Crickets chirped in the quiet, posh neighborhood, the air warm and still. I put my hand in my pockets and walked down the steps, walking down the driveway. So many emotions crashed around within me. I was angry, embarrassed, hurt, and alienated. Here I was damn near killing myself by working to death trying to please this man and all it took was my brother saying he was moving away for him to rip that away from me. Tears of frustration burned my eyes, but I blinked them away before they had the chance to fully form. So now what? Malcolm’s moving and I’d lost the chance to inherit the family business. What did I have left? After what happened tonight, I was sure Aaliyah would go running for the hills after hearing the other shit I’d done over the years.
“Mason?” a soft voice said behind me. I turned to see her slowly approaching me, sadness in her eyes as she gazed at me. Her heels clicked along the driveway as she moved closer. “Are you okay?”
I diverted my gaze back to the driveway and nodded. “Yeah, just needed some air,” I said, my voice low. She moved to stand next to me.
“That was…rough,” she said and shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not the first time. I just have to accept the fact that I’ll never be good enough for him no matter what I do. It’s whatever,” I said with a shrug. I didn’t care anymore. I was mentally exhausted from years of this kind of treatment. Maybe I needed to follow suit and just cut my family off and start fresh somewhere else. It wasn’t like I was wanted here in the first place.
“I think you’re good enough,” she said. “You should think you’re good enough, too. You wouldn’t be as successful as you are if you weren’t—”
“None of that matters. It never mattered to him. He probably was never going to give me the firm anyway. I went through law school to appease him, worked at the family firm to prove to him that I was ready to take on the responsibility and now it’s all…gone.”
Aaliyah stood quiet next to me. I looked into the house, seeing my parents hugging Malcolm and Courtney and feeling on Courtney’s belly. It was as if I was an outsider to my own family. His words echoed in my head. You’re weak. Aaliyah deserves better than you. You’re a disgrace to this family. You ruin everything you touch.
I sighed. “I need to get out of here,” I finally said. She looked up at me.
“Is this the kind of stuff that triggers you?” she asked.
“Pretty much,” I gritted, looking up through the window again. She followed my gaze.
“Do you want to tell them you’re leaving?”
I shook my head. It wasn’t like they’d care anyway. “No. It’s probably best that I don’t,” I said and turned to walk to my car.
*
When we were back in the city limits, I glanced over at her. Although I wanted her to stay the night, I didn’t want a repeat of this morning and I needed a release tonight. I knew I was supposed to call Samson when I was struggling, but no amount of talking would get me through this episode.
“Do you want me to drop you off somewhere or something?” I finally asked. She looked over at me.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” she asked.
“What do you mean do I think it’s a good idea? Making sure you get home safe isn’t a good idea?”
“No, I mean…do you think it’s a good idea for you to be alone right now?” she asked. I shrugged.
“I’ll be fine.”
“You’re going to call someone,” she said, her voice flat. “Aren’t you?”
“Aaliyah…” I sighed. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”
“The truth,” she said. “Are you going to call for an escort when I leave?”
My hand gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I need to release what I feel. I don’t expect anyone to understand—”
“You can release what you feel by talking about it,” she stated. I scoffed and shook my head.
“You don’t get it.”
“Mason, you have to fight this—”
“My fucking father insinuated that he would’ve gotten rid of me had he known I would’ve turned out like this. What the fuck is there to talk about to hear that my dad doesn’t want a damn thing to do with me?” I snapped, anger starting to overwhelm me. “I don’t expect you to understand. No one ever fucking understands.”
I could feel her eyes on me, but she didn’t say a word. The rest of the ride back to my place was silent, not even the radio playing. I parked in the parking garage and rested my head against the headrest with a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, closing my eyes. “This night was a fucking disaster. You shouldn’t have had to witness that or witness me like this.” I swallowed hard, my heart hurting in my chest. “My dad was right. You deserve so much better than me. You need someone strong, not someone who can’t even stand up for himself against his father or fight an addiction.” I looked over at her to see the tears sitting in her eyes as she looked at me. “It’s late, so if you need me to take you home, I can. And I’ll understand if I don’t hear from you.”
She unbuckled her seatbelt, leaned over, and kissed me, her tears finally falling down her cheeks. Her hand rested on my cheek as her soft lips moved against mine. Her kiss was like a balm over my devastated heart, somehow making tonight a tiny bit less shitty. When she finally pulled away, she looked at me with wet eyes.
“Your father doesn’t know what’s best for me. He doesn’t even know you to know whether or not you’re not good enough for me. You can overcome sex addiction. It’s something that you’re dealing with, but it’s not who you are. You’ll make it through this, Mason.”
I shook my head. “It feels like I’ve lost everything. There’s nothing left to fight for,” I whispered, a sneaky tear rolling down my cheek before I could stop it. Aaliyah brushed it away, looking at me with sympathetic eyes.
“Fight for yourself,” she said. “Fight for the future you want. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you’ll go on to open your own firm or something. You have the reputation for it.” Her thumb caressed my cheek, her touch enveloping me in peace. “It’ll be okay. Tonight fucking sucked, I know, but calling an escort isn’t going to fix the hurt that’s inside you.”
