by S. L. Naeole
Vonne: What Lara said plus the fact that I’ve talked to him. He loves you, Ria. That man loves you in a way that I’ve only read about. If you need to take some time to accept that then take all the time you need, but don’t makeup excuses not to be happy.
Me: What’s that supposed to mean?
Vonne: It means that you’re clinging to the lawsuit and the past like it’s some life preserver that keeps you safe from the great big ocean of an unkown future. There are some times in life you’ve gotta let go and drown, hun.
I threw my phone on the couch and huffed.
Vonne actually thought I was clinging onto what happened to me? She actually believed that? My heart hurt at her words, and my face flushed with anger. I didn’t want to cling to anything. I didn’t ask for what happened to me. I didn’t ask for the lawsuit either. I was naïve and ignorant of what could happen after, and now I was paying the price but that didn’t mean I wanted any of it, or the memories of it either.
I didn’t want the scars of my past to exist, but that didn’t mean I was going to ignore them.
“Victoria? What are you doing out here, baby?”
Michael was standing in the living room, watching me. His hair was tousled, his pajama pants hanging precariously on his hips, and his eyes were barely open. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life.
“I was texting with the girls. They wanted to know how things were going so I told them.”
He stilled for a moment and then nodded as he padded toward me. “Did you tell them how you turned me down flat?”
My frown deepened. “I didn’t turn you down flat. I just…I need time, that’s all.”
God, how he must hate that phrase by now.
He chuckled and sat beside me on the couch, pulling me up into his lap and adjusting me. The minute I felt his hard length slide in the cleft of my thighs I knew why. “I know, baby, and I meant what I said to you. You take all the time you need. I don’t want to rush you into anything. When you say yes, I want it to be because you really mean it, really want to marry me, and not because you feel obligated to or because of guilt or pressure.”
I twisted my body to face him, wrapping my legs around his hips and cupping his face in my hands. “And I meant it when I said that I do want to marry you. I want to marry you so much. I’m just not ready to say yes.”
His hands moved to cup my ass, and as he pulled me forward, causing me to rub against his shaft, I groaned. His smile turned lascivious. “Then don’t say yes to marrying me. Instead, practice saying it.”
I looked at him, my mouth hinging open in surprise? “Practice? How?”
He rocked his hips, causing a sweet friction between the thin fabric of his pants and the sliver of cotton of my panties. “Do you want this?”
“Y-yes,” I groaned again.
One hand moved to slide beneath my shirt, his fingers finding my nipple and pinching. “Do you want me to put this sexy tit in my mouth and suck on it? Bite on it?”
“Yes. Yes.”
He brought his mouth to my neck and nipped before suckling at my skin. “Do you want me to leave my mark here, where everyone can see it and know that you’re mine?”
“Yes, Mal,” I breathed, my hands looping around his neck.
His fingers moved to slip into my panties, his thumb finding my clit and rubbing. “Do you want me to take this sexy pussy into my mouth and lick and suck on you until you cream all over my face?”
The dirty words coming out of his mouth turned into pure liquid right where his hand was. He felt it and smiled against my throat. “Yes, Mal. Fuck, yes!”
His hips jerked up and I felt the blunt tip of him pressing against my panties, pressing into my intimate folds. “Do you want me to fuck you hard, spread your thighs apart and stick my dick in you over and over again until you scream my name?”
Another word fell from my lips, but whether it was another “yes” or something more feral, I don’t know, because after that there was nothing but skin, lips, teeth, and so much wetness.
Mal dropped me off at home late Sunday evening. We’d agreed to address the idea of marriage in a month’s time. He was leaving for California again to finalize the complete changeover of his corporate headquarters and wouldn’t be back for two weeks.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” he joked before kissing me thoroughly and then leaving, joining Lyle in his Audi.
I avoided Vonne for the entire two weeks Mal was away, and when he called to let me know that there had been a hiccup at the construction site of his new manufacturing plant that would require he stay longer, I opted to stay at his apartment that weekend instead of mope around my apartment playing “avoid the elephant in the room”.
Holly, Lara, and Kara chose to come with me and as we rode the elevator to Mal’s floor, again the feeling of being watched snuck up on me. I turned to see the camera staring out at me from the corner of the elevator’s ceiling and shook my head.
“They have those everywhere,” Holly muttered. “You can’t do anything without being watched anymore.”
Her words remained with me as I took the girls to Mal’s apartment. They oohed and aahed at the space and the view. They crowed when they saw his liquor cabinet. And when we ordered take-out pizza and ate it on his china, they all but begged me to marry him.
Later that night, as we watched some ridiculously cheesy romance movie on his even more ridiculously large television that Holly discovered hidden behind a sliding panel, I texted Mal.
Me: we’ve totally invaded your space.
Mal: I like you in my space.
Me: I like you in all my spaces.
Mal: Mmm. Me, too.
Mal: What are you wearing?
Me: I stole one of your shirts.
Mal: Panties?
Me: I didn’t try on any of your panties, but if you want me to…
Mal: Silly girl. I meant are you wearing any?
