“Why not? It’s legal… at least for a while longer. So why don’t you smoke?”
“Because I don’t want to.”
“The same reason I don’t then. I have access to all the drugs I could ever care to consume, but I don’t do drugs either, for the same reason. Just because something is available doesn’t mean people will use it. Rose… we’re not forcing anyone to buy our product.”
“Yet you will willingly let people ruin their lives,” she states flatly.
“Yes. Yes we will. Unlike say, the alcoholic? Or the man that dies from lung cancer and leaves his family destitute? Unlike that, right?”
Rose stares at him a moment. “None of that changes the fact that you are breaking the law.”
“No. No it doesn’t.”
“And you don’t care?”
“No. I’m not hurting anyone. I’m not depriving anyone of life or liberty. If people want to ruin their lives, then that is their business. I allow them to live their lives as free men and women. It is up to them to live it responsibly.”
She stares at him a moment. “Just take me to my car.”
“Rose…” he says, moving to take her into his embrace.
“Don’t touch me,” she snarls, backing away. “Just take me to my fucking car! You should be thankful I don’t call the cops on you!”
Joseph can feel his face harden. “You’re free to do as you think best. I won’t try to stop you.” He looks at her a moment, then turns and walks away, leaving her alone in the kitchen to go put on his shoes. Moments later he is back, truck keys in hand. “I’m ready when you are. We’re taking the truck.”
Rose grabs her purse from where she placed it last night and marches out of the house into the garage, crawling into the cab of his pickup. As the garage door growls upwards he turns the key, the diesel engine clattering to life.
They drive in silence for the fifteen minute trip to the Goose, Joseph stopping the truck behind her car. “Rose,” he says quietly as she opens the door. “It has been good to see you again.”
“Just stay the fuck away from me, okay?” she says coldly as she slides out of the truck and slams the door. The truck sits for a moment before pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road, returning in the direction it came.
Just like seven years ago, he is out of her life. And just like seven years ago, she can feel her heart breaking.
CHAPTER ONE
Rose Aguilar stands by her BMW as the white Ford roars away, the truck spewing black diesel smoke as the driver stands on the throttle. Less than an hour ago she had been on cloud nine and once again in the arms of the man she loves… in his arms after a seven year separation. But now…
She purses her lips, trying to hold her tears back, gasping in a desperate attempt to keep herself together long enough to get away from this public place. She unlocks her car and falls into the seat before slamming the door shut and wiping at her eyes, furious at herself for crying. For being hurt all over again. For the unfairness of the world.
She turns the key in the car, bringing it to life, wiping her eyes again to clear her vision. Clearing her throat, she slips the car into reverse and backs out of the space where it had sat overnight. She has an hour to get to Melina’s house, get changed, get her shit together, and get back here to the Goose.
She makes the short drive between The Green Goose and Melina’s home without incident, occasionally wiping at her eyes when they become blurry with tears. She had driven up from Las Vegas to managing the restaurant, The Green Goose, for Melina until her friend can recover from the unexpected death of her husband. After stopping the car in the driveway of her childhood home, she sits in the car for a moment, trying to pull herself together. Melina has enough problems to deal with after Tim’s death without her adding to them. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she exits the car and walks to the front door, pausing to plaster her generic business smile on her face before opening the door.
Melina Scholly is in the living room running the vacuum while her two young children, Michael and Kimberly, watch an animated kids' show on the television. Seeing that Melina is occupied she tries to hurry past and avoid interaction, but Melina clicks off the vacuum the moment she steps in the door.
“Rose! Glad you made it back! Does this mean what I think it means?” she teases, then frowns, picking up on Rose’s fake smile and general distress. “Rose? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Rose gasps, stepping quickly past Melina and heading for her room. She has to get changed and get back to the restaurant.
Melina drops the cord and parks the machine’s handle in the upright position, hurrying after Rose. “Rose? Honey? Rose, what’s wrong?” Rose tries to shut her door but Melina gets her hand against it and pushes it open. “Rose… what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” Rose says, turning her back on Melina so she won’t see her red and puffy eyes, covering the move by opening her closet door to find some fresh clothes. “I just need a minute alone, okay?” It has only been a week since Tim Scholly, Melina’s husband, had been gunned down in cold blood in front of the Goose. The last thing Melina needs is to listen to her sulk over a relationship that is seven years dead.
Melina stands for a moment, torn by what to do. It is clear that Rose doesn’t want to burden her, but it is just as obvious that Rose is struggling to not come apart at the seams. “Talk to me, Rose. Tell me what happened.”
Rose gasps loudly, refusing to turn to look at Melina. “It’s nothing, Melina. I’m okay. You have enough on your plate at the moment.”
Melina steps up behind Rose and places a hand gently on her shoulder. “Talk to me, Rose. You were here for me when I needed you. Let me be here for you.”
