He was too close to her inner thoughts. No one knew how miserable she was. She had to tread carefully here.
“Why do you ask? It’s a job. I need to live and it pays for me to do that, clear cut.”
“But are you happy? Do you see yourself doing it for the foreseeable future? Or better yet, does it give you bliss and comfort after you’ve completed an assignment?”
“That’s not a fair question. The very fact that it’s called a job makes it inherently different and separate from any happiness or joy I’d seek out. If that were the case, it would be my calling and purpose. This, dear Ajax Drake, is a job. Got that?”
He remained still and quiet, releasing her hand. Night air enveloped her hand, chilling it now that the heat from his hand had departed. She wanted to put it under her sweater, but didn’t, holding out hope that he might cradle it again in his own. His touch had become something she craved despite her understanding that it meant nothing to him.
“You think I’m naive or stupid, don’t you?” she asked, cutting through the deafening silence between them.
“Not at all.”
“Then what? What is it with you and the guys? I’m nobody, just an anomaly out there doing work behind the scenes to take out some of the scum of the earth, nothing more.”
“And there lies the issue. If you continue to see yourself as a footnote, backdrop, background noise or any other such peripheral thing, you’ll never come into the fullness of your calling. You’re a Siren, powerful and important.”
“Make up your mind. I thought you said I was a Harpy.”
“I did. You’re both. Right now, you’re mostly a Harpy.”
“And how do I ascend to the lofty heights of becoming a Siren?”
“By mating and consummation of that mating.”
“What did you say?”
“By consummating your mating.”
“What’s a mating?”
“Hold on and back up. I’ve got a lot to tell you before we get to that.”
“But you said you’d answer my questions. These are the questions I want answered. What is this mating stuff about? And how do I get one to become a Siren?”
He blew out a long breath. It seemed like he struggled with how to tell her about it. “Fine, I’ll ask Lucien then. He said he’d give me the information I sought as well. Don’t worry about it. Didn’t mean to put you in a spot.” Looking anywhere but at him, she scrounged for a way to get out of here and back to her apartment. “It’s fine. I think we should be getting back. I’m getting a little chilly up here anyway.”
15
This had been a bust. Standing to go back inside, Hildy avoided looking at him. Doing so would allow him to see how much confusion and frustration bear down on her. Being here alone with him wasn’t the best way to learn more about herself. She’d find Greg or Lucien and get them to help her. Try as she might, everything he did angered and aroused her. It was maddening.
She’d do the best thing for herself and get out of here. Turning toward the door, she took a few steps. He grabbed her hand and she wanted to melt. Jax had to know whenever he touched her it was a way to control her, to make her submit to him. That had to be the reason why he continued to do it. Hildy had to find a way to break the spell he had over her.
“Don’t touch me,” she said, growling and hoping it conveyed anger and not a pitiful Hail Mary to save her heart from inevitable heartbreak.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s an invasion of my space.”
“Is that so? Then turn around and tell me to my face.” His taunt held intrigue and a hint of hope Hildy didn’t want to chance.
“No. Let go so I can get ready to leave. I need to get back home. It’s getting late and I’m not sure I’ll be able to get a ride back.”
“You can spend the night here. There are a few empty rooms you can choose from. I’ll take you back tomorrow.”
“You’ve got an answer for everything, except my questions.”
“That’s not true. You’re so damn stubborn and I want to give you everything you ask for and more. But, you need to allow me to build on what you know so the answers to your questions will come with the right context and understanding. If I were to blurt out the direct answer to your questions about mates and becoming a full Siren, it wouldn’t make sense and might just cause you to take longer to get to that point.”
“So you know better than I do? I’m tired of you telling me what to do. You’re not the boss of me. I’m not some wide-eyed little girl you can order around. Quit trying to act like you’re my older brother. This isn’t some big brother charity case situation we have going on here.”
“Is that so? Then what do you call what we have going on here then?”
