“No, Jake if I sink or swim it will be by my own doing and no one else.”
“Defiant to the bitter end. It that it.” He replied.
“It’s important that I do this myself.”
“You don’t have to do everything by yourself. Life isn’t a one-person sport it’s a team effort.”
“I just….” She sighed.
“It’s not a sign of weakness to lean on someone else.”
“Yes, it is.” She told him adamantly.
“We all need someone else to be strong for us occasionally Mandy.”
“I’ve learnt to rely on just me.” She shrugged.
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes. I do.”
“I can take on a little of the burden, I wish you would let me.”
“Jake, please.”
“I have very broad shoulders.” Amanda looked at his very broad shoulders. Yes, he did and it would be nice to lean on him for support but that would make her weak.
She looked up into his face, he was smiling at her. His features relaxed. He looked younger like this. The lines around his eyes softer.
The waitress came back then to take their order and when she had gone Jake changed the subject. Which, was fine with her. She had a feeling that it would end up in an argument and she didn’t want that.
They talked through dinner about lots of different things. Jake talked about his ideas for expanding the company further. Amanda listened finding herself interested.
Jake had worked hard to save it, she discovered. She also discovered just how bad a situation her father had been in when Jake had taken over. She had not realised that things had been so dire.
When Jake had taken over the business, it had been at the point of bankruptcy, the house she had grown up in had been close to being repossessed by the bank. Her father had been about to lose everything.
Ten years on and Michelson Industries traded globally and Jake, she discovered, was now a multi-millionaire.
“And yet you still choose to live here. In the back of beyond.” Amanda teased him as they sat drinking their glass of wine.
“I guess I am a country boy at heart. Besides the company is based here.” He shrugged a shoulder.
“You could move to bigger offices. Go to London.” She suggested.
“No, I like the company as it is. We have done well with the formula so far. And, as Dad would say…” he looked expectantly at her and she smiled.
“If it ain’t broke.” She said, it had been one of her father’s favourite sayings.
“Don’t fix it.” Jake finished for her. “Have you finished?” he asked and she nodded. Jake paid for their meal and then with a hand on her arm he ushered her out into the afternoon sun.
They walked slowly back to her home, Jake had walked to the pub, she had discovered. It was a nice warm day for a walk. They strolled hand in hand, chatting and laughing as they went, in no particular hurry to arrive anywhere.
It was nice, Amanda had enjoyed herself. In fact, the whole weekend had been nice. She did not want it to end. She even felt that she belonged. Something she had not felt in a long time. It felt nice. All too soon they arrived at her front gate.
“Well this is me.” She announced.
“What are you going to do with the rest of the day?” Jake asked her.
“I’m not sure. I will find something to do.”
“Did you want to go somewhere?” did she? Go somewhere with Jake? Spend more time with him? Silly question, yes of course she wanted to. But… she also did not want to encourage spending too much time with him.
This weekend, things had dramatically changed between them. And she was painfully aware of that.
“I umm.” She walked up the path to the front door and removed her key from her bag. “I enjoyed myself today.” She told him.
“What no invitation for coffee?” her heart beat faster and she could hear blood pounding in her ears.
“Jake, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She spoke quietly.
“Why, don’t you have decent coffee?” he asked and she giggled as she unlocked the door.
“No.”
“Are you worried that it might not be just the coffee I am after.” Truthfully that wasn’t it.
“No.”
“So then.”
“I’m frightened I will want more than just coffee.” She blurted out before she could stop herself.
She felt her cheeks grow red hot and she turned her face from him in mortification as she heard him laugh.
“One cup. I promise and then I will leave you all alone.” She felt depressed at the idea of being alone without Jake.
“Do you promise?”
“Scout’s honour.” He told her.
“Haven’t I already pointed out that you were never a scout?” She stepped over the threshold of her front door and stepped inside into the hallway.
She removed her bag and popped it on the hook as she heard Jake close the front door and she turned to go into the kitchen.
She cried out as she was suddenly turned round and she found herself up against Jake. His lips were on hers before she had time to draw breath.
His lips searched hers hungrily. She matched him, the moment she felt the electric contact on her own lips she knew that there was no way she could fight it.
Jake’s lips travelled across her cheeks, to her earlobe. Amanda gasped as he drew the lobe into his mouth. “Jake, you promised.” She managed to get out in a voice that sounded foreign to her own ears.
“I had my fingers crossed.” He told her as he started a trail down the column of her throat.
“Jake.” She moaned his name. Jake’s hand eased her cardigan off of one shoulder and his mouth kissed and tasted her skin.
“You are so perfect.” He told her hoarsely. She felt his fingers on the strip of material that held her top wrapped around her.
Her top came loose. Jake pushed the material out of the way exposing her bare breasts to his touch. He lowered his head kissing across the rounded swell and then he took one rosy nipple inside his mouth. She moaned her pleasure. Her fingers going into his hair. She threw back her head as she arched her back to allow Jake better access.
