by S. J. Rozan
“I know, you.”
“Me?” He shook his head, trying to clear it. “No, see, a thing you gotta understand.” He spoke clumsily, using his tongue the way you would an unfamiliar tool. “You gotta understand. I hate that motherfucker.”
“You hate me, too, and so does he.”
“Because you’re another motherfucker. That don’t make him, doesn’t make him not one.” He nodded, satisfied with how he’d explained things.
“You were at Jim’s apartment. You set the explosion off.”
“Explosion. Boom!” The bartender, Linus, and the regulars turned to look, but when Hal went on in a softer, slurred voice, no one moved our way. “Saw you. Yelled at you. You didn’t hear me.”
Yes, I realized, I had. My name, someone calling my name just before the blast.
“Called in a ten-thirty-three, a ten-fifty-four. Told the super, move people away from the building. Asshole was crapping his pants.” As Hal went on jerkily detailing his actions after the explosion, Linus came back and sat down.
“Crazy Man wasn’t here. Bartender says. Dude’s been drinking by himself all afternoon.”
“Doesn’t mean he didn’t call. Hal! Hal, shut up!”
Hal was muttering disjointedly about an EMS tech. He stopped, looked at me, blinking.
“Give me your phone.”
He didn’t move. I reached across the table, searched his coat pockets.
“Hey, what the—?” He watched me flip his cell phone open, but didn’t try to reach for it. I realized I had no idea how the thing worked, so I passed it to Linus.
“Check incoming and outgoing.”
Linus poked some buttons, then some more. “Dude.” He shook his head. “In, a restricted number, must be Mr. Crazy, but just the one call. Around when we went up to Harlem, so must be the one with the song lyrics. And a couple from you, before and after. Nothing else from the restricted number, and nothing out.”
“Nothing? Kevin said he just talked to his assistant.”
“Well, not on this phone. And he wasn’t here.”
Hal had been trying to follow this, swiveling his head between us, always a few seconds behind. “That’s my phone.”
“Where’s the other one?”
“Other what?”
“Stand up.”
Linus slid out but Hal didn’t move. I went around and grabbed him, tugged him out of the booth. It was like manhandling a mattress. I pushed him against the wall, started going through his pockets.
“Hey!” the bartender came around the bar gripping a baseball bat. “I told you, not in here!”
I shoved Hal back to his seat. “Ex-cop,” I said. “In this condition I didn’t want him carrying a piece.”
The bartender frowned. “Is he?”
“Carrying? No.”
“You on the Job?”
I shook my head. “I’m private. Old friend. He has a problem, I’m here to help. Listen, did he talk to anyone here? Did he use your phone?”
He shook his head. “Couple cell phone calls, like I told the kid. Been sitting there drowning his troubles, hours now. Not sure he even got up to piss. Only guy here he talked to’s me, when he wanted another. I was about to cut him off, before you came.”
“Okay,” I said. “Thanks. Won’t be any more excitement.”
He hefted the bat, gave it a look that was almost wistful. “Okay.” He walked off.
I sat down again, said to Linus, “No other phone.” Turning to Hal: “When you talked to Kevin, where was he?”
“Kevin. Lay down your six-gun, it’s coming. I don’t know where he was,” he added mournfully.
“What did he say to you?”
He raised his arm, tried to signal the bartender. I pressed his hand down to the table. “What did he say?”
“Six-gun. Broken dream. Stupid shit.”
“After that. When you talked to him after that, what did he say?”
“After that, when?”
“Hal—”
“Dude.” Linus interrupted me. “Dude, it’s not happening. It’s not him.”
I stared at Linus, at Hal. I released my hold on Hal’s arm, sat back against the booth. “No,” I finally admitted. “You’re right. Goddammit. It’s not him.” You might think that would make me feel warmer toward Hal. Sympathetic, even contrite. Looking at him slumped in his seat, his brain soaked in booze and his eyes seeing nothing, what I felt was a strong urge to smash his doughy face.
