‘The sedim pronounced the portal as safe,’ Pellaz said.
Tharmifex shook his head, expressed a sigh. ‘And yet there was a young har from Freygard in our infirmary who patently discovered that was not the case. The Freyhellan took a long time to heal, Pell. Our healers could find no cause for his malady.’
‘I accept security was lax,’ Pellaz said, ‘and that we should now apply ourselves, through every means possible, to discovering what happened. I have lost a son, Tharmifex. Another son. You can be sure I intend to put every resource behind this investigation.’ Pellaz was far from pleased Tharmifex was speaking to him in this manner in front of Velaxis. It was inappropriate. Perhaps Tharmifex deliberately wanted to discomfort the Tigron. Pellaz managed to catch Eyra’s eye again, briefly. The Listener blinked and shook his head, almost imperceptibly. He wasn’t happy about being present at this meeting either.
‘You will, of course, attempt to contact the Kamagrian, Lileem Sarestes,’ Tharmifex said.
‘I…’ Pellaz frowned. ‘Why would I do that? Cal will communicate with Thiede. That should be enough.’
‘Lileem took Ponclast into her custody,’ Tharmifex said. ‘I think at the very least he should be interrogated about this matter. Many of his hara escaped Fulminir, including two of his sons: Diablo, and the harling of Abrimel. We still have enemies out there somewhere. Part of me wonders whether, in fact, Ponclast should be brought back to this realm, kept in captivity here.’
‘That’s impossible,’ Pellaz said. ‘You can’t just go in and out of the realm Lileem discovered. She’s different to hara. She possesses abilities none of us have. Ponclast is like us. He’s quite safe there.’
Tharmifex was clearly in no mood to be deterred. ‘But perhaps we’re dealing with creatures who are more like Lileem than like us. I personally don’t relish the prospect of somehar, or something, freeing Ponclast from his prison. And that is something we should consider deeply.’
Velaxis cleared his throat and turned to Pellaz. ‘I think perhaps you should try to speak to Lileem, tiahaar,’ he said.
‘Do you? And of what use is your advice to me?’ Pellaz glared at Tharmifex. ‘I’ll be honest, tiahaar. I object to the fact that your clerk is present at this meeting, when my consort is forbidden to attend.’
‘Object all you wish,’ Tharmifex said mildly. ‘Tiahaar Shiraz is of more use to you than you know. I trust his judgment and so should you. I will speak to Calanthe separately. You must appreciate that my prime concern is Gelaming security. And I am very concerned. If an enemy has taken Loki, we can only conjecture about what they want from him. Hostage, ransom, or perhaps a source of information. Of all the Aralisians, he is the most vulnerable, because of his age.’
‘I know that.’
‘Eyra, your Listeners need better training,’ Tharmifex said.
Eyra raised his hands. ‘We will do whatever we can to improve our service.’
Tharmifex nodded. ‘Good. Pellaz, I would like you to speak to Lileem about this matter, and will ask Cal to do the same with Thiede. If we have these powers floating about in etheric realms, it’s about time we made proper use of them, otherwise they’re pointless. The Kamagrian claims that all knowledge resides in this library she discovered. Well, you should encourage her to do rather more research. I will, of course, also contact the Kamagrian leader, Opalexian.’
‘Tharmifex,’ Pellaz said, his patience fraying, ‘that would not be helpful. If Opalexian knew anything about this, she would have contacted me. None of our psychics have picked up anything, not even Snake and Cobweb, who I consider to be more in tune with our needs than Opalexian. We should deal with this ourselves, but if you want me to communicate with Lileem, I’ll try. However, I can’t guarantee success. The conditions required for that communication are… difficult.’
‘You have Cal, your soul mate,’ Tharmifex said. ‘Take that superior kind of aruna with him. I’d have thought it would be very easy for you.’
‘For some reason, you are angry with me,’ Pellaz said, ‘which I don’t think helps this situation. I’ll do what I can. Please remember that when I was in contact with Lileem before, it was under certain circumstances. I’ve had no contact since.’
‘Then try,’ Tharmifex said. ‘If you fail, we must contact Opalexian. We know that when hara and parazha come together, they can create portals. Perhaps the time approaches for that to be explored.’
‘Opalexian would never agree to that.’
