by Tang Xianzu
LIU MENGMEI:
When emperor offers lofty price,
I’ll serve him with my sound advice.
MIAO SHUNBIN, LIU MENGMEI:
Make haste to shed the scholar’s gown;
Become a high official with renown.
LIU MENGMEI:
I’m really afraid that
(To the previous tune)
Although the emperor has discerning eyes,
The heaven may be blind.
Oh that I be a gem the Persians find!
MIAO SHUNBIN:
As the gold is always there,
The panner is aware of what to spare.
MIAO SHUNBIN, LIU MENGMEI:
Make haste to shed the scholar’s gown;
Become a high official with renown.
LIU MENGMEI:
I’m leaving now.
(To the tune of Coda)
It’s kind of you to give me gold.
MIAO SHUNBIN:
A cup of wine has made you bold.
I wish you
A brilliant future ahead of you!
LIU MENGMEI:
Above my black silk hat is lucid air;
MIAO SHUNBIN:
You are a man with noble grace and wit.
LIU MENGMEI:
I hear that the imperial court is just and fair;
MIAO SHUNBIN:
I’ve helped you make your journey there.
Scene Twenty-Two
A Hard Journey
(Enter Liu Mengmei, with an umbrella and a bundle, looking sick)
LIU MENGMEI (To the tune of Daolianzi):
A man en route without a rest
Is like a bird out of its nest.
(Howling wind within)
I brave the dreadful wind and snow,
Feeling cold and thus depressed.
“I packed my bundle in the south
And took a boat toward the north.
With homesick thoughts in chilly days,
I see plum blossoms bursting forth.”
The autumn wind was blowing when I left Envoy Miao Shunbin and had farewell dinner with my kith and kin. Winter has now been well under way when I get off the boat and climb over the Plum Ridge. As the wind north of the ridge is unexpectedly bitter, I’ve caught a cold but do not want to turn back. After one day’s trudge in the wind and snow, now I see Nan’an in the distance. What a wretched journey!
(To the tune of Shanpoyang)
With hungry vultures howling in the trees,
Alone the sick man leaves the ridge behind.
The hailstones hit my head and make me freeze;
The whistling umbrella stirs my mind.
A shortcut I take,
But no inns can I find.
Alas, snow,
Why do you play tricks on me flake by flake?
Look, there’s a broken bridge across the stream!
My footsteps shake.
Well, here’s a willow tree. I’ll hold onto it and walk across the bridge.
It is a hunchback friend, I deem.
(Holds onto the willow tree and walks across the bridge)
Snap,
It is a withered tree I’ve found.
Thump,
I slip and fall flat on the ground.
(Falls to the ground)
(Enter Chen Zuiliang)
CHEN ZUILIANG (To the tune of Bubujiao):
Free from care, free from woe,
On a donkey I ride,
Toward a bridge I go.
To find a tutor’s job I’ve tried.
(Liu Mengmei groans)
Why is there such a groan?
(Looks around)
Well, from which broken kiln
Comes such a man of skin and bone?
LIU MENGMEI:
Help! Help!
CHEN ZUILIANG:
I, Chen Zuiliang, have come out in the cold weather to look for a tutor’s job. As my luck would have it, the first thing I meet is someone who falls in the stream. It’s none of my business.
LIU MENGMEI (Cries again):
Help!
CHEN ZUILIANG:
Help? A good deed is always a double blessing. I’ll ask him what’s happened.
(Asks Liu Mengmei)
Who are you and how did you have a fall here?
LIU MENGMEI:
I’m a scholar.
CHEN ZUILIANG:
As you are a scholar, let me help you to your feet.
(Slips when he tries to help Liu Mengmei to his feet, and make fun at each other)
May I ask where you come from?
LIU MENGMEI (To the tune of Fenrusong):
From Guangzhou I’ve come by boat
To offer treasures I can boast.
CHEN ZUILIANG:
What are your treasures?
LIU MENGMEI:
On my way to take imperial tests,
I’ve caught a cold in flimsy coat.
When I tried to cross the bridge,
I nearly broke my back and throat.
CHEN ZUILIANG:
It seems to me that you are fully confident of your success, otherwise you won’t be going through all the hardships.
LIU MENGMEI:
As a matter of fact, I’m a jade pillar that holds up the sky and a gold bridge that runs across the sea.
CHEN ZUILIANG (Laughs):
How comes that the pillar cracks with the cold weather and that the bridge collapses in the middle? Well, so much so. I’m quite well-versed in medicine. There is a Plum Blossom Nunnery nearby, where you can stop over till spring comes.
(To the previous tune)
A scholar came across the bridge,
A blissful sign to have a fall.
I’ll get you medicine on the ridge,
For you to take in nunnery best of all.