“Come on,” I said to Linus. I stood, needing movement.
Linus stood up, too, and Hal watched us as though this standing thing were new to him and he didn’t get it at all. He raised his glassy eyes to mine. “She shouldn’t have told him.”
“What?”
“The pretty girl. She didn’t want to go with Kevin. She shouldn’t have told him.”
I was ready to walk out, leave Hal to replay the past as many times as he wanted, but Linus asked, “Told him what? She shouldn’t have told him she didn’t want to go?”
Hal stared at Linus. “Saving herself for marriage. She shouldn’t have told him that.” He shifted his eyes to me. “Got him going. Always. Virgins, you know? Their maiden voyage. He always said, he liked to take them on their maiden voyage.” He shook his head, moved a sloppy hand around reaching for something, maybe his glass, but it wasn’t there. “She didn’t want to go.”
When I pulled the front door open the bartender yelled, “Hey! You said you were taking him with you!”
“I said, when he could walk,” I answered. “My guess, day after tomorrow.”
22
I didn’t want to get back in the car. Being confined, forced to sit still, not even distracted by doing the driving—it sounded like hell. But no, hell was wherever Lydia was.
“Wasn’t him,” Linus reported, edging Woof off the backseat. Linus and I slammed our doors and Joey pulled out.
Trella frowned. “You’re sure? He’s not just a convincing liar?”
Ming said, “You want me to go in and make double sure?”
“No fucking way!” I snapped.
Linus threw me a glance, and then said to Ming, “Uh, thanks, but I don’t think so, dude. We checked his phone and we talked to the bartender. Besides, you should see him. I don’t think a guy that wasted could get it together to lie.”
“In vino veritas,” said Joey.
“What?”
“What you said. Truth is in the wine.”
We chewed on it for a while, who the assistant could be. It gave us a way to pretend we had steps to take, something positive to do beyond drifting around downtown mapping areaway windows and waiting for my phone to ring.
“The ex,” Linus said. “Megan Beer Stine.”
“You didn’t see her,” Trella said. “She wouldn’t help a baby bird find its mother. And especially, she hates Kevin. What would be in it for her?”
“A friend he used to know,” was Ming’s idea. “Who stuck with him, whatever.”
“Chinese kind of answer,” Linus acknowledged. “Dude?”
“He never had a lot of close friends that I know about,” I said. “Maybe Jim White, only he killed him.”
“What about Nicole?” asked Linus. “Pretending she didn’t know anything?”
“You saw her. That was one hell of a performance, if it was fake.” I was trying to stay patient. “And if they were working together why would he have needed the camera there?”
“Nah,” said Joey. “It’s someone from inside.”
I nodded. “That’s what I’ve been thinking.”
“This Kevin asshole, he’s flush?”
“Probably. He was when he went away. He couldn’t touch it while he was in, so no reason it wouldn’t be waiting for him.”
“So I bet he hooked up with some guy he met inside. Cellmate or something.”
“He was in ten years,” I said. “According to him, four different places. That’s a hell of a lot of guys.”
“Aunt Mary could tra
ce them,” Linus said. “Could start, anyway.”
“And finish next week.” But it wasn’t a bad idea. Or maybe it was, but bad ideas look better when you’re desperate. “Joey,” I said. “Borrow your phone?”
“Whose phone is this?” Mary asked when she knew it was me. “Ready to come in?”
“No. Listen. Kevin has help. We think it’s someone from inside.”
“Who’s we? You still have Linus with you?”
I could have kicked myself. “No, and that’s all I’m saying. Can you track down Kevin’s prison buds?”
“How do you know he has help?”
“He said.”
“Why are you giving it to me? Why not do it yourself, Lone Ranger?”
“You know I can’t.”
“What if I find him, the helper, and he gives Kevin up? And we find Lydia and everything you’ve done turns out to be one big, dangerous mistake?”
“He won’t give Kevin up. Kevin won’t have told him enough. But it’ll jam Kevin’s gears. He’ll have to improvise. Maybe he’ll make bigger mistakes than mine.”