“I don’t know. What I do know is that you don’t have to go out of your way to help me. Where Hildy is concerned, I’ve got this. There’s no rescue mission to save a lost innocent.” She knew these were big words but Hildy still couldn’t turn around and say them to his face. Then her fighter’s spirit rose within. She’d throw him off by turning the focus on him as she asked, “How old are you anyway?”
Hesitation at him answering her had Hildy second-guessing her bold actions. If he shut down and refused her, she might break and do something stupid, like apologize for asking.
“I’m twenty-nine. I’ll turn thirty in April. Then my transformation will be complete.”
“Huh—for real? You act more like you’re two.”
“Hah, I guess I deserve that. It’s you. When I’m around you, I admit I do love messing with you. It’s easy and fun to get you riled up.”
She turned around to face him, making her point clear and decision final. Hildy shot back, “That’s neither nice nor called for. As you and everyone have already pointed out, I’m easily angered. What makes you think getting me agitated is fun? Yeah, it’s definitely time I got out of here.”
“Because it makes your eyes come alive. I guess I do it to get a peek at your vibrant energy. You’re a sight to behold when I get a chance to see the real you.”
“So you’re poking the monster, so to speak.”
“Stop that. Stop referring to yourself as a monster, freak or anything else that doesn’t reflect your majesty and beauty.”
“Beauty? Yeah, right, now you’re going too far. You don’t have to try to make me feel better about what you think I am. A Harpy or Siren is still a creature whose greatest skill is being a harbinger of death.”
“For the right cause. You also bring light and healing to those who deserve it. Your voice, spoken to the right person at the right time, can bring life or death.”
“Woohoo. My voice can be weaponized too. This night keeps on giving. Christmas is now struck from my calendar. It will go down as the birth of my biggest nightmare.”
“Why is this a nightmare? I’m here with you and you say it’s your worst Christmas. What am I then?”
“You can be my creepy horror antagonist, like a Jason, Michael, or Freddy.”
“That’s cold. I’m a good guy and all I want to do is be here for you. So why don’t you come back and sit? Let’s talk and take it slower. I promise to be on my best behavior. What do you say?”
“No, it’s getting late and time for me to be getting home.”
“See, that’s what I love and hate about you—your conviction to your word. What do I have to do to get you to change your mind?”
“Let me go without incident. I’d hate to have to explain to your brothers why I kicked your ass and left you up here, beaten and crumpled.”
“That would never happen,” he said, his smooth voice playing with her resolve.
“Why not? I’ve already figured out ten ways to take you down right here, right now.”
His lips formed into a delectable smile and she was powerless to do anything but stare at them. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard to ditch him.
He stepped closer. “I dare you.”
Before it registered, Hi
ldy stepped into him, brought his head down and brushed her lips against his. It wasn’t a full kiss, just enough to throw him off and gain her the upper hand, or so she’d hoped. In an instant, fire and arousal spiked within her, driving her to take more of him, press in harder to connect with him. She did.
With a hand firmly hooked around his neck, Hildy pulled him down farther to make it a true kiss. Her lips pressed against his, allowing her a moment to imprint the feel of his lips on hers. Hildy made a concentrated effort to commit the sensation to memory. He remained still. She was supposed to let go and follow with a disabling blow or take down. This was supposed to be part of her tactic. Now she was snared by her own trap. But, he felt so good.
As if his brain had caught up with what was happening, he opened his mouth, tasting her lips. Heat from his full lips slashed hers as she fell into him. Strong arms encircled her, as they melded together. Breathing became harder, as she continued to seek out the newness of kissing. His tongue pressed against the seam of her lips, darting and retreating, as if looking for entry.
When she pulled back to take in a gulp of air, he advanced, seizing the opportunity. When they collided, she gasped in surprise at the quick switch of their positions. He was now on the offense, holding her tightly to him.
