by Tang Xianzu
“A vast lake or swamp”,
There was only a stretch of land, which is
“A dried pond with an arid rock”.
Although the pebbled path could
“Clutch the scholar-trees”,
How could the barren land
“Grow corns and millets”?
Who would marry me for
“Unproductive echoes in the empty valley”?
I had to stay by mother’s side and
“Do my filial duties”.
However, there were those
“Aunts and uncles”,
Who babbled about
“Getting married and bearing children”.
My mother said that although I would
“Remain chaste all my life”,
I looked like
“The fairest of the fairest”.
Since all the other women could live
“A harmonious family life”,
Why shouldn’t I have
“A husband to accompany me”?
So she hired a matchmaker with a glib tongue to
“Pass on words of honour”
And had me engaged to a licentious man with a big nose, whose
“Lust was insatiable”.
All was fixed very soon. The bridegroom picked a day of good omen with
“The sun and the moon in the best phase”
And checked the horoscope to see to it that
“The stars were aligned in good order”.
He sent me betrothal money of
“Pure gold from River Li”
And I stepped on the bridal sedan chair as
“Genuine jade from Mount Kungang”.
I covered my face with
“A round silk fan”
And went in a procession with
“Candles burning bright”.
The bridegroom in his holiday best
“Sat on my right in a high hat”
And I the bride was also well dressed
“With an elegant air”.
We invited some
“Kith and kin”
To greet us on the way
“With goblets and wine”.
I was led
“Up the stairs and into the hall”,
With bridesmaids
“Waiting on me in the nuptial chamber”.
We drank our wedding drink amidst
“Songs and music in the feast”
And scattered coins and candies to the children from the nuptial bed amidst
“Chants and hymns in praise of the lamb”.
Inch by inch the guests
“Examined my figure and countenance”;
Item by item the guests
“Assessed my precious dowry”.
In the deep of night, the bridegroom came forward and sat close to me, saying that we were like
“Phoenixes echoing in the bamboo grooves”
And that we would soon
“Graze like snow-white colts”.
With a quilt
“Covering our body and hair”,
We removed
“Our last shreds of clothing”.
Oh heavens, on seeing his
“Beastly male organ”,
I went through a moment of
“Fright and fear”.
When he saw how nervous I was, he said that I had
“Grown in years”
And that he would take his time to
“Tune in with me”.
I made no reply but smiled to myself, thinking that however hard he was
“Busy with his hands and feet”,
He’d better
“Refrain from overconfidence in his strength”.
When night grew deeper, he was still
“Pushing and thrusting”,
But how could he break through
“The frozen land”?
For a moment he was confused and wondered what the matter was. He asked for a lamp and leaned his head, trying to
“Find his way to the right spot”,
And fixed his eyes on
“The ivory bed”.
I said nothing but grinned to myself, thinking that my private parts were for him to
“Look and see”,
But not for him to
“Taste and satiate his desire”.
After he tried in vain several more times, he was so annoyed that he mumbled about
“Practice makes perfect”,
And he was tired out before he made a hole in
“The chaos of heaven and earth”.
All through the night, he
“Grabbed every minute”;
And, to speak of what he did, it would put to shame
“The walls that had ears”.
On several occasions I would like to hang myself or drown myself so as to
“Escape from his blame”,
And if I were to drill a hole or burn a hole, how could I violate the commandment
“Thou shalt not hurt yourself”?
I would even rather run away and
“Live a solitary life”,
But how could I make him
“Feel satisfied”?
Yes, there was a way out. In the end he had to take
“The back position”
While I had to comply with him by
“Storing what he offered”.
Alas, when we were face to face, I acted as if I
“Had striven to keep chaste”,
But when I turned round, I acted as a
“Male partner”.
Although for the moment I
“Satisfied his desire”,
I knew the meaning of
“Nuptial love”.
If he kept me as his wife, he would
“Have no sons and heirs”
And if he divorced me, he would be denounced as
“Betraying his former wife”.
So I tried to persuade him to wed a concubine to
“Weave and spin”
Lest he should feel annoyed to be
“A husband in name only”.
I would like to
“Resign from my post as a genuine wife”
If only he did not
“Forget his first lady”.
Later he did get a concubine. Not long afterwards his concubine
“Won greater favour and challenged my authority”,
And deprived me of my position as
“The rooster of the house”.
Bearing no grudge against her, I
“Engaged myself in introspection”
And decided to leave the family and become a nun,
“Living in seclusion”.
My nunnery had never been
“A magnificent edifice”,
And it was me that
“Turned chaos into order”.
