by Tang Xianzu
(Enter Envoy)
ENVOY:
An envoy in the capital
Is not an official of the lowest rank.
I’ve come back to report to you, Your Excellency.
YUWEN RONG:
Have you brought Miss Cui to the Royal Weaving Mill?
ENVOY:
Please listen to me.
(To the tune of Huangying’er)
Still pretty in her middle age,
She wept
When she heard of her detention.
She fainted when she heard the edict.
All her properties confiscated,
All her sons on the run,
She is a criminal under custody.
YUWEN RONG, ENVOY:
It’s easily done
That the foe is banished.
How happy we are!
YUWEN RONG:
As you are very capable, you’ll be rewarded for your merits. Put in file in the Ministry of Personnel.
ENVOY (Kowtows to show his gratitude):
Kill one and see him bleed;
Do a merit and do it well.
As we are of the same breed,
You do not have to tell.
Scene Twenty-Two
Sufferings on Exile
(Enter Highwayman A)
HIGHWAYMAN A:
With hairs on my face all my life,
I have been nicknamed “Ghost-Head Knife”.
I was born in Lianzhou and have been a highwayman as my life career. As I have nothing to do these days, I’ll call on my brother in Gumei Village to resume our business.
(Walks on)
Is my brother in?
(Enter Highwayman B)
HIGHWAYMAN B:
A loafer half my life,
I’m called “Shave-Up”.
HIGHWAYMAN A:
Why are you called “Shave-Up”?
HIGHWAYMAN B:
If I do not get anything when I say “Money or life”, I’ll just shave up his chin with a knife.
HIGHWAYMAN A:
Cool, cool! However, what shall we do now that we have got nothing all these days, brother?
(Tiger roar within)
HIGHWAYMAN B:
A tiger is coming. Let’s wait for the passers-by ahead.
Compared with tigers and wolves,
Men are even more cruel.
(Exeunt Highwaymen A and B)
(Enter Lu Sheng, carrying an umbrella)
LU SHENG:
Hard is the way;
Hard is the way.
Hard is not the hill;
Hard is not the rill.
Distinction in the morn
And death in the eve.
Hard is the way
That men grieve.
I, Lu Sheng, used to rank high in office for my meritorious deeds, but went on exile after a narrow escape from death without anyone daring to say a word for me. I begged all the way up to Tanzhou, where a former colleague of mine secretly gave me a servant-boy by the name of Trance, who carries the luggage for me. Now that I’ve passed Lianzhou and approached Guangdong, I have to go on at the risk of my life. Is the servant-boy strong enough to go on?
(Calls aloud)
Trance! Trance!
(Enter Trance, shouldering the luggage with a pole)
TRANCE:
I’m so tired. Will you carry the luggage for a while?
LU SHENG:
Will you carry the luggage for a little while more?
(Walks on)
(To the tune of Jiang’ershui)
I can hardly walk on any more,
In scenes not to be found in the capital,
On my way to Yazhou not conceivable in the Yumen Pass.
TRANCE:
A dark expanse of cloud is pending overhead.
LU SHENG:
Shut up! This is the head of noxious gas, called miasma.
(Sighs)
The dark clouds of miasma cover the sky.
Let’s move on, covering our mouths.
(Walks on)
Well, we’ve crossed the miasma.
TRANCE:
Another miasma is coming.
LU SHENG:
How can it be? How can it be?
I cannot rely on Heaven here;
I have survived in the north,
But will die in the south.
(Tiger roar within)
TRANCE (Weeps):
A tiger is coming. I cannot move a step any more.
LU SHENG:
Are you bewitched? Where’s the tiger?
TRANCE:
Don’t you see the tiger there?
(A tiger jumps onto the stage)
LU SHENG (Startled):
Oh heavens! Heavens!
(To the tune of Teteling)
Is it a mountain sprite or a wild cat?
It does look like a leopard.
As the ancient saying goes,
The knife does not kill an innocent man;
The tiger does not eat a fleshless man.
There’s no flesh on me.
TRANCE:
I am even thinner than you.
LU SHENG:
How can a bony scholar
Serve as a meal?
The tiger is more fierce
Than the hound that bites.
(The tiger jumps up)
LU SHENG:
It jumps without turning its head,
A sign of bad omen.
As the tiger usually makes three jumps before attacking, I’ll open my umbrella.
(Opens his umbrella, ready to fight with the tiger)
VOICE WITHIN:
Behave yourself, you beast!
(Exit the tiger, holding Trance in its mouth)
LU SHENG (Weeps):
Now that the tiger has carried away Trance, I have to go on all by myself.
(Walks on)
It so happens that the silk umbrellas in the imperial court have not sheltered me, but my tattered umbrella has. Those who have received favour from me in the court cannot save my life, but Trance has died in my stead. It seems that everything in the world is predestined.
(Enter Highwaymen A and B, carrying knives in their hands)
HIGHWAYMEN A AND B:
Where are you going, man?