She felt his tongue scrape across the taut nipple in his mouth, felt his teeth scraping the sensitive skin.
“Jake please.” She murmured.
“Please what?” Jake asked her. She felt a hand on the back of her leg slowly tracing its way upward to the round firmness of her bottom. His fingers dipping between, skimming across the material.
“Don’t… do… this…” She said shakily. His hand came round to the front and she felt his fingers rubbing over her.
“That’s not the words I want to hear.” He said. She could feel the delicious warmth spreading out from the sensitive area that Jake was rubbing. “Say what I want to hear.” He demanded.
“Jake this is not fair.” She complained. His fingers became firmer.
“All’s fair in love and war.” He informed her, not stopping his assault on her. With his mouth or his hand.
“You… promised…” she was finding it difficult to speak. Already her muscles where beginning to tighten. It wouldn’t be long she knew.
“I know. But you are so damned irresistible. I just can’t help myself.” The wave began to build.
“Jake.” Her voice sounded so breathless, husky and deep.
“Tell me how much you want me.” He demanded hotly.
“You know I do.” She told him truthfully. The point of denying it was useless.
“Tell me you love me.”
“I lo…” she stiffened. She had just been about to tell Jake that she loved him. She needed to be careful. She was in danger of losing herself, of losing the battle.
Her body began the climb. She held her breath, this was it. She felt Jake’s arm tighten around her as he held her close as she exploded against him. Her whole body shuddering. Her breathing haggard as she clung to him as her
knees gave way beneath her.
“You know you want to say it. You know you feel it.” His lips ran a torturous path back up the column of her throat.
“Jake.” This was madness. This was insane. This was heaven.
“Mandy you are a very stubborn woman. Do you know that?” Yes she did
“Jake, please.” She begged him.
“I love the way you say my name.” He rasped against her skin. “I love the feel of your skin. The way you smile, the way you kiss. The way you moan. The way you stop breathing and become still just before you come. I love the feel of that. The way it feels against my fingers. The way it feels when you are wrapped around me.”
His words were slowly undoing her. She could feel herself floating away as liquid warmth invaded her limbs. Making her feel nothing more than a rag doll in his arms. In his arms she felt safe as though nothing could hurt her. “Nothing can hurt you.” He told her, he was reading her mind again. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.” He kissed her chin, her cheek and then finally back to her already kiss swollen mouth.
The two of them jumped as the telephone peeled loudly, interrupting the moment. Amanda felt as though someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water on her.
Reality seeped into her passion drugged mind quickly. What had she been doing again? How did she keep managing that?
She stepped back and stared up into Jake’s eyes. She could see the raw hunger in them. The animal passion simmering. But, it did not frighten her, instead she found that it excited her. It made her feel powerful.
“I should… answer that.” She told him but still she did not move.
“Leave it.” He ordered thickly and put out a hand toward her.
“I… should get it.” She repeated and this time her voice was firmer, stronger. She stepped back again. Grabbing at her top and holding it around herself to cover her breasts.
She turned away from Jake, from that look on his face. From those piercing eyes that saw so much, too much. And she stepped toward the telephone still persistently ringing. With a shaky hand she reached out and picked up the receiver.
“H-hello.” Her voice sounded shaky and weak, she could still hear the passion in it. Behind her she heard Jake swear and his clothing rustled.
“Hey boss.” It was Harry.
“Har –” she stopped herself just in time. Remembering Jake was standing just inches from her.
“A-Alan, what’s up?” She felt Jake stiffen and the air around them grew frosty instantly. Amanda felt her heart lurch painfully in her chest. How could one word change everything so dramatically, she felt the need to cry but she held it together.
“Jake is with you.” Thank God Harry was quick.
“Aah, that would be a yes.” She told him shakily.
“Sorry to have disturbed you then. It sounds like I interrupted… something.” Harry said. She was going to kill him, she decided.
“No-no. You didn’t.”
“Are you sure? You sound a little… breathy.” Harry told her.
“No, nothing it’s okay.” She said.
“It could have waited. I’m sorry”
“No Har- Alan. It’s fine really.”
“If you are sure I didn’t disturb… something.” He said again. Amanda closed her eyes briefly.
“No you did not.” She said firmly.
“So would you like to know why I am calling?” He asked her.
“Yes please.” She said, her voice taking on a warning tone.
“Are you sure you want to know.”
“I am very sure.”
“How sure are you?”
“Har… Alan, dear. Why don’t you just tell me.”
“Okay, I’ll take pity on you. You sound like there’s something else you would rather be doing.” Harry goaded. She was definitely going to kill him.
“I told you, there isn’t.”
“Of course not. That’s why your voice sounds like that.” Harry pointed out. “Anyway, Marsha wanted to remind you of that meeting first thing in the morning. She was worried that you would forget and come straight to the office and miss the appointment.” Amanda wracked her brain, trying to think what meeting she had set up. She heard the rustle of paper at Harrys end. “Here it is. Guy Constantine.” Now she remembered.
