by Tang Xianzu
LIU MENGMEI (To the previous tune):
After ten years of studies,
The plums will bloom in the coldest nine days.
Our fates are fixed by eight points of time —
You’ll ride in a carriage of seven fragrant trees,
Have an audience with the queen in her six halls,
And receive your title on the five-coloured silk.
A model of four virtues
And three laws of obedience, you’ll live well.
When you see my name on golden lists two inches long,
I’ll be meeting you on a magnificent carriage.
DU LINIANG:
My dear, I still remember the poem I wrote on my portrait.
(To the tune of Coda)
I shall see you in your best
When you do well in the imperial test.
When you succeed in your examination, we’ll go and meet your parents-in-law. They will say that
From Hell to Heaven I am blessed.
DU LINIANG:
My dearest husband is indeed sublime;
SISTER STONE:
Yon must hurry lest you miss your time.
LIU MENGMEI:
Forget not to count the days in your bedroom,
LIU MENGMEI, DU LINIANG, SISTER STONE:
From high above there comes joyous chime.
Scene Forty
Looking for His Master
(Enter Hunchback Guo, carrying his luggage on a shoulder-pole)
HUNCHBACK GUO (To the tune of Gufeiyan):
The human life is long and tedious;
I keep decades of life in mind.
My master, Mr Liu, is a learned man,
With no other means of life
Than relying on the orchard trees,
Which nature makes them ripe.
As years go by,
The orchard lies in waste.
Master, where are you?
I have no idea as to what to do.
I do not know
Where to find my revenue.
“The servants do their work well
When their master’s there.
When Master says farewell,
The orchard trees are bare.”
For all my life I have grown trees for the Lius. Strange to say, when Mr Liu was at home, each tree could bear over a hundred fruits; but since Mr Liu was gone, each tree has born over a hundred worms. For the few fruits on the trees, they are all stolen by the boys. With no master to help me, I have been bullied all the time. At last I decided to look for my master. I heard that he had crossed the Five Ridges and was put up in the Plum Blossom Nunnery for illness. I followed him all the way to this place only to find that the city-gate had been sealed by the Nan’an Prefecture. I learned that the nun had fled for some crime and that she had a nephew, Scabby Turtle, who lived near the west city-gate. I’ll go and try to find out the whereabouts of my master.
(Walks on)
“Follow the eastern road,
And reach the western gate.”
(Exit)
(Enter Scabby Turtle in Liu Mengmei’s robe, laughing)
SCABBY TURTLE (To the tune of Jinqianhua):
I have a scabby head since my boyhood,
Since my boyhood.
I was put in jail for my aunt’s sake,
For my aunt’s sake.
I was tied
And was tried.
I was released,
But my house was leased.
I run errands in the open air,
From lane to street, from here to there.
“Nobody will know it,
Unless you haven’t done it.”
I am Scabby Turtle. As there’s nobody around, I’ll tell you my story. Indeed, my aunt and Mr Liu did a good job and escaped at the right time. After Tutor Chen the rascal reported it to the Nan’an Prefecture, I was put in custody and questioned: “Where’s your aunt? Who’s robbed the grave?” I was not clever, but I was cunning enough. I hung my head and kept my mouth shut. The damned judge said, “Truss up a horse and it grows; squeeze a man and he talks. Put the head-hoop on that scoundrel’s head!” Oops, oops, what a pain! The torturers had got a golden bell and a jade chime out of me, so they did me a favour by reporting to the judge that they had squeezed my brains out of me. The damned judge said, “Take some and show it to me.” He looked and said with a wave of his nose, “It’s true you’ve squeezed his brain out of him.” As he didn’t know that it was the pus from my scabby head, he let me off. And so I was released on bail. Now that my life is preserved, I put on the robe Mr Liu gave me and swagger in the street.
(Sings)
Sway and strut,
Strut and sway.
In the empty street,
I swagger on the way.
(Enter Hunchback Guo)
HUNCHBACK GUO (Bows to Scabby Turtle):
How do you do, sir.
SCABBY TURTLE (Does not return the bow, but sings with a laugh):
I’ve got a pain in my back
And cannot bow.
For a hunchback,
You are stretching yourself now.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
You thief, you’re mouthing dirty words. Have you never bowed?
SCABBY TURTLE:
I’ll slap on your face. What have I stolen from you? Me, a thief?
HUNCHBACK GUO (Inspects Scabby Turtle’s robe):
I don’t care about anything else, but how is it that you’re wearing a robe that belongs to Mr Liu from Lingnan?
SCABBY TURTLE:
Well, why can’t I have a decent coat or two by myself? When you say that it belongs to the Lius of Lingnan, who has seen me stealing it from across the ridge?
HUNCHBACK GUO:
His name is woven into the ribbon. If you don’t tell the truth, I’ll call the cop.
(Tries to grab at Scabby Turtle)
SCABBY TURTLE (Frightened, stumbles on the ground):
All right, I’ll give back the robe to you.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
No more kidding! I just want to ask you about someone.