LU SHENG (Frightened):
I’m going to Hainan.
HIGHWAYMAN B:
Leave your treasures! Leave your treasures!
LU SHENG:
What treasure can I have as a poor scholar?
(To the tune of Wugongyang)
With a raincoat and a wind-cap,
I’ve been expelled from the court.
HIGHWAYMAN A:
You must have treasures since you are from the court.
LU SHENG:
I used to have treasures,
But tigers and wolves have devoured them.
HIGHWAYMAN B:
Do you mean to say that the tiger has devoured your gold and silver? You’re asking for a beating! You’re asking for a beating!
(Beats Lu Sheng with the back of his knife)
LU SHENG:
Spare me! I’m a man with an intelligent mind.
HIGHWAYMAN B:
What’s the use of your intelligent mind?
LU SHENG:
I’m a man with meritorious deeds.
HIGHWAYMAN B:
What’s the use of your meritorious deeds? Leave your treasures!
LU SHENG (Sighs):
Alas,
You want nothing
But my gold and silver.
Who knows my intelligence?
Where shall I display my feats?
You heartless highwaymen!
HIGHWAYMAN B:
As you do not give me your treasure and calls me names, I’ll shave you up with my knife.
(Kills Lu Sheng)
(Lu Sheng feigns to be dead)
HIGHWAYMAN B:
You are predestined to die this way;
Next
year people will commemorate you today.
(Exeunt the highwaymen)
LU SHENG (Comes to life):
Oh, my neck is slanting aside. How is it that my neck is wet?
(Looks)
It’s blood! Someone has slipped his knife under my chin. Luck has it that he has not cut my throat. I’ll turn my neck to the right position.
(Turns his neck on tiptoe)
Oops! Oh, here’s the sea!
(Looks and feels the pain)
A boat is coming.
(Enter boatmen)
BOATMAN A:
Where comes the blood
That pollutes the sea wind?
I’ll save your life, man.
(The other boatmen refuse to let Lu Sheng embark the boat)
(Boatman A helps Lu Sheng embark the ship)
BOATMEN (To the tune of Yuzhazi):
Is it a black boat or a white boat?
The waves are pouring from the sky.
(Sound of wind within)
BOATMEN:
A hurricane is coming.
The strong wind breaks the mast,
As if looking for a needle in the sea.
The boat is like a floating leaf,
Carrying little hope with it.
LU SHENG:
Look, the green mountains are looming ahead. We’ll soon reach the shore.
BOATMAN A:
Alas, a huge whale is rising out of the water. The boat and the crew will perish.
BOATMEN (Weep):
(To the tune of Jiangshenzi)
The whale looks like a towering mountain;
What shall we do with it?
What shall we do with the whale?
Its eyes are as bright as pearls,
Staring at us all.
Where will its fins fall?
When it wavers its fins,
We can hardly keep alive.
(Sound of roaring waves within)
BOATMEN:
It’s too bad!
(The boat overturns)
(Exeunt the boatmen)
(Lu Sheng grasps at a plank and floats off stage)
(Reenter Lu Sheng, weeping)
LU SHENG:
Alas, gracious Heavenly Queen Mother! What’s the use of a plank?
(Sound of wind within)
Good luck! Gook luck! A gust of hurricane is coming. The shore lies ahead and I’ll jump on it.
(Jumps)
Thank heavens!
(Sound of roaring wind within)
LU SHENG (Holds his neck tightly):
Well, I’ll hold my neck tightly lest it be blown off.
(Sound of roaring wind within)
LU SHENG (Weeps):
What shall I do if my neck is blown off? I’ll lean against the stone pavilion and collapse.
(Falls)
(Enter ghosts, dancing in diverse manners)
(Enter the Heavenly Minister)
HEAVENLY MINISTER:
Behave yourselves, ghosts! Well, this man smells of blood.
(Looks)
His neck is hurt by a knife. Pull a lock of my whiskers to fill in his wound.
(The ghosts pull a lock of whiskers from the Heavenly Minister and fill in Lu Sheng’s wound, joking
to each other)
HEAVENLY MINISTER:
Listen to me now, Lu Sheng:
You’ll be Prime Minister for twenty years
After a thousand days in the Ghost Gate Pass.
(Exeunt the Heavenly Minister and the ghosts)
LU SHENG (Comes to senses):
Alas! I’ve seen so many ghosts! Someone filled in my wound with whiskers and said that I would be Prime Minister for twenty years after a thousand days in the Ghost Gate Pass.
Oh, a whisker is indeed growing on my chin.
(Enter two woodmen with black faces and dishevelled hair, carrying firewood on their shoulders
and singing)
WOODMEN:
Gather firewood, gather firewood,
A scholar-tree grows before the Ghost Terrace.
LU SHENG (Startled):
Yet two ghosts are coming!
WOODMEN:
Two Black Ghosts are coming.
LU SHENG:
I’ll be scared to death!
