by DC Renee
“Why? What’s going on?”
“She’s burying her sister in two days. Don’t tell her I told you if you talk to her between now and then, but I’m letting you know so you can be there.”
“Her sister?” Benny asked, still shocked.
“Yeah, her sister.”
“A twin?”
“Yep.”
“Her name’s Kat, isn’t it?”
“You got it.”
“Holy fucking shit!” Benny cursed loudly.
“My thoughts exactly. Now, I should go before she wakes up and realizes I’m giving you the heads up.” And then he gave Benny the address and all the details.
“Obviously it’s up to you, but she’s having a rough time of it. So I thought you should know if you wanted to be there.”
“We’ll be there,” Benny stated.
“Good, just don’t let her know.”
“I won’t. And Trent, thanks.”
“Welcome,” he said before hanging up.
Benny simply stared at Mason after the call. He didn’t have to say anything before Mason nodded.
“You heard all that?” Benny asked.
“You’re phone is very loud,” Mason answered.
“So you feel like a dumb shit?”
“Yep, you?”
“Oh yeah. We going?”
“You know it. Tell John and Chain too. She’s getting as much support as we can offer. That’s the least I can do,” Mason added before he fell back onto the couch and let out a guttural scream. “Fuck!” he yelled. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! How could this have happened? How the hell could I have missed all the signs and fucked up so badly! She tried to tell me it wasn’t her. But I didn’t listen. I didn’t fucking listen. And even when things didn’t make sense, when they didn’t add up, I didn’t listen. I pushed my doubts aside because I was so right. I had to be right. What the fuck am I going to do now? How can I face her? How could she face me? Knowing what I did to her? How could she sit there and tell me she loved me when all along I was a monster. I kidnapped an innocent woman and tortured her.”
“You didn’t torture her, Mason. And clearly, she forgave you, so maybe it’s time you forgave yourself.”
“How can I?”
“Because, despite it all, she loves you.”
“I need to be alone. I just need some time to process everything.”
Benny nodded. “If I don’t hear from you tomorrow, I’ll pick you up the day after. But take my advice and don’t wallow in self-pity, Kat wouldn’t want you to.”
Mason nodded, knowing Benny was right. But it didn’t mean it would make him feel better. He got up, grabbed a bottle of whiskey, and headed to his room to drown out his thoughts. How could Kat love him after what he had done? He didn’t know. But, just before he passed out, he lingered on one thought – that he never would have met her if it wasn’t for all of this. So, maybe, just maybe, she felt the same.
Chapter 42
Kat kept herself busy preparing for her sister’s funeral. It kept her mind off of her own failures. When she would stop to think, she could process the fact that Mason would never be free now. She didn’t know what the hell she was going to do now. She didn’t dwell on this for too long because she had a sister she had to bury.
Since Kat only knew of a few people that would attend, they did a simple graveside service. She stood staring at the grave that would now house her sister and all her dashed hopes. She felt a pang of anger and frustration, but her sadness quickly covered that up. To her right stood Trent, holding her hand. On the other side of Trent, his brother Ty had come for moral support. After all, they had gotten to be pretty good friends since she was practically attached to Trent’s hip now. And to her left, Diane, a friend of Trent’s whom she was becoming close with came to hold her hand as well. She also saw the young boy from the apartment standing far off in the distance and Kat wondered, not for the first time, who he was to Katherine. The irony that at her own sister’s funeral, the only people there were those that were supporting her wasn’t lost on her. Her sister had said she was privileged and all her life she never thought that way, until now. She was supported by friends she had only known for a short while. It was a good feeling, knowing people cared. And she wondered if Katherine had ever had people to support her. Maybe things would have turned out differently for everyone involved.
But then, would she ever have met Mason? And there it was, the reminder of her own disappointment.
Soon, the short service was over. Ty and Diane left, each going back to work, but she couldn’t move. She was rooted in place, staring at the ground in front of her as if willing Katherine to rise from death. She was trying to figure out how everything could have gone to hell. All her planning, all her dreams were shot to shit. She wanted to feel sorry for her sister, but the selfish part of her felt sorry for herself. And she stayed, having a conversation in her head with her departed sister, telling her off.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned, assuming Trent was telling her it was time to go, but she gasped in surprise. She was face to face with Mason and behind him were Benny, John and Chain.
“Oh my God, what are you guys doing here?” she asked.
“We came to support you. It was a nice funeral,” Mason answered.
“Thank you, but you didn’t have to come here,” she said, speaking to all of them.
“Yes, we did,” Mason stated and the others nodded.
“How did you know? Trent,” she answered her own question, looking at her friend. He just shrugged. “So you know?” she asked Mason.
“Yes,” he nodded, but looked solemn as he did so, even lowering his head a bit.
“And you still came?”
“Of course, I, we came for you. Trent told us how difficult it’s been for you, and we needed to be here for you. She was your family after all.”
“How can you stand to be here?”
“I don’t understand.”
“How can you be here, supporting her, standing so calmly? She ruined your life and now she’s gone and took her fucking secrets with her,” Kat raged.
“I’m supporting you.”
