by Tang Xianzu
Don’t worry! I left a scheme. When they were about to enter the city, I threw the empty clay jars on the battlefield and stumbled the horses. They failed to enter the city, thanks to the clay jars.
With jars piled mountain-high
And clay all over the ground,
The bandit troops slipped and retreated.
As my merit is to be registered
To atone for my crime,
I am to be pardoned for I was drunk.
CHUNYU FEN:
Zhou Bian, before you left, I told you to drink less and learn more. You didn’t take my words to heart; therefore you will be punished according to the military discipline.
ZHOU BIAN:
Well, who is not fond of drinks since ancient times? If the heaven is not fond of drinks, it will not have the wine star; if the earth is not fond of drinks, it will not have the wine spring. Since both the heaven and the earth are fond of drinks, drinking is the right of a military man. Fan Kuai in the Han Dynasty, Zhou Yu and Guan Yu in the period of the Three Kingdoms are all fond of drinks. I am not the only one who is fond of drinks.
CHUNYU FEN (To the tune of Southern Baolaocui):
You are citing the past to allude to the present —
General Fan Kuai got drunk, but he spoiled the Hongmen plot;
Lord Guan had a blushing face not for the sake of drinking;
Compared with Zhou Yu,
You are below par
In drinking the wine.
Well, as you are my fellow countryman and my fellow official, you will not be punished according to the military discipline for the moment. You’ll wait for your punishment in the prison. I’ll report to His Majesty to make the decision.
I’ll leave your head with you
And put you in the prison,
As I submit a memorial for His Majesty to decide on your fate.
Attendants, put him into prison!
(The attendants try to tie him up)
ZHOU BIAN (Refuses to obey):
(To the tune of Northern Shuixianzi)
Damn! Damn! Damn!
Damn you all!
CHUNYU FEN (Annoyed):
Tie him up!
ZHOU BIAN:
Tie! Tie! Tie!
Tie me and I’ll put to the sword!
CHUNYU FEN:
Shut up! Do you think that I can’t have you tied? Hang the Royal Command Plate!
(The attendants hang the Royal Command Plate)
TIAN ZIHUA:
Sober up, Captain! Look at the Royal Command Plate!
ZHOU BIAN (Looks up and gets scared. Aside):
He! He! He!
He tells me to open my grim eyes.
(Wipes his eyes)
I! I! I!
I’ll act the idiot.
(Looks aslant)
How! How! How!
How has he hung the Royal Command Plate?
You! You! You!
You must have the secret permission by His Majesty!
ALL:
Captain, why don’t you kneel before the Royal Command Plate?
ZHOU BIAN (With his hands tied behind his back):
Why! Why! Why!
Why should a general kneel to a magistrate!
So! So! So!
So I have to kneel in front of the plate.
(Kneels)
CHUNYU FEN:
Have you submitted yourself to being tied?
ZHOU BIAN:
I have submitted myself to none other than His Majesty.
This! This! This!
This is the obligation of a subject.
CHUNYU FEN:
Well, you’ll be sent to prison.
(To the tune of Southern Shuangshengzi)
The other day,
The other day,
I told you to drink less.
You did not listen,
You did not listen,
But gloss over your promise.
You are lost,
You are lost.
Brag no more!
Brag no more!
You’ll wait for His Majesty’s decree
In the prison.
(Enter the jailer)
JAILER:
I’ve come to meet you, captain.
CHUNYU FEN:
Defeated captain, you’ll stay in the prison for a few days.
ZHOU BIAN (Annoyed):
Alas! A hero like me has come to this!
(To the tune of Northern Coda)
I broke through the encirclement,
But can’t break through the prison wall.
My back aches. Please have a look at it!
ATTENDANTS (Look and laugh):
It’s nothing but a pink ulcer.
ZHOU BIAN:
Let it be! Let it be!
I’m so angry that ulcer grows on my back.
There is nothing else to blame but the five thousand jars!
I regret,
I regret that I didn’t sleep on a clay jar
And die a hero on the battlefield.
(Exit)
CHUNYU FEN:
Liquor nearly costs his head;
TIAN ZIHUA:
By now he is kept in the cell.
CHUNYU FEN, TIAN ZIHUA:
When he is sober, he feels the dread,
For he is a loser, but alive and well.
Scene Thirty-Two
Court Counseling
(Enter the Ant King, followed by attendants)
ANT KING (To the tune of Xiaopenglai):
Changes take place in the world,
But the ants remain the same.
As King of the Peaceful Locust,
I deploy the troops in Nanke,
But am worried about the recent events.
(In the pattern of Collected Tang Poems)
“Poplars and willows are lined on the banks,
While the palace is cold in an autumn day.
As the royal troops are entangled in battles,
When will the garrison be on the homeward way?”
I am King of the State of Peaceful Locust,
At odds with the Sandals and Vines.
When the princess was encircled recently,
The Royal Son-in-Law came to her rescue.