‘We all share this world,’ Tharmifex said. ‘It’s about time Opalexian woke up to that fact, and Thiede and Lileem accepted that they’ve chosen, in whatever obscure way, to remain part of our reality. Yes, I am angry. I’m angry with all the whimsical nonsense I see around me. I see fog, clouds, puzzles, half-answered questions and mysteries. I want facts, action and sense. You should want them too. Contact Lileem, and find out what she thinks is happening. I believe it’s time for her to return to us. If she’s learned anything, both Kamagrian and Wraeththu need her knowledge. She can’t hide away in her studies any longer.’
‘I think perhaps you place too much importance on…’ Pellaz began.
Tharmifex raised an impatient hand. ‘I know what’s important and what isn’t. We can’t just accept the things we experienced seven years ago. We have to question, seek answers, and arm ourselves with information. If we simply dither along the way we’ve been doing, we could regret it. There’s nothing else to say. You know what you have to do.’
Pellaz stood up and bowed. ‘I’ll take that as dismissal, then, tiahaar.’
‘Do!’ Tharmifex turned to Eyra. ‘And you can go too. Have all of your Listeners working constantly. I don’t want anything occurring in the realms, to which we do have access, without knowing about it.’
Once they had escaped Tharmifex’s presence, Eyra rubbed his hands over his face. ‘I’ve never seen Thar that angry. He’s like a different har.’
‘He’s worried,’ Pellaz said, ‘and most of what he said is right. I’ll do as he suggests. It would help me if you could contact Galhea, bring them into the picture. I’d do it myself but…’ Pellaz sighed. ‘I need to devote myself fully to the Lileem issue.’
Eyra clasped Pell’s right shoulder. ‘No, don’t worry. I’ll do that for you, of course.’
Pellaz had traveled to his own inner space many times with Galdra, but now he wondered if he could remember how he’d done it. He had memories of the experience, but the concentrated feeling had gone. Also, at the time, Lileem had been trying to make contact with him too. The intense energy surrounding the whole Fulminir episode had meant that even inexperienced hara, like Tyson and Moon Parasiel, had been able to emulate what Pellaz and Galdra had done. But the energy had dissipated, and circumstances were now very different.
That evening, Pellaz asked Cal to come to his private apartments and there told him what they had to do. Cal had undergone his own interview with Tharmifex, which surprisingly had not been as caustic as the one Pellaz had endured. ‘Tharmifex is right,’ Cal said. ‘We have to do everything we can to find Loki, and discover the reasons behind his abduction.’
‘Have you communicated with Thiede?’
Cal frowned. ‘No. The channels to his realm are closed. I can only presume he feels under threat himself. It’s rare I can’t reach him.’
‘I think Tharmifex feels something similar to Fulminir is about to happen,’ Pellaz said, ‘but I can’t feel that way. The fact is, I don’t know what is happening. We have one strange phenomenon and the abduction of a young har.’
‘Hmm,’ Cal murmured. ‘Another abduction. It might be that the delightful creature who took Rue’s pearl is responsible for Loki’s disappearance too. Pell…’
‘What?’
‘There is another Aralisian heir, you know that.’
‘Abrimel is safely in confinement. I’m sure we’d have heard if he’d disappeared too.’
‘I didn’t mean him. I meant… the harling he had with Ponclast.’
‘Yes, Tharmifex mentioned him too.’
‘Ponclast’s son Diablo fled with the harling. Abrimel told us that under interrogation. Diablo took Rue’s pearl. It seems pretty clear to me he’s involved in Loki’s disappearance.’
Pellaz raised his arms in exasperation. ‘And what does Diablo want? His hostling reinstated? The downfall of the Gelaming? He has no army, Cal. He’s an addled freak. If he’s responsible, then you and Thiede should be able to track him down.’
‘I think the guard should be doubled on Abrimel,’ Cal said. ‘I think Eyra should put a Listener near him.’
‘That makes sense. I’ll see to it at once.’
Cal sighed. ‘Diablo might be an addled freak, but he might also still be in contact with Ponclast’s erstwhile allies. They could simply be waiting for another chance.’
Pellaz felt a cold wave course through his body. ‘Cal, Rue’s pearl… where is the harling? Thiede hid him away, but where? He needs protection too.’