We didn’t speak much more as we drove around downtown, checking on the basements and areaways Trella had identified, finding others that might be likely. It was hopeless, doing it this way, but I had no other ideas. We kicked around the new clues a little, but no one came up with a breakthrough.
And as much as my phone was what we were all waiting for, we all jumped when it finally rang.
“Smith,” I said, flipping it open, as though this were just any phone call. I put it on speaker and held it so everyone could hear.
“Oh, no shit? Damn, and I meant to call the White House!” Kevin sounded better: a little less wild and a lot more cheerful. I wondered if that was good or bad. “Hey,” he said. “No ‘Hi there, what’s shakin’, how you doing?’ Aren’t you happy to hear from me?”
“No.”
“Oh. You want me to hang up?”
“I want you to tell me what comes next so we can finish this.”
“Yo, what’s up with you, Grandpa? You were a hell of a competitor, back in the day. Always up for a game. You turned into a couch potato while I was away? I guess that’s what happens when you get old.”
I didn’t say a word.
“Well, lucky for you, this is almost the last time.”
“The last time for what?”
“Almost the last time. For me to call you. Happy now?”
“You know when I’ll be happy.”
“Maybe never. Now listen close. Your mistake, Mighty Prince Asshole, was, you missed the whole point of the game.”
“What does that mean?”
“You thought it was all about you. You, and your girlfriend. But that was only half. And you never figured that out, did you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know you don’t! That’s what I’m saying! I’m talking about the other prize, that’s what I’m talking about.”
“What other prize?”
“Oh, I’m not going to tell you. The one I get to keep.”
“You’ll have to spell it out,” I said. “I’m not following.”
“I know. And I’m lovin’ it. Now, here’s what happened: I moved it, the second prize. I took it somewhere else. Actually, it’s not second prize. It’s first prize. And it’s mine.”
“Okay, Kevin,” I said calmly. “You moved the other prize, and it’s yours. What am I doing?”
“Yeah, it’s mine, and it’s first prize,” he repeated. “Should’ve been mine, now it is mine. Your girlfriend, she’s second prize. Actually, between you and me, she’s not much of a prize at all, is she? Got an attitude, I don’t like that. If you never find her, well, I wouldn’t worry too much. Genius hero like you, you can do better, that’s for sure. Even at your age, probably.”
“Kevin?” My voice rasped; I brought it under control, measured each word. “The final clue. You’re calling with the final clue, right?”
“Oh, so wrong. No final clue.”
“What the hell do you mean? These three, you said they weren’t complete. You said I needed the final clue.”
“Well, yeah, I did say that. But that was before I found out what a lying cheating sack of shit you are! So I changed my mind, good buddy. No more clues.”
“But then—”
“But then what?” he interrupted, suddenly loud and fast. “But then you’re stuck, right? You hit the wall, you’re screwed, you don’t know what to do next? That what you mean? Like if I hang up now, poof, it’s all over, the whole thing, the whole game, everything? Over? That what you’re worried about? I’ll bet you are! And you ought to be. Because check it out! Here I go!”
I yelled, “Kevin!” but it was too late. He was gone.
I went cold to my core. Over? No. No. Impossible. To end like this, out of nowhere? Lydia! No.
The phone rang again.
“What?”
“That was pretty good, right?” Kevin cackled through the car. “Did you like that?”
“No,” I said, in a voice that didn’t sound like my own.
“No? Really not? Shit, I thought it was great! Make you nervous, just a little?”
“Yes.”
“More than a little?”
“Yes.”
“A lot?”
“Yes!”
“Wow, he’s yelling! Don’t tell me your game face is slipping, bro. Gotta keep that game face, keep your cool. You gonna do that for ol’ Kev? You gonna try?”
He was racing. He must have done a line between calls. I breathed deep. “Why, Kevin? If we’re stopping the game?”
“We’re not stopping. Who said stopping?”
“You said no more clues.”