Me: Of course I am. You might not like the idea of me wearing any but they do. We’re going shopping tomorrow, though.
Mal: Why?
Me: To find a pair of panties you wouldn’t mind me wearing.
Mal: I don’t mind you wearing panties, love. I enjoy taking them off you.
Mal: Especially with…
Mal: My…
Mal: Teeth
Me: Then I’d better make sure I find something you’ll LOVE taking off me.
Mal: I can’t wait.
My thighs squeezed together at the idea of buying lingerie for Mal. I was a total utilitarian woman, with plain everything. There was never a need for anything fancy or sexy or pretty when cheap worked fine. But now? With Mal? He would appreciate fancy. He would appreciate pretty. And he would definitely appreciate sexy.
Mal: I love you.
Me: I love you.
Mal: Sleep well, sweetheart.
Me: Only when you’re with me.
Mal: Then I’ll come home to you soon as I can.
I put my phone down and returned to the movie, laughing with my friends as the last of Mal’s words took root in my heart and bloomed. He thought of me as home. And, if I was willing to admit it to myself, I thought of him as home, too.
Shopping for lingerie was harder than I thought it would be. It was especially difficult when I kept running into the problem of my boobs being too small for bras and bustiers that had panties that I absolutely loved, and the only place that sold things that were both sexy and in my size also cost more than my share of the mortgage.
I finally settled on buying a bunch of completely impractical but sexy panties that showed way more than they covered, and picked up a couple of babydolls and slips that didn’t require bras to wear beneath them. Plain ole’ utilitarian beige and white would have to do for now.
As we sat down for a late lunch at a bistro near Mal’s apartment, Kara scrolled through her phone while Lara and Holly went over some of the details to the show that MOAT’s theater wing was putting on for the Christmas
season. I took one glance at the menu and knew immediately what I wanted to eat.
My phone buzzed.
It was Vonne.
Vonne: are you near a television?
Me: no. why?
Vonne: tell Kara to find the live feed on channel seven. do it now.
I glanced over at Kara and showed her Vonne’s message. Immediately she found the channel’s account on her social network feed and tapped the live video link. We watched as Mal announced the construction of his new manufacturing plant that would build and ship out the security systems, cameras, and software for Dynalock, the security software company he’d purchased a year ago.
“It’s been an amazing ride with Pete and Ivan and the guys from Dynalock as we moved from private security to finally being able to offer regular consumers the ability to protect and secure their own homes, phones, and computers like large corporations and the government do. We’ve made it simpler for you and harder for thieves and hackers to get to what matters most, and we’ve done it in a way that doesn’t just make it more easily accessible, but also more affordable than anything else on the market.
“From video surveillance to trackers for your children worn in their clothes that pinpoint down to the foot where they are in case the worst happens, we’ve done our best to ensure that you and your loved ones are safe. I use Dynalock in all of my corporate offices. It’s what secures my apartment in New York, and my home here in California. It’s what I use to secure my phones, my computers. I trust this equipment, I trust the software, and I hope that you will learn to trust it, too.”
As he spoke, two things happened. The first was how full of pride I felt at the sight of him, at hearing him speak. I’d never actually heard him speak publicly before and it was a sight to behold. He commanded that audience, the press silent as he spoke, their attention solely his for the taking. He was in control, exactly where he wanted to be.
The second thing that happened was cold, numbing fear replacing the pride and drowning it. Suffocating it as icy claws of terror wrapped around my throat and squeezed.
“Now I’d like to bring on the chief software engineer of Dynalock and new CEO, the man whose genius we have to thank today, so that he can explain in further detail just what it means for the average consumer to own a Dynalock product. Mr. Frederick Raymond.”
The man that had stood behind Mal stepped forward and shook his hand. He patted Mal on the shoulder and grinned at him, his smile one that spoke of more than just financial familiarity. His face had my heart leaping in my chest, desperate to burst out and run free, but it couldn’t. My blood had already turned cold, ice crystals freezing in my veins.
“It can’t be,” Kara breathed.
“Fuck me,” Lara hissed.
Holly took my hand and gasped at how cold it must have felt. “Ria…”
I shook my head.
There was no way.
No fucking way.
No fucking way in hell.
It wasn’t possible that Mal—my Mal—could be friends with him, because the man who had created the software that had secured my phone, the man whose products Mal had just admitted he used everywhere and in everything, was also the same man who’d kidnapped me and tied me up eight years ago. Who’d touched what he had no right to, taken what hadn’t ever been his.
The man who’d made me untouchable in the first place.
Frederick Raymond was Franklyn McAvery.
I watched, horrified, as Mal stood behind Franklyn, smiling as that ogre talked. Did Mal know who he was doing business with? He had to know! How could he not? Didn’t businessmen like Mal take precautions, do investigations and research into who they were doing business with?
“How’d he change his name?” Lara voiced out loud. “How the fuck did he do that? He’s a convicted felon! He’s on the sex offender registry, for fuck’s sake!”
Holly was typing away furiously on her phone with one hand, her other still holding tightly to mine. “I’m writing to Lyle. He’s gotta know more about what’s going on. Michael tells him a lot of shit.”
Kara took my other hand and put her phone down on the table. “Sweetie, we’re gonna get to the bottom of all of this. I promise.”
My thumb once again rubbed against the band of the ring Mal had slipped on my finger. He wouldn’t have asked me to marry him if he knew that he was working with Franklyn, would he? But Franklyn knew. He had to know. After my face was plastered all across the country with Mal’s, after his aunt had filed to reinstate the original settlement there was no way he didn’t know, which meant even if Mal wasn’t aware, he needed to be.
“I need to speak to Mal,” I breathed, hating the way my voice shook. It hadn’t done that since…since before Mal.
Holly nodded. “Lyle said the press conference is almost done and he’ll get Mal to call you as soon he can.”
I shook my head. “No. I need to speak to him in person. I can’t have this conversation over the phone.”
My friends all gaped at me. “But he’s in California. He won’t be back for at least another week, you said.”
Standing, I grabbed my phone and my purse. Kara grabbed my shopping bags. “Then I have to go and talk to him there.”
I saw the “what-the-fuck” look my friends gave each other, but I ignored it. Holly, still holding my hand, looked at me concerned. “You can’t drive there, honey. By the time you get there, he’ll probably already be on his way back if not here already.”
“I’m not driving,” I told them with utter conviction in my voice. “I’m flying.”
“Oh shit,” Lara muttered.
Kara squared her shoulders and put her arm around mine. “Then I’m coming with you.”
My friends were amazing. They truly were. They had supported me, helped me, fought for me without question and without fail. But I had to learn to start doing things on my own. I was almost twenty-six-years-old for fuck's sake.
“I’m going alone. I need to do this by myself.”
Knowing better than to argue with me about it, my friends all stood, tossed some cash on the table to cover our order, and then left with me as we drove to our apartment instead of Mal’s. It was quiet in the car, but the air was thick with questions and concern over me and what I would do.
Vonne was waiting for us when we arrived, but as soon as she opened her mouth I saw Holly shake her head in warning. They followed me silently as I made my way to my room an began packing a small overnight bag. My phone buzzed in my purse and I stopped what I was doing to check to see if it was Mal that was messaging.
It wasn’t.
Unknown: 12
I’d been getting texts from several different unknown numbers for weeks now, texts that I’d deleted without a second thought all repeating the same message. Twelve. I stared at my phone, confused.
“What is it?” Vonne asked as she took my phone from me and stared at the message. She scrolled and I knew what she saw. The same thing, over and over.
Holly and Kara leaned over Vonne’s shoulder and Holly asked out loud what the number twelve signified.
Lara answered, her voice quiet and yet still piercing my ears as if she screeched her words directly in my face. “It’s how much time that asshole got when you combine his prison and probation sentencing. Two years in prison, ten on probation. Twelve years. He sent that message to you, Ria. He’s fucking with you.”
My body started to shake and I felt my legs giving out as I slid against the drawers of my dresser. My body was cold. Everything was cold. Vonne and the others rushed toward me as my voice came out in stuttering gasps. “H-how did…how…where did he…he has my number. He…he has my…number.”
“You’re not flying to Cali,” Vonne said adamantly. “He’s there and he’s there with Mal which means you’re not going. There’s no fucking way I’m gonna let you put yourself in that position.”
Holly put her phone up to her ear and spoke quietly, nodding as she did so. She looked at me and then at Vonne.
“If you want to do this, Lyle can have Mal’s plane pick you up. One of us can go with you, but you have to say something right now.”
I glanced at Vonne who shook her head in warning. Kara and Lara both watched silently as I processed everything as quickly as I could, my hands rattling in my lap, my thumb still stroking the band of my engagement ring. “I have to. I-I have to do this.”
Nodding once, she again spoke softly into the phone before standing up and leaving. She was gone less than five minutes before returning, an overnight bag on her shoulder. She retrieved mine from the bed and then held out her hand to me. “I’m coming with you.”
“Ria,” Vonne pleaded. “Please, don’t do this. Wait until Mal gets back and then confront him.”
“If I wait, the fear will eat at me, Vonne. I trusted—I trust Mal, and if I wait then that fear will have time to erode my trust. If he has no idea that he’s working with Franklyn then he needs to know, and if he does know that he’s working with Franklyn then that means I won’t need to prolong the inevitable and can end it all there.”
I laughed then, shocking even myself. Everything ends in Cali for me.
My life ended there.
My future ended there.
And if my worst fears were true, my world would end there as well.
Holly slept on the plane.
I stared out the window, preparing myself for the worst.
If Mal did, in fact, know who “Frederick” really was, then this whole time he’d been playing the most fucked up game imaginable and I’d been a willing participant. I had to be prepared if that was the case. I had to be able to hear the confirmation and take it without breaking down, without freaking out, without acting like the crazed whore that Franklyn and the media had made me out to be.