“She’s fine. I have never seen a woman have such an easy time of it.”
“Can I see her now?”
His mother shook her head. “Nay.”
“Then when?”
“Ariel doesn’t want to see you.”
Broc could understand Ariel not wanting to see him, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. “I know I was wrong.”
“Aye, you were wrong, but that doesn’t make it right either. What could you have been thinking? I’m afraid you pushed Ariel too far this time. You have lost her and maybe for good this time. To be honest, if it had been me, I would have had nothing to do with you long before now.”
His mother meant every word. It was he who had been in the wrong. “I know how much of an ass I have been. There’s no need to tell me, mother, but this is my daughter. She changes everything.”
“How stupid can you be? You called Ariel a liar and insinuated she was a whore for allowing another man to take her. Would you have been happier if you found her beaten and broken?”
He wasn’t very proud of himself at the moment. “Of course not. How I treated Ariel was unconscionable, I just couldn’t seem to stop myself. Every time I picture Ariel in Geoffrey’s arms my blood boils. I hate myself for it. I need to ask Ariel for forgiveness, to see if we can start over.”
The baby started to squirm. Turning her head, she nuzzled Broc’s chest with her open mouth. When she didn’t find what she sought, she began to whimper.
“Give me the babe. I have to take her to Ariel. She needs to be fed.”
Reluctantly, Broc handed his daughter to his mother. “Please talk to her. I never really stopped loving her, regardless of what I may have said. I want us to be a real family.”
Sighing, Lady Mary nodded. “I will try, but don’t expect much. At least wait until tomorrow. She just gave you a daughter, let her rest.”
“Fine. One more thing. Do you know if Ariel has chosen a name for our daughter?”
His mother shook her head in denial. “She hasn’t said anything about a name that I know of.”
“Ask her if she wouldn’t mind calling the baby Brianna.”
Lovingly caressing Broc’s cheek, his mother smiled. “It suits her. A pretty name for a pretty girl. I will suggest it to Ariel.”
* * * *
The next day found Ariel up and out of bed. Her labor hadn’t been too strenuous and the thought of lying in bed all day held no appeal. She also put away her gowns and again wore her tunics and trews.
Against her better judgment, Ariel had allowed Lady Mary to talk her into seeing Broc this day. Her mother-in-law could be a very convincing woman when she set her mind to it. What had finally brought Ariel around in the end had been Lady Mary telling her how guilty Broc felt over his past actions, and how he wanted to try and make a fresh start. Ariel had no intention of forgiving him that easily, but she was interested in seeing what Broc would do. He had yet to arrive.
Ariel spent a peaceful morning with her father and Colwyn. The baby had been asleep in her cradle near the hearth, but she now made fussing noises. When sucking could be heard coming from the cradle, Ariel decided her daughter was in need of feeding. She spent a great deal of time eating and keeping Ariel awake half the night.
Colwyn who had taken an instant liking to his sister, rushed over to the cradle. Placing his small hands on the side of it, he bent down and gurgled something to the baby. The new face above her distracted her for only a moment. When it became apparent Colwyn would not be feeding her, the baby let out a hearty wail. The stricken look on Colwyn’s face made Ariel laugh. Holding out her arms, Ariel gathered Colwyn close when he came to her. Swein picked up his new granddaughter. Her cries stopped once she was held close.
Ariel kissed Colwyn. “Give your sister a few months then she will be able to play with you.” As if he had understood, Colwyn clapped his hands.
Drawing air into her little lungs, the baby let loose with another ear splitting wail. Swein cringed. “I think you had better feed this one before she brings the hall down around us with her cries.”
“Aye, she really does have a good set of lungs.” Releasing Colwyn, she took the baby from her father. Swein took Colwyn by the hand and left Ariel alone.
Unlacing the collar of her tunic, Ariel pulled it down, releasing her breast. Eagerly the baby latched on and began to suck. Ariel allowed herself to relax as her head fell back against the back of her chair. The heat from the fire washed over her making her feel drowsy. Her eyes fluttered closed.