“That’s not the same as stopping. I mean, I already won and you’re the big fat loser, because I already have first prize and even if you find your girlfriend, which I doubt if you can do but even if, that’s still only second prize. But if you try to keep that game face, I’ll think about going on. You gonna try?”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, I’ll try.”
“Atta boy. So I guess you still want to find her, your stuck-up girlfriend?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck knows why. But okay. Yeah, I guess okay. We’ll keep playing. There, that made your day, right?”
“Yes.”
“And making your day, you know that’s what I’m here for. Well, it’s fine with me. I mean, this’s been fun, I’ll give you that. So, you ready? Oh, don’t answer me, I know you’re ready, you’re Ready Freddy. Now, the game’s still on, but I changed some stuff. Because, you know, of that cheating thing you did. That okay with you?”
“None of this is okay with me, Kevin.”
“Oh! I thought you wanted to keep playing. You want to stop? I could hang up for real this time.”
“What I want is to have it out, face to face, you and me.”
“Not happening. Two choices: go on, or hang up. Up to you.”
“Go on.”
“You sure?”
“Goddamn it—!”
“Tsk, tsk. What did I say about keeping cool?”
“Yes,” I said through gritted teeth
“Don’t you think you should apologize?”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not!” He cracked up. “You’re steaming! Old guy like you, you want to watch that. Blood pressure, you could stroke out! Now, should I tell you what to do next? You want to hear?”
“Yes.”
“Yes. Nice and calm, see how easy it is? Well, right now, right now, Prince Asshole, your girlfriend’s waiting for you, watching the clock, all by herself, back where I left her, and what you do is—nothing!”
Lydia alone, Kevin somewhere else? I glanced at Linus and Trella. “What the hell does that mean, nothing?”
“Hard word for you? What I said! Nothing! You sit there and do fucking goddamn nothing while I take
a walk.”
“A walk?” On the street, in the open?”
“Yeah, time for me to check out this great city, pal. Drink it in one last time, make some memories. Because when this game’s over, I’m blowing this hellhole and I’m not coming back. Taking what should’ve been mine and it’s mine now, starting a new life. A real life. The life I should’ve had, that you stole from me. Prince Asshole.”
Steadily, I asked, “How do we finish the game?”
“Now that’s a great question. Overtime, see, it’s gonna be fun! When I get back to where your girlfriend is, her and me, we’re gonna party.”
“You—”
“Don’t start that shit. As long as you keep playing, I’m a gentleman, I don’t touch her, that what you were about to remind me? Hey, but you cheated! You cheated, not me! So now the rules changed! You don’t like it, you shoulda thought of that! So here’s what’s gonna happen. Her and me, we’re gonna party. And you’re gonna watch.”
The icy cold returned, flooding me. “The hell I am, Kevin. I’m going to kill you.”
“You’re gonna watch, and I’m gonna know you’re watching, because I’m gonna talk to you every now and then and you’re gonna answer. You’re gonna tell me what you’re seeing.”
A few deep breaths, then, “All right. Tell me where to go.” To watch I’d have to be there. If I was there—
“No, Grandpa.” As though Kevin were reading my mind. “You just find yourself a computer. I have a webcam where your girlfriend is. You know what that is, a webcam? Just like I had at Jim and Nicole’s. You know?”
I looked to Linus. Eyes wide, he nodded, and I said, “I know.”
“Great. So go settle in your rocking chair and wait for me to call. That’ll be the last call. I know you like that, right? Here’s how it’s gonna go: If you watch, and talk to me, and I’m happy about the whole thing, then when we’re done I’ll tell you where she is. She’ll be kinda tired, worn out, you know? Maybe a little sore. But really, pretty much okay. Then you can go rescue her. Won’t that be great?”
“No. I’m not doing this, Kevin.”
“Well, up to you. But if you don’t, her and me, we’re gonna party anyway. And then I’ll just split. Take first prize here and leave town. And you’ll never know where she is and she’s gonna die. That better? What, you have nothing to say? Is that better? Asshole?”