In a way she had Isaan, but what would happen if he died…
On a material level they were both totally indifferent about having important possessions. They were tired of that lifestyle, and they also didn’t like that type of life because of how uncomfortable it was, but they both knew what they wanted to do. Isaan wanted to continue with his business, sometimes play poker, and continue writing physics books, without the intention of becoming rich. Moyna wanted to continue being the mother that she was and to compose even more sublime melodies for piano, if such a thing was possible.
A priori it seemed as though they both knew where they were going, but now in reality they had a tonne of questions. They started to review their lives, memories came to them from different times and at heart they felt an immense peace after having been fighting against each other their whole lives; in the same way as Isaan and his father had been fighting and he now tried to resolve things a little as he saw that his death was imminent. Isaan forgave him because deep down he was open-minded and he thought “better late than never”.
Despite having an open mind Isaan was delighted at how lucky his father’s business partners, rather employees, were, who in their day looked down on him as in the Cinderella story. Sometimes life is not a story and Isaan laughed when he remembered that one of them once said to him that he would not mind if Isaan’s father included him in his will. Isaan wondered how the poor guy could be so stupid, the wretch had ended up selling cans of oil at fuel stations, and the poor thing was probably still going over in his mind whether he would be included in Isaan’s father’s will.
Isaan had two ambitions, one was the economy and the other physics. In physics time is a variable, as loosing weight can be. In other words you can say that you have eaten five apples to gain a kilo in the same way that you can say you spent a few hours to catch a plane to Kathmandu. We can use time in different ways, but to say we can control it makes no sense. Time moves forward and Isaan saw that his time with Moyna was disappearing, perhaps by dedicating time to her the relationship could be re-built. Isaan could not get her out of his head.
If two people see each other in a train station it is not enough to say that they saw each other and no more, we need information about what time or what day they saw each other; if they saw each other on a Monday that is not the same as if they had seen each other on a Wednesday, if it was one day or another changes everything.
Although it may be hard to believe, for two people to see each other it is not enough that they are walking in the same direction and they meet, their times have to go in the same direction. It is something as intrinsic as the earth we tread on, it is the fourth variable of space in three dimensions.
Another song of a group that Isaan listened to was “The evolution of customs”, customs tend to change with time and people are obsessed with this. They want to control time, what was clear was that nobody can control time, it is like controlling an atom or a tree; these things cannot be controlled, they can serve your purposes but they are objects that are there and are not controlled.
Isaan thought, “Time is like a car, it can join us together or separate us as it joined Moyna and I now and as it separated us in the eighties, it is another variable of space.”
In fact if Isaan and Moyna had not seen each other it was not because they lived in different places, a plane to Kathmandu takes nine hours, it was because the two of them had times that didn’t coincide. Time is something intrinsic in every living thing, whether a person or a tree, it is an attachment like our spatial coordinates and influences our lives greatly, it is something like a part of our destiny, it can be used in different ways but it cannot be controlled so that it stops in our preferred moments.
If we use time in a different way we radically change our environment, from our relationships to any other aspect of our lives.
Isaan understood then that if he wanted to improve his relationship with Moyna he ought to dedicate time to it, that was the issue.
Dedicating time to certain things is important, it serves to heal your wounds and to keep your dreams alive.
It was obvious that at this stage in life one thinks about death and whether there is anything beyond, if so would they both be together? And if not, what was the point of this life? Isaan wondered whether if after death they would find each other or whether they would be in different coordinates of time and space, practically like that had been up to now.
That Isaan dedicate time to Moyna was risky, not because the time was wasted, which is nonsense because there is no such thing as wasted time especially if it is dedicated to another person, but it implies that those people are living together in an intimate way.
In fact to not dedicate time to her is like living next to each other without seeing each other. It is like a wall that divides two joint rooms.
It was curious how when they were ok, a long time ago, Moyna was interested in him because of her longing to be free and escape that network that pressed on her from all sides, and that Isaan was in love with her but with his heart, his head was elsewhere, not paying attention to the call of his own heart.
Now that they both had nothing they were interested in each other. Who knows for what strange reason, life is very complicated and whoever says otherwise lies. Well, the truth is that nobody lies, most likely it is survival instinct, or that the solution is easy but the way torturous. The only thing that we know is that they were mutually helping one another. There are many ways to help, a timely smile can prevent a cancer, thinking about someone can alleviate their sadness, and even if they continued living in different places of the space time maze….there was always room for a smile thinking about what they had lived.
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