WOODMAN A:
We are natives here in Yazhou. We are called Black Ghosts because we have black complexions. I am a woodman.
LU SHENG:
Oh I see. Do you have ghosts here in broad daylight?
WOODMAN A:
Haven’t you read the gilded characters on the pavilion?
LU SHENG (Looks and reads):
Well, I’ve reached the Ghost Gate Pass. It seems that I can hardly survive.
WOODMAN A:
Who are you that have come here to court death?
LU SHENG:
I’m a meritorious minister of the Tang Dynasty on exile here.
WOODMAN A:
It’s said in Yazhou that high officials on exile here are not allowed to live either in government houses or in private houses.
LU SHENG:
How miserable I am!
WOODMAN A:
How pitiful! How pitiful! Come and live in my blockhouse.
LU SHENG:
What is a blockhouse?
WOODMAN A:
You know, there are about forty-eight thousand ghosts in the Ghost Gate Pass. When a hurricane comes, they come jumping around in the broad daylight. These ghosts are as short as three inches and the tallest are no more than a feet. We’ll be disturbed if we live on the plains. That’s why we have built wood fences on the cliff and sleep with four-virtue dogs at night.
LU SHENG:
What are four-virtue dogs?
WOODMAN A:
Their first virtue is to bite thieves; their second virtue is to bite beasts; their third virtue is to bite mice; their fourth virtue is to bite ghosts.
LU SHENG:
Well, well, I’ll have to sleep with the dogs. The problem is that I am wounded and cannot climb the cliff.
WOODMEN:
We’ll carry you up the cliff with ropes.
(Carry Lu Sheng with ropes)
(To the tune of Qingjiangyin)
The dog fence is a wonder,
Hard for us to build.
The cliff is steep and tall,
With thorns sharp and in good shape,
Climbing their way to the top.
(To the previous tune)
In a sedan carried by eight men,
We wind our way up the cliff.
With straw ropes around our waists,
We Black Ghosts jump and skip.
Is this the best a prime minister can enjoy?
After a narrow escape from death,
He is like a wren to heave a breath.
Although they are not of his kind,
They are the best he can find.
Scene Twenty-Three
Sufferings in the Weaving Mill
(Enter the Commissioner of the Weaving Mill)
COMMISSIONER OF THE WEAVING MILL:
If a man does nothing wrong,
He will ne’er be hated lifelong.
I used to be an envoy in the capital. As I did a good job in confiscating Lu’s family, I have been promoted to be the Commissioner of the Weaving Mill thanks to the favours of Prime Minister Yuwen Rong, who would like to further persecute the Lus. Lu’s wife is not good at weaving. Whenever her job is not done well, she will get a scolding. However, how can a small potato like the Commissioner of the Weaving Mill insult a First-Rank Lady?
(Thinks hard)
Yes, I’ve conceived a trick: when the eunuch in charge of weaving arrives, I’ll instigate him to insult her. For the moment, I’ll wait for him here.
(Enter the eunuch in charge of weaving)
EUNUCH:
As a ranking eunuch in the palace,
I’m in charge of supplies as well.
I am a eunuch in charge of weaving for the palace. I haven�
�t been to the Weaving Mill for several months. Where’s the Commissioner of the Weaving Mill?
COMMISSIONER OF THE WEAVING MILL (Greets the eunuch):
Welcome to the mill. I’ve got tea and dinner ready for you.
EUNUCH:
Have you heard of the good tidings for the imperial court?
COMMISSIONER OF THE WEAVING MILL:
No, I haven’t.
EUNUCH:
The Tubo Kingdom has surrendered and has brought ministers from sixteen states to pay tribute to His Majesty. As there are not enough satins to give them as gifts, I’ve come to speed up the weaving of satins. Are you smart enough?
COMMISSIONER OF THE WEAVING MILL:
Of course I am smart. The pity is that the Weaving Mill is short of money and I’ve got no cash to present to you.
EUNUCH (Annoyed):
You’ve got no cash to present to me? What a big potato you are!
COMMISSIONER OF THE WEAVING MILL:
May I venture to tell you that there is a handsome sum for you if only you dare to accept it?
EUNUCH:
What do you mean by “a handsome sum”?
COMMISSIONER OF THE WEAVING MILL:
As you haven’t been here for half a year, you don’t know that a weaving woman has arrived, who is the wife of Minister Lu Sheng. Lu Sheng had illicit relations with Tubo and amassed a lot of gems and pearls, all in the hands of his wife.
EUNUCH:
Do you expect her to offer the treasures at her own free will?
COMMISSIONER OF THE WEAVING MILL:
A horse won’t get fat if you do not hang it;
A man will not confess if you do not hang him.
She will offer treasures if you hang her up.
EUNUCH:
I am soft-hearted.
COMMISSIONER OF THE WEAVING MILL:
I’ll whisper in your ears as to what to do.
EUNUCH:
So it’s settled.
As a eunuch all my life,