SCABBY TURTLE:
Who is it?
HUNCHBACK GUO:
Where is Mr Liu, the scholar?
SCABBY TURTLE:
I don’t know.
(Hunchback asks the question three times and Scabby Turtle says he doesn’t know all the time)
HUNCHBACK GUO:
If you won’t tell, I’ll call the cop.
SCABBY TURTLE:
Well, I’ll tell you, but it’s not convenient to talk in the street. Let’s go to the army’s training ground.
(Scabby Turtle and Hunchback Guo walk on)
HUNCHBACK GUO:
What a quiet place!
SCABBY TURTLE:
So there was a Mr Liu, but I don’t know whether he’s the man you’re looking for. If you tell me that he’s the right person, I’ll tell you; if you can’t, I won’t tell you even if you call the cop or the judge.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
How cunning you are! Now listen to me:
(To the tune of Weifanxu)
This Mr Liu
Has a fair face
Full of grace.
SCABBY TURTLE:
Yes, and what is his age?
HUNCHBACK GUO:
From his appearance,
He looks less than thirty.
SCABBY TURTLE:
Yes, and what’s your relationship?
HUNCHBACK GUO:
For years and years in his home,
I’ve tended flowers and grown the rice.
From his childhood,
I was in his place.
SCABBY TURTLE:
So you’re his steward. When did you part with him and do you know what he has done?
HUNCHBACK GUO:
We parted in the spring
And I have traced him all the way here.
As to what he has done,
I am not clear.
SCABBY T
URTLE:
What this old man says makes sense. Old man, I’ll tell you what he has done.
(Whispers to Hunchback Guo, who cannot hear clearly)
Phew! As no one is around here, I’ll make some fun of him. Old man, now listen.
(To the previous tune)
He was ill when he arrived here.
He happened to meet Mr Chen, tutor to the prefect’s daughter Miss Du, and
Was tempted to live in the nunnery
And was shown around the back garden.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
What happened next?
SCABBY TURTLE:
When he came across Miss Du’s tomb, he picked up a portrait of a young lady. As he was haunted by the portrait day and night, he made some trouble.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
What’s the trouble?
SCABBY TURTLE:
He took it for a genuine maid
And dug the grave.
HUNCHBACK GUO (Surprised):
What happened next?
SCABBY TURTLE:
I’ll tell you. When Tutor Chen reported it to the prefecture, the cops came and surrounded the nunnery. They arrested and bound up Mr Liu and my aunt, Sister Stone, and clamped their fingers. They were forced to confess their crimes and sign their confessions. When they were brought to the provincial prison, the magistrate checked the civil codes as to how they were going to be punished and found out that all the grave-robbers should be silenced.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
What does “silenced” mean?
SCABBY TURTLE (Presses Hunchback Guo’s head as if ready to chop his head):
It means this!
HUNCHBACK GUO (Astonished and in tears):
Oh my master, I have nowhere to go.
SCABBY TURTLE (Laughs):
Don’t worry, please.
Later they were acquitted, and Miss Du came back to life.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
How could that happen!
SCABBY TURTLE:
The revived ghost became his wife;
My aunt became their servant maid.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
Where are they now?
SCABBY TURTLE:
They went to Lin’an.
When I saw them off,
He gave me this old robe.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
I was really scared to death, but it turned out to be good news.
(To the tune of Coda)
He went to Lin’an for imperial exams;
SCABBY TURTLE:
I see.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
I must be on my way to the capital town.
SCABBY TURTLE:
Look out on the way, old man, for at this moment
The portraits are posted to hunt them down.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
To search for hermits in the fairy spring,
SCABBY TURTLE:
Just follow main roads on the western wing.
HUNCHBACK GUO:
Amid the bustling crowd we cannot talk
SCABBY TURTLE:
About a scholar who will see the king.
Scene Forty-One
Late for the Examination
(Enter Miao Shunbin with his attendants)
MIAO SHUNBIN (To the tune of Fenghuangge):
When border areas are aflame with battle-fire,
How can the scholars fulfil their desire?
When flowers blossom on the bough,
Who will obtain the laurel now?
MIAO SHUNBIN, ATTENDANTS:
Tightly close the door
When we mark the score.
MIAO SHUNBIN:
“Examiners await the gifted man,
Ready for him to appear.
He can requite the love of spring,
If he writes good essays here.”
I am Miao Shunbin. As I did a good job in examining the treasures presented by the foreign merchants, I have been appointed chief examiner in the imperial examinations. In face of the Jin invasion, His Majesty decreed the topic for this year’s examination: “Among appeasement, offence and defence, which is the best policy?” Now that top-rank papers have been picked out from examinees in different sections, I am instructed to make the final selection. To my mind, it is easier to judge treasures than to judge essays. The reason is that my eyes are like cat’s eyes, no different from green crystals. They will glow when they meet genuine treasures, while they won’t glow when they meet words. However, I have to carry out the imperial decree. Attendants, open the cases and hand me the papers.