In the artificial light of the night that intertwined with shadows, his eyes were dark and cloudy. Uh-oh, that might not be good. Maybe she’d gone too far with this. Again, her eyes betrayed her, as they locked on his lips again. He drew in ragged breaths, as they both continued to regain breath from that long kiss. It was her first and it was more than anything she could have fantasized about. Kissing Jax had done something to her entire being. She wanted him and wanted to do what it took to spend more time with him. Leaving him was the last thing she wanted to do now.
His mouth was here for the plundering and she took full advantage. Grabbing him back down to her, Hildy opened her mouth and brought him in. She didn’t know what to do, allowing instinct to guide her. His tongue invaded her mouth, seeking and toying with her own. She groaned from the overload of sensations.
Outside sounds took a back seat to the heartbeats that thumped loud in her head. His scent, masculine and invigorating, enslaved her. He pulled her into him, crushing her body against his. Everywhere their bodies touched, it sizzled and wound her deeper into him. Fire, mixed with extreme want, slinked into her being. Her leg found itself wrapped around his, seeking more connection.
Again, and again, his delicious tongue darted into her mouth, engaging them in a sensual battle. She parried, toying with him and daring him to make bolder moves. Jax pulled her into him more, wrapping her arms around his massive back as he covered her with his own body. Deeper she fell into his trap. If this was only a counter-strike to her initial move to throw him off, she was doomed. This had quickly turned into something real for her. There was no way Hildy would be able to deny the truth of this kiss. She’d fallen quick and hard for Jax.
His taste was better than the finest meal. She couldn’t get enough. Hungrily responding to him, Hildy relaxed more into it, allowing herself to go where he led. More and more his tongue danced with hers. She’d imagined kissing over the years and this was completely different. What they did now turned her imaginary kiss into a weak imitation. This sensual “in real life” kiss rocked her to the core.
Every part of her body hummed with excitement with an insatiable need for more of him. Way past craving, Hildy itched to have him inside her. A new part of her opened to blossom. Only one directive made any sense—get him inside her, stat. Her sex throbbed and ached for him. Pressing in more, she ran a hand up and into the nape of his hair to grab a handful. This time he groaned. She swallowed it, loving how the vibrations tickled the back of her throat.
Visions of being surrounded by him in pleasure flooded her. She arched into him as his hand moved up and down her back, pulling out a cry from deep within her. Need and desire pranced to the forefront as Hildy clung to him in surrender. With each breath, locked in this embrace with him, she grew bolder. Everything that had made her shy and reclusive was cast in a new light.
No more. She wanted life—she wanted this and Jax. Returning the gesture, she thrust her tongue into his mouth, enjoying how it startled him for a split second. His rebound was quick as he welcomed her in.
The gentle push didn’t register at first. When it grew more forceful, followed by a “We’ve got to stop,” Hildy didn’t understand the words.
That far gone into him, she couldn’t process his rejection in a timely manner. It wasn’t until he said, “Hildy, stop. This can’t happen, not like this,” did she recoil and retreat.
“Oh! I see,” was the feeble response she could muster. Rejection slashed an angry whip across her chest, gashing her heart open. The raw pain was so intense; she couldn’t catch her breath. Struggling to regain the rhythm for breathing she stumbled backward. The space wasn’t enough to get away from him, the shame, and embarrassment she felt.
“Hildy, I—”
“No, don’t. I’m leaving. Please excuse my actions I didn’t mean to—I misunderstood—I’m…”
The creek of the heavy metal door opening was the lifeline she needed. Closer to that door, she took advantage of her speed to race toward it. Distraught from the supreme rejection, Hildy didn’t see Lucien and Greg coming through until it was too late. She collided into Lucien.
“Let me go. I need to get out of here. Let go of me now,” she pleaded.
“There, there. I’ve got you,” Lucien’s voice said, landing on her like a confirmed hit. The last thing she wanted was an audience and to be exposed for making a stupid pass at Jax. Lucien didn’t release her, pulling her into his massive chest in a death grip. “What did you do, Jax? Answer me now!” His voice sounded more like a roar than human. And the heat was more intense than Jax, almost too hot. She couldn’t breathe.
