I looked over at Angel. He was sleeping on his stomach with his good arm hugging the pillow. His muscles looked stronger this way. His back rippled with every muscle imaginable. His mouth was hanging open, and he would be the only person in the world who could make that look sexy.
This was the first time I’d woken up before him, so I watched him sleep. I turned on to my side and began to caress his cheek. By the second stroke his eyes opened slowly and he smiled at me.
This didn’t seem real; it had to be a dream. My knight in shining armor was really a guardian angel. I was waiting for his wings to magically appear. There’s a lot of goodness in him. I could feel sincerity running through his cool skin. What I didn’t understand why someone so beautiful like Angel would choose someone so normal and boring like me.
He blinked once bringing me back to the room. I touched his eyebrow and he said, “That’s going to leave a scar. This will be my first battle scar,” he said it with a slight attitude.
“Well, good morning to you too, Mr. Self-Centered. So that’s what was bothering you all day yesterday.”
He smiled and turned his body towards me. He wrapped his good arm around my waist and pulled me on top of him. I couldn’t imagine a better Heaven than to wake up every morning to someone as beautiful as Angel. He looked a little surprised. My cheeks turned red with embarrassment and I buried my face in his chest.
“I usually sleep only in my underwear at home. Whenever I wear pajamas I take them off in the middle of the night. I’ve had a few embarrassing moments at slumber parties.”
I felt Angel laugh silently and I brought my face back up. He combed my hair away from my face and I smiled at him. I began to trace the muscles in his chest then put my head on his chest and closed my eyes. He ran his fingers up and down my scarred back while I concentrated on his breathing. His heartbeat slowed down, and his rhythm mimicked mine. He wrapped his arm around my waist and became very still. I gently peeked at his face to see him sleeping again. I put my head back down and welcomed sleep for myself as well.
The nap was short. Angel woke up first thirty minutes later. I sat up; not realizing what it does to a man having a half-naked woman sitting on top of him. Embarrassed, I sat on the edge of the bed and Angel came behind me, kissing my neck and shoulders. He put his strong legs on either side of mine and wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and leaned back in to him. I breathed in his scent and recorded it in my memory. He was driving me absolutely insane.
Right when I was losing my mind he got up to shower. I sat there watching him go. I heard the shower run and I got up myself, removing my underclothes and throwing them on the floor. I found my white tank and threw it on the floor as well. I wrapped a towel around myself and went for the door. I never thought about whether he’d locked the bathroom door behind him. I turned the knob and opened the door. Today he hadn’t.
He didn’t hear me come in but I could see him moving behind the foggy shower door. I dropped the towel and stepped in the shower. His back was to me and he turned to face me in confusion. He looked like he was going to say something, but then he looked down at me. The water was steaming hot, I guess this was the way he liked it as well.
He just stood there looking down at me. My body was completely healed; just a few cuts and marks were visible, but the bites had left scars all over my body. I was pale with no suntan, which was a minus. But I was an average looking girl.
I had felt that sex was something special to be shared with someone who actually meant something to you, not some one-night stand with a stranger. But all that was destroyed. I had been destroyed in the worst possible way a woman could be. One of the kidnappers had raped me countless times.
I pushed those horrible images aside and picked up the bar of soap. Angel was still staring down at me when I said, “Let me get your back for you.”
He didn’t say anything; he just turned around and put his hands on the wall. I lathered the soap all over his back with shaky hands, I’m sure he was able to feel it. His shoulders were muscular, perfect. His waist was slim.
I was sure my experience had scarred me forever. I would never be able to live a normal life like before. I was terrified of men. I was terrified of any man who came close to me…except Angel. He’s like my God. I became obsessed.
When I was finished he turned around to face me again. I looked at his perfect body completely. He could control his body, I couldn’t. He took the soap from my hands and finished his washing. He stepped under the spray and rinsed with his eyes closed.