I had a picture painted of the Taoist immortal king
“Swinging his mighty sword”
And started to make pills of immortality
“Under the starry sky”.
I offered to the immortals
“Fruits and cakes”,
And ate vegetables
“With mustard and ginger seasonings”.
I no longer cared about the worldly affairs
“With its ups and downs”,
Having escaped from the human bondage,
“Scot-free”.
Since I converted to Taoism several years ago, the fluid from my husband
“Has been washed away”
And my lust as a wife has dropped
“From the boiling point to the freezing point”.
It is a pity that as the head of the nunnery I,
“Living all alone”,
Have to
“Take pains to give consultations”.
Those who come for the service must be
“Provided with meals”
And those travelling nuns must be
“P
rovided with grains”.
How is it that there are no other nuns in the nunnery? I live
“A secluded life”
And have no one to
“Write to for alms”.
When I grow old
“With passing years”,
My beauty fades
“Like the waning moon”.
Although I am not as beautiful as those ladies
“Who will forever live in the portraits”,
I hope to live among the immortals
“Who are pious and chaste”.
Too lazy to
“Wander around the world”,
I spend all the time
“Sitting in deep contemplation”.
Few nuns
“Share my views”
While few monks are worthy of my
“Coy smiles”.
For fear of their
“Underhand means”,
I’m like a fish in cold waters that
“Does not bite the bait”.
My only attendant is my
“Nephew who is treated as my son”,
who is called Scabby Turtle,
“Ridiculed as an ignorant man”.
VOICE WITHIN:
Why are you calling names, Auntie? I’m a lovely boy.
SISTER STONE:
Shame on you! Don’t you know
“Loss of sense of shame is a disgrace”?
Do you really think that you are
“Lovely and attractive”?
VOICE WITHIN:
A bailiff from Prefect Du is coming to arrest you.
SISTER STONE:
Why?
VOICE WITHIN:
He says that you are a witch of a Taoist nun.
SISTER STONE:
Oh, those bailiffs are
“Runners from the office”,
Taking me as a witch
“On the wanted list”.
I may well
“Stay at ease”
And care nothing for their
“Bluffs and intimidations”.
(Enter Bailiff)
BAILIFF:
“A bailiff from the office hall,
On the Taoist nun I call.”
SISTER STONE (Greets the bailiff):
What can I do for you, Mr Bailiff?
BAILIFF (To the tune of Dayagu):
The prefect stays in office;
His wife has sent her word
To cure some pain absurd.
Her dainty daughter
Has caught a strange disease,
And half a year now flees.
SISTER STONE:
I’m not a gynaecologist.
BAILIFF:
You’ll hold a service for her,
Then pray for her and see what will occur.
SISTER STONE (To the previous tune):
We Taoists have our secret way:
Use tiny talismans to pray
Beside her bed
And illness will flee from her head.
BAILIFF:
As you have such magic talismans, let’s hurry!
(They start to move)
SISTER STONE:
Boy!
(Response from within)
Take good care
And stay o’er there.
As no one is in the hall,
Watch the lights and all.
VOICE WITHIN:
Yes, I see.
SISTER STONE:
While fairy ladies burn incense at night,
BAILIFF:
The mountain nunnery hides itself from sight.
SISTER STONE:
Since Goddess carries remedies of life,
BAILIFF:
Make no excuse but rush in for the strife!
Scene Eighteen
Making Diagnoses
(Enter Du Liniang in illness, supported by Chunxiang)
DU LINIANG (To the tune of Yijiangfeng):
I feel so dizzy in disease.
Why am I not feeling well?
The reason is hard to tell.
When I woke up from my dream,
I saw the swallows in the sky
And bamboo blinds nearby.
I watch the spring depart,
I watch the spring depart.
While flowers fall apart,
The rustling tree-leaves break my heart.
Well, Chunxiang,
“How can a dreary lass,
Like a leaf in breeze,
Endure the long disease?
CHUNXIANG:
In every act
And every deed,
You show your charm,
Your noble breed
And lofty creed.
DU LINIANG:
My longing for plum bloom
And the man with willow-twigs
Vanish with the spring in gloom.
CHUNXIANG:
When incense burns at noon
And tranquil air is known,
Who makes you groan?
Who makes you pine?
Who makes you feel alone?”
DU LINIANG:
Chunxiang, I’ve been laid in bed since my dream during the spring stroll. Although I’m not afflicted by pain or itches, I feel dizzy all the time. What’s the matter with me?
CHUNXIANG:
Mistress, a dream is a dream. Forget about it!
DU LINIANG:
How can I forget about it!