Her fight response kicked in as she finagled to get a fist to Lucien’s chest. “I can’t breathe. Too hot. Can’t breathe. Let go of me,” she managed to get out.
“Let go of her, you’re smothering her,” she heard Jax say to his brother. Once Lucien released that prison grip he had on her, Jax continued, “It’s my fault. I startled and upset her.”
“What did you do to make her so upset? I knew it was too soon to let you two be alone. What did you say? Look at her, she’s shaking. Jax, answer now,” Greg said, moving Hildy to stand behind them.
“That’s between Hildy and me. I didn’t do anything to harm her, I promise.”
Both Lucien and Greg turned to her. “Is that correct?” Lucien asked, the soft tone back in his voice.
What should she do? Had to think fast. There was no way she’d be able to withstand their knowing she’d come on to Jax. Bruised emotions and rejection drove her instead of the physical harm they thought Jax may have inflicted. Cornered and anxious, her body gave up the battle. It was too late. She heard the last part of her dignity leave as her body shifted, allowing her wings to sprout as her talons grew. The force of her wings spouting ripped her bra apart and sweater to shreds. Usually she prepared for it, wearing clothes she’d fashioned to accommodate her special bodily needs. Now she was exposed and humiliated.
“Uh, Luc, get her, she’s about to fly off,” Greg said.
“No, she’s mine. I’ve got her,” Jax said, warning clear in his response.
“Then you’d better do something fast,” Greg said.
She’d shifted in front of them. Exposed for what she was and naked from the waist up, it was confirmed that this was the worst nightmare ever. Too busy attempting to pull herself back together enough to shift back, she paid little attention to what was going on around them. It was too late for her to do anything but surrender when Jax embraced her, using his shirt to cover her breasts.
Too much. The dam broke. All those years of holding back the tears, ignoring the swell of emotions and swallowing the hurt wouldn’t be denied tonight. The wail that escaped her, was deep, l
ong and mournful.
“Hildy, are you all right? I’m so sorry. I know you’re pissed with me,” Jax said, searching her for an injury or some other issue. She couldn’t speak for all the loud, ugly crying she was trapped in. She did manage to see a bit of panic on his face. “Look, precious one, I apologize so much. I could have handled that better, but for now, let me get you inside and covered before we continue this discussion. Okay?”
She was too overwhelmed to do much more than nod her agreement.
16
Jax ushered her back down the stairs to the third floor of the building.
“Almost there, I’ve got you,” he cooed in her ear, as they navigated the hallway and into a set of rooms.
Inside, it was neat and masculine. Nothing screamed hard, but nothing said soft either. If she had to give it a theme, that would be functional comfort. Jax deposited her into a welcoming brown recliner. Zapped of energy from her spontaneous shift, Hildy sat where he’d left her and zoned out a little. Next he was in front of her at eye level, shoving a flannel shirt in front of her.
“Hildy, there you are, love,” he said in a soft voice as he tucked a stray piece of her wild hair behind her ear. “I need you to sit up, so you can put this on. It’s one of my shirts, and should keep you warm.”
Detached from the moment, she did as he instructed. There was one saving grace, her body had regained enough control to shift back. After he’d helped her button the shirt up, she flopped back into the chair, still too exhausted to move. He didn’t make her do anything. He went about the various rooms, of what looked to be a suite, doing things here and there. She heard a shower go on in the distance. Then he was back and picking her up.
“You’re in shock. I need to get you warmed up and back in your body. Come, take a shower and you’ll feel better. I’ve got a pair of my workout sweats ready for when you finish up.”
Hildy nodded. Jax took her into a surprisingly nice bathroom. The shower was new and a spacious walk in. Placing her on her feet, he stepped in to check the temperature. When he was done, he turned to her with a questioning look.
Ajax's Harpy Holiday: Dragofin Mated: Book 1 (A Dragon-Gyphon Shifter Curvy Paranormal-Fantasy-Scifi Romance Series) (Dragonfin Clan Mated) Page 9