With a jerk she opened her eyes. She could have only slept for a few seconds, but surprisingly she found Broc standing in front of her. The baby still nursed at her breast.
“What are you doing here?”
Broc smiled at her. “You said I could come and speak with you today.”
“I’m feeding the baby.”
“I can see that.”
Knowing Broc was being deliberately obtuse, trying to get a rise out of her, Ariel took a deep breath. “I want you to leave. You can come back when I have finished.”
“I think not. I have never seen a woman nurse her child before.”
There was no point in arguing with him for it would only upset the baby. “Stay if you want then, she’s almost finished anyway.” Which was true, the baby’s sucking came in fits and spurts. Sleep would claim her soon.
“Did you have a chance to think about the name I suggested?” Broc’s eyes seemed drawn to her breast. He stared at the sight of his daughter nursing. The baby’s little hand lay on Ariel’s breast.
“Aye, I did. Brianna is fine with me. I had no other name chosen.”
“Then Brianna it is.”
The silence stretched between them when they found nothing else to say to each other. Feeling uncomfortable, they both focused their attention on their daughter. Broc grabbed the chair opposite from Ariel and moved it so he sat a few inches from her knees. Leaning forward, he quietly watched Brianna.
With her belly full, Brianna released Ariel’s nipple and dozed off. Pulling her tunic closed, Ariel propped her daughter up into a sitting position and gently patted her back.
“Can I try?”
Finding no real reason to deny him, Ariel nodded her head. Placing the baby on Broc’s knee, she placed his one hand on Brianna’s chest so her chin rested on it. The other she placed on the small back.
Brianna looked so tiny held in Broc’s large hands. Almost afraid he would hurt her, he lightly patted her back. Ariel chocked back a laugh, which caused Broc to look up at her.
“What’s so funny?”
Suppressing a laugh, Ariel said, “You are. What do you think you will accomplish with that tapping?”
“I’m burping her.”
“Well you had better put some strength behind those taps or you’ll never move the gas.”
Broc looked decidedly uneasy. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
“You won’t. Here, I will show you.”
Wrapping her fingers around Broc’s wrist, Ariel moved his hand on and off Brianna’s back. After she figured he had the hang of it, she let him continue while she still held his wrist. After a couple of good pats a loud belch escaped the baby’s lips. At Broc’s shocked look, Ariel laughed.
Joining in on the laughter, Broc stared up at Ariel. One moment he was laughing and the next the laughter fell away from his face. Seeing the flames of passion flicker in his gold eyes, Ariel released Broc’s wrist. If things had been different she would have responded in kind. But the rejection she had received from him in the past held her back. Feeling uncomfortable under his intense gaze, she moved to take Brianna from him.
“Give her to me. I’ll put her in her cradle. She’ll sleep until her next feeding.”
Relinquishing the baby, Broc followed Ariel to the cradle. Once Brianna as all tucked in, he grabbed Ariel around the waist. He turned her and pulled her up against his body.
“Now we can have our talk.”
Placing her hands ag
ainst his chest, Ariel shoved, hoping he would release her. He didn’t. “Let me go and I will speak with you.”
Broc pretended to think over her request then shook his head. “Nay, this way you can’t walk away from me.”
Not having the energy to fight with him right now, Ariel made no other overtures for her release. “Very well, speak.”
“I know my behavior toward you has been unacceptable, but I hope you can overlook it. I wish for us to start over, make a fresh start.”
Ariel stiffened in his arms. He could not be serious. After months of being treated as low as the mud on his boots, he wanted her to forget what had happened. It could not be done. The wounds were still too fresh.
“How can you expect me to let the past go so easily? You’re asking me to do something I find impossible.”
Not about to give up so quickly, Broc pushed on. “Why not? I’m willing to forget what passed between you and Geoffrey. It goes against the grain, but I will push it from my mind.”
