by DC Renee
*****
Well, that was awkward, Kat thought to herself as Mason rushed out the door. She had woken just a minute before and the memories from last night flooded her mind. It was bliss. She couldn’t help but feel satisfied. Her body was sated, her feelings were intact, and she felt alive again. Mason cared! He truly cared! She was elated by both this knowledge and the fact that that meant it was back to “game on.”
She should have felt dirty at that thought; she should have felt like her body had just been used for a higher purpose, but as she looked at Mason’s back while he put on his pants, she couldn’t. He had treated her body like it was a temple. She had loved Seth, but he had never made her feel the way Mason had made her feel with one encounter.
But then Mason couldn’t get away from her fast enough. Her heart dropped. She had no idea what the heck happened between last night and this morning that had him pulling away again.
She didn’t know, but she was going to find out.
*****
The next few days were completely confusing and frustrating for Kat. She tried everything she could to figure out what the heck was wrong with Mason, who had once again become distant. She also tried everything she could think of to get him to notice her, to care about her, to take her again. She needed him to want her, desire her, and need her. He had to be consumed by her so that he would fall in love, and she could then ask him to let her go and if he really loved her, he would. If he could barely look at her, though, then it was like taking one step forward and about a hundred steps back. He had been so kind and so gentle with her. She had felt his passion and his desire when they had been together. The only thing that kept her from giving up hope was the fact that whenever she caught him looking at her, he looked guilty. Sometimes even lost, though he had desire in his eyes a few times. What the hell was he guilty of? She couldn’t figure it out, but the fact that she caught him glancing at her was proof enough that she shouldn’t give up.
Finally, after a few days, she couldn’t take it. Mason was sitting in the living room, reading a newspaper when Kat marched over to him, dishrag still in hand from cleaning up the kitchen. She flung it at the newspaper and Mason looked up with both curiosity and amusement.
“I can’t take it anymore!” she whined.
“Not following,” Mason answered, one of the few times he had spoken to her in the past few days.
“Mase,” she continued with the newfound nickname she had used when they had been intimate. “You are hot, you are cold, you push me away, you reel me in, you can’t look at me, you can’t let go. Which is it? We had something. Something special has been happening between us for a while already. I’m not sure what the hell you were doing, but you pushed me away. I was all but ready to give up on you, on us, on whatever the hell was happening between us, but then, the other night, you and me. That was real, I felt it. I know you did too. Unless it was just you trying to placate me so that I wouldn’t put up another fuss. If that’s the case, then please, at least have the decency to tell me. I deserve that much.”
Mason was quiet for a moment, seeming to process what Kat had just said. Finally, he spoke. “Kat, being with you was wonderful and it was in no way me using you. But this, us, this situation is fucked up. For all intents and purposes, I am, as you’ve called me several times, your captor. We can’t… we shouldn’t be together like that. And it was all my fault. I took advantage of you. Being with you consumed every fiber of me, but I should have pulled away. It was wrong of me to have put you in that position.”
“Stop,” Kat called out and even put up her hand as if to tell him to say no more. She walked closer to him and although Mason was sitting down, he sat up straighter, leaning toward her as she stood right in front of him.
Kat didn’t even realize she had stepped closer to him until she was staring into his deep green eyes. There was a pull, an invisible cord that seemed to draw her to him. The way he was craning his neck back, she knew he felt it too. She had gotten her answer. He felt like he had wronged her. He had wronged her on several occasions, first by kidnapping her, then by his harsh words and actions and by pushing her away, but not by making love. No, that hadn’t been wrong. And more importantly, it had suited her greater purpose. She had wanted it.
She cupped his cheek. “Nothing happened that I didn’t want to happen.” She bent down so that she was at his level. She took his hand with her free hand and placed it over her heart. “You feel my heart racing? That’s for you. I wanted this, I wanted you. I still do,” she whispered as they both seemed to move so that there was only a breath between their lips. “Mason,” she murmured his name softly like a plea and that was all it took before his lips found hers. And as passion once again consumed Kat, she heard that tiny inner voice telling her she won the battle, and it was only a matter of time before she won the war.