I just stood there, watching perfection do its task. He gave me the soap and I began to wash up. I stepped under the water and closed my eyes to let the steam wash away the shivers from seeing this man naked. When I reopened them, Angel was still looking down at me. He stepped towards me and put his hands on my waist.
He just looked down at me while the water sprayed on his back. He struggled with his emotions for a bit. His jaw clenched and he looked away, closing his eyes. Finally he reopened them and half smiled with sincerity, “I want you back home. I want you with me.”
I looked at him, a little confused. But, he bent over and kissed me before I could even ask what he meant. His kiss wasn’t soft and innocent. It was strong and demanding. A kiss that drugged me instantly. I brought my hands around his shoulders and pulled him closer to me. He hissed because of the pain and bit my lower lip hard at the same time. He pushed me against the wall and both of his hands were on either side of my face. But I wiggled closer to him like a lonely pet. He kissed me harder and my head was beginning to spin. He pressed his body against mine and I could tell that his control was over. Our bodies changed the temperature knob and the water became so cold that it snapped us back to reality. I jumped away as he shut the water off.
I stood there panting while he tried to regain his composure. But I wasn’t about to let that happen. I put my hands around his shoulders again and jumped up to wrap my legs around his waist. He groaned loudly with pain. He began to kiss me again, while he held me there with his good arm. He opened the shower door hard making it crash against the wall. We made it to the bed while still kissing and he threw me on the bed.
I fell with a thump and he began to caress my cheek. I closed my eyes and he kissed my eyelids. Everything he did to me drove me crazy. Angel was breathing hard on top of me. His body felt marvelous on top of me, but he was just too heavy. Just when I thought he couldn’t be more beautiful, he got up and brought me with him. He pulled up his briefs and knelt on the floor in front of me.
“We can’t do this now,” he said, taking both of my hands and kissing them gently. He looked up at me. His eyes were still wild, but his face was controlled.
“I know.” I wasn’t mad at him. I couldn’t be after the way he’d treated me. After the excitement I’d just felt with him. It left me wondering about what else he could do that would drive me to the edge like that.
“I want to always protect you, even when this nightmare is over.” He came up and kissed my cheeks, my shoulder, and my hands. “Don’t ever leave me,” he said in between kisses. He completely surprised me since he was drug-free and still talking about a future together. He looked over at the clock, 4:13pm. “We should really start leaving,” he whispered. I agreed. I got up and got dressed. I left my wet hair loose so I could let it air dry. I packed up all of our stuff while Angel prepared his guns and strapped them on his thighs. I walked over to him and kissed his shoulder, since it was level with my eyes. Once we were ready, we walked out of the room and made our way to the garage. There were several men moving back and forth. There was a black Hummer with the windows completely tinted.
Lieutenant Pierce emerged from the front seat of the car and smiled at us. “I see you guys are set to go. I hope you guys were able to rest enough. Do you need Sandra to look at your dressing before you leave?”
Angel looked over at me and I rolled my eyes. He laughed and turned back to the Lieutenant. “Thank you for you your help.
But I really need to finish this mission.” They both saluted each other and, without another word, we got into the truck and drove back to where it all began.
We were headed back to Afghanistan.
It was extremely hot that day, and even though Angel insisted on putting the windows up and the air on, I wanted to enjoy the heat. I wanted to frizz my hair. I wanted to remind myself of the humidity back home. After a few minutes of opening and closing the windows, I won. Angel left the windows down, mumbling something about how hot he was wearing all black. Even though I knew he didn’t mean it the way I was thinking, I couldn’t agree more.
I looked over at Angel, dressed all in black, his skin glowing white and his eyes radiating blue. I had to admit, he was completely beautiful.
I grabbed his hand and he kissed it gently. “How are you feeling?” I asked him.
“You know,” he looked over at me, “I’ve never before been shot or cut by anyone. But I feel okay.”
