by Sarah Price
The people in attendance remained silent as the bishop released Caleb and Drusilla’s hand.
Quietly, they both returned to sit on the benches, only this time Caleb sat among the married men and Drusilla sat with the married women. After a few long seconds, the vorsinger began the next hymn. His voice rang loud and clear as he sang the first syllable before the rest of the congregation joined in.
Drusilla tried to sing, but as she held the Ausbund in her hands, her hands trembled and her concentration disappeared. She couldn’t help herself from scanning the other side of the room, seeking Caleb from where he sat among the men. This time, when she found him, he was looking at her, too. She thought she saw his lips twitch, as if he was suppressing a smile.
The last of the guests had left before Drusilla had a moment to breathe. She stood alone on the porch, watching as the final three buggies disappeared down the lane, their blinking lights fading in the darkness.
“You’ll catch cold out here, Dru,” Caleb said as he opened the door and joined her. She felt him wrap her black wool shawl around her shoulders and she leaned her head backwards to look at him. “That’s better, ja?”
“Much.”
He stood behind her for a few minutes, his one hand still on her shoulder. She tried to relax, especially when she felt him pull her toward him, just enough so that her back was pressed against his chest. Neither one spoke. Instead, they remained lost in their own thoughts as they watched the stars in the moonless sky.
Drusilla wished she could think of something to say. It had been a long day and they had not spent any time together. At least not alone. For two hours, they had sat at the corner table with their friends and family coming to them so that they could express their congratulations and God’s blessing. When the food was ready, it was brought to them first so that they could dish their own plates.
Drusilla’s plate had remained all but empty. Her stomach felt as if butterflies fluttered around. She was married now and, for the first night of the rest of her life, she would share a bed with another person. Her husband. She couldn’t think about eating anything, her nerves feeling as if they were on fire.
But Caleb had noticed her plate and nudged her under the table, raising one eyebrow as he silently questioned her. When she lowered her eyes, he reached down and took her hand in his, another first for them. He gently squeezed her hand and, with a quick glance around the room to see who might be watching, he raised it to his lips and gently kissed her skin. “Eat something, Drusilla,” he had said.
Now, just as before, he was looking out for her. Taking care of her. He had stepped into the role with such ease and confidence that Drusilla felt ashamed of herself. She needed to swallow her fears and focus on being the best wife to Caleb that she could be.
“Did you enjoy your day?” she managed to ask.
“Which part was not to enjoy?” He let his hand slip from her shoulder and moved across her chest just beneath her neck so that he gently hugged her. “The sermons were wunderbarr, the food was plentiful, the people genuinely happy, and the hymn singing quite moving as always. I’d say that it was a right gut day, wouldn’t you say so, Drusilla Lapp?”
“Oh!” She gasped at the use of her new last name. “How strange that sounds!”
He laughed and kissed the top of her head, his lips pressing against her prayer kapp. “Strange or not, Drusilla Lapp, that is your name now and forevermore!”
“That’s a long time,” she said in what she hoped sounded light and playful.
“Ja, that it is.”
She felt his chest rise, pressing against her back for just a moment before he exhaled. “I do have a confession, Drusilla. There was one part of the day that was my favorite.”
“And what was that?”
He loosened his hold on her one shoulder and gently spun her around so that he faced her.
The light from the open kitchen door shone through the windows of the outer door. It was enough light so that she could see him staring down at her, his one hand back on her shoulder but this time, he brushed his fingers against her neck, just lightly enough so that she shivered. Even in the dim light, she could see his blue eyes searching her face, studying her features and finally meeting her eyes.
“Drusilla Lapp.” That was all that he said before he leaned forward, lowering his lips onto hers for their very first kiss. His free hand slipped around her waist, pulling her toward him so that their bodies pressed together. She could feel the heat from his body and let the black shawl fall from her shoulders as his lips lingered on hers. The touch of his fingers, still caressing her neck, changed her shivers to a burning sensation that she had never felt before. Uncertain what to do with her hands, she placed them on his hips, loosely holding him as his slowly let his lips leave hers.
“Ja, that was it,” he said in a strange low and husky voice.
“That was what?” she whispered.
He pressed his forehead against hers. “That, Drusilla Lapp, was the favorite part of my wedding day.”
She gave a soft smile and bit her lower lip. She wished she could tell him that she had never felt such a feeling before, that the softness of his lips pressed against hers and the feeling of his arms holding her and touching her skin had sent chills throughout her body, and not the type of chills that were brought on by the cold either. Somehow she had the feeling that she didn’t need to tell him that. From the look in his eyes, she suspected he already knew.
Noticing that the shawl had fallen from her shoulders, he knelt down to retrieve it, stepping back just enough so that he could wrap it around her one more time. “It’s cold tonight,” he said as he pulled her back into her arms.
“I hadn’t noticed.” She spoke in a hushed tone, almost so that he couldn't hear her. But when he gave a little chuckle as he rubbed her back, she knew that he had.
“We’ve a lot of work to do tomorrow, Drusilla,” Caleb said. “Mayhaps it’s best to call it a day.” He paused before he added in a teasing tone, “Or night…seeing that it’s late.”
“Oh.”
He leaned down and whispered, “I’m tired, Drusilla. And we need to help your parents clean up in the morning. I’d like nothing more than to feel you in my arms tonight. To listen to your soft breathing while you sleep and smell the lavender scent of your hair. I’m in no hurry to do more than enjoy just being with you, Dru. That’s intimacy enough for our first night, ja?”
She knew that she was blushing and hoped that the light did not expose her flushed cheeks. “I…I am your wife, Caleb,” she said. “I’m not so scared.”
He smiled and bent down to kiss her one last time before he took her hand in his, gently squeezing it, before he led her back into the house. A few second after the door shut behind them, the light in the kitchen was turned off and the flickering glow of lantern could be seen through the window, traveling toward the staircase as Caleb led his bride upstairs for their first night together as husband and wife.
An Amish Winter
They do not say in their heart, "Let us now fear the LORD our God, Who gives rain in its season, Both the autumn rain and the spring rain, Who keeps for us The appointed weeks of the harvest."
Jeremiah 5:24 KJV
Chapter One
Drusilla waited at the kitchen window, pretending to dry the dishes. The truth was that they were already dry, but it was Friday and Caleb was expected to arrive any minute. It had been a long five days since he had left the Riehls’ farm last Sunday evening in order to return to his parents. As Caleb’s younger brothers were still in school, his father needed his help on the farm during the week. With no telephones and not enough time for letters, she had not heard from him since his departure.
And that made for a very long week.
Three weeks had passed since they were married. For Drusilla, the days seemed never-ending, time standing still when Caleb was away and flying by far to quickly when he was there. Now, with the seasons shifting to winter, the shorter days and
gray overcast skies did little to cheer her up while she waited for Caleb to arrive.
“Gee Drusilla,” Hannah quipped as she walked by, carrying the baby in her arms, “think that dish might be dry yet?”
“Oh hush!” Embarrassed at being caught watching for Caleb, Drusilla gave the bowl one more wipe with the towel before putting it away in the cabinet. “Mind your tongue,” she added for good measure.
Hannah stuck her tongue out at Drusilla and plopped down on the recliner chair next to Mammi Ana’s bed. For a few minutes, she seemed content to hold the baby, tickling her chin and making Anna laugh, the sound of the baby’s sweet noise sweetening the tension in the room. Drusilla tossed the dish towel over her shoulder and walked over to where Hannah sat.
“What’s she laughing at so much?” Drusilla asked, smiling as she looked over Hannah’s shoulder at the baby.
Hannah glanced up at her sister. “She likes when I kiss her feet. See?” And with that, Hannah lifted the baby’s feet to her mouth and pressed her lips against them. Anna’s cherubic face lit up and her mouth opened into a toothless smile as she started laughing. “Isn’t that funny?” Hannah said.
“Ja, she’s a doll!” Drusilla leaned over and rested her chin on Hannah’s shoulder as she looked at Anna. “Just think how much she has changed since when she was born six months ago!”
At that comment, Hannah scoffed. “I’d have sent her back to where she came from if Maem had let me!”
Laughing, Drusilla gave her a quick and rare hug. “Sometimes, Hannah, when you want to be, you are quite the character!”
She stood up and looked over at her grandmother. Ana’s eyes were open and seemed to be watching them. Smiling at her, Drusilla left Hannah and the baby. “Mammi Ana! How are you feeling?”
While she knew that her grandmother couldn’t respond, Drusilla always made a point to talk to her anyway. She didn’t know what her grandmother could or could not understand, but Drusilla liked to believe that Ana took comfort from kind words, regardless of whether or not she comprehended the meaning.
Taking a few moments to reposition her grandmother so that she wasn’t laying in the same spot for too long, Drusilla continued to chatter away. “Did you hear baby Anna laughing? She has become such a sweet boppli, don’t you think? Much better than when she was born.” Pausing, Drusilla lifted her grandmother just enough so that she could remove the pillow from beneath her head and fluff it. “There!” she said as she placed it back on the elevated head of the bed. “I bet that feels right gut!”
“She can’t hear you,” Hannah said softly.
“Oh Hannah!” Drusilla scowled at her. “Kindness is kindness, whether known or not!” She returned her attention to her grandmother. “Right Mammi? One of these days, Hannah will understand that.” Leaning forward, Drusilla gave her grandmother a soft kiss on the forehead. “There! That should take away the worries of the day!”
From behind them, on the other side of the kitchen, a male voice chuckled. “Is that what it takes then? One kiss? I should like my worries taken away the same way!”
Quickly, Drusilla straightened up and turned around toward the door. “Caleb!” A smile brightened her face and, after pressing her hand on Mammi Ana’s shoulder, a gentle gesture of comfort, she hurried across the room to greet her husband. “I hadn’t heard you arrive!”
“Apparently not. But for good reason,” he said, his gaze shifting over to where Hannah sat next to Ana. “I don’t know which one is sweeter…the boppli’s laughter or your conversation with Mammi Ana!” He returned his attention to Drusilla and reached out for her hand. “Now, about taking away my worries of the day…”
Drusilla looked at the floor, knowing that her cheeks turned pink at his suggestion. “Caleb…”
“Now Dru,” he teased. “Hannah won’t mind, will you now?”
Grinning, Hannah shook her head.
“See?” He placed a finger under Drusilla’s chin and tilted her head so that she had no choice but to look at him. “I’m waiting…”
Hesitating, Drusilla bit her lower lip. Affection was saved for the bedroom, and not something to be demonstrated elsewhere, especially with someone else present. However, he had asked for something from her and she suddenly knew how to accommodate him. “All right then,” she said, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. Standing on her tippy toes, she reached up and removed his hat from his head. With her other hand, she smoothed back his hair, letting her fingers gently brush against his skin. Then she leaned forward and, just as he thought she might kiss his lips, she placed a soft kiss upon his forehead. “There now,” she teased. “Your worries should be gone!”
He laughed and, despite Hannah’s amused eyes watching them, he pulled Drusilla into his arms and hugged her. Just being in his arms made her feel better after the long week dealing with so much. Her mother seemed to have different excuses for not being at the farm over the past few weeks and, considering she usually left on foot, there was only one place she could have gone: next door to Jake and Barbara’s farm. While she was gone, Drusilla was in charge of Anna, Hannah, and Ana. She wasn’t certain which one required more attention and finally settled on Hannah.
But all of those worries washed away as she shut her eyes and enjoyed Caleb’s embrace.
“Ach, Drusilla,” he whispered into her ear. “You have a magical way of making everything just right.”
There was something in his tone that caused her to pull back. Her eyes searched his face, looking for some indication of why he would say such a thing. And here she had been thinking only of her own long week. She chastised herself for being so self-centered and not considering her husband’s week, too.
“Has something happened, Caleb?” she asked.
“Um.” This time, when he glanced over her shoulder at Hannah, Drusilla knew that whatever troubled him, it was not something to be discussed in front of her sister. “Later, ja?”
She felt her concern increase. Her mind immediately raced through a thousand different scenarios as to what might have happened. She knew better than to question him again, but she wished they could have a moments privacy so that they could talk. However, the sound of boots on the porch and the rough bang of someone tossing the door open indicated that privacy was not going to be found for a while.
“Caleb!”
Henry and Elam bolted into the room, eager to see their brother-in-law. Behind them, Daniel and Amos walked inside, both of them pausing to remove their soiled boots and coats before hanging up their hats on the hooks by the door.
“Such a welcoming committee!” Caleb teased as Henry and Elam crowded around them. He reached forward and tousled Elam’s hair. “Bet you’re looking forward to Thanksgiving this week, ja? Lots of turkey and gravy for you!”
“And sweet potato pie!” Elam added with a big grin.
“Hey now!” Caleb bent down and peered at Elam’s mouth. He whistled and shook his head playfully. “Why, I think you’re missing something in there!”
“I lost a tooth!”
“Ja, I can see that indeed! Guess you won’t be eating too much at Thanksgiving dinner after all. Just applesauce for you. Not enough teeth for that pie!”
“Aw! I can chew just fine for that pie!” Elam retorted, but he looked pleased at the extra attention from Caleb.
Drusilla smiled to herself as she watched Caleb interacting with her brothers. He blended into her family with such ease that Drusilla fought the urge of pride. On the few interactions that she had with his family, Drusilla felt shy and awkward. Her level of discomfort began with calling his mother Maem and his father Daed. Yet, using their first names felt odd, too. She finally decided to not call them anything at all. It was just easier that way.
Fortunately, most of their time together was spent at her parents’ house unless they were visiting relatives. This weekend, they were supposed to visit with the family of her father’s great aunt and two cousins from her mother’s family. The visits would be short, just thirty min
utes or so. It was a way to introduce Caleb to everyone in her family. It was also a time for people to give them gifts.
Caleb turned his attention to Amos. “Was wondering if you might have a few minutes or so to chat, Amos. I want to talk to you about that Ohio farm.”
Before Caleb finished speaking, Amos held up his hand as if to stop him from continuing. “You’ve plenty of time to think about that.”
Scratching at the growth of stubble on his chin, Caleb tilted his head a little as he responded, “Actually, that’s not quite true. I promised the man an answer before the holidays. He’s got his own preparation to do.”
Holding up both hands, Amos took a step backward. “After Thanksgiving, ja? You’ve a lot to do and we’ve a wedding on Tuesday, I seem to recall.” He glanced at Drusilla and winked.
Miriam’s wedding.
It would be the first wedding that Drusilla and Caleb would attend together as a married couple. And while Drusilla was happy for her cousin, the truth was that she was still savoring the happiness she felt from her own wedding to help much with the preparation for Miriam’s. She knew that she’d spend most of Monday helping to prepare food and set up the room for the Tuesday gathering. She took comfort in that, especially knowing that Miriam had a lot of family from her mother’s side to help, too.
And, of course, there was Naomi.
Her thoughts were interrupted when Caleb responded to Amos’s request. “Vell, I reckon a few more days won’t hurt. But I need to make a decision right quick after Thursday and I sure would like your input.”
Amos reached out and placed his hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “And I do appreciate that, Son. After the holiday, then.” He withdrew his hand and glanced around the room. When he noticed Hannah seated in the recliner, the baby in her arms, he frowned. “Where’s your maem, Drusilla?”
She hesitated before responding. For the past few weeks, her father had been much more stern than usual with Esther. He often redirected her to tasks at hand, asking for her help with outdoor projects or making certain she didn’t skip out of routine chores inside the house by claiming to be tired or have a headache.