“Yes, that’s right.” She said. She had set the appointment up months ago. She had forgotten all about that.
“You are meeting him in the breakfast room of his hotel. The Ariel.” Harry whistled. “That’s very upmarket.”
“Thanks for reminding me Alan.” She said.
“That’s okay. Darling. I am glad I could help.” He said. Amanda gripped the receiver tightly, imagining it was Harry’s neck. “And sorry for interrupting your… not something.” He added.
“Bye then.” She said firmly, working hard not to lose her temper with him.
“Bye.” He said. But then she remembered Jake and so she said.
“I-I l-love you.”
“Gee shucks. You’ve made me blush now. I luv you too pudding face.” She was definitely going to kill him. Very slowly and painfully. She replaced the receiver back in its cradle.
“So, where is the delightful Alan?” Jake asked harshly, the passion from his voice was gone and it was replaced with the harshness of anger. Amanda shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself for comfort.
“Out of town.”
“Where. Out of town?” Jake asked her.
“Don’t worry Jake he will be back in time for dinner.” She assured him stiffly.
“I wasn’t worried.” He bit the words out as if they were causing him physical pain.
“I don’t know what your problem is with Alan.” She said.
“Don’t even get me started.” She felt him take a step closer to her. “Mandy now is the time.” He ordered.
“For what.” She turned to face him. Though, she regretted that instantly. She did not feel quite so brave as she looked up into his angry face.
“You know what.” He told her quietly.
“I. It’s. You…”
“If you have something to say now would be the time.” Jake coaxed.
“I have no idea what you are on about.”
“Yes you do.”
“Jake please, stop.”
“Mandy.” His voice dropped. “Please, stop.”
“I have nothing to say.” She told him resolutely.
“Mandy I keep throwing you the life line. I keep letting you know. Still you are not listening. End this.”
“End what?” She played dumb. The truth was it was difficult to say it. She knew Jake would be angry with her for the lies.
“Once it’s done it’s done. You will feel better.” Jake tried again.
“I have nothing to say.”
“Mandy he doesn’t love you. He couldn’t possibly.”
“Of course he loves me.” She tried to sound off hand but it sounded more like a cat being strangled.
“Look at the way he treats you.”
“He treats me just fine.”
“I refuse to believe that you would allow anyone to treat you the way he does. It just isn’t in your nature to roll over and play dead.” And he was right. She knew that. “You have far too much fire and passion in you for that.” He told her forcefully.
“Jake.” She sighed. “He is a good man.”
“He treats you badly.”
“He treats me well.”
“He’s not man enough for you.” Jake told her. Amanda’s mouth dropped open in shock.
“Excuse me.”
“You heard me. He is not man enough for you. He is too weak to handle a red head.”
“How dare you. What kind of man do you think can handle me?” Amanda put her hands on her hips as she regarded him angrily.
“You need someone with a firm hand Mandy. And Alan is not it.”
“You are… you are arrogant do you know that. A brute, a bully. A firm hand.” She scoffed. “What, do y
ou think we live in the sixteenth century or something?”
“I stand by what I just said. Any man weaker than you, you would have no respect for. We both know that. You wouldn’t want a man that you could walk all over. You need a man with a firm hand. A man that can handle that temper of yours. A man that can handle that passion.” Jake continued relentlessly. She could feel the heat in her cheeks.
“This is none of your business.” She snapped at him. Growing tired and weary. She did not want to fight with him. This weekend had been wonderful. It was being spoiled.
“Wrong.” He barked angrily making her jump. “It is very much my business and I intend to continue making it my business.”
“Of course it isn’t.” she laughed nervously. “My life is my life. I do not belong to you. I am not your property.” She told him hotly as she forced her chin up in an act of defiance that she did not quite feel.
“You… are… mine.” His voice dropped to a menacing whisper. His eyes clouding. His jaw clenching and that pulse ticking away in his neck. “You have always been mine. You will always be mine.” Amanda shivered but not from cold.
“Jake… please. Let’ not get into an argument over this.” She pleaded with him.
“Leave him.” Jake demanded thickly.
“Why would I do that?” she asked him. Jake swore under his breath and raked a hand through his hair. Amanda took a step back from him. It was all going horribly wrong.
“Why do you do this? Why do you always…?” Jake stopped unable to find the right words.
“I don’t know.” She said sadly.
“Yes you do.” He told her.
“Jake I think you should go.”
“Yes, I think I should.” He agreed. “Otherwise I may do something that I will end up regretting.” And then he was gone. Her front door slamming shut behind him.
Her body and her heart ached. Her stupid pride again. Why couldn’t she learn? This argument would have never taken place had she just stopped allowing pride to be her dominant emotion.
Amanda stood rooted to the spot for a long time before finally dragging her weary body up the stairs to take a shower.
Amanda spent the evening cursing herself. She should have told him. She should have come clean and just owned up. This would all be over now.
Battle Lines. Page 19