gave up. I had a feeling that no matter how many times I drove by, the road would never be there again. Delai was lost to me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
The rest of the ride home was filled with bitterness. I had half a mind to turn around and storm Adrian’s mansion again, just to see what would happen. Just because the Oath prevented me from hurting the big wolf himself, it didn’t stop me from hurting his underlings.
But then I would put my friends at risk. I wasn’t sure how quickly Adrian would act on his promise to retaliate, though I was pretty sure the bastard would eventually get around to it. He had me right where he wanted me.
At least for now. I would find a way out from under his thumb eventually. The same went for Countess Baset. It would just take time.
While there was little I could do about Baset, Adrian, Levi, or even Count Mephisto, if he decided to inject himself into my life as well, there was one thing I’d been putting off ever since I’d returned.
Before heading home, I made a stop at a flower shop that stayed open for those of us who walked the night. I carried my purchase in through the garage and found Ethan and Jeremy sitting in the living room talking.
They glanced up at me as I entered and a flood of warmth passed over me. While I might not have wanted Jeremy to stay at first, I’d come to like the kid. He could have the spare bedroom for as long as he wanted it. I kind of hoped he decided to stay permanently. Ethan could use the company.
I took a deep breath. Out of all the things I’d tried to do over the last few weeks, this was going to be the hardest.
“Where is he?” I asked.
It only took a moment for Ethan to understand what I was talking about. He grew somber as he stood.
I followed him out the back door. He paused just outside, looked worriedly at the wide-open world, before finally walking through the backyard. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure I was following and gave me a shaky smile.
He might be terrified of the outdoors, but in important matters, he always found a way to suppress his fear. It was a strength I envied.
Jeremy followed us out. He stayed a few feet back, head down, as if he knew what was going on. Hell, he might. Who knew how much he knew of what had happened all those months ago.
We reached the edge of the woods and went in only a few feet before Ethan stopped beneath a huge pine. A stone rested on the ground a few feet away. There were no words on it, no indication that it was anything more than a large stone. I wouldn’t even have noticed it if Ethan hadn’t pointed it out. It looked natural there, like it had always been in that very spot.
I didn’t need him to tell me that this was the place. I walked alone over to the stone and knelt to the frozen ground. My throat constricted and I almost got up, unable to do what I so desperately needed to do.
Instead, I laid in front of the stone the single red rose I’d purchased. The flower would wilt from the cold, but that was okay. Everything died eventually. It was perfect in its own way.
I pressed my hand against the stone. It was icy to the touch. The ground in front of it was still bare of grass. It hadn’t had time to grow before the cold had set in.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I promise to do better from now on.”
The wind rustled the trees above my head. It blew across my face, swept the tears away before they could freeze on my cheeks. The air breathed new life in me. It felt good on my skin. I didn’t care how cold it was. I was already as cold inside as I was ever going to get.
Fresh snow started to fall. The brief respite from winter had come and gone.
I bent and kissed the stone before standing. My coat billowed out behind me as a strong gust of wind passed through the trees.
Without another word, I turned and walked back to the house, leaving Thomas’s grave to be covered by the fresh falling snow.
KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by
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Copyright © 2013 by Eric S. Moore
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ISBN: 978-0-7582-8597-3