“I know it doesn’t. It never does, but it never stops me from wanting to bury myself deep inside a woman and just forgetting about it for a while,” I admitted, resting my head on the headrest again. She moved away and settled back into her seat without a word. When I looked over at her, she was shimmying out of her panties before reaching under my seat. “What are you doing?”
“If you need someone, I’d rather you have me than to call some random woman,” she said, pushing my seat back. My seat clicked back further and she moved over and straddled my lap, devouring my mouth. My hands moved under her dress, pushing it up around her waist before squeezing her bare ass. She reached between us and undid my belt and zipper, removing my growing erection from my boxers and stroking it in her hand.
“We’re doing this here?” I breathed, stifling a groan as she jerked my cock in her hand.
“Well, you parked in a dark corner. I think we’ll be fine,” she said, kissing me again. Once I was hard, she positioned me at her core and eased it inside of her, moaning as I sank deeper inside of her. I gripped her hips tight as she slowly moved and down my cock until I filled her completely.
“Fuck, you feel amazing,” I moaned as she bounced on my cock, my hands tightening on her ass. She leaned forward and kissed my neck.
“I love how you feel inside of me, baby,” she whispered. “You’re the only one who can make me come so hard. Do you feel how wet you make me, baby?”
“Hell yeah,” I growled, guiding her to move quicker.
“You’re more than enough, Mason. I love how you’re so deep inside of me, hitting my spot over and over until you make me squirt,” she moaned, her walls tightening around my swollen cock.
“Fuck, Aaliyah,” I moaned, holding her tighter to me. Her moans were sweet and filled
with lust, her hands clutching the back of the seat as she bounced on me quick and hard, bringing me closer to the well-needed release I desperately needed.
“Oh Mason, baby I’m gonna come all over your cock,” she moaned, crashing her mouth mine. Her tongue intertwined with mine as she whimpered against my lips, her walls tightening around me again as she got closer to the edge.
“Come for me, baby,” I panted, pulling her down harder each time she bounced. “Show me that I make you feel good.”
“You make me feel so good, baby,” she whimpered. “You’re the only one who knows what my pussy needs.”
“Because it’s still mine,” I whispered upon her lips.
She licked her lips. “Yes,” she whispered. “All yours.”
I captured her lips again, allowing the tingling sensation to take over me as I approached my climax. Aaliyah threw her head back and screamed, her body jerking on my cock. “Mason!” she moaned, her hand tightly squeezing my shoulder as she came.
“Ah fuck,” I groaned, jerking inside of her as I came, emptying myself inside of her.
She slumped forward against me, panting, her core still pulsing around my cock. “Do you feel any better?” she said in between her panting. A slow smile pulled at my lips as I tried to catch my breath.
“Never better,” I stated. She looked at me, a slight smirk on her lips.
“Is it because you always feel better after getting a release?” she asked.
“No.” I gave her ass a gentle squeeze. “It’s because I had my release with someone I care about,” I murmured, holding her gaze. A soft smile formed on her lips before she kissed me once more, her hand caressing my cheek again.
“That’s sweet,” she whispered when she pulled away.
“So what now? Do I take you home…?”
She bit her lip and shook her head. “I think we should go upstairs and finish talking about what happened at dinner tonight. Simply having a release won’t change what happened, so you need to talk about it and process your feelings.”
I frowned. All that would do was put me back in the mindset I was just in. That didn’t seem very productive. “But—”
“And then after we talk,” she continued, interrupting me. “You can release those emotions again, but in bed this time.”
I smiled and gave her a light squeeze. “That sounds like a good plan to me.”
Chapter 8
The smell of frying bacon pulled me out of sleep the next morning. I opened my eyes, seeing the empty spot next to me and hearing water running in the kitchen. I grabbed my wrist watch from the nightstand to check the time, seeing it was half past nine. A smile pulled at my lips. Last night was wild. After having sex in the car, we came up to my condo, unable to keep our hands off of each other. She led me to my bedroom, kneeling between my legs.
She asked me to tell her how I felt about what happened at dinner and why. I told her how angry and embarrassed I was, how I felt unwanted, and how I was almost starting to hate my father. My anger didn’t have time to manifest again because my cock was in her hand as she urged me to keep talking. Trying to talk while having your cock sucked by a woman who knew what she was doing was one hell of a challenge, but I managed to get those emotions out. Though I was still upset about not inheriting the law firm, I knew I couldn’t dwell on it. No need to stress over something that I knew wouldn’t change.
I threw the blanket off my naked body and got out of bed, making my way into the kitchen. Aaliyah stood at the stove wearing my dress shirt as she cooked, flipping a couple pieces of bacon. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
“Good morning,” I murmured, kissing her neck. She bit her lip and smiled.
“Morning, handsome,” she said, her voice soft. “I hope you’re hungry.”
“After all the energy I burned last night, I’m starving,” I replied. My hands move down to her thighs, my fingers lightly running up and down them before going under the shirt. “Mmm…no panties.”
