“This wasn’t my fault, I was trying to lose the paparazzi, they are hounding me, because of you. This is your mess, not mine.” I still can’t see any faces, I look left out of the passenger window, the pane of glass is all cracked, it looks like fog when I look at it, I turn to my right and see Greg, I stretch out my right hand to touch him, his head, No! No! It can’t be right, his head is almost out of the windscreen, No . . . and then it all goes dark, I grabbed hold of my leg and started rocking back and forth. I needed rid of these horrifying images. I got out of the shower and took my wet clothes off, I flung them into the bath and got dried, I put some pants on and went back to bed.
I woke up feeling so tired, I had a long day ahead of me and I wasn’t looking forward to it. I put my headphones in and set off for a nice slow walk to work. When I arrived Rachel was waiting to greet me with a huge smile.
“Morning Jazz.”
“Morning Rachel, how are you today?”
“Excited.”
“Really! I would have never of guessed.” I shot her a smile to make her aware I was playing.
“It’s do or die tonight, I just want to get on with it.”
“Time will hopefully fly past for you. I will catch you at lunch.”
“See Ya.”
I walked around back to start my long day.
“Morning Zale.”
“Good morning Jazz, it looks like it may be a bit quieter today.”
“That is the best thing I have heard yet.”
“Are you looking forward to the meal tonight?”
“Yeah, I think it will be awesome, I like getting out every so often, I think it does you a world of good.”
“I couldn’t have put it better myself.”
“Shall we get on, the quicker we get out the faster we get back?”
It was a lovely easy morning, this was what I needed to recharge after my interrupted sleep again. I wasn’t even sure if I could manage two jobs with the constant nightmares, it was wearing me out, getting me down, day by day.
I met Rachel for lunch, she was so excited for tonight I thought she might explode on me. We had a good natter before I headed off for my afternoon shift.
“Good afternoon Yukari.”
“Hi Jazz, it has been a busy one today, from the moment I opened the front doors it has been heaving. It’s a good thing I am so good at my job.” She said, and then started laughing.
“I was hoping for a quiet afternoon,” I said. Winking at her.
“I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“That’s a pity.”
“How’s your mum?”
“Not doing so well, I am really worried about her.”
“Have they told you what’s wrong with her?”
“They said she had a stroke, I know she has been feeling ill, that’s why I cut my hours down here. She really couldn’t cope with looking after my son for so many hours in a row, it was tiring her out.”
“So what can they do for her?”
“When she picks up a bit, they are sending her to a physiotherapist, to help her get some movement back in her arm, but I am not quite sure what else will be going on.”
“I hope she recovers quickly, now go and get changed, off you go.” I went and got my uniform on, now I needed to survive this afternoon, go home, grab a shower and head off to meet Rachel. Then I will go to work tomorrow and head straight off to see Cat. I was really ready to see her, I was missing her a lot.
My regular big order came in, I still could do with some room for improvement, but I was definitely getting faster. The more practice I got the faster I was becoming. Then Mr blue eyes turned up.
“Good afternoon Jazz, I feel slightly disappointed that you are not stood on the ladders again, you put on an amazing show for me yesterday.” He sounded disappointed yet amused at the same time.
“So you wanted me to fall?”
“No, I want you to flash me again, that’s all.”
“So what would you like to eat today?”
“I told you yesterday, if it is not ready then I will owe you three.”
“Three, how did it get to three?”
“That salad yesterday, it wasn’t very nice, I figured you were trying to get rid of me, so I put an extra one in for you.”
“Well why don’t you round it up to ten then?” I had to say something to try to deflect him.
“Ok, you’re on, ten it is.” Well that didn’t work how it was supposed to.
“I will bring your lunch over when I have made it.”
He walked away and sat down, I went to the kitchens to fix him his lunch, but again I was feeling aroused. The now familiar aching between my legs appeared and my nipples hardened. I had to figure out a better way to deal with him, I refused to let him get under my skin. I took his sandwich over to him.
“You didn’t tell me what you wanted to drink?”
“You.” There was that half a smile again, I couldn’t figure him out, was he being serious? Or messing with me?
“So what can I get you to drink off the menu?”
“A lemonade please.”
“Coming right up.”
“God I wish you were.” I walked away smiling, he made me feel good inside and wanted, he certainly had a way about him, but I still needed to put him off, I was never going to be a toy for him to play with.
When I took his drink over to him, he was nice and quiet, thank goodness for that. I placed his drink on the table and went back to my counter. When he got up to leave he came over to pay the bill, I reached out for the money and he grabbed my hand, there was that annoying surge again, all my body reigniting at his touch, I pulled my hand away fast.
“What do you think you are doing?”
“Inspecting your hands.”
“Why?”
“I like you. Your hands are so sexy and petite, your nails are amazing, I would love to feel them down my back, are they your own?”
“Yes they are. I don’t wear false nails.”
“I will see you on Monday Jazz.” I passed him his change and then he left. Now that had to be classed as flirting, but I still wasn’t really convinced.