He looked at me and gave me a wide smile, demonstrating that his teeth were still white despite our way of living here in the Middle East. Now that he was more open with me, I could see how cocky he was. I thought it was all just an act.
I hesitantly asked, “What was it like going to war?”
His jaw tightened and then he gave me a tiny smile. “Joining the Navy was the best thing I ever did. I was treated like family. I graduated when I was eighteen. I began working toward becoming a SEAL when I left for California that same year. For everyone, the training is difficult, waking up before the sun rose and going to sleep at about midnight. It takes a toll on your body after a few weeks. But living in a foster home wasn’t that different. The training was easy for me as well. It distracted my mind completely. I proved that I had what it takes to be a SEAL and I became one when I was twenty-one. I served on a number of special ops missions in Iraq for two years, including the capture of a major terrorist group leader. When I came back to the US, I decided to go into retirement and work for a private company. I didn’t think it was difficult, but now I’m seeing otherwise.
“A Navy SEAL is someone who is physically, mentally, and emotionally fit for chaos. We show no emotion because that’s what we’re trained for. We are the best in the US, and possibly even the world. The reason I was shot yesterday was because I let that man provoke an emotional reaction from me. I’m supposed to defuse the problem before inspecting the damage. But I was too worried about you to even think about him still being conscious. And asking to fight him, that was just a bonus I couldn’t resist.”
Exactly what I’d thought, this was my entire fault. He let his guard down to protect me. I needed to help him out myself. I felt like I kept dragging him into a deeper hole every day. And he didn’t specifically answer my question, but I figured that war must be no different than the circumstances we were in now. I looked over at him. How could someone so beautiful be so dangerous for me?
I sighed and looked out the window while he kept taking us deeper down the rabbit hole. I didn’t understand why I’d agreed to go back. I knew my father was responsible for all of this. But I couldn’t remember all the details. Whenever I opened that locked door in my brain, it just led to another long hallway. It felt like my brain was protecting me from that answer, because I knew it would destroy me.
We stopped to eat and got right back on the road. I became mentally exhausted and fell asleep with my head on Angel’s shoulder. Somewhere along the line Angel gently lowered my head to rest in his lap.
Chapter 10
Angel drove all afternoon and night while I slept. He drove for sixteen hours straight. He would only make short stops, as if he wanted to get this finished. I spent most of the time lying on Angel’s thighs while he drove in silence. I memorized every single one of his tattoos, tracing them with my fingers as he drove.
His right arm was a beautiful collage of tattoos. It began with a beautiful red Hawaiian hibiscus on his wrist, large enough to wrap all the way around. Right above it, where the “Fuck the World” used to be, there was a huge black cross bleeding deep red blood down to the hibiscus. On the opposite side of the cross was a grim reaper, with his scythe raised, aiming straight at the black cross. I realized what this meant. The grim reaper was destroying the cross, that’s why there was blood dripping from it.
I asked him the meaning of this piece. He told me that no matter how hard his demons tried to destroy his conscience, they would never take over his soul, which was the meaning of the red hibiscus. It meant immortality to the Japanese and life to the Malayans.
“I’m not a good person Sam.”
I sat up. “Why do you keep saying that? You see yourself from the things you’ve done in the past. I see you for everything you’ve done for me now. So what, you kill people? They deserve it.”
He looked over at me, angry. “I don’t ever want to hear you talk so negatively. I know I kill people. I have to live with it. But you? You’re pure. You’re everything that I’ll never be. I’ll do all of this and more for you.”
Was he kidding me? Pure?
“And you’re a hero. You save people from their worst nightmares.” I touched his forearm and he turned to me slightly. “You’re my Angel.”
He jerked the car slightly, and then leaned over and kissed me so fiercely that I lost my breath completely. He broke the kiss for just a second, pulled the car over, and then continued to kiss me. I lay back and he followed, covering every inch of my body with his. I was helpless when he kissed me. I was at his mercy.