Chapter 32
The next month was pretty weird for Kat. She was sleeping with Mason. She was fucking sleeping with Mason! She wasn’t sure what she had expected to happen, but this hadn’t been it. She had hoped that after a couple of days, he would fall madly and passionately in love with her and that would be the end of it. But that hadn’t happened. Things weren’t even all that different; she still cleaned and cooked and was the all-around maid. But at the same time, things had changed. Now, more often than not, she slept in Mason’s bed where he spent every night exploring every inch of her body. They had even christened places around the house quite a few times. Kat would be lying if she said she wasn’t enjoying it. When they were together, he treated her as an equal, as a lover. She felt cherished, loved even. She didn’t feel dirty about using her body. In fact, she didn’t really feel like she was using herself at all.
The only other thing that had changed was his attitude. Gone was the moody, brooding Mason, and in its place was the nice, friendly one pretty much all the time. But that was about it. When they weren’t sleeping together, they still played the prisoner and captive role. Well, that wasn’t entirely true; she cared for Mason and every day that passed, her frustration at the lack of change in their routine was starting to get to her. It also didn’t help that she was doubting herself. She really thought that he should have shown some kind of extra affection toward her by now. He should have taken away some chores or told her that she didn’t have to work if she didn’t want to. They were lovers after all. Shouldn’t that mean something?
And just when she was at her breaking point, things did start changing. After that initial month, he came home one day with a bunch of shopping bags. He handed them to her as she looked at him with a puzzled expression.
“I got some help from the sales lady, but I thought you’d be more comfortable in these clothes than the things I’ve been having you wear all this time.” She didn’t have to even look in the bags to be blown away. Such a simple gesture, but it was enough. He was taking down one of his walls.
She smiled and tore into the bags. There were jeans and t-shirts, shorts, blouses, dresses, and even some shoes. Of course, it wasn’t all necessarily what she would have picked for herself, but that wasn’t the point. He had cared enough to want to make her feel comfortable; he had cared enough to take away the condition of what clothing she was required to wear; he had cared enough to take the time and put in the effort to try to find things she would like to wear.
She set it all down and then took a running start and leaped into his arms. She planted a bruising kiss on his lips as she said, “Thank you,” against his mouth.
At first he was stunned, his body tight, but then his hands came around and cupped her ass and she felt him smile against her lips and kiss her back. “You’re welcome,” he responded between kisses.
“I love it all!” She opened her mouth again, almost to say, “I love you,” but she clamped her mouth shut. She didn’t love him! Yes, she cared, damn did she care, but love? No! He had showed her kindness, real kindness when she didn’t expect it and that surely was the reason those blasted words almos
t escaping her mouth.
“I’m glad. You never have to wear this silly thing again,” he said, meaning the stupid French maid outfit. “Unless of course, you wanted to, like in the bedroom or something, then who am I to stop you?” He smiled and she laughed.
That was the start of changes to come. For the next month, he took away small restrictions. They were all little things, but that was enough for Kat. She could deal with small steps. She could deal with a slow process, as long as it was happening. And it was. They started eating their meals together; they sat together reading; they watched movies and television together; she went outside to the backyard whenever she wanted. She still had to be led out, but if she asked, he took her with no hesitations. They were making progress. It was only a matter of time before he would love her, she told herself. He would love her, confess it to her, and she’d tell him he had to let her go. That was what all this was about, after all, being able to escape this situation. She didn’t understand the crappy feeling she got in the pit of her stomach every time she thought about her end goal. Why did her heart squeeze just a bit when she thought about finally getting out of this prison she had called home for so long? It was because she was just used to this place by now, used to this routine, and used to Mason, Benny, and even Chain and John. She was used to cooking and cleaning, she was used to cuddling up to Mason as his lips trailed light kisses along her back when he thought she was sleeping, his warm breath caressing her body. Damn stupid Stockholm syndrome was rearing its ugly head again. She just wanted to enjoy whatever life she had for now until she could earn her freedom. Was that really so bad? So wrong? Mason was complicated and misunderstood, but she saw through that. It was natural that she cared about him. It couldn’t be more. She wouldn’t let it.
Chapter 33
Mason had hated his birthday for a long time now. He hated it when he was on trial, he hated it while he was in prison, and he sure hated it ever since he had been released. He used to love it; he’d throw a big party, he’d be surrounded by friends, colleagues, and throngs of beautiful women throwing themselves at him. It was wonderful. Now, he had vile memories that filled his birthday that consisted of his “special” birthday present while he was locked up. Now, he just remembered that he was getting a year older each time with nothing really going for him. He was a has-been, and his true friends were all involved in some kind of sketchy activity. He only had a handful from his old life, and he was now a kidnapper who was sleeping with the willing captive. The sad part was that he loved every minute he got to spend with Kat. He loved the way she looked at him like she could devour him; he loved the way she glided across the room like she was a ballerina in another life; he loved the way she smelled; and he loved the way she felt wrapped up in him. He took a job on his birthday, needing the distraction, and by the time he made it home, he was so beat that he had actually forgotten.
The minute he opened the door to his home he was greeted by a siren, a very naked siren. She was a vision, and he was stunned for a second. All the air in his lungs was momentary suspended. Maybe he liked his birthday after all. Maybe this one wouldn’t be so awful.
“Happy Birthday, Mason,” Kat cooed, snapping him back to attention. She stood just a few feet in front of him with a giant red bow around her neck and cake in her hands.
“Unfortunately, the gift shop around here didn’t have a huge selection, so I didn’t really have a lot to work with,” she joked.
“Oh I don’t know, looks like you figured it out all right,” he responded as he dropped his stuff on the floor and closed the distance between them. “How’d you know it was my birthday?”
“Benny.” He nodded. He figured it was him, but was just confirming. “I made dinner, but I had a feeling it might not be eaten right away, so I put it away to warm up later if we work up an appetite,” she told him.
“Good idea,” he mumbled as his lips inched closer to her.
“Well, like I said, the gift shop here sucks, so I made a cake, which you can have before…after…or during me, which, as I’m sure you can tell, is the real present. I’m all yours, Mase.”
He kissed her then, not really caring that he almost smashed the cake between them. He was on fire, and she did this to him. He wanted to consume her, take her, and bury himself in her. He wanted to kiss every inch of her, trail his fingers along her body, and claim her as his.
“I take it you like your gift?” she asked between kisses.
“Very,” he growled. “Oh, and about the cake, definitely during,” he smirked as he took her hand and led her to the bedroom.
*****
They spent the next hour exploring each other, making love, and eating the cake off of each other. It may have been even longer, but Kat had lost track of time. Every time she was with Mason, she felt closer and closer. But something about tonight had been extra special. She felt like he was giving her all he had to offer and more. He told her multiple times how much he appreciated the effort she put in to making his birthday special. He told her how much he cared for her. He even told her how happy he was with her around. He had never told her such things before, even though his actions had proven that over and over. This was finally it. She could feel it, if he didn’t love her yet, it was just around the corner. And then she was out!
She was exhausted, her body sated, but knew she should clean up and make sure she had put everything away in the kitchen – wouldn’t want to burn the place down. She looked over at Mason, sleeping peacefully next to her. She kissed his temple before she slipped out of bed and walked to the kitchen.
She made sure everything was off; she put the rest of the food in the fridge and cleaned up the last of the mess she made from earlier. She walked over to the door to grab Mason’s jacket and bag from the floor where he had dropped them, but as she made it to the door, she stopped short and gasped. The door was ajar, just slightly, barely noticeable, but it was clearly open. Mason must have not closed it all the way when he was distracted by her.