“Don’t get any ideas,” she said with a giggle. I kissed her neck again as my hand moved between her legs. “I’m trying to cook.”
“You can still cook.”
“You’re distracting me.”
“Pretend I’m not even here,” I whispered, my fingers finding her clit. Despite her protests, she slightly spread her feet apart to give me better access. I placed soft kisses up and down her neck, my fingers circling her clit. She ground against my growing erection.
“I hope this isn’t a ploy for you to get me all hot and bothered and then you stop,” she breathed. I ran two fingers up and down her now slick core.
“No. It’s a ploy to get you ready for me to fuck you on the counter,” I whispered, turning her around and kissing her. She wrapped her arms around my neck, devouring my mouth with lust and need. I pushed the frying pan off the hot burner and moved Aaliyah over to the counter next to the stove, picking her up and sitting her on it. There was something about this woman that made me feel alive. Even though last night was probably the worst night of my life, her being here made me feel as if everything would be okay no matter what happened. She made me feel as if I could do anything, as if I could get through anything and the happiness that filled me when she was in my presence was the best feeling in the world.
She moaned when I sank into her, her legs wrapping around my waist. When I usually had sex with women for a release, I never felt anything. It felt good in the moment, but once it was over, I still felt the emotions I was trying to run from. It was different with Aaliyah. After having sex with her last night, I felt good and I didn’t feel the usual emotions I usually did. It felt like I’d assumed it would when having sex with my woman after a hard day at work, needing comfort and release with someone I knew cared about me. Whether or not I wanted to face it, I still had feelings for this woman and each time I had sex with her, more of those feelings came to the surface.
I kissed her passionately, my strokes long and hard inside of her. Her nails scratched my back as I pumped into her, her moans of pleasure raising goosebumps on my skin.
“Mason,” she moaned. I growled and thrust harder into her.
“That’s it, baby,” I whispered upon her lips. “Say my name.”
“Mason,” she moaned again, kissing me. “Make me come.”
I locked my arms behind her knees and lifted her legs, stroking her quicker, deeper, and harder. Her soaking core gripped my cock tight as she approached her climax, damn near making my eyes roll to the back of my head.
“You’re so fucking wet for me, baby,” I groaned, seeing my cock covered in her juices as I moved within her. Her hands tightly squeezed my biceps as her breaths turned into pants, her walls quivering around my cock.
“I’m so close,” she whispered, closing her eyes. I pulled her a little closer to the edge of the counter and pounded into her, burying my face in the crook of her neck as I felt my release quickly approaching. Her body jerked against me moments before her scream finally filled the kitchen, her core gushing when she climaxed.
I clutched her tight to me as I pumped harder into her, emptying my seed inside of her with a groan that echoed off the walls. “Damn,” I panted against her neck. She lifted my face and kissed me passionately before looking into my eyes.
“Why does this feel right?” she asked softly.
I wondered the same thing. Why did it seem like we just picked up where we left off, as if we were still madly in love with each other and were consumed in each other? It felt right because it was right, at least to me. She’d said that everything happened for a reason and I believed fate bought us back together for a reason. I knew I didn’t want to lose her again and I’d do whatever I needed to in order to make sure we were in this for the long haul this time.
“What if it is?” I replied, holding her gaze. She dropped her eyes and placed her hands on my chest.
“I should probably finish cooking,” she said. I released her and watched as she slid off the
counter and went back to cooking. I sighed. This woman was so confusing. I’d agreed with her about what she said and it was almost as if it made her uncomfortable.
“Are you worried about becoming emotionally involved with me?” I asked.
She looked at me, her brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“What are we doing?” I asked. “Is this just sex? Friends with benefits? A budding relationship? What?”
She turned back to the stove. “I don’t really know, Mason. It’s entirely too early to know right now.”
“What do you want to happen between us?” I asked, almost fearful of what her answer would be.
“I just wanted to help you, Mason. I thought it would be better for you to be with someone you actually know than to have sex with a random woman who doesn’t know anything about you or how to help you,” she said, keeping her eyes focused on the frying pan.
I nodded. “I see,” I said, my tone flat.
She finally looked over at me. “Mason…I told you when I first saw you that a relationship with you wasn’t what I’m looking for right now. You still have a lot of things you need to work on within yourself. If sex is going to be confusing to you, maybe we shouldn’t—”
“Don’t you think it’s a little late for that?” I asked, slowly becoming irritated. Was I confused or was she just sending mixed signals? One minute she was all over me and being loving and affectionate and now she’s saying that she doesn’t want a relationship and she’s just doing this to help me. If she were just doing this to help, she wouldn’t still be here cooking me breakfast. We wouldn’t have just had sex again. She wouldn’t have brought up the fact that us being together again felt right.
I sighed and shook my head. “Never mind. You’re right. It’s just sex; maybe it’s my fault for letting my feelings get the best of me,” I said. “I’m going to go take a shower.”
I left the kitchen and headed to the master bathroom, grinding my teeth. If I didn’t get my emotions together, I was bound to spiral out of control if things were to fall apart.
Lawfully Screwed (Lawful Affair) Page 10