“How could you? How can you stand here and look at me? I have her face! I look just like the fucking monster that did this to you. And then she took the coward’s way out and overdosed. And for what? What did you ever do to her that deserved such hatred? Such revenge? You were right to hate me.”
“I don’t hate you, Kat.”
“I’m a reminder of everything she did to you. When you look at me, you have to see her. You see the evil that she was. The person that falsely accused you of rape, sent you to prison without hesitation, and then refused to come clean.”
“Kat, you’re not her.” Mason’s voice was soothing. He pulled Kat to him.
As soon as he touched her, she lost it. The tears came, and she was sobbing into his shirt, fisting his collar to keep from falling because she felt her entire body turning to jelly. Mason smoothed her hair and let her cry, but after a few minutes, he whispered, “Shhh, it’s all going to be all right.” And that snapped her out of it.
She pushed him away and screamed while the sobbing still wracked her body, “Don’t you see? It’s not all right. It will never be all right again. She took it all with her when she went to her grave. And now you’ll never be free.”
“I’m free with you,” Mason said as he tried to reach for her.
“Stop, just stop. You say I’m not her, but look at me. Look at me. I am her. When I look in the mirror, I see her. God! How can you stand to look at me? How can you forgive me?”
“Forgive you? Kat, it’s you who needs to forgive me. You may look like her, but you’re not her. And I took you because of that. I kept you as my slave, my prisoner for months, because of that. I am the one in need of forgiveness, but I intend on showing you how sorry I am every day of my life if you’ll let me.”
“There is nothing to forgive, Mason. If you hadn’t kidnapped me, I w
ould have never met you, and I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.”
“If you can forgive me for something I actually did to you, why do you think I even need to forgive you for something you didn’t do to me?”
“But that’s the thing. I know why you did it. I get it. Heck, I even condone it. And I’m even incredibly happy it was me. I look at you and I see the man I fell in love with, who was so passionate about something that he figured out the steps to make his plans come to fruition. And let’s face it, you weren’t a monster. You never treated me poorly. But, for you, you look at my face and see her. There is nothing that can change that.”
“Kat, you’re wrong.”
“No! No, I’m not wrong. You say that now, but what about in a few months? A few years? No, please…I’m so grateful to you, to all of you for coming here and being here for me when I needed friends. But right now, I need to go. I need to figure things out for myself.”
“Kat, please, listen to me. Don’t run. I love you.”
“I know, and that’s why I have to go,” she said as she literally started to run.
She saw Mason standing there stunned, watching her. She heard Trent tell him to give her some time to adjust, and he’d talk to her. She even heard Benny tell him this was her way of grieving and when she came to terms with it all, she’d come back. But they were wrong. This wasn’t her grieving, this was her facing the facts.
Chapter 43
Kat didn’t know how her life had become this giant mess. She had literally run away from Mason, from the people she cared about because she couldn’t face her own demons. Who did things like that? She did. Because she was a coward and because she couldn’t face Mason knowing she carried the face of the person who had hurt him beyond repair. She thought once he was free of all this, things would be okay, but now there was no way. And on top of all that, she really did lose the only family she had known before they could even be a family. She felt bad about that because she both hated and missed her sister. How that was possible, she didn’t know. She wondered if maybe it was the grief.
She had locked herself in her apartment. Trent, Benny, and even Mason blew up her phone, but she turned it off. Trent banged on her door every hour asking if she was all right. Finally, she opened it so he would know she was still alive but asked him to give her some time alone. He nodded, hugged her, told her he loved her, and was there for her. He also threatened to cause bodily harm if she ever worried him like that again. It made her laugh a bit, and she was grateful to him. But she really did need to be alone and after he left, she grabbed a bottle of wine and crawled into bed, hoping to drown her sorrows away.
Kat woke up to someone knocking on her door. She looked around and it was bright outside. She must have slept through the night, or maybe it was courtesy of the now empty bottle of wine that was on her nightstand. Damn! She drank the entire bottle by herself? She didn’t even remember doing that. Clearly her head did since it felt like there was a hammer in there pounding away, reminding her just how wonderful alcohol was the next day.
She heard the knocking again. Damn Trent! Couldn’t he let her wallow in peace? She told him she’d call him and let him know she was okay. But no…he had to go banging on the door, which only encouraged the hammer in her head.
“I’m coming, Trent, and I’m still alive!” she yelled as she made her way to the door. She flung it open, but she was surprised. Instead of Trent, it was the teenage boy from Katherine’s apartment.
“Uh, hi, can I help you?” she asked, unsure of what exactly to say or do.
“Hello, ma’am. My name’s Edward, but you can call me Eddie. My mother, you probably saw her the other day, was a friend of your sister’s.”
“That was your mom,” Kat mused. It was more of a statement than a question, but he nodded in response.
“Yes. I knew Kat for a while.” Kat flinched at the sound of her own name, even though she knew he was referring to her sister. That just drove her point that they were one and the same home. “I heard you guys when you came over, you know,” he said and his voice caught.
“I’m sorry you had to hear us.”
“She isn’t, I mean, she wasn’t so bad, not always, at least. My mom too. They aren’t bad people, but the drugs, they take over and make you different.”
