I relayed the conversation from him, feeling my chest tighten when I mentioned Courtney telling me I wouldn’t be a part of their child’s life. The realization that my brother was potentially moving across the country just to get away from me made me feel like shit. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how my father would react once he found out if Malcolm actually decided to go.
“Damn, man. Dealing with family can be hard. Most people don’t understand that sex addiction is a real thing. They think it’s something that you can control, but it’s no different from food addiction or drug addiction. All these things affect different parts of the brain; that’s why it’s an addiction.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, running a hand over my head. “He and my dad think it’s as easy as just saying no to sex.”
“If it were that easy, addictions wouldn’t be a thing,” Samson said. A text message push alert sounded in my ear, startling me. I glanced at my screen to see the preview of it.
Aaliyah: Hey, are you busy right now? I kind of need someone right now. Can we meet somewhere?
“Hold on a second, Sam,” I said into the phone and opened the text to reply to her.
Mason: I’m working at home right now. You can come over and we can order some food or something if you want.
Aaliyah: Are you sure that’s okay? I don’t want to disturb you.
Mason: Yeah, it’s cool. I was getting ready to take a break for dinner anyway.
I texted her my address and returned to the phone conversation. “Hey, Sam, I’m sorry to cut this early, but I have someone coming over in a few minutes,” I said.
“It’s not an escort or anything, right?”
“No. It’s a friend from high school.”
“Mason, you’re in a vulnerable state right now. Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked.
I sighed. I didn’t even say it was a woman, but it was like he knew. “She’s not an escort. She just needs someone to talk to right now and maybe she can give me some advice about what to do about my brother.” Samson was quiet. “She’s the woman I’m trying to win back.”
“Ah.” He sighed deeply. “Well, be careful, man. It may be better to meet in a public place so you won’t be tempted.”
“Trust me, I can’t do anything with her unless she wants to and with what happened between us, I doubt she’d want to.”
“I hear you. I’m here if you need me or feel as if you’re going to do something you’ll regret.”
“Thanks, man. I’ll talk to you soon,” I said and hung up.
I rushed around and straightened up my condo, ordered Chinese, and flopped down on the couch and waited. At least seeing her would make this shitty evening a little brighter.
Thirty minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I crossed over the living room and looked through the peephole, seeing both her and the food delivery guy there. She gave me a small smile when I opened the door, entering when I stepped aside. After paying the delivery guy, I brought the food into the living room where she sat on the couch.
“Everything okay?” I asked, putting the food on the coffee table before sitting next to her. She nodded, unable to meet my eyes. “It doesn’t look like it.”
“It’s just been a long day, that’s all,” she said with a small shrug, looking at the food cartons. “What did you order?”
I picked up the two bigger cartons. “Beef fried rice, chicken wings, and beef lo mein because it’s your favorite if I remembered correctly,” I said, looking at her to confirm. She giggled and grabbed the beef lo mein carton and opened it.
“Yep, definitely still my favorite,” she said. “Thanks for letting me come over.”
“Of course. I needed a break anyway,” I mused. I studied her. She wore a pair of denim shorts and a black graphic tee, her pedicured toes in a pair of sleek strappy sandals. Her face was bare of makeup, but the rims of her eyes were wet. “So how was your day?”
She reached over on the coffee table and grabbed a package of chop sticks, kicking off her sandals before settling down on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her. “It was a bit hectic. There’s a lot going on,” she said, focusing her gaze on the lo mein in front of her.
“What to talk about it?” I asked, taking a spoonful of fried rice into my mouth.
“Not really,” she said. “I just wanted to get away for a little while.”
I nodded and continued eating. My mind churned with many questions, but I didn’t want to run her away. I was just happy to see her again.
“What about you?” she asked. I raised an eyebrow.
“What about me?”
“How was your day? You look a bit stressed out. Tough day in court or something?” she asked, slurping her noodles. I cringed.
“God, you still do that?” I teased. “It’s just as annoying now as it was back then.”
She giggled as she chewed. “Some things never change. You know that,” she retorted. “Now answer my question.”
“Work was work. Nothing really out of the ordinary, I guess. Had a…talk with Malcolm that didn’t go so well,” I said.
“I’m sorry. How is he doing?”
I shrugged. “Fine. He’s married now.” I swallowed hard. “And um…he has a baby on the way.”
Aaliyah’s eyes lit up as she smiled. “Aw, really? That’s so great for him,” she gushed and then went quiet for a moment. “You don’t look all that happy about becoming an uncle though. Are you not happy for him or something?”
To tell her how the conversation went would be to tell her everything that led to Malcolm’s breaking point. If I planned on building a relationship with this woman, the last thing I wanted to do was to lay everything I was ashamed of out in the open.
“Of course I’m happy, it’s just…shit is complicated right now,” I admitted with a sigh. “Our relationship hasn’t been the best over the years and it’s mostly my fault.”
“He’s still upset about what happened in high school?”
I sighed. “Not…necessarily. Some other stuff happened after that and—”
“Jesus, Mason,” Aaliyah interrupted, her face twisting is disapproval and disgust. “Don’t tell me you slept with another one of his girlfriends.”
“No, no, no,” I stated, shaking my head. “Nothing like that. It’s just that being a twin hasn’t been easy when your twin is a sex addict who sometimes pisses off women.”
She was quiet for a moment. I could feel her eyes on me as I stirred the rice in the carton, unable to look at her. She finally sighed.
“So what’s going on with you two now? Is it something it can be worked on?” she asked.
“I don’t know. When I went to talk to him, he basically said he needed to get away from me to protect his wife and their baby. He’d said a lot of things have happened to him and his wife because of me. Women stalking them, breaking windows and things like that. Just the other day, a girl followed Malcolm to Hooters where he was meeting me and a few friends and punched him in the eye because she thought he was me,” I admitted, putting the carton down. I no longer had an appetite anymore.
“You have to look at it from his point of view, too, Mason,” she reasoned softly. “I mean if the shoe were on the other foot, you’d get tired of that kind of thing, too.”
“I don’t discredit how he feels. I 100% understand why he feels the way he does. I just…” I rested my head against the back of the couch and focused on the ceiling. “I just hate that I’ve made him so miserable that he thinks he has to move clear across the country and have nothing to do with me. His wife wants me nowhere near their baby and once my dad finds out Malcolm wants to move away, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“All you can do is continue working on yourself. When people see you’re making an effort to change—”
“He doesn’t even think it’s a real problem,” I interrupted, frustration filling me. “He thinks it’s just as simple as saying no and it’s not like that. He’ll never understand what it’s like to never feel
like you’re enough to your parents and always have to worry about being compared to your brother and how you’ll never amount to him. He doesn’t know what it’s like to work for our father and damn near break your back for a company that you don’t even know you’re going to get. All our dad talks about is how he wishes Malcolm went into law instead of me because he doesn’t trust me enough to leave the firm to me, never mind that I win almost every case I get and I’m in high demand right now. None of that matters to my father because I’m not Malcolm.”
“Is that why you do what you do?” she asked, her voice soft. “Because you’re angry at your dad?”
“No,” I admitted. “It’s because it’s the only time I feel like I’m good enough. Making a woman come seems to be the only thing I can do without someone making me feel like shit for not meeting their standards or comparing me to my brother in some way.”
“There’s nothing else you can do to feel that way? Like a healthy hobby?”
“Probably, but once my dad catches wind of it, he’ll find some way to down talk the progress I’m trying to make,” I said with a sigh and closed my eyes, feeling a headache coming on.
“I see,” she said, putting her carton on the coffee table. “Well, how’s the support group going for you?”
“I’ve only been to one so far since I saw you last, but I have a sponsor now,” I told her. “I was actually talking to him when you’d texted me. He thought I was about to do something reckless because you were coming.”
“If no one else tells you, I am proud of you for trying. I know it’s hard to do this with no kind of support, but it’s great that you’re still trying and you have a sponsor to help you. Having one will be really good for you,” she said with a small smile.
I looked over at her and returned her smile. “Thanks. It’s nice to hear that sometimes.”
“I know. I’m sure you’re probably thinking about your brother, but just focus on making things right with him,” she suggested.
I shook my head. “Malcolm doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say. I tried to apologize—”
“Maybe he wants to see action and not words.”
“Well, if he leaves like he said he is, he won’t be able to see anything. If he leaves, who’s to say I’ll even hear from him again? Since he’s leaving to get away from me, I doubt he’ll leave any contact information and he’ll probably tell our dad not to tell me where he is.” I sighed. “Whatever. It’s not like they aren’t already alienating me.”
“I don’t believe they’re doing it to be spiteful,” she said. “People just reach their breaking points after a while. If this has been going on for years, that’s a pretty long time, Mason. They may be hurt or embarrassed or—”
“And no one bothers to ask me how I feel,” I snapped. “No one talks to me or wants to listen to what made me this way. I tried talking to my dad about it, and all he did was tell me I was shifting blame for my lack of control and went on and on about how he didn’t have to deal with this with Malcolm. How does everyone expect me to feel when people keep backing me into a corner?”
She looked at me in slight surprise. I ground my teeth. She wasn’t the one I was upset with. Blowing up at her didn’t seem fair when she was trying to give me neutral advice.
I blew out a breath and closed my eyes. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “Look, let’s just stop talking about this. At the end of the day, I’m still a work in progress. If Malcolm moves, he moves. If my dad is pissed about it, he’ll just be pissed. I can’t change either of those situations, so I’m going to focus on the things I can.”
“That’s probably for the best,” she said softly.
I suddenly stood, needing some space for a moment. “Um, do you want anything to drink? I have tea, wine, beer, and some cola I think,” I said.
“Cola is fine,” she said, studying my face. I walked into the kitchen and moved over to the counter beside the sink. Placing my hands on the counter, I took in a deep breath and released it slowly, closing my eyes. I can only focus on the situations I can control. I can’t stop Malcolm from leaving, so all I can do is accept it. I know my father is going to let me have it when he finds out, so all I can do is prepare for it and not give him the power to trigger me. I can only control how I react, nothing more, nothing less.
“Mase?” Aaliyah said behind me. I opened my eyes and looked over my shoulder to see her standing in the doorway. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t,” I said, turning to retrieve two glasses from the cabinet before moving over to the refrigerator. She stood there watching me as I held the glasses to the ice maker and filled them with ice before grabbing two cans of Cola. I walked past her and headed back to the living room as she followed behind me. We continued eating in silence, but I could feel her eyes on me from time to time.
“So other than the escort thing, do you do anything else?” I asked, trying to make conversation.
She shrugged. “No, just family stuff mostly. Helping out and such while trying to find another job,” she answered.
“Helping with stuff like what?”
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her attention glued to the carton. “Just helping my mom with whatever she needs help with. Her health has gone downhill after her and my dad divorced a few years ago, so I try to help her with things around the house and whatever else she may need.”
“Oh man. I’m sorry to hear about your mom,” I murmured. “Is she going to be okay?”
“I think so. She’s just taking things a day at a time right now.”
“What happened to you after high school? Did you end up going to school?”
“I um…with my dad losing his job at the last minute, we couldn’t afford to send me to college and my mom made too much for me to get much from financial aid. Since she was the only one picking up the financial slack, there was no money left over to pay for me to go to school. So…I just worked.”
“Oh,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Life happens,” she said. “How’s your mom?”
“She’s fine. I’m supposed to be going over for dinner tomorrow night. Not really looking forward to it.”
“It won’t be that bad, will it?”
“If Malcolm and Courtney show up, it will be,” I muttered before an idea dawned on me. “Wait, maybe if you come with me, it won’t be so bad.”
Aaliyah leaned back a little, her forehead wrinkling as she raised her eyebrows. “Mason, I—”
“It’s just dinner; no funny business or anything. Please…I just need support. I don’t know if I can handle my father alone,” I pleaded. I didn’t want to appear weak in front of her, but there was no way I could walk into the lion’s den unprepared. She looked at me for a few moments with a sigh.
“Fine, but I’m only going as your friend. This isn’t a date.”
“That’s fine. Whatever makes you more comfortable.”
She looked at her watch and sighed. “It’s getting late. I should probably get back home,” she said with a small smile before standing.”
“Aaliyah,” I said, standing as well. I took her hands into mine and met her slightly confused gaze. “I know this is probably crazy to ask, but…stay with me tonight.”
She scoffed and shook her head. “You know I can’t do that, Mason. I have a—” She cleared her throat. “I’m in no position to spend the night with you. We’re only friends, remember?”
“I remember, but friends can have sleepovers, can’t they?”
She rolled her eyes. “We aren’t 12.”
“I know, but…I just…I know something is wrong. I can see you’ve been crying and something’s bothering you and because I don’t know what it is, I don’t feel comfortable sending you back out there.”
She stared at me, her expression unreadable before she finally shook her head. “I’m fine. There’s nothing happening at home to where it isn’t safe for me to go back,” she said, pulling away from me.
“Then why ca
n’t you tell me what’s going on with you?” I asked. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, her eyes glossing over with tears instead.
“Because it doesn’t matter,” she finally said, her voice shaky. “I have to go.”
She turned to walked away, but I caught her hand and pulled her to my chest, wrapping my arms around her. She went rigid against me, but she didn’t try to pull away. I rested my chin on top of her head and waited, the tears finally coming as she trembled against me.
“Just stay with me tonight,” I whispered, kissing her forehead. She pulled away and wiped her eyes with a sigh before nodding.
“Okay.”
Chapter 7
I slowly opened my eyes when someone moved next to me. I looked down to see Aaliyah snuggled to my chest, still dressed in the clothes she wore the night before. I glanced down at myself, to see that I was still also fully dressed in my dress pants and undershirt.
She was so beautiful. Her long lashes rested against her cheeks as she slept, her lips slightly parted. Her curls were splayed over my arm and the pillow, her arms tucked in front of her. I wrapped my other arm around her and held her a little closer, kissing her forehead. I knew I had to get up soon to get ready for work, but I didn’t want to end this moment with her. I thought back to when we were younger and how she’d come over to my house in the middle of the night when her parents fought. I used to hold her like this as she cried herself to sleep, just as she’d done last night. I didn’t know what was going on with her, but it hurt my heart to know that something was hurting her and I couldn’t fix it.
Aaliyah slightly stirred in my arms before finally opening her eyes. When she looked up at me, she did a double take, her eyes widening as she jumped up.
“Shit!” she exclaimed, looking around. “What time is it?”
I picked up my phone from the nightstand. “It’s 6:13. Why, what’s wrong?” I asked, completely confused. I watched her as she frantically pulled on her shoes as she mumbled to herself rushing around the room. I finally got out of bed and moved over to her, gently grabbing her arms to stop her for a moment. “Aaliyah, what’s wrong?”
Lawfully Screwed (Lawful Affair) Page 8