After work, I wanted to go straight to bed, but that wasn’t going to be possible. I got a quick shower, dried my hair, put my war paint on, grabbed a dress out of the wardrobe, got my shoes and bag and then left. I met Rachel at The Duck’s Side Pub. She had already ordered me a drink for when I arrived. I drank it straight down.
“Thank you Rachel I needed that,” I said.
“Rough day Jazz?”
“Long, long day, I am so tired. You wore me out shopping the other night.”
“Did you enjoy it though?” she looked really worried.
“Yes I enjoyed it, I am tired that’s all.” She leant over and gave me a cuddle, she had a big beam of a smile back on her face.
“You look absolutely amazing Rachel.”
“Thanks Jazz, I have got to say, wow you look hot.”
“Don’t be silly.”
“No I mean it, you have a great figure you look absolutely gorgeous.” I really felt as though I should warn her about Zale. He might not be interested in her, but I couldn’t find the words. I was still feeling distracted from yesterday’s and today’s events in the coffee shop, and I wasn’t sure of Luke’s interest in me, which made me feel unsettled. I was loyal to Greg, I didn’t want to be chased down by Luke. I was glad I wasn’t blonde, if I was I think I would have been even more worried than I was.
“You’re distracted, what’s wrong?”
“The coffee shop yesterday, Mr Heart came in and scared the living hell out of me.”
“How did he manage that?”
“I was filling up the coffee machine, I couldn’t reach so I used a pair of step ladders. He lifted me down off them.” Oh yeah and he was really strong, I went weak at the knees. Shut up I don’t need you carrying on tonight.
“So what did you do?”
“I asked him what
he was playing at, but I actually think he saved me from a fall, the ladders were broken.”
“God that was lucky.”
“Let’s forget about it, I need to say something else, but I don’t know how to put it.”
“Spit it out, come on.”
“Look the meal tonight, it will turn out how it is meant to, ok. If something happened with Zale then that will be great, if not, well, there are plenty of respectable men out there who would love to spend a night with you.”
“I don’t want respectable, I really need to get my leg over, it’s been so long I feel like a bloody nun.” I couldn’t stop laughing, she was impossible, but I was glad I managed to say something to her.
We set off for the restaurant, thankfully it was only a short walk away from the pub, we took our seats. I was glad we had arrived first it gave me time to settle in before the others arrived. A man approached our table, Rachel stood up.
“Hi Lee, it is so lovely to see you again, this is Jazz,” she said. I had forgotten she was inviting someone else, I presumed it would have been a female. I held my hand out to him.
“Hi Lee, nice to meet you, Rachel has told me loads about you.” I then glared at Rachel, not one mention, she sunk in her chair a little. Zale wasn’t far behind Lee in arriving. We all ordered a starter, I opted for the melon, Rachel ordered, prawn cocktail, and Zale and Lee ordered soup. By the time, we had finished eating our starters I was bursting for the toilet.
“Excuse me I need to use the little ladies room.” Rachel tagged along. Once we were there, Rachel asked me.
“Well what do you think of Lee then?”
“In what context do you mean Rachel?”
“Do you find him attractive? I thought you two could . . . well, you know?” Don’t snap at her Jasmine, she doesn’t know, remember you haven’t told anyone yet. I was slightly annoyed. I had never suspected she would try to set me up on a blind date. We had never talked about my sexual preferences before, and I certainly hadn’t told her about Greg, this seemed to be the best time to bring it up.
“Look Rachel, I have no interest in men.” she replied very quickly.
“Are you a lesbian? I should have found that out first, I am so sorry Jazz, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, please forgive me, it doesn’t bother me if you are.” I gave her a reassuring cuddle. She looked and sounded so panicked.
“I am not a lesbian, but I do, well used to have a fiancé.” She looked very confused, so I continued, “look Rachel this is the hardest thing to say to anyone. I came to Newtown to get away, I needed a fresh start, Greg and Me, my fiancé were in a car accident just under two months ago, he . . . he . . .” breathe Jasmine, you can do this, take in a very deep breath.
“What is it Jasmine, you have gone white as a ghost?”
“My fiancé, he didn’t survive the car accident, he is dead.”
“Oh my lord, what have I done? I am so sorry Jasmine, I really am, I had no idea. Can you forgive me, please?”
“There is nothing to forgive Rachel, you had no idea, I don’t blame you, I haven’t told anyone.”
“I really am sorry.”
“I should maybe have told you earlier, but I didn’t want people feeling sorry for me, which you know they would have, then the talking behind my back, ‘look at that young lady she lost her fiancé in a car accident, how tragic,’ I couldn’t take that, I needed to keep it a secret.”
“I understand honestly Jasmine. Are we ok?”
“We are fine Rachel.” I pulled my necklace out from under my dress, “this is, was my engagement ring, I keep it on my necklace so I don’t get asked a lot of awkward questions.” She slung her arms around me, I was finding it hard to contain my tears. We hugged again.