Zhou Bian was sent as enforcement
To assist River Town.
There is no report of victory yet,
And the Right Prime Minister must have some news.
(Enter Duan Gong, with a memorial)
DUAN GONG (To the previous tune):
I am honored as the Right Prime Minister,
Assisting the king in his handling the state affairs.
Well,
Laws and regulations have been laid down,
But the frontier regions have been neglected.
I shall present the memorial in hot haste.
I am the Right Prime Minister. In the important county of Nanke, His Highness the Royal Son-in-Law has been assigned there for over twenty years and has assumed too much power. To my worry, he is deep-rooted and hard to control. It happened that the princess was encircled and River Town was in trouble. His fame has thus been affected. I would count myself lucky, for things might have been even worse. His Highness sent in a memorial last night, asking about the punishment of Zhou Bian. I’ll present the memorial and do as I see fit.
(Kneels)
The Right Prime Minister Guan Gong seeks an audience.
ANT KING:
As you have just come in, do you have any news about the war with the Sandals and Vines?
DUAN GONG:
His Highness has sent in a memorial post-haste. Please allow me to read it!
(To the tune of Suochuanglang)
I am on tenterhooks to report
That we had an encounter with the bandit troops.
ANT KING:
Zhou Bian can lead the army to fight with them.
DUAN GONG:
The troops went on the expedition,
But only one man returned alive.
ANT KING:
So he’s badly defeated.
DUAN GONG:
I am frank
And do not want to cheat you.
I hope that Your Majesty
Will remove me from office.
Zhou Bian is to be punished
For his deadly faults.
ANT KING:
When we are prosperous, we can soar to the sky; when we degenerate, we are restrained like stranded dragons. We are defeated by the tiny State of Sandals and Vines. Oops, the Royal Son-in-Law is imprudent this time.
(To the previous tune)
Nanke is a strategic spot,
Strong enough to resist the Sandals and Vines.
How can an army of ten thousand soldiers
Suffer such casualties!
If the news is leaked,
The enemy will despise us.
Annoying! Annoying!
In command of the army,
How can the Royal Son-in-Law
Entrust Zhou Bian?
DUAN GONG (To the previous tune):
The error in the frontier is serious,
But His Highness has weathered hardships in twenty years.
ANT KING:
That’s it. My son-in-law has been stationed in the border area for years, and the princess has time and again entreated to return to the capital. As no proper person is to succeed him as the magistrate of Nanke, I have dropped the idea.
DUAN GONG:
When His Highness returns, Tian Zihua is still there.
As he is well-versed in military strategies,
He is able to succeed His Highness.
The princess can return to the capital,
And recuperate her health.
ANT KING:
The minister should take responsibility for the loss of the war. It’s Chunyu’s fault this time.
DUAN GONG:
His Highness is to be commended,
But Zhou Bian
Is to be punished.
ANT KING:
Then, Zhou Bian is to be executed for his loss of war.
DUAN GONG:
Zhou Bian is a bosom friend of His Highness. He recommended Zhou Bian twice. I’m afraid that the execution of Zhou Bian will hurt the feelings of His Highness. He’d better be remitted from death and atone for his crimes by meritorious service.
ANT KING:
Your request is consented.
Zhou Bian is remitted from death
While Tian Zihua is to succeed the office.
The princess is to follow her man
To return to the capital town.
Scene Thirty-Three
Summoned to the Capital
(Enter Princess Golden Branch, supported by the maid of honor)
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH (To the tune of Yichichi):
In fears since I came to the Jade Terrace,
I am deeply worried.
With tears soaking my pillows,
I often wake up from dreams in deep autumn.
MAID OF HONOR:
She combs at random by the dressing table,
Frowning for her thought of return.
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH (In the pattern of Gutiaoxiao):
“The soul departs,
The soul departs,
With autumn dreams in the Jade Terrace.
I wake up in Nanke again,
Tormented by fragility and illness.
Worsening illness,
Worsening illness
Is the predestined fate for a princess.”
In weak health since my childhood, I feel all the more melancholy as I was frightened by the encirclement, Zhou Bian’s loss of war and the anxiety for His Highness. I’ve asked my parents to bring me to the capital, so as to recover from my poor health, to consolidate the position of His Highness as he might have incurred jealousy for his fame in Nanke for so many years, and to seek titles and offices for my children. I am waiting for the decree by His Majesty.
(Enter Chunyu Fen)
CHUNYU FEN (To the tune of Buchangong):
Sorrow prevails in the painted hall,
Pearled curtains wavering in the rain.
Picking withered flowers against the rails,
She touches me with her deep affection.
(Greets Princess of Golden Branch)
Are you feeling better?
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
I’m afraid that I won’t recover. Your Highness, how long have we been here?
CHUNYU FEN:
For twenty years in all.