(Reads the papers when the attendants have fetched the papers)
Well, there are not many papers. I’ll first have a look at three essays from the first section. The first essay reads, “His Majesty’s topic is: Among appeasement, offence and defence, which is the best policy?” “In my opinion, The nation’s appeasement with the invaders can be compared to the village elder’s settlement of a quarrel.” Oh, if the village elder fails to settle a quarrel, nothing serious will happen, but, if the nation fails to appease the invaders, who knows what will happen! There’s no reason for me to rank it as the first. The second essay is in favour of defence.
(Reads)
“In my opinion, the emperor’s defence of his nation can be compared to the virgin’s defence of her body.” This is an improper comparison. The third essay is in favour of offence.
(Reads)
“In my opinion, the southern dynasty’s combat with the north can be compared to yang’s offence on yin.” It’s a fantastic comparison, but there is indeed the saying “yin and yang in conflict” in The Book of Changes. Years ago, Qin Hui’s appeasement policy impaired the nation. Now I’ll put offence in the first place, defence in the second place, and appeasement in the third place. The other papers will be ranked in the same order.
(To the tune of Yifengshu)
The essays are of various kinds,
But the scholars make their essays trite.
They try to rack their minds,
But few of them are bright.
The chances are still there,
But slim for those in plight.
I can hardly do anything about it —
The annual test is fair and square,
But not a genius comes in sight.
(Seals the papers)
(Enter Liu Mengmei)
LIU MENGMEI (To the tune of Shenzhang’er):
This is a battleground,
A battleground
For gifted men from all around.
ATTENDANT:
You come at the right time when the examination is over.
LIU MENGMEI:
Alas, the examination is over, but may I present my essay?
ATTENDANT:
No, you can’t. Do you suppose that we are waiting for you? It is said that
When scholars gather round,
We close the testing ground.
LIU MENGMEI:
But I’m afraid the Number One Scholar has not been decided yet.
ATTENDANT:
Not many, but there are three already.
LIU MENGMEI:
In a race of ten thousand steeds,
The topmost one is yet to prove in deeds.
Will you go in at once and announce that a scholar for the make-up examination is at the door?
ATTENDANT:
There’s no make-up examination in the imperial court. You can have it in your county or prefecture.
LIU MENGMEI:
Are you not going indeed, brother?
(Weeps)
Oh, heavens! Mr Miao offered the fare for me to present treasures, but
As I fail to present treasures here,
How can I stop my tear?
MIAO SHUNBIN (Overhears the talk):
Doorman, who’s making a fuss in a solemn place like this? Bring him in.
(The attendant drags Liu Mengmei in)
LIU MENGMEI:
I’ve come for the make-up examination. I beg
you to give me a try.
MIAO SHUNBIN:
Now that His Majesty has decreed the topic and the examination hall has been locked, who dares to accept you?
LIU MENGMEI (Weeps):
I’ve come all the way from Lingnan with my family. As I have no way out, I’ll bump my head at the steps and die in front of you at once.
(Tries to bump his head but is stopped by the attendant)
MIAO SHUNBIN (Aside):
This scholar looks like the Mr Liu I met before. He’s a pearl of a man from the South Sea.
(Turns to Liu Mengmei)
Come forward, young scholar. Do you have the paper to write your answers?
LIU MENGMEI:
Yes, I have.
MIAO SHUNBIN:
Well, you are admitted to enter the examination and will be judged on the same footing as the other scholars.
LIU MENGMEI (Kneels):
Once in a blue moon am I bestowed such a favour.
MIAO SHUNBIN (Reads the topic):
“His Majesty decrees the topic: In face of the Jin invasion, which is the best policy, among appeasement, offence and defence?”
LIU MENGMEI (Kowtows):
I’ve got the imperial topic.
(Rises to his feet)
ATTENDANT:
Go to the eastern section.
(Liu Mengmei writes)
MIAO SHUNBIN (Reads the three papers again):
The first essay is in favour of appeasement, the second essay is in favour of defence, and the third is in favour of offence. I’m afraid that His Majesty won’t like the idea of appeasement.
(Liu Mengmei hands in his paper)
MIAO SHUNBIN (Reads the paper):
He’s written a thousand words in the twinkling of an eye. Marvellous, marvellous! As I can’t finish your paper in a glance, just tell me briefly what policy you are in favour of: appeasement, offence, or defence.
LIU MENGMEI:
I’m not in favour of any particular policy. Either offence or defence will do, and then appeasement will also do. It’s like a doctor prescribing the medicine. Offence can be used to cure outward symptoms, defence can be used to cure inward symptoms, and appeasement can be used to harmonise the two.
MIAO SHUNBIN:
A wonderful idea! Simply wonderful! What do you think of the present situation?
LIU MENGMEI (To the tune of Matihua):
His Majesty
Remains here
By the scenic West Lake,
Where autumn cassias bloom
And lotus flowers perfume,
Mixed with worries for border war’s sake.
I hope that
The alien king should cease to expand,
So that we can recover the lost land.
If we adhere to appeasement,
The court will bear the shame henceforth;