(To the tune of Jinluosuo)
For a moment’s joy,
I’m entangled with the boy.
I’d like to stop recalling him,
But how can I stop recalling him?
I pine away
And live in fear from day to day,
Coughing all the way.
Alas!
Who will feel for me?
Who will share my woe with me?
How I regret,
How I regret for dreamland fret!
CHUNXIANG:
Madam has arranged a Taoist service to rid you of the evil spell.
DU LINIANG:
What’s the point to rid me of the spell?
Was it in the garden
That I met the evil spirit from the hell?
CHUNXIANG (To the previous tune):
When spring has left, does she think so?
When bedtime comes, does she think so?
Can she retain her breath as seasons flow?
She frowns in stress,
Like a beauty in distress.
My dear mistress,
Is the dreamland man your genuine wealth
That damages your fragile health?
You pine away before you wed your man.
What’s the use
Of unrequited love in your life span?
There is no sultry heat,
But you seem to be drunk by chance,
Always in a trance.
(Enter Chen Zuiliang)
CHEN ZUILIANG:
“To air the books, I fear the birds on roads;
To make the medicine, I need the fluid of toads.”
I am instructed by the prefect to make a diagnosis for the young mistress. Here I am in the inner court. I’ll call for someone to show me the way. Where’s my pupil Chunxiang?
CHUNXIANG (Greets Chen Zuiliang):
Mr Chen, Miss Du is now sleeping.
CHEN ZUILIANG:
Don’t disturb her. I’ll enter the room by myself.
(Greets Du Liniang)
Mistress!
DU LINIANG (Startled):
Who is it?
CHUNXIANG:
It’s Mr Chen.
DU LINIANG (Sits up on bed):
Mr Chen, as I’m confined to bed, I haven’t paid respects to you for some time.
CHEN ZUILIANG:
Mistress, as the saying goes in the classics, “Studies start from diligence and end in negligence.” Since you were exposed to the sun and the wind in the back garden the other day, you have been taken ill and
have neglected your studies. I’ve been worried about your health although I did not come to see you. And so I’m delighted to see you and make a diagnosis for you when orders come from the prefect. But I have not expected to see that you are so frail. In this case, when will you be able to get up and go on with your studies? I’m afraid the Dragon-Boat Festival is the earliest.
CHUNXIANG:
You’ll have your share for the festival, Mr Chen.
CHEN ZUILIANG:
When I speak of the Dragon-Boat Festival, I don’t mean to ask for my share of the gift. As a part of the diagnosis, may I ask how you got ill?
CHUNXIANG:
There’s no need to ask. It must have come from The Book of Poetry, especially from the line “A lad would like to woo”.
CHEN ZUILIANG:
Which lad do you mean?
CHUNXIANG:
Who knows!
CHEN ZUILIANG:
If that is the case, I’ll use The Book of Poetry to cure a disease contracted from it. There is a magic prescription for women’s diseases in the first volume.
CHUNXIANG:
Do you remember the prescription in The Book of Poetry, Mr Chen?
CHEN ZUILIANG:
According to the prescription, the young mistress should take a lad as she is sick for the lad. As The Book of Poetry has it,
“As I have seen my dear,
Why shouldn’t I rejoice?”
If the lad gives her a few thrusts, the disease will be thrust out of her at once.
DU LINIANG (Embarrassed):
Oh!
CHUNXIANG:
What else would you prescribe?
CHEN ZUILIANG:
Ten sour plums. As The Book of Poetry has it,
“You see seven plums drop
From the tree, lying on the way.”
There is also the line
“You see three plums drop from the tree.”
Three and seven makes ten. That is a good cure for sour memory of lovesickness between men and women.
(Du Liniang sighs)
CHUNXIANG:
What else?
CHEN ZUILIANG:
Three southern stars.
CHUNXIANG:
Will three be enough?
CHEN ZUILIANG:
Add a few more if you like. It’s said in The Book of Poetry,
“I see three stars of Orion rise.”
This is a good cure for acute lovesickness between men and women.
CHUNXIANG:
What else?
CHEN ZUILIANG:
I can see that the young mistress has much internal heat. You go and get a closet-stool ready and I’ll feed her with some purgatives. This is part of the prescription:
“If you are married to me,
I’ll feed your horse for thee.”
CHUNXIANG:
Feeding the mistress is quite different from feeding the horse.
CHEN ZUILIANG:
In both cases, you are feeding somebody with something.
DU LINIANG:
Mr Chen proves to be a quack doctor.
CHUNXIANG:
Experienced like an elderly lady in her monthly periods.
DU LINIANG: