“But we aren’t a fantasy…at least I didn’t think we were.”
“Are you sure?”
“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you?” My voice cracked as reality finally set in. “That’s why you asked me here. To end things before they begin.”
“No, it’s not.” He was voice was firm. “I asked you here so we could put an end to the bullshit we’ve been feeding each other and actually build on a beginning. I don’t expect you to move right away, nor would I want you to expect me to move back.”
Well, there went that question.
I scrunched up my face in confusion. “So what do you want? Is this goodbye or not?”
His voice cracked. “It’s a see you later.”
The feeling of my heart plummeting was becoming all too familiar to me. Yet no matter how many times I felt it I was still far from getting used to the scorching pain. “When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow,” he answered in barely a whisper.
“So soon?”
“I have a business.”
I nodded my head sadly. “I know….it’s just hard to think of you like this.”
“Like what?”
I shrugged. “Not the Jesse from high school.”
He reached out and grabbed my shoulders, turning my torso towards him. Never letting go of his hold, he stared into my eyes and said, “I still think we’re the same people deep down. Better in most ways, but the same in some. That being said, I think you’re right. Despite our history I think we need to get to know each other again. The people we are now.”
“Jesse Tyler is actually agreeing with me?” I found it in myself to joke.
He chuckled. “What I’m saying is that we can continue this, but we’d have to do it the right way. We both can’t expect something gargantuan just yet. It’s not fair to either of us.”
My face fell slightly. “So what does this mean for us?”
“I guess it means we take it slow. Do the long distance thing for a while, and maybe if things turn out well, we’ll figure out what we want to do.”
“Maybe?”
He grinned. “When things turn out well.”
“Take it slow, huh?” I dropped my gaze and frowned. “I guess that’s smart. Like I said, sometimes I feel like I know you so well and other times I don’t.”
His eyes flitted up and down my body before he nodded. It looked as if it pained him to agree. “I think that would be the most responsible thing to do, right? The most adult?
“Yeah, I guess.” I tilted my head in thought and mumbled, “Wow.”
“What?”
“I kissed, attacked you, and slept with you before an official date. Seems to me that I don’t know the meaning of taking it slow. Guess grown-up Rocky is a vixen, isn’t she?”
“Oh, you have no idea.” He released my shoulders and brought his hands to my face, cupping my cheeks. His warm breath bathed the skin between my upper lip and nose for just a second before he leaned in to me.
I licked my lips in anticipation, saying a silent prayer of thanks. As bittersweet as the moment was, I couldn’t help but feel grateful that for once my fantasies were a reality. High School Rocky was finally getting her Homecoming kiss. For a moment I could almost hear the annoying song—TAP. TAP.
“Are you tapping your fingers?” Jesse pulled away and lifted an eyebrow.
“Oh!” I grinned sheepishly. “I know it sounds weird, but—”
“You hear that song playing in your head too?”
I shot him a bemused expression. “Tap, tap, tap to you heart.”
“Kiss, kiss, kiss so we’ll never be apart,” he sung.
We broke into laughter, pressing our bodies closer together.
“Dumbass song,” he commented. “Surprised you still know it.”
“Well, it’s kinda hard to forget the soundtrack to a pretty memorable night.”
“Memorable, all right,” he muttered. “If I could go back and change it I would.”
I gazed up into the sky and smiled. “I know it sounds weird, but I don’t think I would.”
He frowned. “Why not?”
I grinned and explained, “I’d live through that bullshit again if I was guaranteed it would end like this.”
He shook his head. “This isn’t the end, Rocky.”
“I know…”
“No, you don’t, and it’s my fault that you don’t believe me.” He took a deep breath and smiled reassuringly. “I promise we’ll make this work.”
“By taking it slow?”
He nodded. “As much as I hate it, yes.”
Getting a mischievous glint in my eye, I shook my head. “No, we won’t”
“No?”
I reached out and grabbed his parka’s collar, pulling him towards me.
He chuckled, his eyes sparkling with a boyish wonder. “What are you doing?”
Recalling NYE, the night at his apartment, and every single time in high school that I regretted not making a move; I tightened my hold so that the brass buttons of his jacket dug into my skin. “You’re forgetting something.”
“Oh? And what is that?” he asked in amusement.
I winked. “Jesse and Rocky never wanted to grow up, did they? They didn’t want to turn into boring adults.”
A knowing smile spread from cheek to cheek. “Does this mean you’re up for some shenanigans?”
I felt myself wilt a little. “One for the road?”
His eyes darkened. “One for the beginning.”
Needless to say sex on the cold bleacher was a no go that night. However, hooking up in my car was a different story. Knowing that Jesse was leaving the next morning brought forth even more emotion than our first night together. If anything, it made it more passionate.
Squeezed in the backseat of my SUV, Jesse and I joined together saying I love you and goodbye with our bodies. He hovered over me, thrusting into me and whispering, “I always knew we’d end up together.”
He was leaving again. How “together” was that?
Though I groaned in ecstasy, moaning with each suckle, each kiss, and each touch, I couldn’t push away the sadness that was eating me up inside. Jesse thrust into me one last time and suddenly I found myself crying out, convulsing in the most pleasurable way. Unfortunately, with all my emotions brewing, I felt overwhelmed and unsure of what to do. Before I could stop myself, tears began to flow from my eyes.
Jesse heard me sniffle and immediately lifted himself off from me. “Are you okay?”
Feeling stupid, I wiped my nose and nodded. “Women can cry during orgasms, you know.”
He pressed his lips together. “Are you sure that’s all this was?”
I swallowed and let a slight sob escape my mouth. “You’re leaving again.”
Taking a deep breath, Jesse lowered himself and kissed both of my eyes, pressing his lips into the wetness of my tears. “I’m a man of my word and I know we’ll run away together one day. It’ll take time before you feel comfortable enough to leave, and I don’t blame you for being hesitant about it. So please, don’t cry.”
“I feel bad though. I love you…why can’t I just pick up and go?”
He brushed the side of my face and gazed into my eyes intently. “It’s because you’re afraid I’ll cut you off again. It’s because you’re comfortable here. There are many reasons why and you know what? It’s okay to feel them. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
“But now we have to be apart again.” My voice wavered.
“I have enough faith in us to make it through this minor hiccup.”
I frowned doubtfully. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because after the expulsions, overbearing parents, five years of silence, and two hundred miles between us, we’re finally doing this right here, right now.”
“Fucking?” I asked meekly.
He shook his head. “Making love. And Rocky, that love is going to be what’s going to get us through it. It’ll close the distance, and more
importantly, it’ll help me keep my promise.”
Chapter 32
Six Months Later
“Hey!” I waved my hand from side to side, a cheesy grin on my face. Jesse stared back at me with an equally goofy smile. “How’s your day going?”
“Better now that you’re here.” Jesse adjusted his laptop, giving me a better look at him. The sun shined in from a nearby window, highlighting his newly shaved face.
“What happened to your face? I liked the hair!” I pouted.
“Razor accident. Don’t worry, it’ll grow back,” he joked.
This is what our nights consisted of. And our mornings. And our afternoons. Actually, any free time he and I had were either spent on the phone or video chatting. It totally made the distance seem bearable.
“How was work?” I reached out and popped a potato chip in my mouth, crunching loudly, knowing full well the sound annoyed Jesse.
“Really, babe?”
Grinning, I placed a thin chip in between my top and bottom teeth, biting down slowly.
He rolled his eyes, but laughed. “To answer your question, work is good. In fact, we’re getting a bit antsy for our new hostess to get here, if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah too bad Hannah didn’t work out,” I lied.
“Oh, I can tell you’re really torn up about it.” He winked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Hey, I really can’t blame her for leaving. Finding out that the only reason you’re working for a company was dating somebody else, well that sucks.”
He tried to keep a stern face, but couldn’t fight the laugh that slipped out. “We could never prove that.”
“Oh a girl always knows when someone else is scoping out her man.”
“Speaking of girl stuff, I see a box of floral shit back there.” He paused and pointed towards the camera, wagging his index finger towards the right. “Have you seen my place? Does it look like it welcomes flowers?”
“Hey, if you’re getting me, then you’re getting my style,” I shot back teasingly.
“Great, just what I need. Roses and daisies and shit.” Though he sounded as if he was belly aching, there was no mistaking the humor in his voice. “Actually now that we’re on the topic, how’s packing going?”
“It’s…a lot,” I admitted. “Didn’t realize how much stuff I accumulated throughout the years.
“I really wish I could be there to help you out.”
“Well, you’ll be here in a week to pick me up. You can help me then.”
“Can’t wait.”
After six months of dating I finally made the big decision to move to Charleston. Though I knew he and Stephanie were right all along and I was only hesitant about leaving Bethel Falls because of what happened to me at State, I guess I needed to figure it out for myself. Besides, I think it’s a bit irresponsible to move in with a guy right away. Even if it’s a guy you’ve known since you were kids.
“How’s Stephanie taking you moving?” Jesse asked.
I smiled sadly. “About as well as you’d think. She’s depressed, but luckily she reconnected with Devon—”
“The dude from our Pre-Calculus class?” he exclaimed with wide eyes.
“What can I say? Daniel was a bust, but you and I are living proof that high school can last way past graduation.”
“Great.”
I giggled. “At least this guy is a good one. Keeps her on her toes.”
“That’s good…” Jesse nodded for a moment and then winced.
“What’s wrong?”
“How are your parents handling it now that it’s getting closer to saying goodbye?” He scrunched up his face as if not wanting to know the answer.
“Dad is sad and Mom is…well, proud, I guess.”
“Proud? How so?”
“She always knew Rossi’s Novelties was just a job for me and she always did tell me to wait for a guy that was worthy. I guess she finally saw it was you.”
“Are you sure it’s not someone else?”
I arched an eyebrow. “Like who?”
“Ethan?” he suggested in a sly tone.