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH (Sighs):
Chunyu, listen to me. Born in the palace, I didn’t expect to be married to you. I have assisted you in managing the affairs in Nanke and winning some fame. The loss of war with the Sandals and Vines has diminished your fame. What’s more, you have been the magistrate for twenty years. It’s time for you to quit the office. I’m afraid I’ll die before you.
(Weeps)
(Noise of the locust tree within)
CHUNYU FEN:
What’s the noise?
(Enter the eldest son)
ELDEST SON:
Dad and Mom, the locust tree is making the noise.
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH (Smiles):
Your Highness, I’m pleased at the clear noise of the tree.
CHUNYU FEN:
You are seldom pleased.
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
This locust tree is called the “Sounding Tree”. Whenever a Prime Minister is nominated, this tree would make clear noise. By this good omen, you’ll be the Prime Minister sooner or later. However, when I’m gone, you’ll go through various hardships.
(To the tune of Jixianbin)
It’s too late for one to repent at the end of his life;
Love is common for the young people,
But dearer for a couple of many years.
I have never treated you shabbily, and so, I hope you will not marry again when I’m gone.
You’ll sleep in the cold quilt in an empty hall.
You won’t be the same as before when you return to court.
You should learn to handle relations
And keep your dignity when I’m gone.
CHUNYU FEN, PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
With a painful heart,
I wish that we shall never die.
CHUNYU FEN (To the previous tune):
(Weeps)
Princess,
Your words will linger in my heart,
Like cuckoos weeping tears of blood.
I’ll bear the loneliness when you are gone,
But the children will not feel the same.
Princess,
With deep affection,
You have accompanied me all these twenty years.
CHUNYU FEN, PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
With a painful heart,
I wish that we shall never die.
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH (Weeps):
(To the tune of Mao’erzui)
Fits of cold and fever
Have bleached the blush on my cheeks.
Maids,
Prepare the paper and I’ll write a few letters
To the palace in the capital town.
CHUNYU FEN (Makes a bow):
Oh, heavens!
At the turn of our lives,
Please relax your steps!
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
At this stage of my illness, I have to give up.
CHUNYU FEN:
How can you speak like this?
(To the previous tune)
In your fragile health,
You’d better lower the curtains.
Keep away from the wind
And I’ll burn the incense under the moon.
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
In dizziness,
The thread of my life
Is entrusted to my man.
(Enter the eldest son)
ELDEST SON:
Report! Report! Here comes the royal decree. Dad, as Mom is
ill, how is she to receive the decree?
CHUNYU FEN:
My son, support your mom and make a bow here!
ROYAL ENVOY:
Here is the royal decree. Kneel down and listen. The King of the State of Peaceful Locust decrees. Princess Yaofang and the Royal Son-in-Law Chunyu Fen have made meritorious deeds in Nanke for many years. You will be summoned to serve in the court as the Left Prime Minister. The position of Nanke magistrate will be transferred to Tian Zihua, Director for Farming Affairs. The above is the decree. Thank for the royal grace.
(All shout “Long live the king!” and rise to their feet)
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
Congratulations on your promotion to the position of the Prime Minister! The omen of the clear noise of the locust tree has come true.
CHUNYU FEN:
Thank you for your recommendation!
(The royal envoy kowtows)
CHUNYU FEN:
What is to do with Zhou Bian?
ROYAL ENVOY:
By the royal decree, for the sake of Your Highness, he is remitted from death and he is to atone for his crimes by meritorious deeds.
CHUNYU FEN:
It shows the benevolence of His Majesty. Please attend the banquet at the Huanghua Guesthouse!
ROYAL ENVOY:
“When the kings allots the offices,
The prime minister will soon return.”
(Exit)
CHUNYU FEN:
Princess, I’ve been staying here for years. Now that I am to leave, I shall handle some aftermath of the problems. Our children will go with you in advance, and we shall meet at the palace gate and greet His Majesty together.
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
I’ll follow your instructions. However, as we have been living in Nanke for twenty years, I can hardly tear myself away from it.
CHUNYU FEN:
Life itself is but a sojourn, let alone the official residence! Take good care of yourself! Get wine, son!
(Wine is presented)
(To the tune of Zhaoyin’er)
A cup of wine dispels her sorrow
In the small palace.
Son,
Take good care of your mom in the long journey!
Prepare proper food and drink,
And shun from cold and heat!
You are old enough to look after her.
ELDEST SON:
I’ll keep your instructions
And advice in mind.
I’ll take care of Mom
And tend to her needs.
Letters of peace
Will be sent to you.
ALL:
Blessed by the heaven,
The family will be in happy reunion,
Ready for the royal banquet.
(Enter the maid of honor)
MAID OF HONOR (Reports):
Your Ladyship and Your Highness, at the news of your return, the officials and civilians are waiting at the door.
PRINCESS GOLDEN BRANCH:
Maid, pass on my words! I am grateful to you for my twenty years of stay in Nanke. As I am returning in illness today, I can only requite you in my next life.