‘I can’t tell you because I don’t know. Thiede didn’t tell me. It was best that way.’
‘And now you can’t contact Thiede.’
‘That harling was… well, I know Thiede was right to tell us to forget about him. That’s his greatest protection.’
‘I wish I could be as sure about that as you are.’
Cal took Pellaz in his arms. ‘I know. Go and send a message to Eyra, then come back to me. Let’s go to the realm of dreams together. We’ll solve this thing, I know we will.’
But intentions and certainty are sometimes not enough. A har can conjure up the most intense feelings; he can soar through the ethers on silver wings in the arms of aruna’s sweet waves. He can take it to its furthest point, when the cauldron of creation opens and potential for life comes flooding through. What he finds beyond that portal can barely be described in words. Pellaz achieved those things. He went into himself, to the dark pulsing core of his own being. He could prevent conception as easily as he ever could, but there was no way he could project himself beyond that space, as he’d once been able to do. There was no Lileem, and no way to call her.
Pellaz wanted to keep trying, at least for several days, but a message came from Tharmifex’s office the very next day, demanding a report. It arrived while the Tigrons were still taking breakfast together in Pell’s apartment. Outside the day was somewhat overcast and drizzly; an uncommon phenomenon in Immanion.
‘He’ll want to contact Opalexian,’ Pellaz said glumly to Cal. ‘She’ll be furious. You know what she’s like.’
‘Mmm,’ Cal murmured, ‘don’t I just.’
‘She won’t do anything to help.’
‘No.’
‘We’ll just have to continue ourselves and let Thar do what he wants.’
‘Perhaps.’
‘What does that mean?’
Cal leaned back in his chair. ‘It might not be your fault… I mean, maybe I’m just the wrong har for the job.’
‘Whatever you’re thinking, don’t voice it,’ Pellaz said darkly.
Cal ducked his head, stuck out his lower lip. ‘Why not? What’s your problem if I don’t have one? Loki is Galdra’s son too. Perhaps you and he should be the ones to penetrate Lileem’s realm, or rather maybe you are the combination that would work. I have no great love for the Freyhellan, you know that, but I have wondered recently – since spending some time with him – whether my absence during the Fulminir crisis was somehow preordained. You two did wondrous things together, even I can see that. Perhaps it wouldn’t have happened if…’
Pellaz didn’t want to hear this, not least because part of him agreed with it. His feelings for Galdra were too complicated. ‘Cal, shut up. I can’t do that. It’s too prickly an area. Galdra is in love with me. He’ll read all sorts of things into it if I offered that kind of invitation. I couldn’t bear it.’
Cal laughed. ‘Now, taking aruna with a har who hates you: I can understand the ‘no’ factor in that, but…’
‘No it is. Leave it.’
‘You shouldn’t feel guilty, Pell. Remember my relationship with Terzian. We’re all grown up now. You don’t owe me anything.’
Pellaz was silent, only too aware how accurate Cal’s aim had been with those remarks.
‘I want Loki back,’ Cal said. ‘I’d do anything to achieve that. Anything. He’s not my biological son, but he’s the child of my heart. I think I care more for him than anyhar. Call Galdra to Immanion, Pell. Do it.’ He paused. ‘Please.’
Cal was not the only har in Immanion who’d had that idea. Pellaz went again to Tharmifex’s office, once more finding Velaxis in attendance. He reported the bare facts: no success. He waited for Tharmifex to start talking about Opalexian, and was therefore unprepared for the Hegemony Chancellor’s next remark. ‘You could, of course, attempt to repeat the procedure with Galdra har Freyhella.’
‘Politically, that might be unwise,’ Pellaz said.
‘Perhaps, but I think the ends would justify the means in this case, don’t you?’
‘Cal thinks Diablo, Ponclast’s son, is responsible for the abduction.’
Tharmifex nodded abruptly. ‘I know. Eyra told me of your communication last night. Security has been increased around Abrimel’s accommodation.’ He paused. ‘Well, shall I send a message to Freygard or will you?’
Pellaz glanced at Velaxis, furious he was present. The Hegemony clerk was staring at his hands, which were folded in his lap; a picture of polite decorum. The sight made Pellaz grit his teeth. ‘Cal has expressed a similar suggestion,’ Pellaz said. ‘He believes we should do whatever we can to help Loki. I’m not happy with this, but very well. If it requires Grissecon with the Freyhellan, then I’ll do it. I’ve done it before, so it’s not beyond me to do it again.’
‘Grissecon?’ Velaxis looked up and spoke for the first time. He was frowning. ‘You don’t need to do that.’
‘Your puppy is barking,’ Pellaz said to Tharmifex.
‘Do you have something to say, Velaxis?’ Tharmifex asked.
‘Just that this is not a matter of Grissecon. The Tigron and the Freyhellan should simply do what they did before, and that was not part of a public ritual.’
‘I agree,’ Tharmifex said.
Pellaz felt sick. He thought he could just about cope with a formal, unemotional form of aruna with Galdra, but anything private would be excruciating. He dreaded what Galdra might say, and also how his own body might react in the heat of the moment. Then he’d have to dread what he himself might say. Perhaps Cal could be part of it. ‘This must be discussed,’ he managed to say. ‘You send Galdra the message and ask him to come here. Don’t explain the purpose of the meeting. I’d prefer that to be revealed once he’s here. Simply say we require his help in a procedure to locate Loki.’
Tharmifex nodded. ‘Of course.’ He paused. ‘Lileem might be our only strong ally in any unpleasantness to come. I heard Thiede is not communicating at the moment, either.’
‘Yes. Cal fears that Thiede is under threat.’ Pellaz looked Tharmifex in the eye. ‘Will you still send word to Opalexian?’
‘No. For now, I’ll keep her out of it. I’ll send a message to one of our Listeners in Freygard at once. If the response is favorable, and I know it will be, Velaxis will go there directly with sedu transport for Galdra. He will be here by later today.’
‘No time to catch my breath, then,’ Pellaz said lightly.
Tharmifex smiled, a little grimly. ‘Time to put away old weapons, perhaps,’ he said. ‘Lay down your arms, Pell. Galdra didn’t take Cal’s place, despite the wishes of some who’d have liked to see him at your side. Don’t blame him for the aspirations of others. We both know he had no desire for the throne of Immanion. There was only one desire he had.’
‘Thank you for that insight,’ Pellaz said dryly. ‘If you need me presently, I’ll be out with Peridot. I won’t go beyond easy communication distance.’
Peridot carried Pellaz out into the hills behind the city. Here,
the soft rain hissed down like mist. Pellaz asked Peridot to halt at a high vantage point and from there he watched the sea. He remembered the glorious day when he’d ridden down to the docks to see the Freyhellan fleet arrive for the first time in Immanion. Today, the sea was sullen and heaving. The sound of waves crashing against the rocks was audible even from here.
Peridot, must I do this thing? Speak to me. Where is Loki? Help me now.
Peridot tossed his head. Calanthe is right. The har Diablo is involved, but all is not clear to us, not clear at all. Loki is alive, but he walks towards a very strange light. Its radiance is alluring to him. Sweet child, you must do as your heart dictates, even though you bar the door firmly upon its insistent demands. Didn’t I once tell you that you had much to learn from the brother to the wolf and the hare? Don’t be afraid of your heart, Pellaz. There are many fires at which you can warm your cold flesh.
Some fires burn too hot, Peridot. I am afraid of what I feel in the presence of Galdra har Freyhella. He is not my Cal. I don’t want Galdra to become too alluring a light. I don’t trust myself. How can that be?
Pellaz could feel the sedu’s warm laughter rather than hear it. You ask me, a creature beyond all hara and humans, that? What makes you think a sedu knows how to love?
Angels know how to love, Peridot. I have felt it. I felt it at Fulminir when your brothers fell around you.
I know you intimately, beloved, as you apparently know me! All I can tell you is to follow your heart. Ultimately, such truth cannot lead to pain. What you and Cal enjoy was forged in fire and blood; it cannot be broken by any living thing. But perhaps you must be more generous of yourself.
That’s it. Perhaps I can’t be that generous. I resent the fact that Galdra will be overjoyed if he knew the way I felt. I don’t understand myself. His adoration irritates me, even as I sometimes yearn for those days we spent together.
The Ghosts of Blood and Innocence Page 16