This was her chance, this was her ticket out. All she had to do was slip out, and voila, all her problems were solved. She just had to take few more steps, turn the knob, step through the door, and walk away for good. She told herself this over and over and yet her feet weren’t moving. She was in shock. That had to be it. She was in shock, because her chance to escape was finally here. Any moment now, her body would wake up and respond, and she would get out. Any moment. But she never moved. She looked at the door, the open door, her savior, the thing she had been wanting for months and months, and she couldn’t walk to it. She couldn’t walk to it because Mason was in the other room, caring for her, wanting her, needing her, and waiting for her. And Goddamn it, but she wanted him too! Fuck! When the hell did this happen? She couldn’t pinpoint the time when she wanted to be with Mason as more than just seduction and pleasure, when helping him heal was more important than her escape. Damn! She knew it! Her damn heart knew it all along, but her mind refused to listen. She started caring about him, truly caring about him, the day he had the nightmare and opened up to her. She understood him in a way she hadn’t wanted to before.
Yes, he was her kidnapper, but she understood why he had done it. She didn’t like it, not one bit, but she got it. And she wanted to help him. She wanted to help him find the real person behind all this. She wanted to stay with him so she could be there for him. Hell, who was she kidding? She wanted to stay with him for herself. Yes, she wanted her freedom, but what good was that for her and Mason if she stole it. He needed to give it to her freely, because he cared about her the way she cared about him.
If she walked out that door, she would never know. And it killed her to think he might never love her enough, but she loved him enough. Damn it! She loved him! She loved his eyes and how they truly were the window to his soul, she loved his body, damn, and who wouldn’t love his body. She loved the way he joked with her; she loved the way he talked back and made snide comments when he was upset; she loved the way he’d look at he
r like she was everything he could possibly ever need and more; she loved the way he held her, with gentle care, but a passionate fire raging underneath. She loved him. Plain and simple, somewhere along the lines, her stupid plan backfired and she fell for him. And because of that, she couldn’t walk out that door. She took the few steps needed to reach the door and closed it with a sigh. That could have been her only chance at freedom, but she would take the odds. She needed Mason more than she needed herself. She wanted him, every wonderful and horrible part of him. Even if he didn’t set her free, she would still choose him. She leaned against the door, processing her thoughts for a few more minutes and then finally grabbed his things and made her way back to the room. Mason was still fast asleep. She traced her fingertips along his jaw before setting a kiss at the edge of his mouth.
“I love you,” she whispered, happy he couldn’t hear her and turned to snuggle into his body before falling asleep.
*****
Mason woke up when Kat kissed his temple, but was still too groggy to ask her what she was up to when she got out of bed. After hearing the clattering in the kitchen, he figured it out. That woman wouldn’t let anything go. She could just clean up in the morning, but that was her. And then time passed and the noise stopped and Kat still hadn’t come back to bed. He wondered what was taking her so long. He missed the feel of her body pressed into his; he missed how safe she made him feel; heck, he missed her and it had only been a few minutes. Damn! He was a goner!
He got up and made his way to the bedroom door where he stopped short at the sight in front of him. Damn it! The fucking door was open and Kat was staring at it like a bear when they see honey. He couldn’t remember how the hell he had left it open. Oh yeah, he may have been distracted by the beauty who was now staring at the damn door. He wasn’t sure what he should do. He could easily have called out to her, distracted her, and told her not to leave. He could have run and shut it before she even knew what was happening. But he was rooted to his spot. He needed to see what she would do; he needed to know if she would walk out that door. He knew why he needed to know that answer to that. Because this was a test, a test he hadn’t even meant to set up, but it happened, so he was rolling with it. If she walked out, everything about them was a lie. Surely she wasn’t just a normal human being who liked being a prisoner. But what did it mean if she stayed. What did that say about her? What did that say about them? And more importantly, what did it say about him?