Fit To Be Dead (An Aggie Mundeen Mystery Book 1)
Page 22
“How could you ever prove Linda murdered Charlie Livermore, given the combination of alcohol, fire and cyanide gas produced by burning seats?”
“We couldn’t. That’s why the ME deemed Charlie’s death accidental, even after an autopsy.”
“Would the ME find anything different now if he exhumed Charlie’s body?”
“No.”
“So there’s really no reason to tell Grace.”
“I guess there’s no reason.”
“I heard you accuse Linda Livermore of killing George Ball when he reneged on his and Grace’s plan to adopt Martha’s baby. Were you just fishing?”
“Not really. I think Linda did kill George Ball. I think she switched his pills after he nixed the adoption. I know he was excited about going hunting, but he wasn’t stupid. From what I learned about George, he would have carefully packed his pillbox. When he stayed up too late and drank too much, he got careless and didn’t check his pills. So Linda got her revenge.”
“She really is sick. How can I tell Grace her daughter is a serial poisoner?”
“You can’t. We can’t prove that Charlie Livermore’s or George Ball’s death were homicides. But we have a good chance of pinning Holly Holmgreen’s death on Linda. I think we can also prove Linda attempted to poison club members. SAPD is searching her San Antonio apartment and LA office. I’m sure they’ll find a trace of crushed mothballs and other poisonous substances marked with her fingerprints. They should also find physical evidence to tie her car to the one that hit Holly.”
“That’s bad enough. Poor Grace. We’ll keep it to ourselves? That Linda killed Grace’s two husbands?”
“We’ll keep it to ourselves. But you have to admit SAPD was right to be suspicious of the way Grace’s husbands kept dying.”
I looked at my lap and nodded.
“You know, Elmore Moseley is the best person Grace could have to comfort her,” he said.
“Why?”
“He’s worked in this business a long time. He understands, as much as anybody can, why some people feel compelled to commit murder. He’s comforted scores of victims’ families. He’ll know the best way to help Grace.”
“Grace is bound to find out he’s a veteran detective. The part about his snooping through the girls’ things and suspecting Grace—maybe we could keep that to ourselves too.”
“I think we can do that. I know Elmore will prefer to keep it quiet. He’s awfully fond of Grace.” He sighed. “I’ll try my best to comfort Harry Thorne.”
He gathered me in a hug. My emotions bounced from grieving for Grace and her daughter Kim to despising and pitying Linda Livermore; from feeling sorry for Holly and Ned and poor Harry, to loving Sam. I felt more wretched than a World War II refugee. I put my arms around his neck.
Had I really changed from the haphazard girl of eighteen he used to know? Steady and honorable, he deserved more than a girl like that. I was playful and curious, but I was pretty sure I’d managed to grow up. At least I recognized the differences in men. I’d learned to value qualities that mattered and to pray for guidance. I lifted my face to his and he kissed me.
People made mistakes. They suffered. They grew. Sam was just now learning to understand the pain women felt when they lost children, whatever the circumstances. For now, maybe that was enough.
He kissed me again before he eased me away.
“I have to go to headquarters. I need to make reports and question Linda about how she mashed and mixed mothballs to poison you and Holly. I have to make sure she didn’t concoct an additional little scheme, like stashing her brew all over the club. Why don’t I pick you up at seven?”
I smiled. “We won’t go to Tofu Temptations Grill?”
“No. Not to Tofu Temptations Grill.” He leaned over and kissed me, slower. Then he cupped my face in his hands. Before he got out of the car, he kissed me like he meant it.
When we walked up the sidewalk, Grace was standing on her porch. I crammed her aunt’s hat further down on my head. When she saw us, she doubled over laughing and went inside, holding her hand over her mouth so we wouldn’t hear. Before he followed her inside, Boffo barked and wagged his tail at me.
“I guess Grace wonders why I’m dressed like this.”
Sam winked at me, and I felt young. “I’ll see you at seven. I promise we won’t go to Tofu Temptations Grill or anywhere near the health club.”
He didn’t make promises very often. But I knew for certain that he kept the ones he made.
Thirty-Nine
I had a new, pressing reason to stay young. I decided to drag out old columns to find Dear Aggie’s best advice. I flipped through my file cabinet and checked categories: brain stimulation (chasing a killer took care of that), exercise (a fat file), diet (even fatter), workout clothes, hair products, skin products and makeup.
My brain had survived poison and accidents, I exercised regularly, and my diet had drastically improved once I learned to avoid Sheldon Snodgrass and Tofu Temptations Grill.