“You’re lucky we have a computer screen separating us or else I’d sock you right in the face.”
“I’m only kidding. But really, that’s awesome she sees it like that. I mean, considering their reaction the first time you told them I thought I’d never see you down here.”
My eyes glazed over as I remembered that fateful day. It was a rare night when all three of us were home. After my parents left me in charge and I totally fucked up the store, I thought they’d never trust anyone enough to leave the store again. Strangely, they realized that the convention was actually a much needed break and decided to hire a new manager. The shift in responsibility really helped their moods and I think it helped our relationship as well.
I entered the dining room as my parents were finishing up their meals. As usual I had opted to eat in front of the computer. It was Jesse’s and my way of sharing dinner together. My stomach was turning, but I knew I couldn’t stall any longer. “Mom? Dad? Can I talk to you?”
“Are you pregnant?” My mom’s eyes went wide.
Taken aback, I couldn’t help but start laughing. “I don’t think that’s physically possible.”
“There’s new technology out there and…”
“Marie, just stop talking.” Dad shifted uncomfortably and motioned for me to sit. “What did you want to talk to us about? If you’re asking about a raise, I might have to disagree on that.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled out a chair, taking my time to sit down.
“Uh oh. This must be important.” Dad sighed.
“How can you tell?” I asked bemusedly.
“We’re your parents. I think after twenty-three years we know how to read you.” He reached out to grab his can of beer and slyly added, “Besides, usually your mouth would be running off by now. The fact that you’re quiet, well…”
“Ha, ha.” I pulled my chair forward and placed my elbows on the table. I thought it gave me an aura of confidence that I was severely lacking. I know most people would think I was being ridiculous. I mean, don’t most kids move out by the age of eighteen? The thing is I come from an Italian family. We’re all bonded at the hip and moving out is a much bigger deal than most people would understand. It was partly the reason why Emily was considered the black sheep.
Mom arched an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. “I…” I cleared my throat and pounded a fist against my chest as if to restart my heart. “I want…I am going to move out.”
Silence. Seriously it was as if the crickets outside our windows heard me and said, “Oh shit!” and decided to stop playing their melody. My parents merely sat there, staring at me as if I just spoke to them in Russian or something.
“Please say something.” I let out a stale laugh.
“Does this have to do with Jesse?” Dad practically growled.
“Yes, partly.” I shut my eyes, mentally preparing for an onslaught of words. “I’m an adult now and I’m sorry, but you know I was never meant to stay in this town. I want to branch out, explore and…paint again.”
“Branch out by moving in with him? You’re not even married!”
“Come on, Dad! It’s the twenty-first century. You can’t use that against me. I mean, Emily—”
“Emily is the reason we’ve sheltered you so much,” my mom finished for me.
I shook my head slowly. “What she did wasn’t ideal, but she’s happy with an awesome family. Don’t tell me you want to shelter me from that outcome.”
Mom wasn’t having it. “What made you come to this decision? Have you even thought about the logistics? What are you going to do for a job?”
“I’m going to work part-time at Jesse’s restaurant and part-time at a gallery nearby. It’ll help get my foot in the door and give me time to paint again.”
“I don’t like it.” My dad crossed his arms as if he w
as a kid pouting.
“With all due respect, you really don’t have to. I’m old enough to make my own decisions and this is something I have to do.” Granted, my next action was far from mature, but I couldn’t help myself. I stood up and excused myself without waiting to hear their response. What was the point? I knew what they were thinking.
At least I thought I did.
Later that night, I heard two soft knocks on my bedroom door.
I lifted my head from my bed. “Come in.”
My mom slowly opened the door and took a hesitant step inside. “Can I talk to you?”
“What’s the point? I already know what you’re going to say,” I muttered.
“Rocky, you have to understand where your father and I are coming from. We don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Emily didn’t get hurt,” I reminded her.
“Emily’s lucky!” She shut her eyes and shook her head. “Needless to say, we’ve always been a bit wary of Jesse. From high school to the shenanigans at the store, we always thought he was a bad example.” I couldn’t help but blush.
“But I went along with it. It was my idea too—”
“I know, I know. I also know how happy he’s made you. You do remember what I told you the night he moved away, right?”
I smiled. “Yeah, it’s actually why I never really dated before Jesse came back. I guess I always knew he’d be the only one who really cared about me.”
My mom’s already tired smile trembled a bit more. “I want what’s best for you, and if moving is what you think is best…”
I gulped, feeling my heart skip a bit.
She sighed. “You’re an adult and you’re right. You can make your own decisions…I’m just really going to miss you.”
***
“Hey, Rocky. Are you there?”
“Oh!” I snapped back to the present and smiled at my handsome boyfriend. His face was tilted downward, showcasing his brooding eyes. Damn, I still couldn’t believe he was mine.
“Did you get the package I sent you yesterday?”
I grinned. “Yes, I did, and thank you so much for it. I actually already sketched something with the charcoal you sent me. Do you want to see?”
Two Outta Three (Two Outta Three #1) Page 23