He broke the kiss and I immediately felt lonely. “I’m not an angel, Samantha. I’m not good for you…”
I put my finger on his lips and stopped him. “We’re on our way to prove that my father is a terrorist himself. He’s possibly the reason why all this happened to me. And you’re saying you’re not good for me? Baby, nobody is perfect for each other, but you are everything to me.”
He closed his eyes and I saw him struggling with a few emotions. But when he opened them again, I saw something that startled me. I saw love. And it made me so happy that a tear escaped my eyes. He didn’t know what it was though. I could see him struggling with this new emotion that he had never experienced before.
With a shaky voice I said, “Please don’t shut down on me now. Please. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Just give me time. This is something I’m use to doing, so just give me some space.”
He pulled off me, and even though it was ninety degrees outside, I felt cold. I wasn’t angry or upset with him, but I felt lonely again. Icy. He turned back to the road and we continued on our way.
“Have you ever dated a girl?”
He peeked at me for a second, took a deep breath, and then let it go. “I have never had a girlfriend in my life. I realized how charming I could be right after the orphanage. Women saw that too, and they would pay me to spend time with them. Some paid me for sex.” He looked over at me, but I kept my face expressionless. “After the military, I just casually dated women. And by casually dated, I mean just strictly sex. I don’t know the first thing about a relationship.”
He was stiff next to me, as if I would look at him in disgust or if I would start crying. “Angel, I told you I would look at your present, never your past.”
I saw him relax a little while I grabbed his arm and continued to inspect his tattoos. Above his elbows, it became more positive. Right above his elbows were a few red demons with their arms in the air. Above them were angels, dozens of them, shooting arrows at the demons. It was a battle of the gods happening in the middle of the sky. His large shoulder was the bright sun, making me smile.
“Your tattoos are beautiful. They tell a story about you.”
He looked down at me and kissed my forehead before looking back at the road. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder again.
I didn’t want to look out. I didn’t want to look at the place that I’d thought I would never see again. Every few hours, I would go to my side of the seat and remin
isce on my life back home. Sometimes I would cry on Angel’s shoulder. I wondered how my life would be once I returned to my normal routine.
What made me think I would have a normal life again?
Around noon the next day, Angel pulled into a rundown motel in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. I waited in the Hummer while he went inside to fetch our room key. The place was horrendous. Or maybe it was just my mood. But I could tell that we were getting close because of the way the city looked. We were on the border of Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan, and my body was already telling me that I was making it to the place that began all of my worst nightmares.
Angel returned to the Hummer with a bag in his hand. He drove around the small motel until he found our room number. He parked in a corner where the trees partially covered the Hummer and got out of the car. I quietly followed him and looked around as he got the duffle bag.
Uzbekistan was weird. There were men standing outside their doors, smoking a cigarette. Most of them were staring in our direction. Not in a curious or nosy way. But in a way that made you feel like you were being spied on. Most of them looked like they were ready to make a phone call as soon as we entered our room. After all, Angel was clearly an American with enough ammunition to start War World III on his own. I looked at the brown motel in shock. The motel was very run down like a lot of the ones in America. This motel was in the poorer place of the city. There were single doors with numbers on them, and only one window that followed each door. There were prostitutes hanging around the area. Some were eyeing Angel curiously. Finally, one of them got the courage to come over and talk to him while he gathered our things out of the truck.
She came closer. Maybe she was beautiful underneath her short black wig and extravagant makeup. Most of her body was exposed with her short black dress, and her breasts were an inch away from becoming exposed. She took a puff from her cigarette before she threw it on the floor. She traced her long red fingernail on Angel’s back as her blue eyes roamed around his body. I couldn’t move or feel jealous. I just watched in astonishment at how she had Angel’s complete attention with that one touch. He turned around curiously. His eyes traced her body completely.
My Sweet Escape: A Touched by an Angel Novel Page 11