Since I had only a few hours before Sam picked me up, I decided to concentrate on skin, hair and makeup. I opened the skin file and grabbed a recent letter:
Dear Aggie,
Once I passed forty, my skin adopted a lusterless, close-to-ill look. I tried various make-ups brands, but they produced color blotches different from my natural hue, making me appear two-toned. I’m squeamish about facials. What do you recommend?
Pasty in Pittsburg
Dear Pasty,
I’m not big on massage products, but this one seems to work: handheld, battery-operated NuvoFace: “Massaged over face and neck, NuvoFace micro-currents lift and tone within minutes, reducing lines and wrinkles and lifting neck, brows and jowls.” The ad says to add Moisturizing Mist and Conductivity Cream, but I don’t recommend it. You might get startling results.
Pink, stimulated and happy,
Aggie
I had used NuvoFace. I shoved new batteries into the gadget and ran the device up and down my face and neck. In the bathroom, I retrieved my Abundant Hair Shampoo and Abundant Conditioner. Once my face was bright pink, I concentrated on reading hair product labels.
The shampoo would strengthen my new hair and add body to my old hair. The conditioner included vitamin B6, amino acids and botanicals (which I hoped didn’t include fertilizers). These products would increase my hair growth 125% in less than a month, making frequent haircuts mandatory. That was okay. I had time to get a haircut now that I wasn’t solving a murder.
I showered, shampooed and conditioned. When I re-checked my files for makeup tips. I found this:
Dear Aggie,
I have fairly uniform features—big eyes, straight nose—but my ribbon-thin fish lips make me look cynical and mean. This unfortunate feature scares dating prospects. Any ideas?
Frustrated in Fresno with Fish Lips
Dear FF with FL,
You’ve probably considered having plastic surgery to puff your lips. Aggie knows these things. Hold off. You’re in luck. Try LipPuff. You apply it at bedtime and awake with “plump, firm, hydrated, SEXY lips.” You’re advised not to eat, drink or talk for awhile because your lips will plump continuously for hours. (Product advertisers accept no responsibility.) You might alert your doctor in case something else swells. Allow a full day for LipPuff to work before you go out. Your date will find you more appealing if you’re able to speak.
Aggie
After writing FF with FL, I’d actually bought LipPuff and tried it. My lips puffed beautifully. I think my face also acquired a few bulges. It was hard to tell with my eyes swollen shut.
I’d had to write an alert and retraction for my Dear Aggie column. The newspaper was not happy since I took up space on a non-column day. They got a lot of reader reaction, though.
Sam was due in a couple of hours. My hair was fluffed and shining and my face was pink, either from NuvoFace or anticipation. I skipped the LipPuff. Sam had suffered enough trauma. Besides, I wanted everything to feel per
fectly natural in case he decided to kiss me again.
About the Author
Nancy G. West’s poem, “Time to Lie,” was featured by Theme and Variations and broadcast on NPR. For three years, she wrote Book Shelf, the book column for San Antonio Woman magazine as well as articles for other publications.
But a funny thing happened as she finished Nine Days to Evil, her award-winning novel of psychological suspense, Shakespeare, and nonstop-action. A supporting character, Aggie Mundeen, with her wry sense of humor, took over West’s consciousness and demanded that West write a book about her…or maybe a series. The result, Fit to Be Dead, was 2013 finalist for the Lefty Award for Best Humorous Mystery. Next came Dang Near Dead, and West is currently at work revealing Aggie’s third and fourth romantic mystery adventures. Aggie is pleased.
Don’t Miss the 2nd Book in the Series
DANG NEAR DEAD
Nancy G. West
An Aggie Mundeen Mystery (#2)
Aggie takes a vacation with Sam and Meredith at a Texas Hill Country dude ranch with plans to advise her column readers how to stay young and fresh in summer. Except for wranglers, dudes, heat, snakes and poison ivy, what could go wrong?
When an expert rider is thrown from a horse and lies in a coma, Aggie is convinced somebody caused the fall. Despite Sam’s warnings, Aggie is determined to expose the assailant. She concocts ingenious sleuthing methods that strain their dicey relationship as she probes secrets of the ranch and its inhabitants. After she scatters a hornet’s nest of cowboys, she discovers more than one hombre in the bunch would like to slit her throat.
Read all about it and/or grab the book from Amazon
CLICK FOR DANG NEAR DEAD
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Table of Contents
Praise for the Aggie Mundeen Mystery Series
Books in the Aggie Mundeen Mystery Series
Copyright Information
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirt
een
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine