by Dora Bramden
He led the field for the entire race, now there was one last bend before the straight to the finish line. This was the time his opponents would look to challenge his lead with death defying risk taking. He went into the last bend at a decreasing speed. He twisted the wheel round into correct alignment. A trickle of sweat rolled down the side of his nose during the mere seconds it took to navigate the corner. Noting the changing pitch of the car’s body, the speed of entry, application of brake pressure, and adjustment after minuscule adjustment, slowed the seconds down to slow motion.
Go deep. Don’t get shaky. You own it.
His mind sharpened and handed snappy decisions to his body, arms and fingers. They responded in synch.
He gravitated to the spot that would give him the inside edge of the turn. The car behind would be waiting to steal first place in a slingshot move as he came out of the bend and headed to the outer edge of the track. The speed he was going meant it was a hundredth of a second timing to keep the car from flipping if he maintained a tight corner exit. He opted for the safe option but even that held its risks. His car held on as he added gas and speared out of the corner. His pounding heart leaped as he thumped the wheel with elation. He’d judged it perfectly. The car, the road, the curve, the gas, even the feel of the tires where they met the bitumen had been in his blood. He took the high side of the road and as predicted, the following car sped past on the inside.
He chased it up the straight toward the checkered flag, gunned the gas and made up time. The tires would be able to take it because he’d saved rubber on the last corner. He pulled around the lead car and drew up beside him, but it wouldn’t be enough. The checkered flag waved and Alessandro was half a second behind him.
He’d flirted with death in the past and didn’t die, but he had more than his own life on the line now. Second place on the track meant first place in life with Katrina and Alex. That was so much more important than winning another championship. The risks he took now would be off the track. In one respect it would be greater than any ever taken before. He risked his heart.
Alessandro had been home in Castello Rinaldo for less than half an hour when the maid coughed at the doorway interrupting his welcome home kiss with Katrina. He’d greeted his son, his mother and sister and impatiently grabbed her hand and led her to their sitting room.
“Yes, what is it?”
“Zio has arrived and I’ve shown him into your study as you requested.”
“Bene, I’ll be right there.”
“Why is your Uncle here?”
“I called him from the plane there’s some things I need to go over with him.”
“Oh I see.”
She sounded disappointed and he couldn’t blame her. The last thing he wanted to do was put her aside right now and go have it out with Zio but he needed to get some answers. She probably thought he was putting business before her again but this would be the last time and soon he would be able to clear up all of Zio’s meddling. He released Katrina from his embrace with extreme reluctance. Kissing the woman he cared for more than anything and having that woman want him back was exhilarating.
“You’re different,” she said as he touched her cheek.
“I know, I’ll be back as soon as I can. Then we have to talk.”
Alessandro found Zio pacing up and down.
“At last,’ said Zio as he flung his hands in the air.
“I want to clear something up with you Zio, it’s about my wife and son.”
“Si, si a mess you’ve gotten into. You want me to fix things again for you.”
“No!” Alessandro slammed his palm on the desk. “That’s the last thing I want. They are my family and I will be taking care of my family from now on.”
“And how do you plan to do that. You’re never here. I look after your mother and sister while you run around the world.”
Zio was obviously not pleased at being summoned. He was used to making orders. But now he had to get used to a new dynamic. Alessandro would be taking care of the family from now on, just as he had been taking care of the family business.
“Not anymore. It’s time my family came first. After the season is over, I’ll find a new driver for the team. I’m going to focus on the engineering side and running the company full time. I’ll make sure everyone is cared for.”
“You can’t even manage your life. You had a son and didn’t even know about it. You can’t make up for the past. This happy family isn’t going to last. You’ll tire of her and your child as you tire of everything. It’ll break your mother’s heart when she leaves you and takes the child back to Australia.”
“I won’t tire of the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
His Uncle looked shocked but recovered. “But do you really mean it? That’s easily said but not so easily achieved. She left you once before.” His Uncle flicked his hands out as if to say, there’s nothing more to say.
Alessandro kept his rising temper banked. He needed to find out what his uncle knew about the night Katrina left. He hoped to find answers that would help him change her mind and make her want to stay.
“Yes, Katrina left me. I know that. What I didn’t know was that she came looking for me before she went. She found you instead. Why didn’t you tell me she came to see you?”
“I assumed you’d broken it off with her. I wasn’t going to raise a painful subject.”
“You should have said something. She came to you, looking for me.”
“You really didn’t know?”
“How would I know? I didn’t speak to her until I found out about the baby.” Alessandro gritted his teeth. Patience with his uncle had run out but he kept his voice even. He had to find out exactly what damage his uncle had done. “What did you say to her?”
Zio leaned forward and put his head in his hands. His elbows rested on the desk. “Alessandro. Why didn’t you tell me you’d gotten her pregnant?”
“Because I didn’t know.”
Zio whistled through his teeth. “Mamma mia, this is a terrible business.” I assumed you knew and that’s why you took off.”