The audacity of the man knew no bounds. He really needed to be knocked down a notch or two. Ariel would happily oblige by giving Broc the sharp edge of her tongue, but first she could no longer stand the close contact of his body. Throwing all her weight behind it, Ariel shoved Broc with both hands on his chest. Caught off guard, he lost his balance and landed on his rump with a thud. If Ariel had not been so angry, she would have found the sight of Broc on the floor rubbing his abused backside amusing, but not this day.
“How generous of you to forgive me for something that never even happened. You can take your fresh start and go to hell.”
Standing up, Broc looked at her intently. “What do you mean it never happened? You slept with Geoffrey.”
“Aye, but not in that way. You’ve never given me a chance to explain. The first night he wanted sex, but when I stayed unresponsive he let me be. After that I just slept in the bed next to him. He wanted to protect me from his men. If they assumed we were having sex I would be safe from their advances.”
Broc paled slightly. “It looks as if I have to apologize to Geoffrey as well as to you. I’m sorry. I just don’t want to lose you.”
“You already have. How can I trust you again after this? If I accept you back, what are the chances of you turning on me once more? The one time I needed your understanding and support you withheld it.”
Broc looked at her sadly. “I would give anything to go back to that first day and change how I handled the situation. The right thing to do was for me to ignore the pain I felt and be there for you. Your pain had to have been the greater.”
Sadly, Ariel shook her head in denial. “But you can’t go back. The hurt has been done and I find myself unable to forget the pain you caused me. For the sake of my heart, I must keep you out.”
Broc hung his head in defeat. “What about the children?”
“You know how I feel about that. They are as much yours as they are mine. I will not keep them from you. We may not have a relationship, but I would like us to share our children.”
“I will take whatever you can give me.”
Pressing a kiss to Ariel’s forehead, Broc left the hall.
Chapter 45
A month passed and Lady Mary and Lord Eustance decided it was time for them to go back to their home in Normandy. Even though Broc’s older brother was capable of filling in during Lord Eustance’s absence, they both agreed they had been gone too long.
The day of their leave taking was a sad one. Tears weren’t held back as Lady Mary and Ariel hugged each other good-bye. Sensing something was going on that involved his grandparents, Colwyn wrapped his arms and legs around Lord Eustance’s leg and refused to let go. Taking a moment to play with his grandson one last time, Broc’s father walked around the yard asking where Colwyn could be. This made Colwyn squeal with delight.
When their departure couldn’t be delayed any longer, Broc pried Colwyn’s arms from around his father’s leg and swung him up onto his shoulders. Deciding sitting atop his father’s shoulders was just as fun, Colwyn grabbed a handful of Broc’s hair and commenced to hit him on the head. Broc winced with each blow his small son gave him as he bade his parents a fond farewell. The St. Ceneris made sure they received promises of a visit to their home in Normandy from Broc and Ariel before mounting their horses. Lady Mary even managed to convince Swein to visit as well.
A few days later, Lisette and Geoffrey made preparations for their departure. This farewell was a trifle more reserved. Since the birth of Brianna, Broc had grudgingly attempted to get along with Geoffrey. Surprisingly, they found a lot to like about each other.
There was a definite chill to the air and everyone was wrapped in heavy cloaks. When they spoke their breaths puffed out in clouds. Soon no one would want to be traveling for any long distances.
Lisette kissed both Ariel and Broc then moved to stand next to her husband. “Now I expect you both to come see us at Kilsmere, say in about seven months from now. That should be approximately when our first child will be born. I would really like you, Ariel, to be with me when my time comes.”
Smiling, Ariel hugged Lisette. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Broc shake Geoffrey’s hand in congratulations. “I’m so happy for you, Lisette. I promise to come to Kilsmere, but be prepared where I go, husband and children follow.”
“We have plenty of room, as well you know. You’re all welcome to come.”
Geoffrey assisted his wife onto her horse, and once more came to stand before Ariel and Broc. He seemed undecided about something. Taking a quick look over at Broc, he swooped down and gave Ariel a kiss. Just as fast, he stepped away and mounted his horse.
Watching them make their way through the village, Ariel couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being left alone with Broc. She felt her blood pump at a faster pace, but she forced her body back under control before it could get out of hand.
“Is what you said to Lisette true?”
Startled, Ariel jumped at the sound of Broc’s voice. He stood close behind her. Her body quickly responded to his nearness, making her heart race. “What…what I said?”
His breath gently stirred her hair with each word he spoke. “Aye. Where you go, you would take me along.”
Ariel found it hard to think clearly with him so very close. “Of course.” she stammered, “You are my husband. We may not share intimacies, but we still can be friends.”
“Really?” Broc stepped even closer. He was now close enough for Ariel to feel the heat from his body radiating onto her back. “I hope we can be very close friends.”
With her emotions running high, Ariel sought a way to discreetly move away from Broc. Before she had the chance to even try, a baby’s indignant wail could be heard coming from the hall.
Broc chuckled. “It sounds as if our daughter is hungry. She does have a way of demanding your attention.”
Already heading back in the direction of the hall, Ariel cringed at the sound of Brianna’s crying. “That she does. It helps to have a good set of lungs as well. I’d better rescue my father from her before she renders him unable to hear.”
Swein paced the floor with his granddaughter in his arms. As he walked he bounced her, trying to settle her. Brianna was having none of it and continued to cry all the louder. Ariel had to give her father credit though he was giving it his all, even going as far as to offer the squalling infant his finger to suck on. His attempts were met with no success.
Going to Swein, Ariel relieved him of her upset daughter and went to sit in the chair next to the hearth. In passing, she noticed Colwyn sitting on the floor with his small hands covering his ears trying to block out the sound of his sister’s cries. Hastily unfastening her tunic, Ariel offered her breast to Brianna. Opening her mouth, the baby clamped down on her nipple and greedily sucked. The hall fell blessedly silent.
Not having a howling child in his arms to contend with any longer, Ariel saw Swein’s body visibly begin to relax. “I’m glad you weren’t too far away. I wo
uld hate to see what would have happened if you did not come back quickly. It seems as if your daughter has a slight temper.”
The thought of her father trying to appease Brianna for any length of time when her belly was empty made Ariel laugh. At the sound, her daughter opened her eyes and paused in her sucking. When Ariel patted her back reassuringly, Brianna continued nursing.
“If you call Brianna’s temper slight, father, I would hate to see what she would be like in a full blown temper.”
Joining in the conversation, Broc said, “We will give her a sword once she is grown. Brianna is sure to be stiff competition for Colwyn.”
Both Swein and Ariel exchanged glances then looked at Broc. He appeared to be quite serious. Ariel had to ask just to make sure. “Is that what you want, Broc? You would not be bothered if our daughter chose to take up the sword?”
“How could I be? Her mother is a knight, by my own hand I might add. It’s in her blood. In fact, I will encourage her to take up the sword. I want her to be able to defend herself.”
Knocked speechless by her husband’s intentions, Ariel could only stare at him. Oblivious to her shocked expression, Broc sat on the floor with his son for some play time.
* * * *
A week later, Ranulf and Lily returned to Elmstead. They both made much of Brianna. Now with Lily wed, Ariel had not expected her to continue in her duties. But Lily would hear none of it. She said, until she had a child of her own to take care of, she would lend assistance to Ariel.
The baby was now settled into a daily routine, allowing Ariel to find more time for herself. Lily watched the children when Ariel wanted time to practice with her sword. Ranulf happyily partnered her once more. He said while he had been in London he had hardly picked up his sword and needed to get back into shape. There were times when Ranulf would decide to stay with Lily and play with the children. During those times, Broc would step in and cross swords with her, which pleased her.
Memories of the days spent training for her knighthood were fondly remembered. It was during those times Broc had been the closest to her. Those days she missed and Ariel was thrilled to be able to once more test herself against her husband.
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