“It’s Joseph,” Rose says, her voice becoming cold as ice.
“That’s where you were last night when you didn’t come home. You stayed with him,” Melina says, her tone making it a statement.
“Yes.”
“What happened?”
“He’s a drug dealer. A mother-fucking drug dealer!” Rose shouts, snatching a fresh blouse from her closet with such fury that the hanger tears the shirt before it come free. Rose looks at the rip in disgust before throwing the shirt to the floor and reaching for another, more calmly this time.
“I’m sorry, Rose.”
“Yeah,” Rose sighs, and then she wipes her eyes and sniffs. “Serves me right for getting involved with him again.”
“Tell me what happened. How did you find out?”
“He told me. He doesn’t even care if it is illegal. I should call the fucking cops on him.”
“Are you going to?”
Rose sighs again. “No. I should, but I won’t. I just want to forget it ever happened. Forget I ever saw him again. Try to forget that I’m so fucking stupid.”
“You’re not stupid, Rose,” Melina says quietly.
“No? What do you call a woman that goes to bed with her ex-boyfriend again after seven years? An ex-boyfriend that is a certified whacko. The same ex-boyfriend that left her over a fucking book. The ex-boyfriend that is a goddamned drug dealer! What part of that doesn’t sound stupid to you?” Rose pulls a coordinating pair of pants from the closet and throws them on the bed and begins to undress. “I have to change and get to work.”
“Why don’t you let someone else take it tonight?”
“Because I need something to distract me right now. Because it wouldn’t be fair to burden Roger with having to run the place alone because my feelings are hurt and I’m pissed off. I’ll get over it.”
“Okay. We’ll talk tonight, after the kids are in bed.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’m sorry for dumping on you. You have enough to worry about.”
Melina snorts. “Don’t be sorry. Now I can worry over your problems instead of my own. Or misery loves company. Or something.”
Rose feels her lips curl into a lopsided smile. She takes another deep breath, trying to let go of the hurt and the anger. “Glad to be of
help,” she mutters.
“I think the kids and I will come by for dinner. Michael likes going to the Goose. I’ll check in to see how you are doing,” Melina says while backing out of the room and closing the door.
CHAPTER TWO
Rose throws her dirty clothes into a chair before dressing in the fresh clothes she had pulled from the closet. She had showered at Joseph’s house earlier in the morning after a night spent in a hot and sweaty tumble, so getting presentable for work only takes minutes. Dressed, she enters the bathroom where she holds a cold cloth over her eyes for several minutes to hide the fact she had been crying, then lightly applies her makeup. It’s not perfect, but if you don’t look too closely you won’t notice the red puffiness around her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she puts on her business smile and leaves for the Goose.
Going about the business of running a restaurant allows her to operate on autopilot, reflecting on the past week, her mind whirling in ever tighter circles as she tries to cope with falling back in love, and being emotionally gut punched, all within just a few hours. Her family had owned The Green Goose, or the Goose as the locals call it, for more than thirty years. She had grown up working in the Goose until she left to start her own restaurant in Las Vegas. Tim and Melina Scholly, long-time childhood friends of hers, had bought the Goose and her parents’ house when her parents decided to retire to Florida. She had been thrilled that the Schollys had bought the place. She, Tim, Melina, and that asshole Joseph had worked in the Goose all through high school. But Tim had never left, working his way up from busboy, to assistance manager, and finally to owner.
But then a week ago she had received a call from Melina, telling her that Tim had been shot mid-morning as he was leaving the Goose. With two small children, three-year-old Michael and eleven-months-old Kimberly, Melina had been in a bind and had asked Rose to manage the Goose for a few weeks until she could make other arrangements.
Because Aguilar’s, the restaurant that bears her name in Vegas, is only open for dinner and serves a quarter of the meals in a day that the Goose does, she had turned Aguilar’s over to her assistant managers for a few weeks while she tries to help Melina cope with her loss.
What she hadn’t counted on was Joseph Warner. They had been lovers for several years until he announced his leaving to join the Nine Devils motorcycle club in Tucson. She had been heartbroken over his leaving, but after seven years she was past that. Or so she thought.
She was unaware that Joseph had relocated the Nine Devils back to Eagle Valley, a loose collection of houses outside of Carson City, Nevada. Joseph had always been a little different, fiercely independent and intolerant of authority. During the seven years since he had left her, he had taken that independence to a new level, living “off the grid” as he called it. No phone. No credit cards. No address. Tim and Melina had enabled him to live like this by allowing him to use the Goose as a mail and phone drop.
And that is where it all went horribly wrong. The moment he walked into Tim’s office, she felt the chemistry between them again, chemistry she thought long dead. And now look where she finds herself. After falling under his spell once more, and realizing that she had never really stopped loving him, she finds outs he is a fucking drug dealer. No wonder he is living under the radar. The fuck.
Rose shakes herself free of her thoughts as a family of five enters the Goose. She quickly seats them, passing out menus along with a box of crayons and a kids’ menu designed for coloring for the tyke.
The Goose has two rushes a day: one for breakfast and one for dinner. Since it is Friday night, the restaurant is at capacity… allowing her to forget her troubles for a time. As the dinner crunch begins to ease, Melina arrives with Kimberly in her arms and Michael in tow. The moment the staff notices her arrival she is mobbed by sympathetic well-wishers. Melina holds up well, obviously sad but able to keep her eyes dry.
“I feel so bad for her,” Tonya, one of the long-time waitresses, says quietly to Rose after speaking with Melina for a moment. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.”
“Were you here when Tim was killed?”
“No, thank God. Jack and I had already left so we could come back for dinner.”
"Something is going on". Rose says out loud, but inwardly, she's telling herself. I can’t figure out Melina’s reaction to Tim’s death. She’s sad, and upset, but it’s like she doesn’t even care if they catch the guy that did it.
Tonya nods. “Maybe she just can’t deal with it right now?”
“Maybe. But it seems like there is more to it than that.”
Tonya shrugs. “People cope in different ways. Maybe that is her way… ignoring it. Even if they catch the guy that did it, it won’t bring Tim back.” She pauses, watching Melina as she speaks with another of the wait staff. “How’s she holding up? Okay? I remember when the four of you guys were working here after school. Tim and Melina still had their whole life in front of him. I can’t even imagine what she must be going through.”
“She’s tough,” Rose says quietly. “Every day she does a little better.”
“I’m glad you’re here for her.”
“Yeah. Me too,” Rose says before turning to greet a young couple just entering.
CHAPTER THREE
“How are you doing?” Rose asks Melina as she slips into an extra chair. She had stepped over when she noticed they were finished eating and preparing to leave.
“Okay. That was hard when everyone came up to us after we first arrived. I thought I was ready for that, but I barely got through it without crying. Everyone is so nice and supportive,” Melina says, her eyes filling with tears.
“Melina, you have been part of the Goose forever. You’re like family.”
Melina smiles, sniffs, and wipes at her eyes. “I guess.”
Rose pats her gently on the hand before rising. “I told you. Each day it will get a little better. You’ve taken another step forward, I think, by venturing out among friends. It just takes time, Melina. But time really does heal all wounds.”
“I suppose you are right,” Melina says as she also rises and begins to unhook Kimberly from her highchair. “But that doesn’t make the wait any easier.”
“No. I suppose it doesn’t.”
***
The Goose closes at ten, but it is nearly midnight before Rose steps through Melina’s door. “I was beginning to wonder if you were coming home,” Melina says with a faint smile as she hands Rose a glass of wine.
“We got a large party in late.”
“Typical… but you’re here now. Feel like talking?”
“Not much to say,” Rose replies, settling into a chair, thankful to be off her feet.
“Tell me what happened.”
Rose sighs, not sure she wants to rehash it all. “Joseph stopped by and asked me out for dinner last night. I couldn’t go because that would have left the Goose shorthanded. But when I closed up, he was waiting. Scared the shit out of me because I didn’t see him sitting there. Anyway, he took me back to his place.”
“And?” Melina prompts when Rose doesn’t appear to want to continue.
“And we had dinner. Spaghetti. He said he made it while he waited for me to get off work.” Rose offers Melina a sad little grin. “The sauce was very good, and he gave me the recipe, but I forget it this morning. I was going to replace the sauce at the Goose with it. Damnit.”
“You could always ask him for it again. He would probably give it to you.”
“I’m not asking him for a fucking thing.”
“Okay. I’m just making a suggestion. I’ll ask him if you want. So what happened then?”
“Then? I don’t remember exactly. Somehow we got onto the subject of us, and what happened, and he told me that he loved me. That he had never stopped loving me. And that’s where I fucked up. He told me if I would tell him to go away he would, and never bother me again. I started to… but realized that I didn’t want him to go away. I wanted it to go back to the way it w
as between us.”
“And you two went to bed.”
“Yeah.”
“How was it?”
“Nosy!” Rose teases. “It was fantastic. It was like we had never been apart. We went twice that night, again this morning, then again, later in the shower.”
“So when did he tell you about what he does?”
“You know, you don’t seem all that surprised that he deals drugs,” Rose says in sudden realization. “Did you know?”
“Yes,” Melina says quietly, looking at the floor. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Why not?” Rose cries in frustration.
“I didn’t think of it. Partly because of Tim and everything going on, but another part is… well… it’s just what he does to live. It doesn’t change who he is.”
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