“What does that mean? Uncle, I want answers now.” His fists slammed down on the palm of his hand. “Why didn’t you tell me Katrina came to see you and how did you know she was pregnant? She told me she didn’t tell you.”
“Katrina had the look of a desperate woman, a look I’ve seen before. I assumed she was pregnant, that she’d told you but didn’t want to talk about it with me.”
“And what precisely did you say to her?”
“I told her the truth about you.” Zio pursed his lips, just like Alessandro’s mother did when she was guilty about something she’d said or done but was too proud to admit it.
“That could mean anything. If you don’t want me to throttle you right now you’d better give me the wretched details. I can tell by your face it isn’t good.”
“Fine, if you insist. I told her not to waste her time with you because you have a girlfriend every couple of months. Rubbish picked up on the track. Not marriageable women from a decent family. Not like your mother. You bring dishonor to all of us parading around getting your picture taken with the putane.”
“What did you call her!” Alessandro’s face flamed hot, his muscles bunched.
“I didn’t call her anything. I called the other women putane, the ones that hang around the track. Katrina never did that.”
“She said you offered her money.” His voice was low and dangerous like a jaguar defending its territory.
“To help. To help her!” Wide-eyed, Zio shook his head.
Alessandro growled again and closed his eyes. He’d never been so angry with Zio before. A hand touched his shoulder he spun around ready to lash out. Katrina stood there. Her face devoid of color made something pinch in his chest.
“How long have you been here?”
Her pale face worried him. What had she heard that was being this minute misconstrued?
“Not long, your mama sent me.
She wants to see your uncle after you finish your business meeting.”
“Are you all right?”
She looked torn about what to do. “Yes, sort of.”
“Please don’t worry about what you’ve heard. I will explain everything later. I have so much to tell you. Can you wait just a little while?”
He had to make sure Zio hadn’t done anything else.”
“I’ll go but…” She looked at Zio “I see that you wanted to help me, I believed you’d sent me away because I wasn’t the wife you wanted for Alessandro.”
“NO! I never thought that. I was doing the best I could. I thought Alessandro had abandoned you,” Zio said.
Alessandro wanted to hit himself, hard. His pride his ego deflated and what was left he didn’t like. An irresponsible scared man was what he saw.
“I did abandon you, Katrina. I walked out when I should have stayed. I’m the reason I lost you, and my son.”
Her mouth dropped open. Tears welled in her pretty eyes.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I can see that you really are.”
Sometimes he wasn’t in control of himself when racing. He let instinct take over; this was the time he did things no one had ever managed to pull off on the track before. Instinct had made him a champion. Instinct had lost Katrina. He understood now why Katrina left. Zio nailed the coffin shut, but he’d put their relationship in it.
“A race car can be damaged but no matter what has happened, a car can be repaired or a new one built, sometimes better than the original. I want to believe we can rebuild our relationship, better than it was before. Think of our son,” Alessandro told her. He took both her hands and squeezed them.
Her small warm hands held his for a minute and her troubled eyes blinked back tears.
“Maybe, we’ll see. But you need to calm down and finish talking to Zio. I’ll wait for you.”
Alessandro unclenched his hands.
Zio patted Alessandro’s back. “I know the two of you need to talk. Katrina, can you wait just a couple of minutes and please tell my sister I’ll be there pronto,” said Zio.
“Okay, come and find me when you finish,” she said to Alessandro.
She left the door open when she went out. Alessandro closed it and turned back to his uncle. The fury he had for himself outdid his fury at Zio. His gut clenched and churned. He hadn’t even sent Katrina a text in the last two years to see if she was all right. He’d been consumed with his own hurt and rage at being left. His pride, no self preservation had stopped him going after her. Self rage boiled in his brain obliterating his ability to think straight
“What did Katrina say two years ago in the office?”
“She said she was going home to Australia. I offered her some money and warned, if she was pregnant, not to name you on her baby’s birth certificate without DNA confirmation.”
“Dio, what possessed you to say that. She was pregnant with my child. Zio, what have you done?”
“This is a child you told me nothing about. If it were yours, I would have known about it. This wasn’t the first time a woman claimed you fathered a child that wasn’t yours. “That lady made an honest mistake. It was a very hard time finding out the baby wasn’t mine. I was very young and I appreciated your support. But I’m not eighteen anymore.”
“I could see how much you loved Katrina when you married her. For you to walk out on her I thought the child must be someone else’s.”
“You asked my wife for a DNA test. No wonder she ran and never looked back. No wonder she doesn’t want Alex to be brought up in this family.”
“I agreed to this marriage and to keeping it secret from my sister because I hoped you’d settle down. It seems I was right. Even though Katrina left you, getting married settled you. You’ve taken over a lot more of the running of the company from me when I couldn’t manage it all anymore. The last two years you’ve stopped partying, and taken your responsibilities seriously. Are you ready to do that for your wife and child?”
“Ahhhhrrrahhh!” Alessandro slammed the table with his fists. “I’m doing everything in my power to do that. No more meddling, Zio. You aren’t to keep anything from me regarding my business or my family. Katrina is my family and was the day I married her. She was my wife and should have had the support of my family. If she talks to you, you tell me about it. Got it.”
“Sì, sì, Alessandro. Calm down. But this is in the past, all is well. She is here together with you and your child.” Zio held up both hands, palms facing Alessandro. His brow creased with concern. “Today I have seen the man I hoped you would become. This defense of your woman is that which I can admire.”
“You’d better hope I can convince her to forgive the past and stay. Now you must go and see Mamma. She’s been asking for you.”
Katrina wiped her hands on the apron. She offered to cook the meal that night and Maria jumped at the chance to have more time to play with Alex. She slid the spinach and ricotta pie she’d made onto the oven rack and closed the door. Making it had given her time to go over the events she’d overheard in Alessandro’s office. Alessandro talking loudly to Zio. He’d been so angry, blaming Zio for her leaving him but then realized it was his actions that caused it. But hearing him say she was the only woman he’d ever loved, affected her the most. She’d needed to get away to compose jarring emotions.
The avalanche of happiness, pure joy and dread that it wasn’t true bore down on her. She needed some time to dig herself out. He might have exaggerated his feelings to make a point with his Uncle but his action since arriving home, reminded her of when they first fell in love. That had started out so happily but it hadn’t lasted. But she really wanted to believe he’d come to realize that he cared for her in a long lasting and deep way. If that was the case, it would change everything. But how could she be sure?
She closed the bedroom doors and went to the sitting area in the bay window overlooking the garden. Below her, Alex and his Aunty Maria played chase around the garden beds. His little legs pumped up and down. He squealed and laughed as Maria pretended to catch him but let him escape.
Katrina hated having to take Alex away from an aunt and grandmother so soon. They obviously loved him so much. He was forming a bond with them that would last their lifetimes. Neither did she like taking him away from his father until she absolutely had to for her work. But she wished Alessandro lived a different life.
Sometimes he was a man who behaved with all their best interests at heart and loved her son deeply. Alex might have what she always wanted him to have, a family that loved and adored him. Even Zio, had acted out of a mistaken idea of what was best for herself and Alessandro. When she arrived to deliver Cristina’s message, she’d overheard him say he only offered money to help her.
The Alessandro she knew now was a man who took his responsibilities seriously indeed, so seriously that he recognized what would be required if he had a child. He didn’t want that for himself and yet he’d stepped up.
Alex squeaked in pure delight as Maria caught him this time and lifted him into her arms. She kissed him. Something made her look up and catch Katrina watching from the window. She waved and pointed Katrina out to Alex. He waved his little chubby arm. “Mamma, Mamma.”
She waved back. Her little boy needed huge decisions made for him that could change the course of his life – decisions that rested on her shoulders. What if she made the wrong choices? Should she be trying to make them alone? Alessandro was here, a father who wanted to have a say in his son’s welfare.
Perhaps Maria might be able to give her some insight into what happened in Alessandro’s past that made him wary of having children. Katrina joined them outside in the garden. Alex wiggled free of Maria and ran to Katrina. She hugged him and kissed his hands. He giggled.
“The pie for dinner is in the oven,” she told Maria.
“Grazie for doing that for me. I want to spend as much time as I can with my nephew. You will be leaving again soon, I think.”
“That’s the plan at the moment. Alessandro is very busy, too busy perhaps for raising a son.”
“Give him time. He’s only just found out about Alex and has bonded with him so strongly. Imagine what he’ll be like in a year from now.”
“It’s true, he does enjoy playing with him but raising a child requires much more of a parent than being a good playmate.”
“Sì, like I said, he just needs some time.” Maria clapped her hands at Alex.
He laughed and tried to copy her.
I know Alessandro fathered a son before but it turned out not to be his. Would you be comfortable talking to me about that?
Maria’s happy face dissolved.
“It was a very hard time for the family. The little boy was adored. Losing him was like a death in the family. Alessandro dated a lot of women after that but refused to get serious with anyone, until you. When you left Italy, he went into a shell and didn’t come out. Seeing him being open and warm with Alex and you are like a miracle. I can’t tell you how much his mamma and I hope you stay in his life this time.”
Taking Alex away would hurt his family again. Katrina wanted to further Alex’s connection with the Italian family who adored him.
“I want to try and make it work, for Alex to be a part of Alessandro’s life.”
“It would make us very happy.”
“Can you watch Alex a little longer for me?’
“Of course, I love to do it.”
She needed to speak to Alessandro about the loss of the child he’d bonded to. It could explain why he hadn’t wanted to have children.
She found Alessandro in his study. He was on the phone.
“Can I talk to you A.S.A.P.” She spoke quietly but exaggeratedly mouthed the words.
“He nodded and held up two fingers, then pointed to the sitting room.”
She went there and waited. It was five minutes of waiting and she remembered the pie. It would be okay. The oven was programmed to turn itself off at the end of the cooking cycle.