LIU MENGMEI:
How far is the nunnery away from here?
CHEN ZUILIANG (Points the way):
Over there where snow-white blossoms smile
And silken banners wave above the wall.
LIU MENGMEI:
Will you please lead the way?
At thirty still without a home,
CHEN ZUILIANG:
I saw you at first sight a friend.
LIU MENGMEI:
In holy places where the fairies roam,
LIU MENGMEI, CHEN ZUILIANG:
The east wind escorts them to a good end.
Scene Twenty-Three
The Judgement in Hell
(Enter the Infernal Judge, followed by a ghost carrying a writing-brush and a register-book)
INFERNAL JUDGE (To the tune of Northern Dianjiangchun):
I did my service well
For Prince of the Tenth Hell.
The human beings,
When they are no more,
Will be led into our door.
I am Judge Hu under Prince of the Tenth Hell. There had been ten princes in the hell, but when the population dwindled due to the wars between the house of Zhao and the house of Jin, the Jade Emperor in the heaven decreed to cut the staff. One prince was to take charge of one of the nine territories, and only the tenth prince was dismissed from his office. As there was no one to take care of the official seal, the Jade Emperor placed it in my charge as a reward to my honesty and intelligence. Today is my first day to be in office. At the sight of the lines of ghosts and yakshas with knives and swords in their hands, I can sense that this is no small occasion.
GHOST (Presents the writing-brush):
Every new official on his inauguration day will use this brush to allot the punishment and sign his name. Will Your Lordship sing praise of the brush?
INFERNAL JUDGE (Examines the brush):
You see, ghost, this writing-brush is of great significance.
(To the tune of Hunjianglong)
This brush is resting on the rack,
Made of human flesh.
The clerks and copyists at the back
Are always smart and fresh.<
br />
GHOST:
What’s the brush-shaft made of?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
It’s made of an arm-bone or a shin-bone,
As round as a bamboo pole.
GHOST:
What about the brush-hairs?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
They are hairs from the heads of the ox-head ghosts and the yakshas,
Or scarlet beard encircled by a wire.
GHOST:
Who selected the hairs?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
The hairs were picked
According to the special desire.
GHOST:
What is the name of this writing-brush?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
This tube of a pen
Is honoured by the sire.
GHOST:
What would you do if you are in high spirits?
INFERNAL JUDGE (Laughs and then dances):
I’ll make a whistle
To scare away the evil force,
Or start a dance
To track the heavenly course.
GHOST:
What if you are merry?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
When I’m merry,
I’ll bring my brush toward the bridge to hell.
GHOST:
What if you are bored?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
When I’m bored,
I’ll throw my brush toward the door to hell.
GHOST:
Did you succeed in the celestial examination?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
When I took the test for gods,
My name was listed on the top.
GHOST:
Are you good at writing poems?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
With the help of literary stars,
My flow of poems will never stop.
GHOST:
You are a highly gifted scholar.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Although I’m no match with Li He
Whose songs resounded to a height,
I’m on a par with Shi Manqing
Who wrote his poems at night.
Although I can’t depict the whole wild world,
I can well stir up trouble with all might.
GHOST:
What position are you holding now?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
You ask about my position?
In Polaris’ hall, in Yama’s palace,
I stand erect with pride.
You say I’ve no office?
In temples of mountain gods and city gods,
My statue stands on the left-hand side.
GHOST:
Is there anyone whom you respect?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
With upraised hands I stand there in my place,
And let the Buddha sit in solemn grace.
GHOST:
Is there anyone who annoys you?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Well, a statue of mine less than three feet tall is by no means majestic. I have to face
Inferior ghosts of various kinds
With grotesque shapes and minds.
GHOST:
Your official hat is somewhat outworn.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
As I stand all day,
With a writing-brush and a register-book in hand,
My hat is stained with dust and clay.
GHOST:
There’s no ink on your writing-brush.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
To moisten the brush,
If you give me gold, silver or money,
I will not blush.
GHOST:
Here’s the register-book of the dead.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
To find the names I take a casual look
And fetch the dead men at the proper date.
I’ll make a tick and sign my name
Behind one man or another
According to his destined fate.
In the register-book
Is recorded every name,
Be it small or great.
GHOST:
I’ll prepare the ink for you.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
On the slab he prepares the ink;
Scritch-scratch, scritch-scratch,
The shiny black ink is filled to the brink.
GHOST:
The rooster is crowing.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
The death-knell tolls,
Ding-dong,ding-dong.
While roosters invoke the wandering souls.
GHOST:
Will you please tick the names now?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
When I tick some names.
These souls will enter samsara,
A multitude of weal and woe.
When I tick the other names,
Those souls will enter bottomless hell,
To suffer endless torments down below.
GHOST:
Your signature, please.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Alas, with my signature,
They will go through severe ordeal.
GHOST:
What about “invitations”?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
As for invitations,
They’re for the sick that cannot heal.
GHOST:
Hang up the scales!
(Petty ghosts respond in chorus)
INFERNAL JUDGE:
With a pair of scales hanging on hair,
We find their bodies lighter than their crime,
And so we’ll finish with them in no time.
(Cries of pain and begging for mercy are heard from within)
GHOST:
The Ninth Prince is torturing the dead souls next door.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
The torture is music of the flesh.
The wails and howls of those dead souls
Are masterpieces of pain.
At this time,
The slightest smile is thought to be insane.
(Wails are heard from within)
In this place,
The faintest moan is held in rein.
GHOST:
So you are afraid!
INFERNAL JUDGE (Annoyed):
Oops!
By infernal law
I mete out different awards.
In the dreadful hell,
I wield my judicial swords.
My bearded face is fierce and stern;
My uplift eyes are burning bright.
I’ve got recorders on my left
And secretaries on my right.
Like the gold county judge,
Like the silver prefectural judge,
Like the copper provincial judge,
Like the iron ministerial judge —
Like all the judges in the earthly courts,
I make my judgements according to laws.
With a humidity samsara,
With a universe samsara,
With a womb samsara,
With a shell samsara —
With different samsara forms,
I’ve been promoted because I have norms.
In dignity I rule the fate of men;
In majesty I fulfil the godly yen.
Send for the secretary. As is recorded in the register-book, how many cases are to be dispatched today?
(Enter the secretary)
SECRETARY:
“A secretary in the human world
Becomes a secretary in the netherworld.”
Your Lordship, since the Tenth Prince was dismissed, his office has been vacant for three years. In the City of lnnocent Deaths, there are four males of minor offenses Zhao Da, Qian Shiwu, Sun Xin and Li Houer, in addition to a female Du Liniang. They haven’t been sentenced yet.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Bring in the four male offenders first.
(The ghost leads in the four male offenders: Zhao Da, Qian Shiwu, Sun Xin and Li Houer)
GHOST:
Here are the male offenders.
; INFERNAL JUDGE (Calls the roll):
For what offense, Zhao Da, are you detained in the City of Innocent Deaths?
ZHAO DA:
I’m not guilty. When I was alive, I would like to sing some songs.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Step aside. What about you, Qian Shiwu?
QIAN SHIWU:
I’m not guilty. When I built a small hut, I mixed some allalloch eaglewood in the mud.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Step aside. And you, Sun Xin?
SUN XIN:
When I was young, I used to spend some money in the brothel.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
And you, Li Houer?
LI HOUER:
I committed a minor offense. I’m homosexual.
GHOST:
That’s true. Even here in the hell he seduced a little monkey of a man.
INFERNAL JUDGE (Annoyed):
Shut up! Stand back and mind your own business!
(Writes on the register-book)
Now listen carefully to the verdicts.
(The four male offenders kneel on the ground)
As I have just come into office, I’m not going to put you to tortures. You are remitted and allowed to have a shell samsara.
LI HOUER:
Would Your Lordship tell us what shells you mean? If they are of Arabian eggs, we’ll be reborn in the remote border-area.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Pooh, do you want to be reborn a man? You’ll enter the eggshells.
ZHAO DA, QIAN SHIWU, SUN XIN, LI HOUER (Wail loudly):
Oh, we’ll be devoured by men!
INFERNAL JUDGE:
All right. I won’t have men devour you. Zhao Da, as you were fond of singing, you shall be reborn as an oriole.
ZHAO DA:
It’s nice of you. I shall be Miss Oriole in my next life!
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Qian Shiwu, as you used to live in a spiced mud hut, you shall be reborn as a swallow to enjoy your next life in a swallow’s nest.
QIAN SHIWU:
I’ll be glad to be Empress Swallow in my next life!
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Sun Xin, as you used to spend money in the brothel, you shall be reborn as a butterfly.
LI HOUER:
I’d like to go with Sun Xin and be a butterfly too.
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Li Houer, as you used to be a homosexual, you shall be reborn as a bee with a needle in your asshole.
LI HOUER:
Why, whom am I to sting?
INFERNAL JUDGE:
Now you four insects, listen to me.
(To the tune of Youhulu)
Oh Butterfly,
How pretty is your powdered coat!
Oh Bee,
How bitter is your biting sting!
Oh Swallow,
How fragrant is your mudded nest!
Oh Oriole,
How pleasant is the song you sing!
You friends will fly among the blooms abreast.
In the earthly world, the lads and lasses may
Pelt you oriole all around,
Or strike you butterfly with a perfumed fan.