“You’re a very smart young man. How old are you?”
“Fifteen, ma’am.”
“Kat…your sister, I didn’t expect her to die, at least not yet. She hasn’t, er, hadn’t used those kinds of drugs in a while, but I guess it’s hard for people to change sometimes.” She heard him choke up again.
“I’m sorry, Eddie. I can only imagine how hard this has been on you. Please, where are my manners? Come in. I’ll make us some coffee. God knows I need it,” she muttered the last sentence.
He nodded and walked in and sat down at her dining table.
“So, Eddie, what can I do for you?”
“Kat gave me something, told me to cherish it with my life and give it to you if and when she died. I wanted to give it to you at the funeral yesterday, but you seemed to be having a rough time, so I left.”
Well, that got her attention.
“What? Eddie, you sure she said to give me something?”
“Yes, ma’am. Here you go,” he said as he produced an envelope from underneath his sweatshirt. “I didn’t read it,” he said as if she had accused him, but Kat hadn’t said a word. She didn’t think she could even think, let alone speak. She couldn’t think of a reason for why on earth Katherine had written her a letter.
She hesitated. She didn’t know if she could stand any more negativity right now, but curiosity was winning.
“I can go if you’d like,” Eddie offered when Kat still hadn’t spoken.
“No, that’s all right. Do you know what’s in that letter?”
“Not everything, ma’am, but I know some of it. I think maybe you’d like me to stick around until after you’ve read it. I can go into another room and leave you alone. Or I can just stay here and be quiet. I’m really good at being invisible.”
Kat’s heart broke at his words. Damn, he seemed like such a good kid. Such a shame that he was living his life among junkies. And she just bet he really did know a thing or two about being invisible.
“No, no, you should stay right here. I can make us some breakfast before I read the letter.”
“If it’s not too much trouble,” he said sheepishly.
She made him breakfast and while he ate, she made her way to the couch. Her fingers trembled, but she couldn’t wait any longer, she needed to know. After a few minutes, she drew in a deep breath and opened the envelope.
Dear Sister,
Sorry, it seemed kind of weird saying “Dear Kat,” seeing as that’s my name and all too. Writing a letter to yourself was just too damn odd.
If you are reading this, then you know I’m dead. That sounds so cliché, but what else can I really say, huh? It also means Eddie got this to you. He’s a good kid. He’s had a life similar to the one I had, but he never went the drug route. Sometimes, I wish I had the strength to stay away like he has. But what’s done is done.
You are probably wondering why I wrote this letter. I guess you can call this one of my “clear moments.” I didn’t have a great life, but it seems you didn’t either. I started taking drugs when our mom forced me to, but it quickly became something I wanted to do. They gave me a reprieve from my life. Slowly, it became something I needed. I met Samantha, Eddie’s mom, when I was younger and we bonded over our love of drugs and partying, but she had Eddie and he was so innocent. He reminded me of myself, of who I wished I was, at least. You’ll be surprised to know that because of him, I actually tried to get clean and sober a few times, but when the drugs take a hold of you, you’re in for life, at least I was.
One of the low points in my life was around the time I accused Mason of rape. I relied on drugs so heavily then that I couldn’t see reason. I needed them. And he had denied me ac
cess, so I sought revenge. Looking back, I honestly don’t know how he was even convicted. Hell, I guess I’m a great actress. Doesn’t hurt that I made it look like I was raped and I managed to snag a loose hair of his from his jacket when I was in his office. Yeah, even doped up, I was pretty smart.
I’d like to say I’m a nice person deep down and I felt bad about him later on in life, but honestly, I forgot about that time when I cleaned up a bit. I never really thought about my actions, at least how they affected other people, until you came barging into my room.
Yeah, I was shocked to see you, but I was also jealous. I’ve been jealous of you my whole life. I imagined you living the good life, adopted by a loving family, while our mom hated me and used me for her own benefit. The sad part of it all was that all I really wanted from her was love, or affection, or something else just as corny and cliché. All I ever got from her was indifference. So yeah, I hated you because I was sure you had lived a charmed life and had someone that loved you.
When you said you hadn’t, I didn’t believe you. And even so, as shitty as your life was, mine was worse. So I went to Mason. I’m sure you already know this. How did I find him? Easy. He’s fucking listed! Moron. Oh, and how did I find you? How did I know where to send Eddie? I followed you. That’s also how I figured out how to act and dress like you, and that’s how I knew Mason was alone. I wanted money so I could get out of this shitty place, so I could help myself, Samantha, and Eddie. I also needed it so I could get high as shit and forget this entire mess you made me remember. And I wanted to hurt you because it seemed like you really did find love when I never had it.
It’s thanks to Mason that you are getting this letter. Even being high when I saw him and trying to pump him for cash, he loved you. He fucking loved you. He loved you so much that he refused to see me for who I was because he only wanted to see you. And then I broke his heart. It didn’t really hit me at the time, but when I came home, Eddie asked me what was wrong. And there it was, someone that actually cared for me, and I was too high all my life to even realize it. I was fucking pissing my life away, thinking I was alone in this world and this sweet kid actually cared if I was all right.