“Jasmine, I am sorry.”
“I am counting on you not to repeat one word of this conversation to any other living soul.” I glared at her. I needed her to understand the seriousness of it.
“I will take it to the grave with me, oh no I didn’t mean that, sorry Jasmine.”
“Relax Rachel, give me another hug and let’s get back.” I could see the worry on her face. Maybe I should have told her sooner, and not left it until something like this happened, but I can’t turn back time, so I was hoping that Rachel would stop beating herself up over this incident and move on with our friendship.
Chapter 8
As we came out of the toilets and headed back to the table, I saw a familiar face out of the corner of my eye. I couldn’t believe it. Mr blue eyes was sat at a corner table with a lady that had long blonde hair, her back was too me so I couldn’t see her face. My heart was thudding in my chest, I felt myself going bright red. As we took our seats, I was still looking at him. Stop staring jazz he will see you. I turned away fast and looked right at Rachel, she frowned at me, I nodded my head from side to side indicating not to say anything.
Our main course arrived.
“You were gone a long time ladies,” Lee said.
“Yeah the queue for the ladies toilets was horrific,” I replied. Rachel and I looked at each other and grinned. I had ordered the gammon with chips, pineapple, and fried egg. Rachel and Lee had gone for salmon with new potatoes and vegetables, and Zale had ordered roast chicken with new potatoes and vegetables. I wasn’t really feeling very hungry now, it wasn’t Rachel’s fault, I didn’t want to be the one to spoil the evening, so I tried to eat as much as possible, leaving it when I thought it would be safe to say I was full, I didn’t want to arouse any suspicions.
I looked over at Rachel and caught Mr blue eyes looking over in our direction. His gaze was fixed on me. I was trying desperately not to stare back at him but I was failing. I could feel myself going bright red again, but I still couldn’t stop looking at him. He was effecting me from a distance, how was this even possible? I could feel myself getting wet again. I had to do something to squash these feelings, my mind was adamant I would remain loyal to Greg, but my body was telling me a very different story. I excused myself and headed off to the toilets, I had to wash my face in cold water to calm my body down a bit.
What the hell could I do to stop this man making me wet? Then it dawned on me, I know what needed to be done. I would unpack my vibrator when I got home, if I could sort out my bodies needs and get rid of my bent up frustrations, then things could go back to normal, I needed to release my tensions. Then it will be problem solved. I headed back to the table and took my seat again.
We had our puddings served, now this I wasn’t going to leave. I chose the black forest gateau, Rachel went for lemon cake, Lee had pistachio ice cream and Zale went for a mixed berry cheese cake. We all got a coffee to finish off the evening.
Zale seemed more interested in Lee than Rachel, but this did provide us with our answer. He had no romantic feelings for her, he was making it perfectly clear. We finished up and paid. I needed the ladies room before we left, when I returned Rachel was sat at the table on her own.
“Where have Lee and Zale gone?”
“They wanted to meet us outside.” I walked on Rachel’s right hand side, I was trying to hide from Mr Heart. This seemed daft, as he already knew I was here but I couldn’t handle him watching me.
“What’s going on Jazz? Why are you hiding?”
“I will explain it to you later.” I had already rung for a taxi so when I got outside I wouldn’t have to wait for very long. Zale and Lee were definitely getting on well, I think something was going on between them two. I could have sworn I saw those two holding hands when I came outside. But I couldn’t be sure.
Our taxis showed up so I got in one and Rachel got in the other, we lived at the opposite side of town from each other, Zale and Lee were going to walk home. I said goodnight to everyone and thanked them for a lovely evening.
Once I got into the house I kicked my shoes off, ran straight to the bedroom and threw my dress on the floor, I unpacked my friend. I hadn’t realised how desperate my body was for this kind of release. No foreplay needed, straight
down to business. While I was masturbating all I could think of was Mr blue eyes, I stopped, this wasn’t meant to be like this. After a bit of contemplation time I decided to carry on, maybe having a fantasy about him and then getting it out of my system was the way to go after all. Five-minutes later there it was, just what my body had been asking for. I felt somewhat guilty that my body needed it after such a short amount of time after Greg. I now also felt guilty about fantasizing about Mr blue eyes. I headed straight for the shower the hot water running over my body felt so refreshing. I stood there for ages, not wanting to move, not wanting to think about what I had just done. When I got out of the shower, I had a missed text on my phone, it was too late for Cat or Dylan to be texting me, so I looked at the number, who could this be from? I really didn’t recognise the number, so I opened it up.
“You looked absolutely stunning tonight xxx.”
Who could have sent me this? Am I being followed? If I am who and why are they following me? Could this be off Mr Heart? Now that is the dumbest idea you have ever had. Yeah I suppose my brain was right. Is it a wrong number then? Do I text back and ask them who they are? I really didn’t know what to do, I wished Caitlin was here, she always knew what to do. I sat toying with my thoughts, I need to find out who it was, my curiosity won, so I text back.
Seduce Me (The Heart Series) Page 10